Authors: Jacqueline Wilson
âOK, I'll keep it safe for you, sweetheart. And I'll take Dancer to the reindeer hospital, Vita, and get her poor bent antlers fixed, and make sure she has a discreet little nose-job.' Dad looked at Maxie. âHow are your felt tips, little guy?'
Maxie wouldn't answer, just burrowing his head hard against Dad as if he wanted to bore right into him.
âThey're all used up because he wrote you so many letters,' I said.
I thought Dad would be pleased but he looked as if he might start crying again.
âYes, well might you weep,' said Gran bitterly.
The nurse came up to us and said they were ready for me to go and have an X-ray.
Gran got up and started trying to pull Vita and Maxie off Dad. âCome along, you two, we have to go with your sister,' she said briskly.
âNo, I'm afraid they're not allowed. Just Emily
â and maybe Daddy can come too?' the nurse suggested.
âOh, yes please!'
So I got to go off with Dad. We stayed together while I had my arm X-rayed and then I was taken to a little room where we waited, just Dad and me.
âAre you too grown up a girl to sit on my lap?' said Dad.
âI'm not a bit too grown up,' I said, climbing on his knees. âJust make sure I don't squash you.'
âThere's nothing of you now, I'm telling you. Where's my little chubby-cheeks gone?' Dad gently poked my cheeks with his thumb and forefinger. âAh, at least you've still got your dimples!' he said.
âYou've got thinner too, Dad,' I said.
âAh. Well. It's because I've been missing you,' said Dad.
I reached round to the back of his neck with my good arm. I tentatively ruffled the back of his shorn spiky hair.
âWhen did you have your plait cut off, Dad?'
âThe other month. Hannah kept nagging me, saying it was sad and pathetic, an old guy like me hanging on to his hair like a hippy, so I cut it off to shut her up.'
âHannah?' I said, puzzled.
âMy girlfriend.'
âShe's called Sarah!'
âOh. No, Sarah and I split up soon after I went up to Scotland. So then I came back down south and eventually fetched up with Hannah.'
I thought it all through in my head.
âWhat is it, Em?' said Dad.
âSo you could have come to visit us all this time?' I said.
âI wanted to, darling, I wanted to so much. You've no idea just how I've missed you and Vita and Maxie â and your mum too.'
âSo why didn't you?'
âI knew I wasn't wanted. It was going to be a clean break, remember? That's what your mum wanted.'
âShe just said that because she was cross with you then. She didn't really
mean
it.'
âYou were all pretty cross with me. I felt dreadful. I thought maybe you were better off without me. I didn't want you all getting so upset and angry. I honestly thought it was for the best.'
I looked at Dad.
âDon't look at me like that, Em, I can't bear it,' said Dad. âAll right, all right, I didn't
really
think that. I just couldn't stand all the rows and the sadness and feeling that it was all my fault. I always want everyone to be happy. Then
I'm
happy too. So I tried to put you all out of my mind, and I know I should have kept in touch, I should have sent
your mum money, though I truly didn't make much. That's another reason why I went â I've been such a failure, I can't make a go of anything, I just don't seem to get the breaks. So I thought a fresh start, a new love, it would all work out for me. Only it didn't.'
âIt would never work with that Sarah, she was horrible,' I said.
âWell. I'm no catch,' said Dad.
âWhat about Hannah?'
âI don't know. It's early days.'
âDad. Come back to us.'
âI
want
to, Em. But it's not that simple. There's your gran for a start. We all know she can't stand me.'
âGran's got this boyfriend though. He lives in Spain, she's talking about living over there with him. She's even spending this Christmas with him â she won't always be around.'
âYe gods, your gran's got a
boyfriend
?' said Dad. âI don't believe it!'
âHis name's Eddie. We all thought he was after Mum at first, but it was Gran he fancied.'
âHe must be mad!' Dad paused. âWhat about your mum? Has she got her own boyfriend now?'
âOh, Dad. Mum doesn't want any boyfriends. She wants you.'
âI've been such an idiot, haven't I, Princess
Emerald? How are we going to make everything end happily ever after, eh? How are we going to reunite foolish King Francesco with poor long-suffering Queen Juliana?'
He started spinning me this long fairy tale. My arm was starting to throb so painfully it was hard to concentrate. The rest of me was hurting too, my arms, my neck, my head. It was as if I'd been shaken up all over.
I tried so hard to believe what Dad was saying, but I didn't know if he meant it or whether he was just making up a fairy story. I didn't know what was real any more. When I closed my eyes all my dreams had come true and Dad had his arms round me, telling me a wonderful story and making everything better. But when I looked at him properly he seemed so different, not really like
Dad
. He was just this pale thin man with short spiky hair and a grubby denim jacket, telling me a whole lot of stories.
It was easier keeping my eyes closed. I was so worn out with all the amazing things that had happened I could feel my head nodding.
âThat's it, sweetheart, have a little sleep,' Dad said softly.
I think I must have napped for a while, because I was dreaming I was running after Dad all over again, and then when I hurled myself at him he
stepped sideways and I found myself tumbling down a hole in the pavement, down down down in pitch blackness, and I started screaming.
âEm, darling! It's all right, I'm here. Does your arm hurt really badly?' said Dad. âThe nurse has just come, pet, they're ready to plaster you up.'
I clung to Dad, scared that it might be very painful. It
did
hurt when they gently but firmly straightened my arm out.
âThere we go. We'll have you right as rain in no time,' said the young doctor, smiling at me. âThere's no complications. It's a nice clean break.'
I winced at those two words.
âSorry, pet, it'll all be over soon,' said the doctor, misunderstanding. âNow, you have a very important decision to make. What colour plaster would you like? We can do you a very pretty pink, a fetching shade of blue â or what about a vivid emerald-green?'
âI told you so, Em,' said Dad triumphantly. âThere. You can truly be Princess Emerald now.'
I laughed uneasily, suddenly a little embarrassed for Dad to be talking about the whole princess thing in front of the doctor.
Dad went on and on about Princess Emerald as they wound a bandage tightly round my arm and sloshed on the plaster. I knew he was only doing it to distract me. He was being so sweet. But somehow it wasn't working.
âEm's been my Princess Emerald ever since she was little,' Dad told the nurse. âLook, she's all dressed up in green today. She's even got wondrous emerald hair!'
âThat's because I was going to see Jenna Williams, Dad, and she's got this book
The Emerald Sisters
, see?'
Dad saw. He nodded a little sadly. âOh well. I guess you're getting too old for my fairy stories,' he said.
âNo, Dad! I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry!' I said quickly.
âIt's OK, sweetheart. You're not the one who should say sorry,' said Dad.
I wasn't sure what we were talking about again. It was so hard to make sense of anything when my arm hurt and I was so tired and my head felt so fuzzy. I hung onto Dad with my good hand, gripping him very tightly.
A nurse popped her head round the door. âHow are we getting on here? Oh good, nearly done. Emily, your mum's here.'
âMum!'
Mum came rushing in, very pale, her make-up smudged, her hair tangled. She scarcely looked at Dad. She came over to me and put her head against mine.
âOh Em, darling, are you all right?'
âI'm fine, Mum. I've just broken my arm, that's all,' I said.
âHow did you
do
it?' Mum glanced at Dad, then back to me. âGran said Dad knocked you
over
!'
âGod, that woman!' said Dad.
âIt was me, Mum, I saw Dad and I ran after him, and then I fell. It wasn't
Dad's
fault!' I said.
âHow could you ever think I'd knock her over, Julie?' said Dad.
Mum shook her head. âI didn't really believe it. I'm not even sure Mum did either. So, Frankie, what are you doing here?'
Dad smiled weirdly at Mum. âI suppose I've come back,' he said. âI still love you, Julie. I want to be with you and the kids. Say you'll take me back.'
âWhat?' said Mum, sounding dazed. âLook, let's just concentrate on Em and her broken arm for the moment.' She shook her head apologetically at the doctor and nurse.
âTake no notice of us,' said the nurse, smiling. âWe're used to all sorts in here. It's our very own soap opera, night after night.'
She pinned a sling on my new bright-green arm with a flourish. âThere you go, little green girl. Off you go with Mum and Dad.'
We walked down the corridor together, Mum with her arm round me, Dad still holding my good hand.
âCome on, Em, let's get you home,' Mum said wearily. âWe'd better go and find poor Gran. I think Vita and Maxie are driving her round the bend.'
âDon't go back to her, not for a few minutes,' said Dad. âLook, let's go and have a coffee somewhere and talk.'
âFrankie, Em's exhausted, we all are. We just need to get
home
,' said Mum.
âWell, I'll come too.'
Mum paused. âYou don't really mean it. You're just feeling all shaken up because of Em.'
âWell, of course I'm shaken up, but that's a good thing, isn't it? I've missed you so, you and the kids.'
âI bet you've hardly given us a second thought,' Mum said. She didn't even sound angry, she just sounded weary.
âI think of you nearly all the time!'
âYou haven't been in touch for months and months. You haven't sent a penny for the kids in ages. They could have starved for all you've cared,' said Mum.
âI know, I've got no real excuse, but I swear I've been thinking about them. That's why I was up in London today, I was going to get a signed copy of Jenna Williams's latest book for our Em and send it as a special surprise.'
âIt would have been a surprise, all right,' said Mum.
âWhat's up with you, Julie? You seem so . . . hard.'
âI suppose I've had to toughen up a bit,' said Mum. âNot before time. Anyway. We're going home now. If you want to stay in touch that will be wonderful, especially for the kids. But we can't just wave a magic wand and pretend all this year hasn't happened.'
âIt
hasn't
happened,' Dad said urgently. âWe're rewinding right the way back to before Christmas. We're still a family, you, me and the kids, and we all love each other and it's all going to work out, you'll see. It
will
work, won't it, Em, if we wish hard enough?'
I started crying.
âDon't, Frankie. Don't do this to her. It's been hard enough on her as it is,' said Mum. âCome on, Em, we're going home. You go now, Frankie, please.'
Dad insisted on ordering a taxi for all of us, saying we couldn't possibly make our way home on the train. We all squashed in together, Dad too.
âHe's not coming back to
my
house,' said Gran. âGod, what do you look like, Frankie? Are you dossing down in the gutter nowadays? Have you run out of stupid girlfriends so you're trying to sponge off us again?'
âI'm just seeing my family back safe and sound, you mean-spirited old witch,' said Dad.
âStop it, both of you,' said Mum fiercely. âThink about the kids, please.'
Maxie and Vita sprawled on Dad's lap, half asleep. I curled up beside him, my head on his shoulder. I so badly wanted to believe in magic and wishes and fairy stories. I wanted the taxi to turn into an emerald chariot and whisk us off to an enchanted land where we could all live happily ever after. But we ended up at Gran's house instead, and the taxi fare was so much that Dad couldn't pay it, and Gran started goading him again, reaching for her purse.
â
I'm
paying this,' said Mum.
âI'll send you the cash tomorrow, Julie,' Dad said.
âYes, you do that,' said Mum.
âYou don't trust me, do you? I don't blame you. But you wait and see. Believe in me just this once,' said Dad.
He kissed Vita and Maxie and me goodbye. He kissed Mum too. She didn't put her arms round him. She just walked away, but when we were back in the house I saw she was crying.
I couldn't sleep much at all that night. I couldn't turn over and snuggle down because of my arm. I lay flat on my back, stiff and sore, staring into the darkness. I didn't know whether I could believe in my dad or not.
I didn't know whether he wanted to stay with
his new girlfriend or come and live with us.
I didn't know whether he really had been going to get me a Jenna Williams book.
I didn't know whether he thought my ring was a real emerald.
I didn't know whether I'd ever get it back again anyway.
I didn't know whether my wish had come true or not.