Claiming the Vampire (14 page)

There was a flash of light, and Hawk gave a grunt of pain as he reared back in surprise.

Jessica sat up, bewildered by the flash. She blinked and looked down at herself, and with a cold shock saw the silver bag that Kel had given her, hanging on its silver chain.

It all came back in a rushing torrent. Everything she’d tried to forget.

Oh, God.

What was she doing? What the hell was she doing?

 “What is that thing?” Hawk asked. “Are you all right?”

She couldn’t answer him. As she stared down at the portal stone she felt dazed and numb and nauseous.

What was wrong with her? She was acting like an animal—like someone who had no control over her own desires.

She’d been upset because of what Hawk had told her. But that was no excuse for the way she’d behaved. She was a coward—a selfish coward. And she’d been using Hawk to forget. To drive out thought with feeling.

She grabbed the shirt she’d just taken off and pulled it over her head again. Then she zipped her jeans with shaking hands.

She couldn’t meet Hawk’s eyes as he took her shoulders. “Jess. Tell me what’s going on.”

The patient gentleness in his voice almost undid her. She couldn’t blame this on him. He wasn’t using her—she’d used him. She’d used him like a drug, trying to drown herself in the pleasure he gave her.

She’d put desire ahead of duty.

What he’d told her about her mother was horrifying, but instead of dealing with it like an adult she’d run from the knowledge like a child.

Even if what Hawk had told her was true—and every instinct she possessed told her it was—that didn’t mean she could abandon her engagement to Kel. She’d made him a promise, and she owed a duty to her people. Her engagement to the Dark Fae prince had made peace between their realms. Learning that her mother was a traitor to her own people didn’t change that.

“Jess. You have to talk to me. What the hell just happened?”

She still couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes.

“What you must think of me,” she whispered.

He cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her head up gently but firmly. “What are you talking about?”

It would be so easy to drown in those night-black eyes. “I used you,” she said in a trembling voice.

One corner of his mouth twisted up. “Yeah? Well, I think I survived the experience.”

Her eyes slid away from his again. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.”

He gave her a quick, hard shake. “Stop doing that.”

She glanced back at him in confusion. “Stop doing what?”

“Shaming yourself. I can feel it coursing through you. And that’s bullshit, Jess. There’s no shame in following your heart. In listening to your body.”

She could feel her lips quivering. “I don’t believe that. I don’t believe you can set aside duty and principle for…for…”

“For love?”

Her muscles stiffened. “Don’t say that. I might be inexperienced but I’m not naïve. I know that love doesn’t have anything to do with what just happened between us.”

His eyes gleamed in the darkness. “That’s where you’re wrong. Love has everything to do with it. Love is the reason I asked you to meet me tonight. The reason I told you what I did, even though I knew I might be putting my sister in greater jeopardy.”

He slid both hands into her hair as he looked down at her, stroking her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. “I’m in love with you, Jess. So let me help you. Let me stand by you. We can figure all this out together.”

She was terrified by the thrill of joy that pulsed through her at his words. She was terrified at how much she wanted to lean into his caress—to lean on
him
.

Instead she wrenched herself away, pressing her palm over the silver bag that was hidden once again beneath her shirt. The feel of it was a reminder of the promises she’d already made. Promises she couldn’t break.

Hawk sighed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Will you at least tell me what that thing is?”

“It’s an engagement gift. From the man I’m going to marry.”

The change was instantaneous. One second he looked calm, almost resigned, his hands in his pockets and his posture relaxed. The next he was pure demon, eyes yellow and fangs bared and a low growl making her hair stand on end. When he took her shoulders this time there was nothing gentle about it.

“You’re not going to marry him.”

She forced herself not to soften, not to surrender, even though some traitorous instinct made her knees weak. “Yes, I am. Because duty comes before…” She swallowed. “Before this. And it should for you, too. You shouldn’t have come to me tonight if you thought it might hurt your sister.”

His hands tightened. “It could only hurt my sister if you weren’t worthy of trust. But you are worthy.”

“You’re right,” she said softly. “I am. My people can count on me, and so can you. I promise that if my mother doesn’t honor her bargain, I’ll find Mary for you. Once I’m married, once I’m living in the Dark Fae realm, I’ll be able to—”

“No! Goddam it, why are you so determined to be a sacrifice? We can rescue Mary without—”

“There’s no
we
, Hawk.”

For one instant, his black eyes lasered into hers. Then he fell on her like his namesake on a mouse, jerking her hard against him and covering her mouth with his.

Darkness. Heat. Desire. Jessica couldn’t stop her arms from sliding around his neck, couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped her.

After an eternity he pulled back. “Tell me there’s no
we
. Tell me you don’t feel anything for me.”

She was panting, disoriented. She hung on to rationality by a thread. “Even if…even if I do…it doesn’t change anything.”

“It changes everything.” And then he was kissing her again, backing her up against a tree and lifting her off her feet, thrusting one of his legs between hers so she rode his thigh helplessly, every move she made increasing the friction between them until her body ached and throbbed.

It took every ounce of strength to tear her mouth from his. “Stop. Please, Hawk—”

“You can’t marry him,” he said roughly. “Don’t you see? Knowing the truth about your mother casts everything she’s done into doubt. You can’t trust any deal she’s made, and especially not with the Dark Fae. She’ll do anything to maintain her power. She’ll sacrifice anything, including you. Going to the Dark Fae realm could mean going to your death. You don’t know anything except what Talia’s told you, and you can’t trust a word she says.”

Her body was balanced on his hard thigh, forcing her to clutch at his shoulders. The ruthless pressure between her legs was unbearable, arousing, agonizing.

“Please let me go,” she whispered.

A beat went by, and then another. And then Hawk pulled back so that she could slide down to the ground, supporting her own weight again.

She ran shaking hands through her hair as she tried to think. Hawk was right about one thing—she couldn’t trust anything her mother had said. But that didn’t mean that Prince Kel couldn’t be trusted.

The truth was, she didn’t know.

And then something occurred to her.

She had a way to find out.

If she went to the Dark Fae realm herself, she could find out what she needed to know. She could see Kel in his own land—and Queen Navril, too. She could test their sincerity for herself.

And she could look for Hawk’s sister, find out if she were truly a prisoner there—and why. And if she couldn’t negotiate for Mary’s release, she would find a way to rescue her.

Her hand went to the stone at her breast, and Hawk seized her wrist. “You can’t marry him,” he said, and his voice was a command.

She took a deep breath. “Maybe I do have feelings for you,” she said, glad that her voice only shook a little. “But I can’t substitute your judgment for mine. And you’re right about my mother—I can’t trust her judgment, either. Not until I know what her agenda is.” She jerked her hand out of Hawk’s grasp and took a step back. “I have to trust myself, Hawk. I have to figure out what’s right. One thing I promise you—if Mary’s there, I won’t leave her behind.”

Hawk frowned. “What do mean, you won’t leave her behind? What are you—”

She couldn’t delay. Now that she’d decided what she needed to do, she couldn’t stay here any longer. If she was going to figure all this out she needed her wits about her, and Hawk had already proven that she couldn’t think straight around him. Every second she looked at him weakened her resolve.

She stepped forward suddenly and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she pressed her body against his.

He kissed her back with fierce hunger, his hands everywhere and his mouth plundering hers. Long before she was ready to she broke the kiss, backing away again to a safe distance.

“Thank you for trusting me. For telling me what you did. I promise you won’t regret it.”

His eyes were dark with passion but his expression was wary. “Why would I—”

“Goodbye, Hawk.”

Before she could talk herself out of it, she pulled Kel’s gift from her shirt and opened the silver bag.

She touched the stone inside it, and then she was gone.

Chapter Nine

It took a split second for Hawk to realize what had happened—and how impossible it was to follow where she’d gone.

She was beyond his reach. Alone in another dimension with no one to protect her.

Rage and fear rose inside him. He slammed his fist against the tree trunk, and as blood dripped down his arm he let out an animal howl. Again, and again, until someone tackled him from behind and slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Will you shut the fuck
up
? In case you’ve forgotten, mate, we vamps like to keep a low profile when it comes to attracting human attention. Now you’ve got everyone in this neighborhood calling 911 about wild animals or God knows what.”

It was Evan. Hawk tried to speak, but the other vampire tightened his grip. “Are you going to do more of that bloody howling?”

He shook his head, and Evan withdrew his hand and backed off.

“How did you find me?” Hawk panted.

“I was looking for you. The others are back at the club, waiting for me to bring you and Jessica back. But I take it she’s not with you. What the hell happened?”

“She’s gone.”

“Gone? Gone where?”

“The Dark Fae realm.”

Evan stared at him. “What?”

Fear clawed at him, and blind fury at his helplessness was making him shake. “We’ve got to get her back. There has to be a way. He gave her something…a talisman that acted as a portal. She took that with her, but there has to be a way to—”

Evan held up his hands. “I shouldn’t have asked you, not yet. Let’s get back to the club where you can tell all of us. That way you won’t have to go through it all again.”

Hawk took a deep, unneeded breath. Jessica’s scent still hung in the air.

He’d never felt this close to madness. “Will you help me get her back?”

Evan sighed. “If it’s possible. I’ve been where you are, Hawk. These Fae women…once they’re in your blood you can’t get them out. It’s bloody pathetic, but there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. But let’s get back to the others, yeah? There’s strength in numbers. We’ll figure this out.”

* * *

An hour later, Hawk had gone through the whole story, only leaving out the details of what had happened between him and Jess in the park. Liz Marlowe, Jack Morgan’s mate and a Green Fae warrior like Jessica, was pacing back and forth across the floor of Evan’s study.

“We know there are portals between the worlds, but we don’t know where they are. There will be a demon outbreak somewhere, like the one in the Canadian Rockies, but whenever we’ve tried to locate the portal so we can try to seal it up, we’ve failed. Our theory has always been that they’re temporary, or else constantly moving. And we’ve only known for a few months that the demons were coming here from the Dark Realm. Before we had time to use that information in our effort to locate portals, Talia made contact with the Dark Fae queen and they worked out their truce.” Her eyes flicked to Hawk and then Celia. “I still can’t believe that Talia…that our queen…” she trailed off.

Celia shrugged, but it was obvious from her pale, strained face that the news of her queen’s betrayal had hit her hard. “At least I know it wasn’t personal,” she said drily. “She called off the hit as soon as I was no longer a threat.”

“Yeah, that’s a comfort,” Evan said. He was sitting on one of his leather wing chairs with Celia perched on the arm, and now he pulled her into his lap. “I’d take it as a real favor if whatever plan we come up with includes killing that bitch.”

He hugged his mate close, stroking her hair protectively. Hawk stared at them, but it was Jessica he was thinking of.

He should have claimed her as his mate.

He could have done it, could have persuaded her, in those heated moments when she was lost in desire.

If he’d done that, she wouldn’t have left him. She wouldn’t have tried to solve all these problems by herself. She would have let him protect her.

His eyes strayed to Liz and Jack. Liz was still pacing, saying something in answer to a question Celia had asked, while Jack leaned against a bookcase with his arms folded.

Those two had a different dynamic than Evan and Celia. Liz was like a barely contained storm system, constantly moving, her eyes flashing as she talked with her hands. Her mate, on the other hand, was calm and still, like a panther at rest. The eye of the storm.

But even though they weren’t physically touching, the connection between them was as palpable as the one between Evan and Celia.

Hawk had always felt vaguely contemptuous of mated vampires. With a bond that intense, you could no longer call your soul your own. Why would anyone choose to shackle themselves like that?

 After more than a century of freedom, he never thought he’d feel any differently. But now, freedom seemed an empty thing. He thought of the way Jessica had come apart in his arms, and all he wanted was to love and protect for her for the rest of his existence. It was agony not to be near her, like she’d taken a part of him with her when she left.