Closing The Gap (Dangerous Pasts, #1) (22 page)

Lake climbed on top of him and straddled his waist.  She grabbed his hands and put them above his head.

“Keep them up here, where I can see them and don’t move.”

“Oh, my God, Lake.  Slide down a couple of inches and feel what you do to me.”

“Not yet.”

“What happens if I move my hands?”

“You will be labeled a very naughty boy and will have to be punished.  Every time you move your hands, I’ll start over at the top of your head.  I would recommend that you behave unless you want to prolong the torture.”

“I’ll behave under one condition.”

“Hmm?”  Lake had already moved her hands to delve into his hair and massage his scalp with her fingernails. 

“Before you start, please move down a few inches and grind against me for a minute.  I need relief or I’m going to have a coronary.”

“Okay.”  She ran her fingertips over his eyebrows and down the sides of his face, neck and shoulders.  Then, Lake slid her body down the inches that he had requested and rubbed her core against him, barely touching.

“That is not enough, Lake.  You’re going to have to rub me harder.”  As he spoke, his hands flew towards her core as if they had a mind of their own.

“I can see you are going to be a problem tonight.”  She shoved his arms back up over his head and settled back into her place on top of him.  A pathetic moan escaped his lips and provided his only response.  If he thought his frustration couldn’t get worse, it could.  Lake had a stubborn streak and Josh’s distractions were keeping her from what she wanted.  Him.  “Really, Adams?  You’re not at all living up to your tough reputation.  What a glaring disappointment.  Man up.”

“You’re killing me here, woman!”

Tough love hadn’t brought success so she tried a different tactic.  “I can see you are used to being in charge.  Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to be able to give that up, just this once?  Besides, it would make me so happy.”  His clenched eyelids opened a sliver just in time so she could bat her long eyelashes at him in a hopeful way.

She could become addicted to being in control of his body; all wide shoulders, long legs and steely power.  As she started to move her hands again over his chest and torso, and her hips over his groin, she heard the deep breath of concession that she’d been waiting for since he’d hit his back.  She could relax now and enjoy herself.  At last, he was going to surrender to her.

****

H
is skin felt like the entire fury of hell had engulfed his body and if he spontaneously combusted, there would be no reason to call the coroner.  Let the cause of death read sexual frustration.  Didn’t she know what he needed like air, like a heartbeat, like everything?  Her touches, soft as an angels wings flapping through a cloud pissed him off.  Alcoholism could be his new pastime and it wouldn’t be enough to numb the raging lust to a reasonable level.  Would it be possible to emulate David Blaine and escape from his own body?

“Lake, please.”

She made no visible response and continued to caress him at her leisure and her own pace.  Her hands were all over him and where her hands weren’t, her hair was.  That silky hair, my God, it felt like a million tiny feathers gliding over his fevered skin.  He wished for ice cubes instead.  It took every ounce of strength he possessed to keep his hands from wrapping around her and easing the tumultuous ache by flipping her over and pounding into her.  The need had never been this god-awful.  Ever.  He wondered if they made love a thousand times if it would start to recede.

He had to keep his eyes tightly clenched as she slid towards his feet.  He couldn’t look at her.  Everyone knew men were visual.  Christ, the sight of her along with the feel of her at the same time would be the end.  The only thing that kept him hanging on by the thinnest thread happened to be the blessed blackness behind his eyes.  He tried to keep his breathing deep and calm and struggled to relax and enjoy her touch without fantasizing about or anticipating what came next. 
What is coming next
?

Lake tugged his boxer briefs down and away from his body so cooler air flowed over him.  Helpful, but not enough.  Then her hands were on him.  Gone were the soft touches.  She stroked him hard, like he needed, like he craved.  She’d known the entire time yet still she teased him, making him pay for his tenacious inability to relinquish control.  If she only knew, this night was the first time in his entire life he’d ever done this.  Laid still and prone, at a woman’s mercy.  The perceived weakness cost him, but he loved her and he found it building, expanding with each passing second.  Thank God he hadn’t let it fly from his lips.  It was too soon.

Lake tortured him with her hands.  It was marvelous but he wanted her mouth.  He craved it.  He’d dreamt about it since the night of the bachelor auction.  Josh thought he would bust out of his skin when he finally felt her soft, wet mouth envelop him.  She licked him with gentle pressure up and down his shaft paying special attention to the head.  Then, she sucked him deep into her mouth.  Her hands were on him at the same time.  Holy shit, he wouldn’t last long but he wanted to, so very badly.  The nights spent dreaming about her lush lips wrapped around him were nothing to the actual experience.  He wanted so badly to savor every last second but he had to start thinking about something else, anything else.  She lived on a pedestal in his mind, he wasn’t going to spend in her mouth. 

“Lake, you have to stop.  I can’t hold out much longer.”

“Josh, you don’t have to.  Let go, please.  Just this once.”

“No, I can’t.  You don’t understand ...”

Didn’t she comprehend what he was saying?  Holy mother of God, she had him all the way down the back of her throat and swirled her tongue around him while her hand rubbed every inch of skin her mouth left exposed.  Out of control emotions bubbled to the surface.  It felt incredible, indescribable.  What did she mean?  In that instant, he had to be sure so he made an error in judgment.  He snapped his eyes all the way open and peered at her face.  The sight of her with her mouth and hair all over him in her sheer red underwear was all it took.  For the first time, he let go and gave himself over completely to a woman.  The orgasm ripped through him, so intense, he almost passed out.  Josh Adams, bad boy extraordinaire, had seen stars, and finally seen the light.

S
unday morning, Lake rested on top of Josh in the large Jacuzzi tub as they soaked together, her back pressed against his front.  His arms wrapped around her and his long fingers traced gentle circles on her stomach.  After another round of morning lovemaking, they were both spent.  Lake had lost track of the amount of times he’d brought her to release over the past three days.  She was grateful and blissful for the first time in years and it felt incredible to just relax together in silence.  Josh enveloped her in a cocoon of protection.

"I want more hot water.  Are you okay with that?"

"Sure.  That sounds good." 

Lake inched her toes towards the water faucet and turned the knob for hot clockwise as she allowed warmer water to flow into the tub.

"Lake, what happened to your legs?"  Josh had tempered his deep voice and Lake suspected the question had not been asked lightly.  He wanted her to finally disclose what she’d been through to cause scars like that.  Since Lake had never felt so cherished and safe before, she conceded.  She couldn’t possibly end up more exposed after speaking the words than she was naked in this tub with him right now.  It was time.

“I’d been running through a field of cut hay.  My shoes were gone and I got the cuts because my skin lacked protection.  I didn’t even feel the wounds at the time.  My ex-husband had a gun and a knife.  I was running for my life.”

“Christ Almighty.”  He sounded tortured, his voice just above a whisper. “Maybe you should start at the beginning.”  A slight tension radiated from his body and came through his arms and hands as they stayed cloaked around her, comforting her.  She hoped she’d be able to complete the whole story before he became upset.  If he didn’t, she might never have the courage to tell it again.  She sighed and settled even deeper into his embrace making every attempt to keep the storm of her tears at bay.

“Back in 2000, I met a man through mutual friends.  They lived on the neighboring hobby farm back in Minnesota.  I attended a party at their house and my ex was there.  We hit it off; we had a lot in common.  He seemed to love animals and had experience with horses.  He liked the rural life and owned a successful business as a sales rep.  We dated quite some time before he asked me to marry him, about three years.  During that time, there were red flags but I pushed them aside like any naïve twenty-five year old would try to do.  For the most part, he was charming and supportive so I just figured that no one is perfect.  We all have flaws.”

Her voice gained strength as she continued, hoping his silence represented respect and not horror at the subject matter.  “We built a new house together right before our wedding.  It was July and we were to be married in early September.  I’d never lived with a man before so I expected there to be an adjustment period.  Still, peculiar things happened often enough that I ended up scared that it was all a horrible mistake.  I felt so alone.  Even Summer couldn’t support me.  She’d never been a fan of our relationship from the beginning.  He started to show me hints of a temper and a tendency towards violence.  Something was off but I put on a brave face because my mom had already paid out a ton of money for my wedding.  It’s just so hard to cancel something of that magnitude.  Especially, when you’re not sure it isn’t all in your head.”

She paused to take a few deep breaths.  Josh’s hands continued to sooth her body.  He leaned his head down to kiss her temple.

“I can’t believe how brave you are.  You don’t have to keep going if you don’t feel that you can.”

“No, I want to.  You deserve to know what happened.  It changed who I am.”  Lake went on.  “Once we got married, I found a medicine bottle in our bathroom for an anti-psychotic.  He’d been diagnosed with manic depressive disorder and hid that information from me all the years we’d dated.  A history of mental illness ran in his family.  One thing that manic depressives are known for is going off their medication when they are in a manic state because they’re on top of the world.  Then, the walls tumble down around them.  The fall out happened over and over throughout our marriage.  His violent episodes and fits of temper escalated.  I became afraid to leave the house because he threatened to kill my sister and my dogs.  He always sensed that she didn’t care for him and didn’t trust him, so he lashed out at her through me.  It got so bad I couldn’t leave our house unless he was at work.  If I left him home alone with the dogs, he abused them and the situation would worsen.”

“Almost two years ago, I’d decided to visit my mom and my retired show horses at our family hobby farm when he showed up waving a gun in my face.  He was angry that I’d left our house with a suitcase as if I was leaving for good, but his violent outbursts had amplified.  I was terrified.  He was completely out of it and his eyes looked straight through me.  He took pleasure in telling me he’d been having sex with his best friend’s wife.  That I was ugly, fat and a dead lay who no one would ever want, especially not him.  He wanted me ‘out of the way’ so he could marry her and bring her into our home that day.  He went over the edge during that moment because he trained the gun on my head and said maybe it would be best if he just killed me so I wouldn’t be such a pain in his ass.”

Lake inched her toes up to run more hot water.  She needed a break before continuing and her limbs were starting to feel weak and rubbery.

“I’d never been that scared in my life and never been threatened with a weapon.  I panicked, with no clue what to do.  Since we were alone in the yard, I ran, purely on instinct.  Escape was my only conscious thought in that moment.  I was too far from the house to call for help and cell service is hit or miss that far out in the country.  I thought if I could get to the pasture where the horses grazed, they might offer me protection.  While I ran, a bullet grazed my ear which caused this scar.”  She lifted her hair to show him. 

“I lost a handful of my hair when he grabbed me from behind and pulled me backwards. It had been ripped from my scalp.  At that point, he ran out of bullets.  That was a miracle in itself because he’s an excellent marksmen.  I guess I did an adequate job of turning myself in to a moving target but I’m still amazed I didn’t get the back of my head blown off.  He no longer had the ability to murder me with the gun at that point but he still had a knife so he sliced my abdomen open that day and left me for dead.  It took every ounce of strength I possessed to crawl back to the house for help.  I lost so much blood, I barely made it and stayed in the hospital for weeks.  During the surgery, I lost my ability to ever have children.  For the past two years, I’ve just been trying to get through my life without being concerned for my physical safety.  I’m sorry I had a hard time trusting you in the beginning.  Duck and cover has been my mode of operation for so long.  It’s hard to break that.”

Lake felt Josh’s chest rise and fall as he let the huge breath he’d been holding in towards the end of her confession.

“I need the mother fucker’s name so I can kill him.”

Lake ran her hands up and down his legs as she now became the one doing the consoling.  “He’s been locked in a secured mental health facility ever since that day.  At first, I thought it would be the battle that no one ever walks away from.  I’ve started to move forward and I’m much safer now.  Especially, now that I have you.”