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Authors: Fabrizio Didonna,Jon Kabat-Zinn
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cases, patients tend to react by raising their level of arousal, for example,
seeking promiscuous sexual relationships, dangerous acting out, and alcohol
or substance abuse to the point of no return or bulimic crises.
From a psychodynamic perspective,
Pazzagli and Monti (2000)
for research purposes consider that two of the criteria listed in the DSM-IV for BPD diagnosis, chronic feelings of emptiness and efforts to avoid abandonment, can
be appropriately grouped together in the concepts of “solitude and empti-
ness.” According to the authors, the borderline person functions via osmosis:
He is empty but, at the same time, intolerant of a solitude in which he keeps
looking for objects to fill this inner sense of emptiness. The solitude of the
BPD patient is actually an intolerance of true solitude, the solitude of being
able to be alone. It is a solitude dominated by emptiness: a void in the outside
world, made up of inadequate objects, sporadic, stormy, and superficial rela-
tionships prone to sudden break-ups, and a void in the inner world, always
subject to the threat of rupturing and the loss of limits.
In a research study conducted by
Rogers, Widiger, and Krupp (1995)
aimed at identifying the qualitative differences of depression diagnosed in patients
with BPD and others, the most frequent aspects associated with depression
were found to be self-condemnation, emptiness, abandonment fears, self-
destructiveness, and hopelessness. The authors conclude that the depression
associated with borderline pathology is unique in certain aspects. The impli-
cations of the study outline the importance of considering the phenomeno-
logical aspects of depression, among which is the experience of emptiness,
in the BPD.
Leichsenring (2004)
reports the following in another study: “Clinical observations suggest that depressive experiences in patients with bor-
derline personality disorder have a specific quality. These experiences are
characterized by emptiness and anger (‘angry depression’).” In this study,
this observation was tested empirically.
Westen et al. (1992)
found an interpersonally focused “borderline depression” that was phenomenologically
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Fabrizio Didonna and Yolanda Rosillo Gonzalez
characterized by emptiness, loneliness, despair, and an unstable negative
affectivity. The quality of the depression may also have consequences for
pharmacotherapy
(Westen et al., 1992,
p. 391). The qualitative experience of depression (e.g., emptiness or anger) may influence a patient’s reaction to
drugs more strongly than the diagnosis (depression).
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The essential characteristic of NPD is a pervasive picture of grandiosity,
necessity of admiration, and lack of empathy, with onset in early adult age
and present in a variety of contexts (DSM-IV,
APA, 2000).
On the whole, we can say that the authors studying the disorder can be divided into those who
describe some subtypes
(Gabbard, 1989;
Millon, 1999)
and those who lean more to a Horowitz-type interpretation assuming that a subject experiences
a set of multiple distinct mental states. These authors observe how the nar-
cissists oscillate between states of grandiosity, emptiness, shame, anguished
depression, and dysregulated affect with acting-out tendencies
(Horowitz,
1989;
Young & Flanagan, 1998;
Dimaggio et al., 2002).
A substantial agreement exists between the various authors: It is most probable that the narcis-
sist experiences on the whole mental states described in the literature and
that the diagnosed subtype is characterized by the most important and mani-
fest of mental states.
Dimaggio et al. (2002)
have identified in their work four mental states: grandiosity, transition, frightening depression, and devitalized
emptiness. In this state of devitalized emptiness, the emotional experience
is completely shut down; not only are feelings of weakness and fragility “sco-
tomized” (obscured, clouded), but also feelings overall are. Subjects feel cold,
detached, distanced from others and from their own inner experience, and
they perceive an almost unreal world; their body is annoyingly far away and
they are anhedonic. The experience is not at all intensely unpleasant; for
a long time narcissists dwell in this state where they are untouchable, not
subject to self-esteem fluctuations and to the complex, annoying, and incom-
prehensible demands of others.
The fantasy of success and almightiness can fill up mental life even
though these subjects lack the triumphant echoes overwhelming the state
of grandiosity. The aims are mostly inactive. This state largely coincides
with the clinical descriptions of
Modell (1984),
which describes patients as being closed up as if in a “cocoon.” In the long run, this state becomes
ego-dystonic: The subject perceives life as empty and boring, the emotional
coldness touches him, and his need for relationships surfaces unconfessed
(Dimaggio, Petrilli, Fiore, & Mancioppi, 2003).
The sense of emptiness as an important and distinctive experience in NPD
has been indicated by a large number of authors.
Forman (1975)
made a
summary of the characteristics that emerge from the descriptions of
Kohut
(1971).
The most important are low self-esteem, a tendency to have hypocon-driac episodes, and a feeling of emptiness or a deficiency of vital force.
Millon (1996)
gives us the following description of the narcissistic prototype at a biopsychological level in clinical settings: “the narcissistic personality
presents a general indifference, unflappability, and fake tranquility
. . .
except
when his narcissistic confidence is threatened, where brief demonstrations
of anger, shame or feelings of emptiness appear.” Millon identifies rational-
ization as a mechanism of defense in NPD; if the rationalization fails, these
Chapter 8 Mindfulness and Feelings of Emptiness
137
individuals often feel rejected and embarrassed, and experience feelings of
emptiness.
Kernberg (1975)
explains how the experience of emptiness in
narcissists is characterized by the addition of strong feelings of boredom
and restlessness: “Patients with depressive personality and even schizoid
patients, are able to empathize deeply with human feelings and experiences
involving other people, and may feel painfully excluded from and yet able to
empathize with love and emotion involving others
. . .
patients with narcissis-
tic personalities, on the other hand, do not have that capacity for empathiz-
ing with human experience in depth. Their social life, which gives them
opportunities to obtain confirmation in reality or fantasy of their needs to be
admired, and offers them direct instinctual gratifications, may provide them
with an immediate sense of meaningfulness, but this is temporary. When
such gratifications are not forthcoming, their sense of emptiness, restless-
ness and boredom take over. Now their world becomes a prison from which
only new excitement, admiration, or experiences implying control, triumph
or incorporation of supplies, are an escape. Deep emotional reactions to art,
the investment in value systems or in creativity beyond gratification of their
narcissistic aims, is often unavailable and indeed strange to them” (1975,
p. 218)
Schizoid Personality Disorder
The essential characteristics of schizoid personality disorder are a pervasive
condition of detachment from social relations and a restricted range of emo-
tional experiences and expressions in interpersonal contexts. The onset of
this condition is in early adult age, and it is present in a variety of contexts
(DSM-IV,
APA, 2000).
Kernberg
(1975),
as previously indicated, thinks that the experience of
emptiness varies in form, intensity, and etiology in relation to the type of
personality disorder affecting the patient. Even in schizoid disorders, spe-
cific characteristics of emptiness are obviously present. According to the
author, these individuals can experience the emptiness as an inborn qual-
ity that makes them different from others: “in contrast to others, they cannot
feel anything and they may feel guilty because they do not have feelings
of love, hatred, tenderness, longing or mourning which they observe and
understand in other people, but feel they cannot count on to experience
themselves” (1975, p. 215). For these schizoid patients, the experience of
emptiness can be less painful than for the depressed because the contrast
between the periods when they feel empty and those when they would like
to have emotional relations with others is less violent. A feeling of inner fluc-
tuation, of subjective unreality, and the appeasement derived from this same
unreality make the vacuous experience more acceptable to schizoids, allow-
ing them to fill in time with the awareness of external reality opposed to
their subjective experience.
Depression and Emptiness
Many people who come to therapy complain about having a senseless life.
Their words express the idea of deep and anguishing “emptiness” leading
them to wish for death as a liberation from this state. These patients often suf-
fer from depression, and what has been described is only the manifestation
138
Fabrizio Didonna and Yolanda Rosillo Gonzalez
of one of the many emotional, cognitive, and physical symptoms marking the
disease.
Maureta Reyes
(2007)
defines this existential emptiness as:
the feeling of a lack of a sense in life, of tediousness, of not knowing the reason
for living, leading to isolation and impoverishment of the relation with family
and society [
. . .
] patients with this problem, usually experience moments of
strong tension and anxiety attacks without a valid reason, they worry about
everything, but nothing seriously, they have lost the motivation and interest for
everything and this makes them think that living is the worst thing that can
happen to them. When this situation is prolonged, becoming more intense, it
can lead to suicide.
This type of experience, described as such, appears more frequently in
certain periods of life, for example, during old age, retirement, or the course
of a terminal illness, or in the so-called empty-nest syndrome when adult
children abandon the family home. In the latter case, women, seeing their
role as mothers ending – their children having little need for them and their
husbands busy at work, spending little time with them – are more prone
to feeling depressive symptoms and a sense of emptiness. Old age, though,
is surely a period where this type of feeling of emptiness becomes more
present. Faced with fears associated with becoming old, such as isolation,
solitude, physical decline, no longer being desired, uselessness, the loss of
every role in society or in the family, and illness, it is easy to imagine how
the lack of one’s own sense of life leads to experiencing emptiness.
The feeling of emptiness in depression is often associated with significant
experiences of loss (see also
Bowlby, 1980),
above all in conjunction with a first depressive episode (see also Chapter 12). In some cases, the feeling of
emptiness is connected not only to what is no longer there, but also to what
will no longer be there in the future.
In the following case example, a 41-year-old depressed patient describes
her deep sense of emptiness derived from the loss of her 15-year-old son who
died tragically in a car accident:
I would never have thought that, from one day to another, life could
change so violently and destructively. With N’s death, I find myself having
to reinvent everything, fighting against this harsh reality, with all its emo-
tions and feelings. It is unthinkable that he is no longer here with me and
that he has left this immense emptiness just in this moment: a life yet to
start, come to a sudden end by such an unfair destiny
.
The pain is so great that with its presence, it is actually physical every
time I think of the things N. liked and loved to spend his time on, his
determination and will to live. It’s like suddenly opening a door without
expecting to find someone there: an icy wave, a shock which rises up from
my feet and leaves me momentarily incredulous that all this belongs to
me. A great weakness is left behind and a loss of feeling pervades my
arms and hands. I get a tingling which becomes all one with a pain in
my stomach as if it were knotted. These are very hard moments that make
me realize that I’ll never have him near me again. This great emptiness
that I perceive projects itself not so much in my past memories which are
alive, but based on the fact that I will never experience some situations or
Chapter 8 Mindfulness and Feelings of Emptiness