Circus Excite (23 page)

Julia imitated the movement, and noticed gleefully as Joe's gaze fixed hungrily on the crotch of her knickers, raking over the curves of her ass as it tilted upwards at an absurd and lewd angle towards him.

She knew the man was still watching, and delighted in the thought of surprising him with this surreal and exotic performance first thing in the morning. As ever, she moved with the silent rhythm that came easily to her, matching it to Sylvie's undulating movements and approaching the other girl to dance slowly with her, waiting for Joe and Henri to move in closer.

The show was building to a silent subtle climax, brimming with sparks of sexual tension passing between the four, Sylvie bobbing against Julia's chest and letting her tongue roll over Julia's neck, winding her hands into her hair as if she was knitting the two of them together. As she drew Julia closer to give her a lingering deep kiss, Julia felt Joe's hands wrap around her waist and lift her up till she was held aloft with her crotch pressing tightly against his shoulder, while Sylvie rose towards her in Henri's arms. The four of them moved to a huddle, forming a tight knot of limbs that linked with each other and balanced smoothly into a tower of flesh and taut muscle. Julia reached forward to hold Sylvie while she ground herself against Joe's collarbone, before freezing in the position that left her aching to move more, to bring herself pleasure against the bodies of her companions. Simultaneously, the others brought their movements to stillness and held the position, freezing once again as a motionless tableau as the sun suddenly broke from the horizon and spilt yellow daylight over the hillside.

The sound of one man clapping shyly, before hurrying away, was enough to make them collapse with laughter, four of them trembling with the effort of holding a difficult pose and the delight of getting turned on in public, while entertaining the passing walker. They moved apart reluctantly, each acknowledging slyly that the routine had got them all aroused.

It was a beautiful sunrise, and Julia watched it
wrapped in an exhausted but horny tangle of her friends and fellow workers, lazily stroking each other under the blanket as though continuing the performance. She let a hand wander inside her corset and squeeze gently at her aching nipple, while she pressed her cheek against Joe's taut warm belly and closed her eyes to the dream-like quality of their sex play. Occasionally she'd think of the show to come, while Sylvie gave her a nip on the ear or kissed her sweetly, and the pictures that flowed through her mind were a sumptuous wonderland; beautifully erotic.

While the four friends explored each other Julia let herself fall in love with the whole circus; the strange dangerous dream of it. The feel of Joe's tongue gently licking at her earlobe and circling lazily down towards her mouth was even more thrilling with the others watching, and the lovemaking felt increasingly like a complex dance. Henri wrapped his spidery limbs around her, pushing his long thin erection into the small of her back, while Julia twisted to reach down to play with Joe. He gradually hardened in her hand, and Julia felt the wonder of two pricks gently butting against her, the stiff monstrous size of Joe filling her palm, the point of Henri's cock rubbing against her ass. She was overcome by a desire to feel every inch of her skin against another body, the weight of bodies pin her down and smother her.

Trapped in the delicious pincers of the men, she let her mouth fall open and found Sylvie's hot, eager mouth suddenly against hers, the other girl's tongue tripping quickly between her lips, and she kissed back as though she was no longer in possession of her senses – only aware of the multiple movements, the increasing rhythm of the caresses passed between them.

Under the hazed damp light of the blanket the four
peeled back clothes to reveal each other's most intimate places: Julia allowing Sylvie's mouth to dance over her body; nipping at her breasts with sharp pearly teeth; feeling Joe pull her scant G-string aside as Sylvie worked closer to her pussy; letting Henri grind himself between the cheeks of her ass. It was as though they were lost in a strange subliminal place where only their pleasure mattered. The sequence of movements blurred into an overwhelming mix of sensations as Julia felt Sylvie's tongue slipping over her clit, Joe's fingers digging into her inner thigh, and Henri holding her tightly. She was held firmly while the other three explored her, while she strained to feel yet more of their bodies against her, trying to rub her face into Sylvie's crotch, wanting suddenly to taste the salty dew of her friend's excitement even as her cunt was assaulted by the others. She was like an animal caught in a trap, willingly tortured by the three hungry creatures, each pushing her against the other. A chorus of fingers, tongue and cock tried to find their way inside her, hands roving over her skin and agitating her to a point of frantic want. She felt, from behind, Henri holding her tits, squeezing her nipples between his delicate fingers as if he was playing an instrument, pinching her till he coaxed a note that was a mix of pain and intense pleasure from her mouth.

Julia cried louder, an unearthly sound coming from her mouth as he pushed the head of his cock against the tight hole of her ass, and she felt herself licked and sucked at the same time.

She let waves of furious arousal shimmer over her and through her, giving her a sensation as white-hot and dangerous as the feeling she had when she performed – knowing her entire body was being worked to fever pitch, that she was moving into a space that was not entirely sane any more. It was the moment when
her body took over and became something outwith her control, a conductor of heat and energy that was no more than movement, sensation and eroticism.

As she felt the intent of the other three working her towards an orgasm she knew would blow her apart, Julia moaned and gave in. She felt Henri's dark intense movements, and the jubilant flicking of Sylvie's tongue against her clit, Joe's strong hands holding her as she came, holding her hips and bearing down on her to let the climax of this sequence crash through her and overpower her, the darkness explode in her head. She lost control, then, of her mind and body: bucking, writhing and half sobbing. Yet even as she convulsed with the orgasm, she knew somewhere within herself that this abandon was what drove her, what she had always been chasing, as she danced and flirted and listened for the roar of the crowd out beyond the stage. The sensation of being fucked beyond reason was the same as that of dancing herself to a frenzy, surrendering to the desires of the audience, of her lovers, her own body.

IT WAS EARLY
morning when they walked back across the quiet empty city, the only other souls awake a few workmen clearing last night's litter and debris from the streets. Julia felt as though she were floating through a silvery grey dream, the lack of sleep and after-effects of love-play combining to give her a feeling of altered reality. Bumping gently against Joe's side, wrapped in the soft blanket, she let herself be led through the sleeping city to the quiet green expanse of the Meadows. Her eyes were half closed with fatigue and her skin felt sticky from her own sweat and that of the others, from their shared small playful intimacies on the side of the hill that left Julia turned on and blissful.

Since she'd joined the circus it seemed she'd been in a perpetual state of arousal; hyper aware of every nuance of her body's responses from the touches of others or from the vivid provocative spectacle of the show itself. It had been an intense, confusing experience, and she felt the exhaustion of days overwhelming her. Yet as the morning slowly brightened she was flooded with a new energy. Her desire to perform was stronger than ever, and it was with a fresh confidence that she arrived at the tree-shaded site where the rest of the circus still slept.

The circle of caravans was quiet and dark, with curtains drawn and the generator lying idle and silent. As the others said goodbye and headed to their caravans, Julia remembered the note. The light was on in Robert's van, and she realised with a lurch that he would have
read the letter last night, no doubt ensuring his night was as sleepless as hers. With a whispered explanation to Sylvie, she crept towards the silver trailer, half hoping that Robert would be asleep.

She knocked tentatively, and heard the scrape of a chair inside. Robert opened the door and stood looking at her, his face distracted and unshaven, the puffiness under his eyes betraying his exhaustion. He nodded at her.

‘Still here? I thought you'd abandoned the sinking ship.' His voice was rough and scratchy, as though he'd spent all night smoking. Julia noticed the accusation, but tried to ignore it.

‘Can I come in?'

‘Be my guest.'

He stood aside to let her pass, and Julia slipped into the caravan to be greeted by a chaotic mess of papers strewn over the table, floor and sofas, an ashtray and dirty wineglass abandoned on the desk. Gingerly, she moved aside a pile of folders and sat on the sofa. It was a very different scene to her last visit – obviously Robert had been up all night.

‘So, is this a goodbye call?' he asked, folding his arms.

‘I'm not going, Robert. I just got scared. Like you said, the circus isn't an easy way to live.'

He studied her with a hard gaze.

‘Julia, the whole show runs according to exact planning. You're well aware of that. We put you in an important position and would expect you to honour your commitment.'

His tone was sharp, but Julia was prepared for it. She nodded.

‘I just needed reminding of something.'

‘Which was?'

‘More important, even, than being obliged to perform. I'd forgotten what it is I love, the whole reason I'm here.'

‘The spotlight? The glory? Might not be much of that to go around,' Robert spat bitterly, and Julia realised how much the review had shaken him. She shook her head, watching him carefully.

‘No, Robert, it's not important. It's the dance I love, the movement and the playfulness of it. I love the freedom, and the Circus Excite is the first place I've felt like I could show – everything of myself.'

Robert gave a short bark of laughter.

‘I thought you objected to being called a stripper.'

‘So did I, to begin with. But I've learnt a lot since then.'

‘Yeah, well I'm glad the show's helped you find your inner slut, or whatever it is you think you've got a hold of. But I wouldn't hang your hopes on the circus.'

Julia was stunned. She'd never heard Robert talk with bitterness, and despite the fact neither of them had slept last night, she gathered his anger was more than just exhaustion. The circus was Robert's whole life and she couldn't believe he would doubt himself. He had dropped abruptly into a chair, hanging forward as though he was utterly drained, rubbing his eyes. His usual easy languor had evaporated, and for the first time Julia thought she saw a human weakness about him.

‘I saw the review,' she said softly.

‘You and the whole of the theatre world,' he said, shoving his hands into his hair. ‘We've been written off as a cheap sex show. The bastard might be a hypocrite, but he's got power. It's not just the article. He'll make sure the guys at the licensing department are aware of the “perversity”. He'll spread the word round his cronies in the press, the theatre critics. He'd do anything he could to shut us down. As it is, we're running on a loss . . .' Robert trailed off, letting the note of despair hang in the air between them.

It was almost heartbreaking, Julia thought, to see this man who'd worked tirelessly to create the circus destroyed by a vindictive piece of criticism. Robert was a wreck, and in contrast to Julia's new surge of optimism, he was obviously on the edge of a dark chasm. She sat for a minute watching him. The change had not diminished his attractiveness, she thought; in fact a part of her wanted more than ever to approach this strange lonely man and press her body against his. He lived in a world that was distant and unknowable, but in that moment she thought she glimpsed a little of his true self, and the feeling excited her. Although she was dizzy with lack of sleep, Julia sensed the chance to touch Robert now, to move closer to him in a way she hadn't imagined before.

‘Do you remember the first time I came to your caravan?' she asked, feeling her way tentatively.

When Robert made no response, she continued, determined to reach him.

‘You made me undress and held a mirror in front of me. I was terrified, and when I got turned on I was . . . ashamed.'

Robert lifted his head and looked at her. Though his eyes were still shadowed with tiredness, Julia saw a cold spark in them that made her catch her breath.

‘I sat like this,' Julia continued, leaning back in the seat and slowly spreading her legs apart. ‘I was at my most vulnerable, Robert. I could never have imagined . . . touching myself in front of a stranger.' As she spoke, Julia let her hand drift over her body, reaching to her breast and resting gently there, cupping the soft swell. She started rubbing at herself, scuffing her nipple and letting it harden under the insistent pressure of her hand.

‘I wasn't sure if I was doing something very wrong, something that could end with humiliation and misery.'

Now, she unzipped her jacket and pulled it off. Underneath, the corset was still on but unlaced, dishevelled from the mauling of the night. It was easy to pull her breasts free and let them rest on the top of the bustier, and she let her head fall back, still kneading at her nipples, leaving herself naked and open in full view of Robert.

‘Part of me wanted to cry, I was so scared of what might happen. But at the same time, I was burning up, I was so turned on.'

Now Julia moved her hands down, slid one down the front of her knickers. She felt the heat between her thighs, the swell and the wetness as she slid her fingers between her legs, rubbing with the same slow rhythmic pressure she'd applied to her breasts. As she lost herself in the pleasure of fingering herself she continued to talk to Robert in the same low voice.