Authors: Octavia E. Butler
Tags: #Fiction, #Alternative History, #Science Fiction, #General, #Fantasy, #Historical
"What the hell would I be joining?"
Eli smiled. "A little nineteenth-century ranch in mountains you can't even see from here. Chickens, hogs, rabbits . . .
The place will work your ass off. So will she, I expect."
The man did not smile. "How many others?"
"One other. A woman."
"Three women? How the hell did you wind up with three women?"
Eli's smile vanished. "Accidentally," he said. "The way you wound up here accidentally."
They stared at each other for several seconds, Zeriam clearly not liking Eli's evasion, but not quite as willing to probe it
as he had been. "So you live on a ranch with your harem. What do you need me for?"
"Nothing," Eli said. He jerked a thumb toward Lorene who waited beside the Tien Shan. "She needs you."
"What about you?"
"I don't care. You're welcome as long as you'll share the work."
"What about Lorene?"
"What about her?"
Silence.
Eli gave a short laugh. "I don't own anybody, man. People do what they want to. If she likes you, she likes you."
Zeriam spent several seconds squinting at him in the sun. "Why do I believe you?" he said finally. "After that shit with
the car gang, why should I believe anybody?"
"You dump your garbage?" Eli asked.
"The body? Yeah. Good shooting."
"Why don't you fuel up then. The ranch is a long way from here over a lot of lonely dirt roads."
They stared at each other for a moment longer, then Zeriam looked over at Lorene. She stood where she had been,
waiting beside his truck, watching intently, and, though Zeriam did not realize it, listening.
Finally Zeriam went to her. She got into the truck with him and they drove around to the fuel lot.
PRESENT 18
Keira knew what she wanted.
She was afraid Eli would leave without giving it to her because she was young and ill. She was afraid touching would
be enough for him. But he showed no signs of wanting to leave.
"Why?" he asked her, rubbing her bare arms beneath the caftan's loose sleeves. "I never tried so hard to spare someone.
Why did you do it?"
She liked the way his hands felt. Not bruising or scratching. Just rubbing gently. If everything he'd told her was true, he
was enjoying it more than she was. She closed her eyes for a moment, wondering whether he really wanted his question
answered. She did not think he did.
"I didn't want to be alone," she said. That was true, as far as it went. "And you. Why didn't you aim that guy Kaneshiro
at me when he asked about me?"
His expression hardened and his hands closed around her arms. She smiled. "I think I want to answer your question
honestly," she said. "I think I can say it to you."
She hugged him, then backed away, escaping his hands. The hands twitched and he took a step toward her.
"Wait," she said. "Only for a moment. Bear it for a moment while I tell you."
He stood still.
She took a deep breath, met his eyes. "I think . . ." she began, "I know part of the reason I want you is that I'm ... dying.
But it is you I want. Not just a warm body. Before you I didn't want anyone. There were some guys who wanted me,
even after I got sick, but I never ... I thought I would never . . ." She floundered helplessly, unable to finish, wishing she
had not begun. At least he did not laugh at her.
"You might die," he said. There was no conviction in his voice. "Stephen Kaneshiro needs a woman whose chances are
better. And you ... I wanted you with me."
She let out a breath she had not known she was holding and tried to go back to him.
"Wait a minute," he said, holding her at arm's length. "Maybe I have a couple of things to say to you, too. I want you to
know me. God knows why. It's always been to my advantage not to have people know me that well at first."
"You know why," she said quietly.
He could not keep his hands off her so he settled for holding one of her hands.
"You have a son," she said. "Who's his mother?"
"Meda."
"Meda?"
"She and I have two sons."
"You're married then?"
He smiled. "Not formally. Besides, I have four more kids by other women."
She stared at him, first in surprise, then imagining what her mother would have said about him. "I've heard about . . .
men who do that," she said.
He smiled grimly. "Your mama told you to keep the hell away from sewer rats like that, didn't she?"
"At least." She wondered why she did not pull her hand away from him. Six children by five different women. Good
God. "Why?" she demanded.
"Young women survive," he said. "Right now, we have the best balance we've ever had between men and women.
Kaneshiro is the only extra man we've ever had. Now he's not extra any longer."
"But I am."
"You and your father, because you're related."
"So when women are extra, you get them."
"That's exactly right. And when men are found for them, I give them up. We began that way out of biological necessity.
I was alone with three women. The organism doesn't permit celibacy for any reason other than isolation."
"But . . . What about Meda?"
"What about her?"
"Why do you have two kids with her?"
"She's as close to a wife as I'm ever likely to get." He looked a little wistful. "We always get back together."
"But . . . right now, she's with my father."
"Yes."
"You don't care?"
"I care-though not as much as I would if she weren't already a couple of months pregnant. She's taking care of your
father and I'm taking care of you."
And Rane was alone, Keira thought. At least Eli had said she was. Keira wondered why she tended to believe him so
easily. She wondered why the things he was telling her were not more disturbing. He was everything her mother had
warned her against and more. And she did not doubt that her mother had been right. Yet all she regretted was that she
would not be able to keep him. Her own feelings were so irrational, they frightened her.
"If I told you I didn't want to be part of your harem," she said, "would you go away?"
She felt the hand that held hers stiffen. "I don't think so," he said. "I don't think I could."
She thought if she were ever going to be afraid of him, now would be the time. "Let go of me," she whispered.
His grip on her tightened, became painful, then was suddenly released. His hands were shaking. He looked at them with
amazement. "I didn't even think I could do that." He swallowed. "I can't keep doing it."
"That's okay," she said. She took his hand again and felt the shaking stop. He gave her a slow smile that she had not
seen before. It confused her, warmed her. She gave him her other hand, but felt utterly foolish because she could no
longer look directly at him.
Because he did nothing for a while, apparently felt no need to hurry, she regained her composure. "You like what you
are, don't you," she said.
"I didn't care much for it today."
"Because of me." She managed to look at him again. "But you like what you are most of the time. You think you
shouldn't like being a majority of one, but you do like it."
He held her by the shoulders. "Girl, if you convert okay and get even more perceptive, you're going to be spooky."
She laughed, then looked at his hands. "Don't you have to scratch me or something?"
"I would if I weren't so sure I didn't have to."
"What?"
He drew her to him, kissed her until she drifted from surprise at the thrust of his tongue to pleasure at the way he
warmed her with his hands.
"You see," he said. "Who the hell needs biting and scratching?"
She laughed and let him lift her onto the bed.
She expected to be hurt. She had read enough and heard enough not to expect the first time to be romantic and
beautiful. And there was her illness to make things worse. She had never known it to make anything better. At least her
medicine was still working.
Somehow, he managed not to hurt her much. He handled her like a fragile doll. She did not think she could have stood
that from anyone else, but from him, it was a gift she readily accepted. She had some idea what it cost him.
Eventually, pleased and tired, they both slept.
It was ten to two when Keira awoke. She stumbled off to the bathroom, her mind barely awake until she saw the clock
on the bookcase. Ten to two. Two. Oh God.
Eli himself had given her reason to go. If she stayed and somehow lived, he would pass her on to some other man. She
did not want to be passed on.
And she did not want her father to leave without her-or try to leave and be killed because she could have helped and
had not.
By the time she came out of the bathroom, she had made up her mind. But how to get away from Eli? The door was
locked. She had no idea where the key was. In his clothing, perhaps.
But if she went searching through his clothing, then unlocking the door, he would awaken, stop her, and she would not
get another chance.
She would have to hurt him.
She cringed from the thought. He had gone to some trouble to avoid hurting her. He was not exactly a good man, but
she liked him, could have loved him, she thought, under other circumstances.
Yet for her father, she had to hurt him. After all, he had not only the key to the room door, but the keys to the
Wagoneer. Without the car keys, her father might have to spend too much time getting into the car and getting it
started. He would be caught before he drove a foot.
There was the clock-a nondigital antique with a luminous dial. It ticked loudly and needed neither batteries nor
electricity. If she hit Eli with it, he could probably be hurt, but would he be knocked unconscious or would he wake up
and knock her unconscious? The clock was heavy, but awkward and big. The elephant bookend would be better. She
had noticed it when she put away the book she had tried to read. The space between the elephant's trunk and its body
offered a good handhold. The base was flat and would do less damage, less gouging and cutting when she hit him. It
was unpainted cast iron, dull gray, heavy, and already just above Eli's head on the headboard bookshelf.
She went back to the bed, climbed in.
"Hey," Eli said sleepily. He reached for her. The gentleness of his hands told her he probably wanted to make love
again. She would have given a great deal to stay there with him.
Instead, she reached for the elephant, gripped its trunk, and brought it down with all her strength on his head.
He gave a cry not much different from the one he had given at orgasm. Frightened, she hit him again. He went limp.
She had hurt her own hands and arms with the force of her blows. She knew she was weak, had feared at first that she