Claire's Prayer (9 page)

Glad that the giraffe, the fishing and the peace could show Claire some of Impunzi’s beauty, Seth gathered up the fishing gear an hour later, packing the fish into the icebox stowed in the Land Rover’s boot. They’d caught another five bream, although none as big as Claire’s first haul. Contentedly, they settled back and Seth reversed away from the dam. Stopping in front of her lodge on the way to the house, he turned to her – still friendly, but somehow now distant.

“There you are then, Claire. I have a few things to see to, so I’ll see you later. Okay?” Then, with a wave but without waiting for an answer, he drove off.

Seth immediately regretted leaving Claire so abruptly, but the intense feelings she aroused in him were very unsettling. Sitting so quietly and casually with Claire at the dam had been particularly odd: being with her like that had felt… natural. Like home. He didn’t know how to handle such unfamiliar feelings, and so he did what he always did when things got too intense: he left.

Feeling suddenly lonely, Claire entered the lodge. It had been cleaned, and the clothes she’d left in the laundry hamper were washed and ironed. She looked at her watch and saw with surprise that she had at least an hour until lunch. So much had happened that morning, and in no time at all.
Time to work
, Claire thought. Settling down in front of the open window, Claire fed a piece of paper into her typewriter, gathering her thoughts to concentrate on Squeak the squirrel.

An hour later, hearing a soft knock on the door, Claire sighed in satisfaction. She had just to touch up the illustrations of the last book on Squeak, and then she could mail it to her publisher. With perfect timing, Joseph stood outside, bearing a tray dotted with covered dishes. Only now realising her hunger, Claire delighted the old man by clapping her hands together rapidly. Seth had told her that in the Zimbabwean custom this was saying ‘thankyou’.

Claire stood irresolute for a minute once Joseph had retreated back to the house, and then carried the tray outside. She had decided to eat under the mopane trees, where benches and tables had been built under the shady canopy. As Claire lifted the lids off the steaming dishes, the familiar chattering of the curious monkeys filled the silence. Out of nowhere, the tree under which she sat was invaded by a noisy, inquisitive troop of the animals. Breaking her bread roll into small pieces, she tossed the crumbs a few feet away. She watched in amusement as the naughty creatures dashed forward and grabbed the bread, then darted back up the tree. Claire had had an idea.

Moving her typewriter, sketch pad and notes to the outside table, she worked the afternoon away. Examining her illustrations, she noticed they somehow projected more meaning and feeling than before. Working outside had been a revelation; somehow, as she had hoped, the atmosphere of her surroundings was working its way into her work. She had felt so inspired that she had not only completed the tweaks she’d wanted to make to Squeak, but also begun sketches and the outlines for a new plot. Mr Donovan would be very happy with the set, she knew with quiet certainty. As the sun finally sank low in the sky, tinting it with fantastic hues of gently-burnt oranges, streaky pinks and golden tones of yellow, Claire packaged the finished manuscripts securely.

After taking her work materials back inside, she made her way to the main house. She wondered if Seth was back, and how his afternoon had been. Then, silently reprimanding herself, she also wondered how Naomi had spent her day. Just about to turn the front door’s handle, her hand dropped lamely as it was opened from the inside. Seth came to a stop, his eyes taking in her flowered skirt and soft sweater appraisingly.

“Oh, Claire – I was just on my way to collect you,” he chided.

“Oh, Seth,” Claire mimicked, smiling. “Thanks, but I am quite capable of walking unaided.” Softening her reproof with a wider grin, she slid past him into the house.

Dinner was scrumptious – Seth had been right; the fishcakes Joseph had made with their fresh bream had been heavenly. All awkwardness forgotten, the conversation flowed freely. Naomi informed Seth that she’d telephoned everyone on the guest list for her braai, and only a few couldn’t make it to the barbeque. Seth muttered about too much fuss being made and, grinning wickedly, Naomi stretched across the table and poked him in the ribs playfully.

“Oh, come on, big brother. Don’t be antisocial! You know I don’t need much of an excuse to get everyone together for a good party. It gives me a chance to keep up to date with all the news. I spent the whole morning catching up on all of the paperwork, so now it’s time for some social fun.” Naomi smiled to herself in satisfaction as she recalled the hour she had snatched at lunchtime and spent talking to Tony. It wasn’t often that they were alone, and she treasured every minute. After voicing her fears to Claire, she’d allowed herself to start believing that maybe – just maybe – her doubts were unfounded.

Seth grunted and continued to eat. “I suppose you’ll need some ranch hands to help around the place then?”

“Yes please,” Naomi said sweetly. Ignoring Seth’s disinterest, Naomi passed the rest of the meal pleasantly, sharing her plans for the forthcoming braai with Claire.

Later, Tony and Naomi walked Claire back to the lodge. They seemed somehow more in tune than usual. Claire really admired the casual intimacy they had; she felt immediately at ease, rather than an imposition, when she was alone with them. She’d have to talk to Naomi more about how they managed it, Claire told herself. At this stage she could do with all the insight she could get.

Once inside the lodge alone, Claire harboured for a moment a flickering wish that she and Seth could dive headlong into the easy closeness that bound Naomi and Tony… but quickly extinguished it. She knew that her and Seth’s ideas of what togetherness would mean were planets apart. To her, the natural progression for a relationship was determined by her parents’: they’d become engaged as soon as they’d realised they were right for one another, and had a wonderful marriage; they’d stayed together for twenty-five years.
I want that too
, she thought sadly,
not a fleeting, casual encounter that would mean less than nothing… at least to one of us.
In Claire’s eyes, sex was something sacred that happened between a husband and wife – there was nothing casual or cheap about it. Sighing heavily, she stopped her train of thought. She didn’t need to start thinking seriously about relationships – not now.

She settled down with a Danielle Steel novel – ‘The Promise’ – not feeling ready for bed yet. Within an hour she was totally engrossed in the sad love story. Stopping only to make a pot of tea and change, she continued reading in bed. Eventually, eyes drowsy, Claire glanced at the bedside clock and was shocked to see that it was already half-past one. Snuggling quickly under the covers still clutching the paperback, she felt an undeniable affinity to the young artist heroine, separated from her love by their differences… Saying her prayers, she finally fell asleep.

Claire woke up late, and eventually jogged up the path about fifteen minutes after the gong had sounded for breakfast. Seth, Tony and Naomi were already eating.

“Sorry I’m late,” she gasped, out of breath.

Naomi accepted her apology with a sleepy smile, but Seth only silently studied her, taking in her tan trousers and long-sleeved t-shirt, his eyes lingering a little too long.

“I saw your light on until late,” he said eventually. “Were you working?”

Eyeing him curiously, Claire wondered why he would notice what time her lights went out. “No,” she answered; “I got involved in a novel and didn’t notice how late it was.” She sat down and ate with gusto.

After breakfast, looking much chirpier, Naomi issued an invitation. “Claire, I have to go into town for some supplies for tomorrow. Would you like to come shopping? Or are you keen for more giraffe?”

Claire accepted the invitation, feeling that variety (
of both sights and company
, she thought) would be best for her. Jogging back to the lodge, she collected her handbag. On their drive fifteen minutes later, Naomi chatted happily about the braai, describing the people who would be coming. She had just finished rattling off some gossip about a cousin when, casting Claire a sly grin, she added, “…and, of course, there’s Carol, too. When I invited Simon – he’s her father – I didn’t realise she’d be back from America. But I dare say Seth’s mentioned her already.” Leaving the leading statement hanging, Naomi hummed to herself, waiting for Claire to take the bait.
It was almost too easy
, Naomi thought as she watched Claire’s face out of the corner of her eye,
to fish for details like this.

Claire resisted for as long as she could, then caught Naomi’s eye. She grinned self-consciously, sighed in defeat and finally asked, resignedly, “Go on then – who is this Carol?”

Flashing her a knowing look, which Claire chose pointedly to ignore, Naomi smiled and answered. “Oh, Carol – she and Seth have been going out, on and off, for about a year now. At one time it seemed to be getting quite serious, but… Well, I don’t know about now. Seth didn’t seem too interested when I mentioned she was back and would be coming. But then with him you just never know. Seth always backs off when things get too intense with the women he dates.”

Leaving Claire to ponder this new morsel of information, Naomi watched her covertly, noting the confused, unhappy look on her face. Now she could see what effect her information was having on Claire, despite her poker face, Naomi felt bad for breaking the news so tactlessly – although she had tried to soften the blow.
I guess there’s no mystery left there
, she told herself with a morsel of wry satisfaction.
I just hope Seth knows what he’s doing.
She had not meant to upset Claire, but she had eyes in her head. She would have to be blind not to have noticed how Seth watched Claire and how Claire’s eyes followed his every move.
Yes
, she thought,
this braai could prove to be most interesting indeed.

Once in town, Naomi pointed out the stationary shop and the post office that Claire was seeking, and left Claire to get on with her own shopping while she trawled the supermarket. Claire felt quite happy, even keen, to go off on her own, agreeing to meet Naomi at a coffee shop in a couple of hours. Joining the queue at the bank, she cashed in some traveller’s cheques. Probably too many, she reflected later: at lunchtime, laden with carrier bags, Claire took a seat in the café Naomi had chosen. Ordering tea and a salad from the smiling, smartly-dressed waiter, she sat quietly observing the people who came and went. Hwange was a small town but, she had discovered, everything was readily available. At the local book store, she’d stocked up on postcards and a birthday card for Naomi, as well as picking out a new romance to devour after ‘The Promise’. In the chemist, she’d bought a set of toiletries, hoping that it was an appropriate birthday gift. Then, she’d happened across a beautiful little shop brimming with art supplies, and really spoiled herself.

Just as the waiter returned with her cup and pot, Naomi bustled into the coffee shop and hurriedly ordered the same for herself.

Noticing all of Claire’s shopping bags, Naomi commented, “You’re a shopaholic too, I see! It drives Seth crazy when he has to wait for me in town. I love to linger in a shop and look at everything even if I don’t end up buying a single thing.”

Claire laughingly agreed. “Yes – men don’t get the shopping thing, do they? My dad used to drop mam and me off and we’d spend a whole day at it. He refused to join in our ‘madness’ as he called it… although it’s been a while, until now, since I’ve really enjoyed it. I’m easing myself back in!”

After a last stop at the butcher’s they were on their way back to Impunzi. To the strains of Englebert Humperdink, the trip back was accomplished in record time. The closer they came to the ranch, though, the more clearly Naomi seemed distracted. It was particularly noticeable, Claire acknowledged, simply because the older girl usually talked so freely. Realising that she was probably preoccupied with the braai preparations, Claire thanked Naomi for the morning and returned to the lodge.

During the drive, Naomi’s mind had roamed back to the times she and her mom had spent hours at the mall together, too, always ending the day with a meal together before driving back to the ranch. It seemed such an odd thing to miss… but they were such special, bittersweet memories now. Naomi’s heart still ached for one more moment with her mom.

Claire, in her moment of sympathy for the usually extroverted brunette, had had an idea for a far more personal gift. She’d decided to use some of her new purchases to paint a watercolour of the ranch house, as seen from the lodge. The painting and toiletries would make an ideal gift for Naomi. The light was particularly good that afternoon, and Claire worked steadily. As the sun dipped, she surveyed her progress: yes, she was very well satisfied with the poster-sized painting she’d created. She’d had a clear view of the kopje and the house, and had even caught the beginnings of the sunset. In the bottom-right corner she wrote, ‘To Naomi from Claire, with love.’ Pleased with the overall effect, Claire carried the completed article into the lodge and hid it behind the bedroom door. Having a quick shower, she made her way to the main house.

Seth met her half way, and she realised with an irritating pang that she had missed him. Greeting him quietly, her eyes drank in the now familiar sight of him. Seth turned, and the two of them walked the rest of the way to the house. Claire took pleasure in sharing the happenings of her day with him.
He was a good listener
, she thought.

Seth was silent because he wasn’t really sure how to act any more. When he saw Claire, he felt a melting sensation in his chest. Gone was the animal fire and possessive instinct he’d felt at first – or mostly gone. He’d never got further than that with other women. He’d never met anyone like Claire before: she was lovely, independent and stubborn; a dream and a nightmare; and totally, completely feminine.

Even though Joseph had surpassed himself, despite being rushed off his feet preparing for the braai, neither Seth nor Claire took in much at dinner that evening. Naomi, still distracted, didn’t press them for conversation. Afterwards, Seth walked Claire back to the lodge again. The moon hung low in the inky sky, and the sound of the crickets blended beautifully with the soft breeze of the night. Coming to a stop outside the lodge door, Seth felt reluctant to leave. Giving in to a strong impulse, he reached up and gently cupped her chin. Their eyes met and held for endless seconds. Claire felt like a deer caught in floodlights.