City of Sin (21 page)

Bee

I was the last one in the office tonight, as usual. I went
through the document one last time. It was the final proposal for Sword Body
Wash. Mr. Ellington had wanted an added clause in the pitch once he found out
about the possible government shutdown. He wanted to make sure it was as
provocative as possible, and the FCC disbanding would certainly let it be more
provocative. The segment was airing on Tuesday. The government probably
wouldn't shut down by then anyway, so this was a complete waste of my time. But
it didn't matter, because I was done. I pressed send on the document.

I couldn't have been more excited to see Mason. I pulled out
my phone. Earlier I had texted him, asking if he'd rather meet up tomorrow
instead. He was out with his friends. And I had monopolized him for the past
few weeks. But I was hoping he'd say he wanted to spend time with me instead. I
couldn't get enough of him. It was hard to follow Kendra's advice about being
careful when I was feeling like this. Mason said he wanted to be the reason why
I stayed in New York. I think he already was. It was crazy to feel like this
after just a few weeks.
Right?

I looked down at my phone. He had never texted me back. I
couldn't help but be a little disappointed. I had slept at his apartment every
night for the past two weeks. He had a really nice place. But that wasn't the
reason why I always agreed to spend the night. It was nice having someone to
kiss goodnight and wake up next to. It was strange how familiar it seemed, yet
different at the same time. Patrick had never looked at me the way Mason did.
And it wasn't just that I wanted to stay, Mason usually insisted upon it. Like
there was nothing he wanted more than to fall asleep with his arms wrapped
around me. It didn't matter what he said. Or what Kendra liked to warn me
about. Mason was a good guy. And I was falling for him.

Tonight, though, I would go home to my cold apartment alone.
I didn't want to text him again. If he didn't want to see me, I could survive
one night on my own. It was so strange how something could become normal so
quickly. I liked when he met me outside of my office. I liked how he grabbed my
hand and hailed down a taxi for us to share. And even though I had just seen
him this morning, I missed him.

I switched my computer monitor off. I had definitely gotten
used to having something to look forward to after work. I grabbed my jacket.

"Bee."

I smiled and turned around. Mason was standing there smiling
back at me. His hair was a little mussed up and the tie around his neck was
loosened. He looked more relaxed than he usually did. I wasn't sure if it was
because he had been hanging out with his friends or if he had too much to
drink. But he looked so handsome.

He closed the distance between us and leaned down and kissed
me.

"I didn't think you were coming," I said.

He smiled and laid his jacket down on the back of my chair.
"I wasn't going to stand you up. Is there anyone else here?"

"No. I'm the last one. But I'm done now, if you want to
go..."

"I have a better idea." The way he was looking at
me made my heart race. He kissed me again. I could taste the alcohol on his
tongue. His hands drifted from my back to my ass.

"Mason." I put my hand on his chest. "Are you
drunk?"

"No." He moved one of his hands to the side of my
face. "I missed you. And I want you. God, I want you."

"I missed you too." I put my hands behind his neck.
"But we should probably go home."

"Home?" He laughed and kissed the side of my neck.

"I mean, your place or my place. Either one of our
homes. Wherever you want to go."
What is wrong with me?

He kissed the side of my neck and unbuttoned the top button
of my blouse. "I like that you're comfortable at my place. But I don't
want to go home." He unbuttoned another of my buttons.

"Mason, we can't do this."

"You said you were the last one here." He lifted me
up, pulling my thighs around his waist. "We can go home after I make you
come." He pushed the papers on my desk out of the way. "A few
times."

I laughed.

"Bee." He set me down on the edge of my desk.
"You have two choices. Here or the cab." He put his hands on the desk
on either side of me and raised his eyebrow.

I couldn't ever say no to him. I never wanted to. Especially
when he looked at me like that. I grabbed his tie and pulled his face down to
mine.

He quickly unbuttoned the rest of the buttons on my blouse,
while his tongue collided with mine. He pushed up my skirt, tracing his hands
along my bare skin. His fingers were cold, but the feeling of them against my
skin made my whole body feel warm. I wanted him so badly. He slid his hand up
the inside of my thigh.

I immediately put my hand on his erection, which was pressing
through his dress pants.

He pulled back slightly. "In a hurry?"

"I don't want to get caught," I said breathlessly.

"Is that all?" He unhinged his belt and undid his
pants.

I shook my head back and forth. "I've been thinking
about you all day. Or maybe I can't think straight at all because I want you
all the time. Either way." I looked down at his boxers. "There's only
one thing I need right now." When I looked back up at him I gulped. His
Adam's apple rose and fell as he stared down at me.

"Where have you been all my life?" He grabbed both
sides of my face and kissed me hard.

Waiting for you.
When his hands moved back down to my
ass, I put my hands in his hair. Everything about him was hard except for his
hair. I loved how soft his hair was.

His tip pressed against my wetness. He groaned into my mouth
as he slowly entered me. I loved that I could make him feel that way. That I
could please him like this.

He pulled my ass closer to the edge of the desk, thrusting
himself even deeper inside of me.

"Mason!" I slammed my hand down on my desk, hitting
my keyboard. A second later I heard the hum of my computer turning back on.

His fingers were digging into my ass cheeks. "I don't
know what you like more. My cock deep inside of you, or the idea that someone
might catch us with my cock deep inside of you."

I moaned as he spread my thighs even wider. I really didn't
want to get caught. "Faster."

He leaned over me, moving his hips even faster.

"Harder!"

His lips moved back to my neck. "God, I love you."

What did he just say? Does he realize he just said that?

He tilted his hips, hitting that spot that only he could.

"Mason!" I grabbed his tie, pulling his lips back
to my neck.

He pushed the center of my chest, making me fall back onto
the desk. My forearm hit my stapler and it made a clicking noise, sending a
staple into nothing.

Mason leaned over me, putting his hand on the opposite edge
of the desk. He wrapped his other arm around my thigh, pressing it backward,
thrusting himself deeper inside of me.

"Fuck," he murmured after something crashed to the
ground.

I pulled his face back to mine. A second later, I felt the
warmth of him spread up into my stomach. It was my new favorite feeling in the
world. He groaned into my mouth as he found his release.

He didn't need to tell me when to come tonight. I was already
at the tipping point, and him losing control was enough to tip me over the
edge. I was panting when he placed one last kiss against my lips.

His chest slowly rose and fell as he stared down at me. I
tried to search his face. But he didn't look like he had just confessed that he
loved me. He looked like he had when he first came into the office, except even
more relaxed. Maybe he was a little drunk. Or maybe I had imagined him saying
it.

***

I slowly opened my eyes. We were in Mason's bed and my head
was on his chest.
God, I love you.
I knew he said it. I heard him say
it. Maybe he hadn't meant to. But I liked it. I wanted him to say it again.

I lifted my head and stared down at him.
Do I feel the
same way? Do I love him?

I swallowed hard. He didn't do relationships. Kendra had
warned me to be careful, but I had completely ignored her. It was like I had
jumped onto a sled and the hill in front of me was icy. There was no way to
stop. Mason had a way of pulling me into the present. He didn't seem to care
about the past or the future. I wasn't worried when I was with him.

But I still didn't know him that well. I accidently called
his apartment home and he accidentally said he loved me. We hadn't even talked
about whether or not we were exclusive, let alone all of that. He could be
seeing someone else. I tried to dismiss the thought. We had spent every night
of the past couple weeks together. If he was seeing someone else, he wasn't
seeing them very often. And he had said he loved me.
Mason Caldwell loves
me.

What am I doing?
Patrick had used me. As a face for
his work functions. As an idea maybe. I didn't even know anymore. But he had
stopped loving me. I was worried that Mason was using me for a different
reason. For the things that Patrick had paid someone for.

Mason and I did more than have sex, though. He made me laugh.
Like, water coming out of my nose laughing. He made me happy. And that's why I
was scared. I didn't want to lose him. But if he did think women were
expendable, how much time could I possibly have left? I reached up and touched
the side of his face. He had scruff on his face and I liked how it felt rough
against my palm.

He shifted in his sleep and I immediately moved my hand away
from his face.

He yawned and opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw me
staring at him. "I like waking up to you." He grabbed my waist and
pulled me on top of him.

I laughed and put my hands on either side of him on the
mattress. I wanted to talk to him about how I was feeling, but I didn't want to
scare him away.

"Hey," he said and put his hand on the side of my
face. "Is everything okay?" He was so sweet. And it made my stomach
churn even more.

"You don't do relationships."

He sighed and put his hands behind his head. He stared at me
for a second before saying, "I haven't in a long time, no."

"So what does that make me?"

He smiled. "Mine."

I laughed. "Seriously, Mason, what are we doing?"

"Enjoying each other's company."

"Right." I smiled but I felt like crying. Right now
we were enjoying each other's company. And when that changed, we were done.
When he decided I wasn't fun anymore. I liked when he called me his. I liked
the way that sounded way too much.

"Bee, I really like you."

"I really like you too."

He reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my
ear. "Then what's the problem?"

"Are you going to get bored with me?" As soon as I
said it, I regretted it. I sounded so childish. Of course nothing lasted
forever. I knew that better than anyone. I wasn't sure what I even meant with
that question. He'd get bored with me eventually, just like Patrick. I wasn't
enough.

"That's what you're worried about?"

"I've just never done anything like this before."

"Like this?" He raised his eyebrow at me.
"What do you think we're doing?"

I laughed. "I don't know." I put my hand on his
hard chest. I just needed to ask him. "Are you seeing anyone else?"

"No."

"So those clubs..."

"I already told you. I haven't been to one since I've
met you. You give me everything that I need."

Do I give him everything he needs?
How can I, if I
don't know what those places are?
Is it just sex? Is it shows? Is it more
than that? "Can you take me to one?"

"What?" He lowered his eyebrows.

"To one of those places? So I can see it?"

"I'm done, okay? I don't need that anymore. I don't need
the money. I've been approaching everything wrong. I just need a big
client."

"For the ad agency? Or for the..."

"The ad agency."

"Please, Mason. I want to understand."

He frowned. "Do you trust me?"

I searched his face.
Do I?
"I mean...do you still
send people to them? For money?"

"I'm going to stop. Bee, you have to understand..."

"I need to see it. I need to see what Patrick wanted
instead of me. I need to see why you don't do relationships. I need to see
what's so great about this thing that I know nothing about."
I need to
know why I'm never enough.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

I shook my head.

"Fine."

"You'll take me?"

"If that's what you want." He looked pissed. But
the expression on his face was fleeting. His frown faded and he gave me a
playful smile. "Now make me my breakfast, woman." He lightly slapped
my ass.

I laughed and pushed on his chest. "You're the
worst."

"A man can dream. How about I make you waffles
then?" He kissed my cheek.

"Really? You know how to make waffles?"

"Don't sound so surprised." He rolled out of bed
and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms.

I propped my head up on my hand. "Well, after you burned
dinner the other night..."

"If I recall, you distracted me. Honestly, though, don't
get too excited. They're Eggo Waffles. I'm good at using the toaster."

"I knew it."

Mason

"Fuck." I walked into the kitchen and opened up the
freezer. I grabbed the box of waffles, pulled two out, and slammed the door.
What the hell had I just agreed to? I placed the waffles in the toaster and
pressed the button.

My friends had gotten in my head last night. Or maybe I just
had too much to drink. But I told Bee that I loved her. And she didn't react.
She pretended that she didn't hear. Or maybe she hadn't heard me.

Damn it.
I sat down on one of the stools in the
kitchen and ran my hand through my hair. She definitely heard me. She just
didn't feel the same way. Which I already knew. Why would she love me? How
could she?

I looked down at my hands. I was serious when I told her she
was all I needed. But she didn't believe me. If she had, she wouldn't be
insisting on seeing one of those places. And the way she said Patrick's name.
It had looked like she was about to cry. She wanted to know why he was bored in
their relationship. She wanted to see why she wasn't enough for him. And she
had already seemed to have her mind made up that she'd never be enough for
anyone. But that wasn't true. All I wanted was her.

And now I had to take her to one of those fucking clubs. That
would be the icing on the cake. She was clearly looking for a reason to leave.
And what did it matter? I didn't actually love her. I barely knew her. I said
it by mistake. I didn't love anyone. My rationalization wasn't helping. Because
what was really bothering me was that she didn't feel the same about me.

"Shit." My chest hurt again. This was why I didn't
do relationships. I didn't like not having control. I rubbed my chest with my
hand. She deserved better than me. She wasn't the one that didn't have enough to
offer...I was.

I looked up as she walked into the kitchen. She was dressed
in jeans and a tight, long sleeved shirt. Was she already leaving? I didn't
really know what love was. But this might be the closest I'd ever been to it.

"I thought maybe you could take me after
breakfast?" she said. She looked nervous.

"I'm not going to get bored with you." I wasn't
ready for her to go yet. And after I took her, it would be over.

She pressed her lips together. "Please, Mason. I just
want to see it."

I stood up when the waffles popped out of the toaster.
Which
place was the least damning?