Clattering Sparrows (19 page)

“When we moved to Nyack, I missed my dear friend Natalie, but when you have a child in school, you eagerly want to meet your neighbors and the parents of your child’s classmates, and before long I had many friends. In the beginning, we spoke often, but as Danny grew older and I became more involved in community endeavors, the time between calls and visits grew farther and farther apart, until they became non-existent.

“Knowing Natalie as I did, I have no doubt that she made the decision to remain silent because of Jack and me. In my heart, I truly believe that if it were anyone else, she would never in a million years have allowed the circumstances to remain as they occurred even if the child was slated for adoption. And maybe she was right in her thinking that perhaps God had interceded on our behalf. Danny was Jack’s life. Everything he did, he did with him in mind, especially building Heller Pharmaceuticals into the giant it has become in the industry today.

“I am so sorry that I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye to Natalie, and if she had related her account to me, I certainly would have given her my heartfelt gratitude for the gift she gave Jack and me. There is no forgiveness warranted. I feel she agonized most of her life over her decision of silence, and I truly wish that I could have alleviated that burden from her shoulders.”

Charles Carter was greatly relieved that Katherine had accepted the news so well. He didn’t know what to expect, and he tried his best to present Natalie’s story in a favorable light. He briefly wondered if her initial reaction would change once she left his office and had time to think things over. On the other hand, since he had displayed no emotions whatsoever, Carter wasn’t convinced that Danny felt the same way his mother did. In the meantime, he would delay disbursing Natalie’s estate to the charities designated in her Will until he was certain no law suit would be filed.

Turning his attention to Danny he said, “In the late 1960s to mid-1970s, seventeen states rewrote their abortion laws, and four states repealed their bans entirely. This caused a rapid decline in unwed mothers seeking anonymity and solace in the many homes and agencies for unwed mothers throughout the United States. During this same timeframe, many people who were adopted through these same homes and agencies began openly seeking their biological parents, and the courts were forced to address unsealing documents that had previously been ironclad. With the advent of widespread computer usage, many learned to bypass the long difficult process of unsealing records by appealing directly to one another over the internet.

“When the Director of the Crittenden Home in Rochester was slated for retirement, Natalie met with her and pulled the records of the young girl who gave birth to Danny. She further hired an investigator to find where she was living at that time. Unfortunately, the location in New York resulted in a dead end with no forwarding address.

“Danny, I have all the information here in this folder, and Natalie wanted me to give this to you in case you wish to pursue the identity of your biological parents. There’s little to go on, just the name of your mother and no name of your father was offered on record. However, laws are quite different now than they were even a few years ago, and you may meet with more success than she did.

“If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them if I can. If not, then my business is finished as I have fully satisfied Natalie’s final wishes.”

Katherine requested Natalie’s burial site and he gave her the name of the cemetery and its location. Thanking him, Katherine and Danny both rose, shook hands with Charles Carter and left. Throughout the entire meeting, Danny had not spoken one word.

As they walked to the car, the large clock in the square signaled it was two o’clock. “Danny, why are you so quiet? Are you upset? I hope you’re not upset for me.”

Avoiding her questions, he said, “Why don’t we grab a quick lunch before going back to the hotel? I don’t think I’ll ride out to the plant today. I can go first thing in the morning before we head back.”

“Lunch downtown would be fine, but why don’t we return to the Strathallan and get room service. We can talk there, and I’ll move our dinner reservations up to eight o’clock. Since you haven’t answered my questions, I sense you are quite upset, and believe me when I say, I am as well. Although I didn’t appear that way in Carter’s office, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. My head is still spinning. I am truly thankful of one thing—that your father died never knowing what we learned today.”

***

They were both quiet on the short ride back to the hotel, and when they entered the suite, Danny immediately picked up the phone and ordered a salad for Katherine, a sandwich for himself, and a pitcher of martinis for both of them.

They sat at the small table eating and drinking, and at last Danny spoke. “I am a great deal more furious than I am simply upset. For Natalie Parker to have assumed the role of God is unforgivable. What she did for you, Dad, and me is undeniably exceptional, but what of the woman who gave birth to me and the man who fathered me? I can’t help but wonder what a baby’s death did to their lives. I would imagine just knowing that her child was adopted and alive would certainly have been some consolation to the woman who had carried him beneath her heart for nine months. Since the name of the father was not recorded, maybe he was never told that he had a child on the way.”

Katherine began to cry. “I meant what I said in Carter’s office. Whether you are our biological child or not does not change the fact that Natalie’s silence was an extraordinary gift to your father and me and to you as well. At a time when many children were placed for adoption and given to the highest bidder, she did what she thought was best for you and asked for nothing in return. Aside from our friendship, she knew that we could provide for you, and that you would have a far better life in a world that had changed dramatically since the War’s end and continued to do so. And I might add she was right. You’ve been given every privilege, but you’ve not wasted a one. You are a success, and your numerous accomplishments that have taken Heller Pharmaceuticals to unprecedented heights has also cured or extended the lives of a multitude of people.”

Seeing that he had selfishly hurt his mother, Danny was instantly remorseful.

“Mom, I am so sorry. Please forgive me for that very inconsiderate outburst. I could never have asked for better parents than you and Dad, as well as for the opportunities that being your son afforded me. I love you both with all my heart, and there is no way I could ever look at two other people and consider them my parents. Since Dad died, not a day has gone by that I don’t miss him and think about him or remember something he taught me. I am what I am today because of both of you, not because of the genes I inherited.

“I’m simply saying that doesn’t excuse what Natalie Parker did. Although she wasn’t the person directly responsible for what happened, by remaining silent and condoning the hospital’s error, there’s no way of knowing what effect her actions, or lack thereof, had on others involved.”

“You know Danny, I have to admit that at times I would look at you and try to imagine who you looked like. Your dark hair is very close in color to Dad’s, but your blue-gray eyes are not apparent from either side, since my eyes are brown as were your father’s. Your complexion is also slightly darker than ours, but in other ways, you do have some of our features. You’re tall like your father and your physiques are one in the same. You even have a swagger of confidence to your walk like he had.

“My pregnancy was a difficult one, and when your birth weight was nine pounds, we were pleasantly surprised. I was monitored closely throughout the nine months, and my weight was kept at a gain of twenty pounds. I remember during one visit early in my ninth month, Natalie mentioned that the baby’s weight was just around six pounds.

‘We were fortunate that you never had any severe health issues that required going beyond blood types. Although we learned yours was B when you had your appendectomy, it was consistent with your father’s which was B, as well. Mine is type “O.”

“When I think back now, I guess I could have wondered about Natalie’s constant interest in you as you were growing up. At times, it did seem a little excessive, but I simply thought she was just being a good friend, and that she was genuinely interested in our little boy that she brought into this world.”

Danny seemed more relaxed and much of the tenseness had left his face. “Mom, for now I’m going to put this folder that Carter gave me in the safe at Hillcrest. I’ll do some more thinking and decide if I want to pursue seeking the woman who gave birth to me, especially since she doesn’t know I am alive and well. What are your thoughts? Are you interested in learning her identity, and do you think I should pursue tracking her down?”

“I’m comfortable with anything you decide. What we learned from Carter today weighs heavier on your shoulders than mine, and I’m sure if you take the time and give it some serious thought, you will come to the right decision. But please understand I can be neither mad nor upset with Natalie for having given your father and me the most precious of gifts—a child. I can’t even begin to imagine what our lives would have been like without you.

“I’m really tired and I think I’ll lie down for a while before dinner. It’s been a long day. I’m looking forward to a nice quiet evening with you.”

Danny wheeled the table from lunch out into the hall. He spent the rest of the afternoon making a few calls and fell asleep watching the evening news.

At 7:45 p.m., dressed and ready for dinner at The Grille downstairs in the hotel, they awaited the elevator.

Dinner was wonderful. The events of the day were forgotten, and the usual banter between mother and son replaced their earlier conversations of speculation and realization. Danny was in a good mood as he ordered after dinner drinks for Katherine and himself.

When the drinks arrived, he gently touched his glass to Katherine’s and said, “To you Mom the only mother I’ve ever known, will ever want, or will ever need. I love you.”

Katherine smiled, “I’ll drink to that. I love you too Son.”

Danny momentarily became serious. “Last week when I came to Hillcrest for dinner, I had something I wanted to tell you, but when we got on the subject of meeting with Charles Carter, I don’t know why, but I decided to wait. I’ve asked Nicole to marry me, and we’re planning to make it official New Year’s Day.”

Tears filled Katherine’s eyes. “Danny that’s wonderful. I love Nicole, and I’m so happy for both of you. Where are you planning to be married?”

Danny smiled, “We were thinking about Hillcrest if you agree to it.”

“Absolutely, I think that would be perfect.” Katherine was beaming. She loved entertaining but Jack’s death had abruptly ended her era of charity and social gatherings both at their beautiful home and at the local hotels. She eagerly welcomed the prospect of helping to plan Danny and Nicole’s wedding.

The next morning Danny left for the plant saying that he would be back around noon. When he left, Katherine showered, dressed, and called downstairs for a taxi. Picking up a small bouquet of flowers in the gift shop, she got into the cab, and handed the driver a piece of paper with the name Mount Hope Cemetery, and an address at 1133 Mount Hope Road. The driver drove through the gates and stopped at the office so she could learn the exact location of the grave. He then drove her as close to the site as he could.

Katherine walked a short distance and came to a stop at the headstone that read
Natalie Anne Parker.
She knelt and placed the flowers on the grave and bowed her head. “May God bless you my dear friend and grant your soul eternal peace. I thank you.”

She was waiting in the lobby when Danny returned from the plant, and they were soon on their way back to Nyack.

***

In the immediate days following their return, Katherine became troubled by thoughts of what had happened to their biological son’s body. Had he been named? Was there a burial?” Was he cremated? His body would surely have been released to the birth mother, who having given birth anonymously miles from home would have obviously been totally unprepared to make burial arrangements. Who could she have turned to? Would the Home have been involved? Her unbridled thoughts raised far too many questions for which she had no answers.

She mulled over and over in her mind what Carter had related to them, and as she did so, gradually her initial feelings of thanks and gratitude turned to anger and resentment towards her once dear friend. Katherine began to view the long delayed disclosure of Dr. Natalie Parker’s secret as a deathbed revelation, solely to cleanse her own soul. She worried endlessly what effect it would all have on Danny, especially now that he was planning to be married and possibly have children of his own. Would he tell Nicole? And she couldn’t help wondering what Jack’s thoughts and feelings would have been.

Eventually Katherine made the decision to hire a private investigator to help unearth the answers she sought by learning as much as she could about Danny’s birth mother, and the circumstances surrounding his birth at the Crittenden Home in Rochester. She was not interested in meeting the woman, and certainly not interested in revealing to her what had happened on that August evening some thirty years before. She felt it was not her place to do so, but rather Danny’s if and when he made the decision to learn her identity sometime in the future. Above all, she would make it clear that she wanted the investigation to be circumspect, and that her sole intention was to learn of the location of her son’s remains, if in fact there had been a burial. Opening the safe, she removed the folder that Carter had given Danny containing his birth mother’s information.