Civilized Love (2 page)

She looked confused as he sized her up.
The young girl had grown into a beautiful woman, although he could see that there was some pain hidden behind her beautiful facade.

“Do I know you?” she asked.

“It’s me, William Jacobs” he replied.

“Oh William, of course!” She smiled with fond memory.

“How are you Denny?” he asked.

“I’m good William.
How are you?”

“Good” he smiled.
“Say…where’s Sammy at? I should go say…” suddenly the look in her eyes caught him cold in his tracks.

Tears were in her eyes.
“War got him” she sniffed softly, trying to hold back the tears.

“Oh gees Denny, I am so sorry” William’s sincerity was real.

As he consoled Denny, a big fellow name Bud—who’d been listening nearby—spoke up and said.
“Good, one less nigger!”

“Shut your mouth!” William scolded.
“Not in front of the lady!”

“Lady? I don’t see no lady” he groaned.

“Seriously Bud, cool it.
The war’s over. She’s free.
Move on!”

“She may be free from slavery, but then again, she may be free for a good fuck too, right?”

William was ticked and stood tall quickly, knocking his chair over.
The rise caught the attention of everyone in the restaurant.
“Listen Bud, I am asking you… stop it.
Now!”

“Or what?”

“Or I will be laying some big white Yankee kick
assing
whipping all over your big fat ugly southern one!”

The big man jumped to his feet and immediately stood toe to toe with William.

“Back off!” William insisted, placing Denny behind him.

“You got a big mouth for a fucking yank!” the man said forcefully, shoving William slightly.

William lost his footing and fell back, causing one man to spill his beer.

“Who shoved me?!”

Denny jumped in. “It was an accident…William was shoved…”

“Shut up nigger…” said the beer man.
“I wasn’t asking you.”

“Don’t talk to her like that!” William said.

“You got a big mouth yank!”

“You got a big head!” William replied.

Suddenly, the room erupted with rage.
The men charged William and began to kick and punch him viciously.

“Don’t hurt him!” Denny cried. Then Bud who heard her, turned quickly and slapped a tray of dishes from her hands.
They tumbled noisily to the floor in one big crash.

“Now you’re free to clean up that mess you made!”

Then the men grabbed William and began to drag him into the street.
There they continued to kick and punch him. Until suddenly the Sheriff fired a shot into the air.

“What in the world are you all doing?” he snapped as they turned to look at him.

“This Yankee was causing trouble Sherriff” they said.

“Really?” he replied.
“And it takes 6 men to make him stop?”

“He’s a nigger lover!”

“Listen boys, I’m from the south too.
I don’t much like the changes myself.
But the law is the law, blacks are free and the war is over.
Beating on a Yank won’t change that” he said.
“I suggest you boys return to your activities and leave the Yank alone.”

They didn’t like the idea at all, but agreed reluctantly to return to the
restaurant
.

Now bleeding and sore, William lay on the ground and looked up at the Sherriff. “Thank you” he said weekly.

“Don’t thank me Yank. Had this been five years ago, I’d have let them hang you for treason!”
With that the Sherriff left and returned to his office down the street. Then the sheriff looked at Denny and said “You best get his ass off the street. I can’t babysit him all day…”

“Yes sir…” she said softly.

“Here, let me help you up Master Will” Denny said.
His head was spinning as she helped him to his feet and led him back to his awaiting horse.
After helping him up on the horse, she carefully led the horse back to her tiny home.
It was dark, gloomy, and full of holes.

As she opened the door, William, who was lopped over her shoulder barely, noticed his surroundings before collapsing to the floor.

Immediately the family gathered around him and attended to his wounds carefully.

Rudy, a very stout and strong black woman aided in lifting William’s upper body, while the others helped lead his lower body.
Together they laid him into bed and watched over him until the cold wash cloth shocked him awake.

Though his eyes were dazed, he could scarcely see his company.
Denny stood quietly as her mother changed a bandage on his forehead.

“Don’t look like anything’s broken” said Denny’s mother.
“You’re lucky boy.”

“Thank you Mum” he replied.

“You one of the good guys, I presume.
We called to help you.
It’s the Lord’s way” she explained.

Denny and her mother worked endlessly to help William’s wounds mend quickly. They fed him, what little they had.
They mended his torn clothing and he returned the pleasure by reading to them from the Bible and even attempted to teach them to read.
Reading, you see, had been against the law.

Denny caught on quickly.

“You’re doing amazing!” William said, as she began to read a page from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet.”

“This book is amazing!” she said. “I didn’t know stories like this existed.”

“Oh definitely. Why at Margaret’s, there are so many books, it would astound you!”

“I believe I’d like to see those someday” she said.

The twinkle in her deep dark eyes melted his heart.
He smiled.

“What?” she asked; noticing the look on his face.

“You’re amazing!”

“You mean with the books?”

“Yes…a little. So eager… but its more than that; it’s you.
You’re amazing!”

She blushed, feeling awkward.

“I mean it.
You are kind, sweet, gentle, inquisitive, undoubtably very smart, and insatiably beautiful!”

“What?” she bit her lip nervously.

“You are…”

“I didn’t think a white man would…”

“It has nothing to do with my being white or you being black. Fact is…you are stunning. Inside and out.
Does my being white make you feel different?”

“Well…no.
I can see you are handsome…”

“Thank you…” he smiled. “Looks wouldn’t matter at all if we were all blind.”

“Many are blind to the inside…” she suggested.

“Definitely…”

“I wish things weren’t so ‘black and white’…”

“Perhaps one day that will change…”

“It would be nice…wouldn’t it William?”

“Definitely!”

His rugged good looks made her smile.
Green eyes and light skin were not known to her people as anything more than slave owners.
William, however, was different.

“I don’t know what to say” she said.

“Don’t say anything…” he gently grabbed her face and pulled his lips to hers and gave them a tender kiss.

She reciprocated the kiss, but replied “Careful…what will people think?”

“I don’t care what people think. Never have!”

“That’s true” she snickered.
Then she looked at his scar and stroked it gently.
“You got this for my freedom…”

“I know there are many roads ahead yet, but we fight for what’s right.
No matter what the cost!”

“Like freedom, right?”

“And love…”

She got quiet.
She’d had feeling for him for a while now, but slapped herself for liking a white man.
‘It won’t work’, she told herself. She gulped. She didn’t say anything more, but when he grabber he shoulder and pulled her head until it touched his chest, she felt oddly ‘at home’.

They lied quietly and said nothing.
He loved the way she smelled.
Her fragrance was sweet and pure. Her skin was soft and supple. She listened to the beat of his heart and her own melted within. Her finger tips strolled gently over the scar on his shoulder and then gently kissed it.

#

“Thinking about her again, aren’t you?” asked Margo, as she stepped out upon the porch.

He silently nodded.

Margaret sat down beside him and said “Love does not have a color William.”

“I know that, but this town would never accept us” he said.
“They barely tolerate us now.”

“Where love exists, there has to be a way” she said.

“I don’t know Aunty Marg.
I just don’t know” he sighed.

“You love her, don’t you?”

He sighed earnestly, “Yes…I do.”

“Then there will be a way!” she said.
“You wait and see.”
She smiled as she walked back inside to finish making supper.

He continued to sit and think as he recognized a figure approaching the front gate.
She was dressed as pretty as a picture.
Her dress was old, but it has been altered to fit her fine figure.
Her jet black hair had been slicked and curled into ringlets.

“Denny!” he exclaimed.

“Hi William,” she replied.
“I know I am taking a big chance being here, but I couldn’t stay away one moment longer.
I know I am crazy to feel anything for you.
You’re white, I’m a slave…”

“You’re free!” he declared.

“Only by law, but I am still in chains here” she declared. “Free to do what? Okay so we aren’t owned, but we still get treated like outcasts.
Surely a black woman would be stoned for even looking at a white man inappropriately.
They hung a black man only a year ago for making love to a white woman! She loved him…but her father didn’t care. He was hung without trial!”

He knew it was true.

“I have to get out of here!” she said.
“I want to be where I can enjoy being free!”

“What do you mean?”

“North.
I need to go north to a place that recognizes me as a woman, not a freed slave” she said.

He sat quietly.

“But I won’t go…if….” She seemed uneasy.

“If what?”

“Oh William, I know I am crazy to ask this.
It’s not proper…”

“Ask what?”

She fumbled on her thoughts and looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“I might be crazy…but I think I’m in love with you.
Oh that does sound crazy” she rambled.
“I…I…If you tell me you don’t love me or that I am mad and crazy, then I will just go and let you be. But if you feel the same for me…” her body began to quiver as she struggled with her words and emotion.

William smiled and approached her slowly.

She looked like a terrified child.
Her eyes were full of compressed tears as she composed what little dignity she had left. “I’m sorry William; it was silly for me to say…”

He gently placed his finger upon her lips “Shhh…” he said.
“You don’t have to say another word.”

She stood agonizing over what he would say next.

“I love you too” he said.

“We can’t be together though, can we?”

“Not here” he sighed.
“Maybe a change would do us well…”

“How will we do it?
Where will we go?”

“I imagine a city; like Chicago or New York would be best… though I imagine a black man and white woman would still be odd” he confessed.

“Well, we can at least try, right?”

“We can” he agreed.

“We don’t have much, but we’ll make it right?”

He smiled and hugged her, wanting to say ‘Yes’, but knowing it would be tough.
Since his father had declared him dead, the inheritance was gone.
There was nothing for him; nothing but his horse and bare essentials.

Margaret had been listening at the door.
She smiled as she thought.
“Oh hi Denny” she said as she exited the door.