Clockwork Blue (83 page)

In the stable, he grabbed Mohammed, not bothering to wait for the stablemen to prepare the stallion, but tacking the horse himself. Mohammed snorted and quivered with excitement. Vaulting onto the black stallion
'
s back, he urged the creature into a gallop. He guided the animal toward town and sounds of glass shattering, stomping hooves and
yelling
, all the while praying that he made it in time.

Not bothering to wonder why, he
prayed
when he hadn
'
t beseeched the heavens in the ten
ye
ars since William
'
s death. He just knew a deep-seated fear, ten times worse than anything he had recalled ever experiencing. When he reached the village, he urged Mohammed forward
between fighting men, even as growing dread rose to suffocate him. He continued to gallop through the streets to the heart of the rebellion.

The fighting had turned vicious. Gunshots exploded in the air and the smell of smoke permeated his senses. How would he find her in this mob?

Suddenly, a bright light flashed. In the beam he saw her lying on the ground. Vaulting off Mohammed, he ran to her. Her face was ghostly pale, her breathing shallow as he gathered her in his arms. With gentle fingers, he found the swelling behind her ear, the same spot where William had hit his head when he
'
d fallen off the cliff. The sensation that he was reliving the same nightmare struck him. William
'
s death was happening all over again—the horror of watching him linger, the
unnatural
stillness, only to watch him finally succumb to darkness. Only,
Malcolm
didn
'
t think he could survive the tragedy of losing
Nicola
.

"
It
'
s
my entire
fault,
"
Ramsey whispered.

Malcolm
barely realized the boy had knelt next to him. The way
Nicola
'
s head bobbed listlessly on his forearm, the limp lifelessness of her body in his arms, made it difficult for him to breathe.

Reaching out, Ramsey caressed
Nicola
'
s forehead.

"
Don
'
t touch her, you bastard,
"
Malcolm
growled.
"
Haven
'
t you done enough?
"

The stricken look in Ramsey
'
s
eyes
reminded him vaguely of his own old torment. Suddenly he realized how he had been in Ramsey
'
s shoes ten
ye
ars ago, how his father had spoken those very words that even now haunted his memories. He discovered he couldn
'
t, wouldn
'
t put Ramsey through that same torture.

"
I-I apologize,
"
he choked out.
"
That was uncalled for. Here, hand her to me after I mount.
"
An unreasonable fear that if he let her go she would die swept through him. Shaking off the feeling, he reluctantly gave her up to Ramsey and swung onto his horse, Mohammed standing as still as a statue, as if he sensed the delicate balance of
Nicola
'
s life and her need for care. A moment later, she was in
Malcolm
'
s arms again.
"
Now get a doctor, for God
'
s sake—by gunpoint if you have to. Meet me at the manor.
"

"
Ye
s,
ye
s,
"
Ramsey said with a sniff and bolted through the crowd, amazingly swift and agile as he went.

Nicola
stirred in his arms.
"
Glissando
? Where
...
Glissando
? Allegro?"
she asked as she looked at
Malcolm
through droopy lids, her e
ye
s unfocused.

Relief swelled in his heart so large he thought he would burst with it.
"
Sweeting, you
'
re back with me. Thank God!
"

"
I want the pixies.
"

He knew her head must be throbbing. Gently, he brushed her forehead with his lips, savoring her and thanking his lucky stars that his fears didn
'
t come to pass, that she was still alive.
"
I would summon butterflies for you if I could.
"

"
Not butterflies,
just…
the little sprites.
"

He cradled her head.
"
Shhh—now, now,
Nicola
, my love, you
'
ve been knocked on the head. Sweeting, there is no such thing as pixies or
pixie
s or whatever you call them.
"

With an uncanny suddenness, her
eyes
opened as clear and bright as he
'
d ever seen them.
"
You don
'
t believe in magic, and you don
'
t believe in love,
"
she declared, then her
eyes
rolled back in her head and she passed out cold.

Malcolm
rode harder, regretting the chance at happiness that he
'
d so carelessly thrown
away. He might never have the chance to tell her
she was wrong. He
did
believe in love. Only, he believed too late.

It had been three days since the night of the rebellion.
Malcolm
stared at
Nicola
'
s pale face, so peaceful in unnatural sleep. Why didn
'
t she awaken? It seemed as if a slight bloom was in her cheeks. He often wondered as he sat by her bedside these days and nights if by sheer willpower he could rouse her. Sometimes he would stare at her so long and hard that he thought he saw her lashes flutter. But he only imagined the motion.

"
How is she?
"

Malcolm
looked up and was vaguely surprised to see Lady Teresa.
"
Come to gloat?"

She stiffened,
and then
visibly forced her shoulders to relax.
"
No, I
'
ve come to apologize. I
'
m sorry for all the
ye
ars of blaming you for William
'
s death. I
'
ve been distraught. In truth, I have been wallowing in my own guilt.
"

He didn
'
t want to listen, didn
'
t want to concentrate on what she was telling him.
Nicola
'
s strength waned, and he wanted to focus on willing his lifeline into his wife. But he found himself drawn into Teresa
'
s conversation.
"
What guilt?
"

"
William and I had a terrible row the night before because I wanted to go to London, but he wanted to stay at Windmere. I wouldn
'
t talk to him
the
day he left with you to go hunting. That is how he died, with me holding a ridiculous grudge, and I never was able to tell him how much I loved him.
"

"
Why are you telling me all this now?
"

"
Don
'
t you know? I had to come. I had to tell.
Nicola
opened my
eyes
, showed me how petty and cynical I have become. She said you and I needed to reconcile, to reminisce about the precious times we had with William so that we can know deep in our hearts how much he appreciated our love for him.
"
She looked into his
eyes
.
"
So we can heal.
"

The world spun, and
Malcolm
realized that
Nicola
'
s powerful character, her indomitable spirit, were at work even now
, even though
she knocked at death
'
s door.

Malcolm
jerked when Lady Teresa grasped his hand. She held on tight.
"
Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me? To help me remember all the enjoyable times we had together as a family?
"

"
For
Nicola
...
"
His voice broke.
"
For
Nicola
I can do anything.
"
Her potent will pulled at his heart, his very soul—that incredible power that could turn warlocks into saints, trolls into pixies, devils into angels, could be felt even now as she lay on the brink of death. The knowledge humbled him, made him want to howl at the moon, scream at the stars, for his devastating emptiness of having lost such a great love—more powerful than money or any foul deeds his misdirected mind could have devised.