Cold Kiss (19 page)

Now, who knows? I’m feeling all of those things anyway.

“Wren, I want—”

I cut him off with a finger pressed to his lips. “Shhh.”

He blinks once, waiting, and I gather everything inside me, sweeping it all into my center where I can feel it grow into a deep pulse of power.
Sleep,
I think, focusing the unspoken word at him.
Sleep easy. I’ll wake you. Sleep until then. Sleep easy.

I’ve never done anything like this before, not without speaking aloud, but it seems to work. After a moment, he blinks again, sleepy-eyed now, and his arms begin to relax. In another minute he’s slumping, and I catch him before he falls like a mannequin onto the bed.

Once he’s down, he doesn’t move, even when I slide carefully off the mattress. I know he doesn’t feel the cold, that he’s not even really asleep, but I can’t help myself—I glance around until I find a big bath sheet on the floor that I can gently drape over him before I leave.

Gabriel walks out of the kitchen when I shut the door to his bedroom.

“Okay?”

I nod, even though it’s really not.

“You look like you’ve been awake for about a month,” he says, and brushes hair off my forehead.

“I hope you don’t say that to all the girls,” I say a little weakly, but I manage a smile. He doesn’t look much better, and when I glance at the clock it’s only six. I have no idea where to go, what to do, and all I can think of is passing out for the next week or so, and hoping to wake up and discover it was all a really bad dream.

“I made tea,” Gabriel says, and walks back to the kitchen to get a mug. It’s still steaming, and I carry it into the living room. It’s dark already, and without the lights on the room feels like a hiding place, safe and quiet and private.

I curl up on one end of the couch and balance the mug on my knee, letting the warmth bleed through to my hands. When Gabriel goes to turn on the one lamp, I say, “Don’t.”

He doesn’t question me. Instead, he comes to sit beside me, and looks at me for a minute before he pulls my feet up and starts to unlace my boots. They fall to the floor, two heavy thuds, and then it’s silent again.

There’s too much to talk about, so we don’t talk at all. But I’m grateful to have someone to sit with me in the dark.

WAKING UP ON GABRIEL’S SOFA IS STARTING TO feel weirdly familiar, which is something I definitely would not have guessed a week ago. My neck is stiff and my right foot is asleep, but I push into a sitting position as quietly as I can, because Gabriel is still out on the other end of the couch.

And Olivia is sitting on the coffee table, drinking what smells like strong coffee and smiling at me sort of sheepishly. “Hey,” she says.

I blink and swallow. The inside of my mouth feels like a sweaty sock, and I’m uncomfortably aware of the way my hair is sticking up in seventeen directions. “Um. Hey.”

“There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, if you want.” She smiles over her mug and glances at Gabriel. “He’ll probably be out for a while still. But there’s coffee and breakfast, too. You must be starving.”

I am, I realize as my stomach responds with a painful twist. I can’t remember the last time I ate anything substantial, and we must have fallen asleep crazy early. The last thing I remember is putting down my mug of tea and letting Gabriel gather me against him so I could tuck my head into his shoulder.

And Olivia must have come home and found us together. My cheeks heat suddenly, but she’s already getting up, calling softly over her shoulder, “There are doughnuts in the kitchen. But you’ll have to fight me for the last chocolate one.”

When it comes to cool, Olivia definitely takes the gold. By the time I finally make my way into the kitchen, my hair sort of tamed and my teeth brushed, she has a huge mug of coffee poured for me and the doughnuts arranged on a plate. I pull out the stool at the breakfast bar and climb onto it, not sure what to say.

She takes care of that, too, though. “So,” she says, topping off her coffee before leaning on the counter across from me. “How are you holding up?”

I blow across my mug and shrug. “Not at complete meltdown yet? But pretty close.”

“I figured.” She takes a deep breath and straightens up. “Gabriel told me most of it, and I sort of filled in the rest. Was he your first?”

I blink at her. “My … first?”

“Love,” she says, and her smile is a little sad. “Danny, I mean.”

Oh. I nod, and stare into my cup again, hoping the color on my cheeks isn’t too obvious.

“It’s a big deal. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Not that … well, you know.”

I meet her eyes again. “I do know. Now, anyway. I just … I didn’t even feel like I could breathe without him. I know that’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid at all.” She swallows the last of her coffee and sets down her mug, tilting her head before she speaks again. “Most people would want exactly what you wanted in the same situation, and most people wouldn’t understand that it could never work, either. It’s just that most of us can’t do what you can.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to go all Spiderman here, but ‘with great power comes great responsibility.’” Her grin is a bright flash in the dull gray light of the morning. “I think I might know how to help, though.”

“No way,” Gabriel says, and I bristle, straightening my spine to reach my full height. I really wish my full height wasn’t so pathetic, though.

“Who says you get a vote?”

“Come on, Olivia, you can’t think this is a good idea.” Gabriel turns to her, arms folded across his chest. He looks like a stubborn little kid with the crease mark from the couch cushion still striping one cheek and his shirt buttoned wrong.

“It was my idea,” she says mildly, “so I’m pretty okay with it, actually.”

“Olivia!”

“Enough, Gabriel,” I snap. His mouth falls open, but I keep going. “I have to take care of this. You get that, right? And I don’t have forever, not after yesterday. So we’re going. And we’ll see you when we get back and we
haven’t
been killed by Danny eating our brains or whatever it is you’re scared of.”

His jaw is set so tight I’m surprised he can get words out. “I just want to help.”

“But you can’t! I mean, thank you, but how exactly do you think it’s going to help to come with us, so Danny can freak out in the car? Or to leave Danny here with you, so he can freak out in the apartment?”

“I managed yesterday,” he protests, and glances toward his bedroom door.

Danny is still asleep, which is the only thing I can bring myself to call the way he hasn’t moved an inch on Gabriel’s bed since he lay down. He won’t be forever, though. I have no idea how long my spell will last, which is why he’s coming with Olivia and me.

“And you looked like you went ten rounds with Holyfield by the time I showed up,” I argue, trying not to shout. I’m already vibrating a little bit, nerves and hope and anxiety mixed like a foul soup in my gut. “You didn’t even have a moment to call and tell me he woke up.”

“Gabriel, sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is step back,” Olivia says quietly. She’s perched on the stool at the breakfast bar, bag and car keys already on the counter beside her.

“Spare me the touchy-feely yoga wisdom, Liv,” Gabriel snaps.

My mouth is the one to fall open this time, but Olivia just shakes her head and sighs. “He’s always pouty when he doesn’t get his way,” she says to me.

His answer to that is to stride out of the room and slam the bathroom door behind him.

“Oh, real mature. My hero.”

Olivia stops me before I head into Gabriel’s room for Danny. “He means well,” she says. “He really cares about you, and it’s hard for him that he can’t make this easier for you. Cut him a little slack, okay?”

Considering the things she could be saying to me about my own mistakes, it’s pretty mild, and I nod at her. I’m sure she doesn’t want me to, like, promise her my firstborn child or something, but at this point I’m so grateful for her understanding, I’m ready to at least build a shrine in her honor.

And if the person we’re going to see today can help me figure out what to do about Danny, I’m going to be building it pretty soon.

“Are you ready?” she says, and stands up.

“I think so.” I take a deep breath. “I mean, I just hope he wakes up in a cooperative mood.” I want to say that I wish I could be sure he’ll wake up at all, but that’s not entirely true, as horrible as it sounds.

So instead I open the door to Gabriel’s room and go in to sit on the side of the bed. Danny’s cold and still as always, his long lashes brushing his cheeks. One hand lies palm up on the comforter, and I take it in mine, rubbing it gently.

“Danny,” I whisper, leaning down to press the word to his lips. “Danny, wake up.”

He doesn’t stir, and for a moment it’s just as terrifying as Ryan’s phone call last summer, when I heard the word
dead
. It doesn’t matter that Danny and I can’t be together the way I wanted to, that everyone’s life would be easier if he just kept sleeping. I loved him, still love him, and God, this is going to suck so very much no matter what.

This time, though, I want a chance to say good-bye.

“Danny,” I say again, louder now, and concentrate on the energy inside me, drawing it tight and neat. “Wake up now, Danny.”

I have to scramble out of the way, because he sits up immediately, eyes opening slowly, as if he hasn’t been in something like a coma since almost six o’clock last night.

“Wren,” he says, and his smile is just as slow. But a moment later, it dims. “Wren.”

I wish there was a way to make him forget again, to take him back to the moments before the accident, when there was nothing but music on the radio and the wind through the open windows and the sweet rush of a few beers in his blood, but the thought of using more magic to rearrange what’s in his head also terrifies me.

“Hi.” I grip his hand tighter so he keeps looking at me, and I give my best smile. “Let’s go for a ride.”

Beside me on the backseat of Olivia’s car, Danny shuts his eyes and lets his head fall back. “It feels good. The air.”

I hold his hand tighter, meeting Olivia’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He didn’t question me when I explained that she was my friend, and he didn’t balk at the car, even though the last car he remembers must be Becker’s. As long as I’m holding on to him, he seems pretty calm, but it still feels dangerous to have him out like this. In the unforgiving daylight, he looks even paler than usual. His dark eyes are too flat, expressionless.

She turns her gaze back to the road, and I try not to squirm. We’ve already been driving for a half hour, and we have at least another thirty miles on the highway.

Rosalie Lanvin is the name of the woman she’s taking me to see. “A sort of family friend,” Olivia had explained, without really explaining at all. “She has the same kind of power you do, and she’s got a hell of a lot more experience with it.”

This morning, I jumped at the idea. And it’s not that I’ve changed my mind, not really. But the sensation of the car speeding down the highway, taking me farther and farther away from town, away from home, is a little sobering. I glanced at my silenced phone once after I got up, and found eight voice mail messages and eleven texts. I didn’t open any of them.

Skipping school is one thing, but disappearing all night? Part of me is surprised our neighborhood is still standing. My mother doesn’t even know Gabriel exists.

It’s frightening, feeling like I’ve been completely untethered, with no one in the world knowing where I am but Olivia and Gabriel. And what’s more, the woman we’re going to see could be the one to give me the answers I need to say good-bye to Danny forever. I want that, I do, but if I close my eyes the way Danny has, the sensation of the moving car feels a lot like speeding toward the moment when he’ll really be gone, for good this time.

Beside me, he shifts, moving closer, pulling my hand farther into his lap and covering it with his free one. His eyes are still closed, and I don’t want to disturb him.

But I take the opportunity to rest my head on his shoulder this time.

THE HOUSE WHERE OLIVIA PULLS UP IS A SAD little ranch with a weedy front yard and one shutter hanging like a crooked tooth beside the picture window. I wasn’t exactly expecting a big Gothic monstrosity with a turret, but the shabby suburban feel of this place is weird, too.

Olivia turns off the car and swivels around to face me. “Okay, she knows we’re coming, but I didn’t tell her too much. I figured it was better if you did that. And honestly, if she saw it for herself.”

“Okay.” I sit up, and Danny moves with me, gazing dully at the house through the passenger window.

“She’s a little … brash.” For the first time, Olivia looks unsure, her gray eyes cloudy with concern. “Just be open-minded. I didn’t get any of the supernatural bonuses in my family, but I’ve seen enough to know that Rosalie’s pretty good.”

She climbs out of the car, and Danny says, “Where are we?” His voice is too loud in the cramped backseat, and there’s a vague rumble of unease beneath it.

What am I supposed to say to that? Oh, we’re going to see a woman who may be able to help me get rid of you for good? Someone who has powers like mine but hopefully doesn’t use them to do shitty, stupid things?

“She’s a friend of Olivia’s, Danny. It’s okay.” I have to work to turn on my smile again, making it persuasive and completely confident, as if an hour’s drive to a complete stranger’s house is something we do every day.

Olivia is waiting on the front steps, and she motions for us to join her. Danny frowns, but when I get out of the car he follows me, his hand still tight around mine. I brush a smear of dirt off the back of his jeans, as if that’s going to make everything all right, make him look normal. His skin practically glows phosphorescent, it’s so pale.