Closer: A Novella (7 page)

She cut him off and swallowed him up with those liquid brown eyes. “You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach before you get on a roller coaster? The line is long and everyone is waiting their turn. You hear the screams and convince yourself that it’s no big deal—until you see the green faces of the people getting off, like maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. I’m in that line, Kane. Except I’m not able to get out or cut ahead. All I can do is wait my turn. That roller coaster is roaring in my head and I’m scared.”

Caroline blew out a shaky breath and Kane tensed when she slid closer. He lifted his arm and draped it around her bare shoulder. She didn’t just accept the invitation; Caroline molded herself against him until it felt like they were one. The flat of her left hand slid across his stomach and balled up the black T-shirt on his side, as if he might try to escape.

“You’re so warm,” she said in a small voice. “There’s just not enough of you to wrap myself up in.”

Those words incited an unexpected need to protect this woman. He discreetly dipped his nose in her soft brown hair and took a shallow breath. It made him want to go back and stomp on the ruthless bastard who did this to her. What could he possibly say that would offer her any comfort?

“Hey, what if I tried to transfer some of my emotional energy to heal you?”

“Won’t work,” she countered. “You know the rules.”

“It works with strong emotions,” he insisted.

“Yes,” she agreed, lifting her stubborn chin. “But the only Sensors who are ever successful at it are loved ones. We can lift, store, and transfer—but it takes something far more powerful to convert it into healing energy. That only comes from love. It won’t work if you just sit there and think of your dead puppy or your first breakup.”

“Have you tried it? I don’t remember seeing that written down in the manual.”

“
Here
we go,” she interrupted. “Mr. Know-It-All thinks that he’s going to part the Red Sea and work miracles like no other Sensor has done before.”

“Don’t do that,” he muttered. “You’re the one suggesting that I asphyxiate you with a feather pillow. I’m just offering an alternative to suicide.”

“Don’t do
that
.” Caroline pushed him away and guilt flushed her face like burgundy roses. Their hands were still joined, but Kane felt a wall go up and divide them.

Fear makes a person contemplate things they wouldn’t normally do—he got that. She was entitled to a weak moment, so he backed off. He couldn’t imagine having to go through something like this alone, and maybe that’s why he wasn’t in a rush to leave.

The pretty blue dress draped over her knees like a breath of summer air. She had lovely legs and he especially liked the faded freckles on her shoulders. Probably something she got as a kid. And why did the image of her in pigtails punching all of the boys appeal to him so much? He smirked inwardly as his thoughts skated away from him.

Caroline was a bit like his spirited little sister—they both were strong-minded women with soft hearts. Sunny was never physically aggressive with anyone, but she could put the hurt on a man with that mouth of hers. Sunny was a different brand of girl and the only family he had, even if they weren’t related by blood.

“What are you thinking about?” Caroline wondered aloud. “Your expression just switched off for a minute there. What’s on your mind?”

“My sister. I was thinking about my sister.”

“Oh,” she quietly replied. “What’s she like?”

“You remind me of her, except that Sunny doesn’t cuss.”

Caroline snorted. “Well, jeez. You make me sound like a foul-mouthed sailor.”

He lightly squeezed her hand. “I’ve only heard her swear once. That’s not to say she doesn’t have a rare moment or two; it’s just that the words are pretty tame. She probably doesn’t remember this story. It happened when she was a little thing, I’d say about three or four years old. Just guessing.” He shrugged.

Caroline curled up her legs and pulled the dress over her knees. “What happened?”

Damn, he hated the memory, but it felt good to confess a part of his past that had bothered him for so many years. Most women didn’t want to hear stories like this, but Caroline did. Kane rubbed his thick arm and rewound the hands of time.

“Sunny was a pretty baby with blond curls, and spoiled as hell. At least, she was at that age. Not in the way that gets a kid a bunch of toys and junk—our parents were cheap—but they sided with her a lot and she always got her way. Things changed when we got older. I think my mom thought having Sunny would fix what was wrong in our family. So, I was jealous of her, since I was the firstborn.”

“Naturally,” Caroline agreed.

“She didn’t talk until she was three and she picked up this really annoying habit of parroting everything I did or said. It drove me fucking crazy,” Kane said with a chuckle. “I was a snot to her. I’d slap my face so that she’d do it to herself and stop copying me. Damn, I hate that I did that,” he murmured, suddenly revolted by his memories of indirectly harming his sister.

“You were just a kid,” Caroline offered. “She didn’t know better and neither did you.”

He sighed, moving on. “Well, I started learning all kinds of new vocabulary.”

“Where do boys learn that stuff?” she asked with amusement.

Kane lifted their hands before dropping them onto his lap. “Magazines we shouldn’t be reading, older brothers, movies, friends at school—you name it. I taught Sunny to say one of those words and—” Kane thumped his head against the wall punishingly.

“What was the word?”

“We had a cat and I thought it would be funny to teach her the
other
word for cat.” He flicked his eyes nervously at her. “You know—pussy. Anyhow, one night after her bath I went into the bathroom and saw that no one had drained the tub. The cat wandered in and I tossed it in the water for a laugh. It went wild, almost tearing the shower curtain down as it scrambled to get out of there. I was laughing my ass off when it flew through the house like a bat out of hell. There was a huge trail of water leading to the kitchen and mom came out yelling. Sunny walked in right when it happened and she started to cry, thinking that I’d hurt the cat. The next thing I knew, Sunny ran into the living room yelling, ‘
Kane got my kitty wet.
’”

He rubbed his eyes as if he could erase the memory. “Only, it wasn’t
kitty
that she said.”

“Oh,” Caroline said in a quiet breath.

“My dad had a conniption and flew off the sofa. It was one of those split second moments as a kid when you realize you’ve crossed a line and you’re about to get a spanking. An innocent joke escalated into pandemonium.”

“How old were you?”

“Old enough to know better. Ten. I turned around to run into my bedroom and lock the door when I caught sight of him going after Sunny. His anger just exploded and she was the nearest person to him. Dad was never a violent man to us when we were kids, outside of the usual spankings; he was a drunk who used to berate our mother. It was a vicious cycle and she never left him. When he grabbed Sunny’s arm, I snapped.”

Unable to scrape his fingers through his hair, Kane slowly closed his eyes and spoke in a dark voice. “Over my dead body was he going to lay a finger on my sister. The next thing I knew, I was charging through the house like one of those bulls in Spain. Mom went into hysterics, and he swung me against the wall.”

“Oh my God,” she breathed.

“Then the predictable bastard left the house to get drunk at the bar. Sunny may not have been my real sister, but I saved her from getting the beating of her life.”

Kane shook his head, remembering how destroyed he’d felt as a kid when his father had handled him roughly and lost control.

“Sunny didn’t know what was going on. Dad’s finger had left a small bruise on her arm, so after that, I did right by my sister. I realized that the stupid stuff I’d chosen to teach her could get her into trouble someday. That night changed me. I made sure that Sunny never cussed, and that she always had what she needed. We still had our fights like any brother and sister, but I looked out for her. It’s been well over twenty years and the scared look in her blue eyes when I tucked her in that night still haunts me.”

A thoughtful moment passed and Kane appreciated the silent reflection.

“Does she live here?”

“No,” he replied guiltily. “Last time I saw her was in Texas. That’s not where we grew up, but it’s where she moved when she left home. We haven’t seen each other in over a year; it’s probably about time for me to pay her a visit. She’s stubborn about taking my money, so I sometimes leave it with her best friend.”

“You’re a good brother, Kane. Despite what you think, you brought her up right and still look out for her. Not many ten year olds have the foresight to see how their actions can indirectly impact the kind of person someone else becomes.”

Caroline slid her left hand across his leg and his muscles locked up. It was instinct, the same way you might flinch before someone slaps you. Except all he felt were her smooth fingers on top of his jeans, gently stroking as if she wasn’t aware that she was doing it.

Man, was he aware. A lump formed in his throat and he distracted himself from his thoughts by staring at the highlights in her hair.

“You said she wasn’t your real sister. What did you mean by that?” Caroline asked.

Another sore topic.

He inhaled loudly and sighed. “Talking about my past isn’t helping your situation,” he said, glancing around the empty room. The walls looked like they were made of smog and it was noticeably dimmer. The light left a warm, satiny gold blanket across the floor, as if the sun was fighting against being puffed out like a flame.

“Maybe not, Kane, but when you talk it calms me down. Please don’t stop; I really want to know more about you.”

“I’ve never told anyone this,” he began.

She snorted. “Who am I going to tell? Really, Kane. Think of me as your confessional, because you have zero chance of this ever getting out. Was she adopted?”

“No, I was. They were human.”

Caroline sat up and gave him a pensive stare. “What?” she almost gasped. “You were raised by humans?”

Might as well have been wolves
, he thought to himself. They were genetically different. Kane hadn’t experienced what his body was truly capable of, nor learned how to refine those abilities at an early age. As a result, it became a detriment to him. It was like being born a thoroughbred and living in a confined pen until you were mature. No one had taught him how to harness his skills, so he’d been running wildly out of control while the others stayed on course at a steady pace.

“Yeah, my parents were human,” he said, trying to avoid her inquisitive eyes.

At some point, Caroline had inched closer to him. Most women looked at him with desire, but she looked at him in a completely new way that he wasn’t comfortable with accepting. It was invasive and personal.

“What happened to your real parents?”

Kane made a frown that was the equivalent of a shrug. “That’s something I’ll never have an answer to. I was always different, and my dad figured it out early on. It wasn’t until high school when I found out just
how
different I was from everyone else. By then, I’d stopped touching people because of a few bad experiences I’d had with a couple of girls I dated.”

“Why would that be bad?” she wondered aloud.

He quirked a brow. “I’d never felt sexual desire directly from another person and it scared the shit out of me. One girl was a little more experienced than I thought, and when I touched her neck during our first kiss, she was definitely thinking about someone else.”

“Slut,” Caroline muttered.

Kane tried unsuccessfully to contain his smirk.

“Another time, we were planning a garage sale and everyone was digging through the house to find old junk we didn’t need anymore. I went through my mom’s cedar chest and found a small blanket. The minute I touched that thing…” Kane pressed his lips tightly together and Caroline turned his chin to look at her.

“Tell me,” she said.

“My abilities amped up. You know how strong death is. It clings.”

She nodded, no longer sitting up but lying against his chest with her ear pressed over his anxious heart.

“I accidentally touched a drop of blood on the blanket and experienced the residual pain of my birth mother’s death. I confronted my mom and it was one fucked up conversation. She always knew something was odd about me, and when I told her about my ability, she didn’t hide the lie anymore. My mom still doesn’t know about our world; most humans can’t wrap their heads around the fact that supernaturals exist.
I
didn’t even know this world existed until much later. Anyhow, my explanation only confused her. But she was open with me and confessed everything about my birth. Maybe it was the guilt of carrying the secret for so many years.”

This was harder to talk about than he expected. Most Breed didn’t associate with humans unless they had to, but Kane didn’t share that mindset. He didn’t see them as that much different outside of a few extra abilities the Breed had. Yet, something as simple as his upbringing had made his life so damn complicated.