Cold April (21 page)

Even so, above their heads, the davits lifted a lifeboat from its position and guided it toward the railing. Stewards, and others of the ship’s crew, stood nearby ready to help passengers board.

“
I’m not getting into that flimsy thing,” a woman said. “We’re safer on this big ship.”

“
You must get in,” a steward said to her. “We must fill the lifeboats.” He pleaded with her. “It’s perfectly safe. This is a new ship and these are new lifeboats. They’re very sound.”

Another woman spoke up. “But the water ... The water is so far down. What if the lifeboat doesn’t go straight? What if it should tip?”

A male passenger spoke up. “It’s not that far down to the water.”

“
Sixty-five feet if it’s an inch,” another man shouted.

“
No, no, I won’t get in,” the first woman insisted.

The steward near her pleaded some more. “Look, there’s a man in the boat already. Someone has to man the oars, now, don’t they? Nothing to be afraid of.”

Still hesitating, the woman looked around. “Well ...”

“
I’ll go with you,” a man offered. “I’ll hold your hand, if you like.”

Holding tightly to the steward on one side and the kindly gentleman on the other, the woman put one foot in front of the other. They stepped over the side of the lifeboat and, as the steward stepped back on the deck, the two passengers took seats.

“
See, that wasn’t so bad.”

A few others decided to do the same, and Richard moved Beth and Kathleen closer to the front of a small queue that formed.

“
Stay here,” he said. “I’ll be right back. If they want you to get into a lifeboat, do it.”

“
But, Richard—” Beth began.

“
I’m only going ’round to the port side. Other lifeboats will be launched from there and perhaps it will be faster.”

He stooped to kiss Kathleen and then brushed a kiss on Beth’s cheek. “I’m sure this is just a precautionary measure.”

After he disappeared into the crowd, Beth looked down at Kathleen and tried to smile, but the corners of her mouth refused to turn up. Although the many people surrounding her kept most of the cold air at bay, she felt as if her face had frozen into a permanent mask of disbelief and dejection.

Kathleen didn’t look up. She, too, seemed caught in the harsh web of circumstances she could neither control nor understand.

Beth stooped down to try to comfort her and discovered the child’s face wet with tears. “Dearest, don’t cry. Your father will be back very soon, and then we shall all get into a very nice lifeboat. You shall have another adventure to tell Aunt Charlotte and Aunt Anne when we write them a letter from New York.”

“
Toby,” Kathleen wailed. “I forgot Toby.”

Beth held her breath for an instant. She understood the importance of the doll but, just at this particular point in time, she wished Kathleen didn’t misplace it so often or, better, that she had not brought the doll on board the ship to begin with. She racked her brain for a solution.

“
Where did you leave Toby?”

“
In bed. She was with me in bed and then you waked me and we had to hurry and get dressed.”

Of course. Beth realized she should have remembered the doll. Taking care of Kathleen meant taking care of her doll as well. The trip had already shown her Kathleen apparently depended on Toby to ease the loneliness of leaving the only home and family she’d known and come to love. She was too young to appreciate the advantages offered to her father and, ultimately, herself, of a new life in a new country.

She put her arms around the trembling child. “Don’t worry. You’ll see Toby again. We’re just going to wait here for a little while, and then they’ll tell us we can go back to our cabins and you’ll go back to bed.”

“
But Pa-pa said we’re to get in the little boat.”

“
Yes, dear, but perhaps it will only be for a short time and then we’ll get back on the ship.”

“
No, we won’t,” she wailed. “I want Toby now. She has to come with me.” Her voice choked with tears; she shook with fear and frustration.

Beth straightened, and Kathleen’s arms went immediately around her legs. She cried into the woolen coat Beth wore.

A decision had to be made: would she stay waiting for Richard to return while Kathleen cried her heart out, or would she fetch the doll? She glanced around but saw no sign of Richard. Other passengers nearby voiced less optimistic predictions about the fate of the ship and themselves, making Kathleen even more frightened. Perhaps it would be better to remove her, at least temporarily, from the scene.

Besides, their cabin was on B Deck, only two decks below where they now stood. Surely she could run down there, retrieve the doll, and be back before Richard even knew she’d gone. No, that would never do. She couldn’t leave Kathleen, even for an instant. The girl would have to go with her.

She pulled Kathleen’s hands away from her legs and took one hand in her own. “Come,” she said in a firm tone, “we’ll get Toby and come back before your father knows we’ve gone. Hurry.”

Kathleen looked up with glassy eyes but stopped crying.

“
Let’s go,” Beth said.

Pushing through the crowd, they emerged near the staircase, and, in spite of the number of people ascending, found not too much difficulty going down. They saw even fewer passengers on B Deck where they entered their room and Kathleen pounced on Toby, who lay on the pillow.

The electric lights in all three of their rooms still blazed, and Beth had a sudden urge to turn them off, as she usually did when leaving a room. This time she did not. She wanted no darkness around her. Her heart still pounded from fear and the awesome responsibility of taking care of a little girl. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself for the child’s sake.

“
You can stop crying, darling. Now you have Toby safe and sound.”

“
Thank you, Mama.” Kathleen clutched her doll and again clung to Beth’s legs. “I love you.”

Beth stood still, her mouth open. Mama. Kathleen had called her “Mama.” The word shocked and thrilled her. The realization that Richard’s daughter considered her like a mother brought tears to her own eyes.

“
I love you, too, darling, but now we must go back. Your father may be looking for us already.”

Kathleen didn’t move, except to raise her head and look up at Beth. “The kittens.”

“
What?”

“
The kittens. Jenny had kittens and they are too tiny to walk. We must get them and take them in the little boat.”

Beth pulled Kathleen away from her legs and squatted in front of her. “Kathleen, we don’t know where the kittens are, and there’s no time to look for them. Your father ...”

“
I know where they are. I’ll get them.”

Before Beth could rise from her awkward position, Kathleen had run out of the door and down the corridor. Beth had no choice but to follow.

“
Stop.” She lifted her long coat so she could run faster. “Kathleen, please stop. You must not go anywhere else on the ship.”

Still unheeding, the child plunged down the stairway again. “We have to save the kittens.”

Unhampered by a long coat, since hers came only to her knees, the child bounded down another flight and then another.

Beth raced after her. Why go so far? The third-class general room took up the stern portion of C Deck, only one below. Why did the child keep going down? Her memory of the previous two days haunted her. She had been talking to Harry that afternoon, the afternoon he flew the kite, and Kathleen told her Jenny had had her kittens. The children must have gone to a lower deck to see them and Beth hadn’t realized she was gone. She should have known that. Her conscience pricked. Her fear turned to terror.

She rounded the corner of yet another stairway, this time with a sign bearing the inscription “E Deck.” At last she saw Kathleen. The little girl had stopped on the last step above the deck. But there was no entrance to E Deck. An iron gate blocked the way and several third-class passengers stood behind it, wearing heavy clothing and life vests, clutching suitcases, bags and other belongings in their arms.

Those in back yelled for someone to open the gate, but those in front could do nothing but rattle it and shout, “It’s locked. We can’t get out.”

Chapter 22

“
Kathleen,” Beth called, “where are you going?”

The little girl came back up several steps to where Beth waited. “I wanted to see the kittens. I thought I could go this way.”

“
But the gate is locked.”

A man behind the gate shouted at them. “Can you unlock the gate?”

“
No,” Beth called back. “I’m ... I mean, I haven’t a key. I’m just a passenger.”

“
Can you find someone who does have a key?” he asked.

“
I don’t know. I’ll try.”

She took Kathleen’s hand and led her back up the stairs. “We must go back now. Your father will be frantic with worry.”

“
But the kittens ...”

“
I’m sorry, but you can’t see the kittens. You’ll just have to trust that someone else has taken care of them.”

“
But they don’t belong to anyone.”

“
And they don’t belong to you. Your father ...”

“
I have to save them.” Kathleen wailed again. “I was there, truly I was. I’m the only one who knows where they are.”

Beth took a deep breath. In for a penny ... They were down below-deck now, perhaps very close to the kittens. Another minute or two wouldn’t hurt. She looked into Kathleen’s eyes and spoke firmly. “I will give you two minutes to find those kittens. I don’t care if you won’t love me anymore, but my job is to save you, and we must go back to the boat deck right away.”

“
I can find them. I know I can,” she pleaded.

Beth took a deep breath and spoke quietly. “When you went to see the kittens yesterday ...” She stopped, realizing that must have been two days before. “I mean, Saturday, how did you get there?”

“
Through the door.”

“
But which door? You were on the deck watching Mr. Palmer fly the kite and playing the game with the other children. Who told you Jenny had had her kittens?”

“
Emma.”

“
And did she take you to see them?”

“
Yes.”

“
Can you remember which way you went from the deck?”

Kathleen frowned for a moment. “I think so.”

It wasn’t what Beth wanted to hear, but Kathleen gave her no time to ask more questions. She turned about and ran through the doorway to the outside deck. Beth followed and then both paused for an instant, surprised by the still, frigid air. Almost at once, Kathleen ran to another doorway, which led to a corridor Beth hadn’t seen before. They descended narrow stairs leading down two levels. A maze of strange corridors later, and they were in a wide passageway lined with doors leading to small cabins for third-class travelers. Kathleen opened one of the doors.

“
The kittens were in here,” she said. “In a box on the floor. I ’member.”

No kittens. No box. No passengers. However, the floor was damp, and Beth saw a film of water seeping under the thin wall connecting the cabin to the next one nearer the bow of the ship. She shivered.

A frantic young woman burst through the open doorway. “’Ave you seen Violet?”

“
No,” Beth answered. “We’re looking for Jenny’s kittens.”

“
Oh them. Katy took ’em. Put ’em in a satchel, she did, goin’ to take ’em with her, she said.”

Beth turned to Kathleen. “You see. Someone has saved the kittens, so you needn’t worry anymore.” She led Kathleen out of the cabin behind the young woman looking for Violet. Back in the corridor, she turned right at the first opportunity.

“
No,” Kathleen said, “that’s not the way.”

“
But we don’t want to go out on that deck again! We need to go to the boat deck. Or anywhere but down here.” The thought of the water she’d seen made her heart race.

Before she could start off on her own, she heard noises, and soon they found themselves in a crowd of passengers going toward the third-class deck they’d crossed earlier. Beth recognized a steward’s uniform on the young man at the head of the procession.

“
Steward,” she called to him, “are you going toward the boat deck?”

He turned his head toward her but continued trudging, his little band of followers close behind. “Aye, but it’s a bit complicated. We must go through the after well deck, then to the second-class library, into first class, past the surgeon’s office and the first-class dining saloon, toward the Grand Staircase.”

“
Oh, I know how to go to the boat deck from there. May we join you?”

“
Aye. Tag along.”

Beth and Kathleen kept close to the steward. “We ran into some people trying to get through a locked gate on E Deck. Can you unlock that for them?” Beth asked.

“
We have no locked gates. Probably it’s stuck, bein’ new, ya know, like everything else. When I go back, I’ll get it open. I’ve got to take another bunch up here this way.”

“
Why is there no direct route from third class to the boat deck?”