Clarity of Lines (4 page)

Cooper’s hazel eyes scanned over my face. “And it’s sexy as fuck,” he said gruffly.

“Come on,” I said, choosing to ignore his comment and dragging him towards the door. “If you keep looking at me like that, we’ll need to lock this bedroom door.”

He laughed down the stairs. “I’m not opposed to that idea.”

No, he never was.

* * * *

We swam in the pool for a while, and I caught Sofia watching us several times. I wondered if Cooper was right—whether Sofia did want me back. I mean, it had been five years. She’d dated other men, though none of them seriously.

Not that it mattered. I mean, it would be unfortunate for her, but I was
gay
and I’d never been happier than I was with Cooper.

He splashed me in the pool then wrapped his arms around me, not caring who saw. “I think we’re out of time for that little lie down we were going to have,” he said with a smile. “So you’ll have to make it up to me tonight. I might be drunk later on, but you have my full consent to have your way with me.”

I laughed, but then Sofia called out from inside the house. “Tom? I need you and Ryan to move some tables for me.”

Cooper smiled knowingly. “She does know you’re not married anymore, yes?”

I kissed him, slow and open-mouthed, knowing Sofia could see. I pulled his bottom lip in between my lips, making him smile. “Yeah, I think she knows,” I told him. “Now we need to get out of this pool before we get too carried away.”

So Cooper spent the next hour or so playing video games with Ryan while I moved tables and chairs, as per Sofia’s instructions.

And it wasn’t long after that, that the first cars of Ryan’s friends started to arrive. Then the caterers turned up along with the wait-staff, so I told Cooper I was ducking upstairs to shower and change into something a little more appropriate. Of course he joined me, so it was maybe an hour later that we made it back downstairs.

There was quite a crowd gathered, a few faces I recognised, a lot I didn’t. Cooper was right by my side when I stopped dead at some unexpected familiar faces.

Fuck.

My parents.

Chapter Five

“Oh, Tom,” my mother said warmly. She kissed my cheek. “So good to see you.”

My father offered a handshake in greeting. “Son.”

“Mom, Dad, I didn’t know you’d be here,” I said, unable to hide my surprise.

“Oh,” my mother said, “Sofia called us and asked us to come over.”

Of course she had.

My parents didn’t live too far from the Casa so it wasn’t too unreasonable that they be there. But still…they were my parents to invite, not hers.

I turned to Cooper and whispered, “My parents. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

But he never missed a beat. He said a polite hello to them as though he was interrupting so he could ask me where Ryan was. There was a loud peal of laughter outside, to which Cooper looked. “Never mind, found him,” he said, and he disappeared outside.

I sat with them a while. They told me it was so nice of me to come and spend time with Sofia. My mom told me she’d always hoped we’d reconcile then she smiled and patted my hand.

Sofia was there. She saw it. And she saw how much I fucking hated it. If she thought for one deluded moment that this was some cruel trick to make me see how happy it would make my parents, then the look on my face must have set her fucking straight.

Thankfully my parents were oblivious to me glaring at my ex-wife and equally oblivious to how I looked for Cooper through the glass doors.

Sofia didn’t miss that either.

My parents spent a quick ten minutes with Ryan, but wanted to leave before the crowd got drunk and loud. I saw them out, walking them to their car, and told them I’d be in touch. I promised to call them during the week, and I would.

But as soon as they were heading down the drive, I went inside in search of Cooper. I found him through the crowd, drinking and laughing with some of his friends. I wasn’t sure if I should walk up to him, or just try to catch his eye. I didn’t know what his friends knew, or what they thought.

But he looked around and when he saw me, he smiled and called me over. “Have they gone?” he said in front of his friends.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry,” I told him. “I had no idea.”

He slipped his arm around my waist, in front of his friends, in front of everyone. “It’s okay,” he said with a smile. Then he introduced me to his friends—who all
knew
I was Ryan’s father—as his boyfriend.

They were all a little wide-eyed, but Cooper didn’t seem to care. He squeezed my waist reassuringly and smiled, just as Ryan walked over to my other side and put his arm around my shoulder.

The four pairs of wide eyes in front of us then landed on Ryan, who simply raised his beer bottle at them. “Yep, I know they’re dating,” he said, then tapped his bottle to the closest guy. “I’m on empty, your turn to get the birthday boy a beer, asswad.”

And that was the end of that conversation.

By the quiet whispers and people looking at us, it didn’t take long for the word to pass around the party crowd that Cooper and I were together. The fact we stood there with his arm around my waist kind of confirmed it. He was so open, so out and proud, so blasé to what others thought. And even though he was half my age, he was twice as brave as me. I stood by his side with his arm around me as he chatted with his friends, amazed by his confidence and the conviction of who he was.

As the night got later and as the music got louder, the more they drank, the more inclined I was to let him have a night with his friends. He was laughing and talking about college and people they knew, and every time I dropped my arm from around his waist to leave him to it, he’d tighten his hold on me.

So I stayed.

At least I avoided Sofia for the rest of the night. And at two in the morning, I helped carry a very-drunk Cooper up the stairs and put him to bed. He was a very giggly, hug-everyone kind of drunk, and when I finally got him undressed and in bed, he was all smiles and slurred words I couldn’t make out. It was kind of cute.

His snoring wasn’t so likeable.

Needless to say, I was up long before any of the bodies strewn across the house, so I decided to make a start on cleaning up. I had a few trash bags full of bottles and cans by the time Sofia ventured out. I still avoided her. I was still too mad at her, and she seemed equally pleased to avoid me.

But one by one the party-goers woke up, drank coffee and went on their way. I fed both Cooper and Ryan coffee and greasy bacon rolls until they felt better, and by mid-morning they decided a cool swim would help with their hangovers.

Unfortunately it left me alone with Sofia.

“I think we need some coffee,” she said, walking to the coffee machine. “Want a cup?”

“Sure,” I told her. “Why not.”

She poured two coffees, handed me one and stood leaning against the kitchen counter. She was quiet for a while, so I asked her about her sisters and told her I liked the new pieces of furniture I’d seen around the Casa. She asked how my work was going, how Jennifer was and we talked about mutual friends.

Then she said, “I’m sorry about asking your parents to come last night.” She even had the decency to look it.

“You should be, Sofia. I’m sorry to say it like that, but it wasn’t your place to invite my parents.”

“I thought they’d like to see Ryan for his birthday.”

“And you thought you’d like to show Cooper that my parents don’t know what he is to me.”

“That’s not what I meant to do.”

“Yes, it is.”

Conversation had never been a problem for us, though now it was very strained. There was a very obvious elephant in the room.

Well, the metaphorical elephant who was taking a swim with Ryan.

It was obvious she wanted to say something about him, but she wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Then there was a burst of laughter from the pool, Cooper’s laughter, and it made me smile.

“You seem genuinely taken with him.”

“I am.”

“How did you meet?” she asked me quietly. “I mean, this time. How did you meet…again.”

“Through Ryan initially,” I told her. “But then he had an internship at the office. That’s where I got to know him.”

“You worked with him?”

“Yes.”

“But he doesn’t work with you now?”

“No, he works for Arlington. He fits in better there. They’re young and innovative.”

“And Brackett and Golding are an old prestigious classic,” she said. “How ironic.”

I ignored the jibe.

“He’s really very talented,” I told her. “He’ll go a long way.”

Sofia nodded. “He will if he stays with you,” she said. “Riding on the coattails of the great Thomas Elkin will get him anywhere.”

I put my coffee on the counter with a clunk, probably a little louder than I intended to. I tried to keep my voice down. “It’s not like that. That’s the very reason I told him to work somewhere else, so he wouldn’t be associated with me professionally. He’ll go far because he’s talented, Sofia, not because of who he’s with.”

“Tom, forgive me for not understanding the connection between you,” she said with hard eyes. “But have you thought of the possibility he could be after your money?”

Anger swelled in my chest, but I tampered it down. She was acting all concerned, but really she wanted to make me angry. She wanted to get a reaction out of me, so I refused to give her one.

“He’s not after money, Sofia, and I find it offensive that you imply he is,” I said as calmly as I could manage.

“How do you know, Tom?”

“I know he’s not after my money because I asked him to move in with me, and he said no.”

She stared at me for a long moment. “You asked him to move in with you?”

“Yes,” I said with a smile of satisfaction. “And he turned me down.”

“Well, at least one of you is thinking clearly.”

“Oh, give it up, Sofia,” I said, turning to walk out.

“You give it up Tom,” she said, stopping me. “It’s embarrassing. You’re making a fool of yourself.”

“I don’t care, Sofia,” I told her. “I don’t care what you think, or what anyone else thinks. I care what Cooper thinks.”

“I don’t get it,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t understand what you could possibly have in common. He’s half your age!”

“You
wouldn’t
understand, Sofia,” I said, probably too loudly. “He understands me. He
gets
me. The age difference doesn’t come into it at all. I’m sorry you don’t get it, but you don’t have to. What we have, is between Cooper and me, and no one else. It’s no one else’s fucking business.”

Sofia opened her mouth to say something, but I’d heard enough.

“I love him, Sofia,” I told her. It was the first time I’d said those words out loud. I’d thought them a hundred times, but never had the courage to say them, to admit them. “You and I won’t ever get back together, if that’s what you’re aiming for here. Beside the fact that
I’m
gay
, Sofia, I am in love with Cooper. I
love
him.”

Sofia paled as though my words had found their mark, but her eyes darted past me, over my shoulder. I followed her gaze, to see Cooper standing at the back patio doors, looking directly at me.

He was still wet from the pool, shirtless with a beach towel wrapped around his waist. He blinked a few times before he walked inside.

“Cooper,” Sofia said, but he put his hand up to stop her talking as he walked over to me.

My heart was hammering, my stomach was in knots. He’d heard everything. He stood in front of me and shook his head. “Oh, Tom, you’ve done it again.”

I could barely speak. “Done what?”

“Gone and spoken to someone else about how you feel about me,” he said. His hair was wet and drops of water ran down his body, but he didn’t seem to care. He stared right at me. “Don’t you think that’s something you should have told me first?”

I nodded quickly, petrified of what he might say.

Cooper bit his lip and slowly shook his head. “First you tell Louisa that you want something more with me, and now you tell your ex-wife, of all people, that you love me?”

“I keep getting it wrong. I should have told you.”

Cooper looked over at Sofia, who was watching us with a look of dismay on her face, then he turned back to me and he smiled. She’d been blatantly horrible to him, and he wanted me to say this in front of Sofia. He wanted her to see that I was choosing him. “So tell me now.”

It was the first time I’d seen him be remotely possessive. It was the first time I’d seen fear in his eyes. There was a bead of water threatening to fall from his hair, so I touched it and pressed my palm to his face. My words were barely a whisper. “I love you, Cooper. I’m
in
love with you,” I told him, and he smiled beautifully. Then I told him, “You drive me crazy, you do my head in some days, and you challenge everything I say, but you’ve breathed life into me. I never expected someone could understand me like you do.”

He smiled sweetly, then whispered, “Thank you,” before he pressed his lips to mine.

Sofia made some sound that was a half-scoff, half-sigh, and Cooper smiled against my lips. “I think we should go back to New York.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Sofia said softly.

Ten minutes later we were packed, we’d said goodbyes with Ryan—though he said he’d see us next week sometime—Sofia had bid us a quiet, distant farewell and we were on the road.

Cooper was quiet, but he took my hand and smiled. It wasn’t lost on me that he’d not returned any declaration of love—he’d simply thanked me for mine.

But he was just radiating happiness, even hungover. I didn’t think he’d stopped smiling yet. Even when he fell asleep in the car, he was smiling.

The quiet drive, with Cooper sleeping in the passenger seat, gave me some time to think.

I didn’t regret what I’d told him.

I didn’t regret saying it in front of Sofia.

I regretted none of it.

I didn’t expect him to tell me he loved me back. I realised when I was driving back to the City that it didn’t matter. It only mattered that he knew I loved him.

And when we’d arrived back at my apartment, a still-sleepy Cooper dropped his suitcase inside my front door and went and raided the fridge.