Cold Snap (39 page)

“How wide do you think that lake is?”

“Less than a mile,” Sean said. “It’s probably cold—but if you want to go for a swim…?” He sounded skeptical and Lucy laughed.

“No, I’m not that crazy. But it looks fresh. It’ll be nice to have water to clean up.”

“And I have a test kit to make sure it’s safe to drink.”

“Like a Boy Scout, always prepared.”

She saw movement on the other side of the lake. “I think there’s someone over there.” She raised her eyebrows and teased, “I thought you said this was a
hidden
lake.”

Sean frowned and took out his binoculars. “I see a woman. No tent. Probably just a hiker. Let’s hope she goes away and leaves us alone.”

“And here I thought you were the social half of our relationship.”

He kissed her with several warm pecks. “Princess, I haven’t seen you in a month. I’m not sharing you this weekend.”

“So that’s why you brought me out in the middle of nowhere—too many people in D.C.?”

“Too many people in my house,” Sean grumbled. He lived and worked in a Georgetown town house with Lucy’s brother Patrick. Though Sean lived on the second floor and Patrick the top floor, her brother’s presence made romantic weekends difficult. “I figured an overnight camping trip in the backcountry would be different and fun. No responsibilities, no stress, just you and me and Mother Nature.”

Lucy laughed as they walked along the edge of the sloping cliff toward the south shore of the small lake. Sean had the area mapped, and though they had no cell phone reception, he had downloaded the maps and other information onto his tablet, and had brought a portable battery charger. His attachment to technology was almost obsessive. “I sure never pegged you for a back-to-nature type,” she said.

“Camping isn’t my first choice for a vacation, but on short notice and given less than two days to spend with you? I’ll take it. We’ll be settled and have the tent pitched by noon, then you’re all mine.”

Sean had picked up Lucy at Quantico at six that morning. She had to be back at the FBI Academy by six tomorrow night. The hike had stimulated Lucy’s appetite—she was now used to eating a full breakfast after her morning workout. The muffin Sean had brought for her to eat in the car hadn’t filled her up.

“As long as part of your plan is feeding me, I’m all yours,” Lucy said.

She breathed in deeply and smiled. Growing up, her family had gone camping every summer, until Justin had been killed.

Justin was the son of her oldest sister, technically her nephew though he was a month older. He was Lucy’s first best friend, and though they’d been seven when Justin was killed, Lucy still missed him. She realized now that she hadn’t been camping—the “pitch a tent and cook meals over an open fire” type camping—in eighteen years. She didn’t think her parents knew just how drastically they’d changed their lives after Justin was gone, above and beyond their grief.

“You’re not listening to me,” Sean said. He stopped walking and turned to face her. “What’s wrong?”

“Memories.”

“Bad memories?”

“No. It’s just been a while since I’ve been camping. Since Justin.”

Sean touched her cheek. “You okay? We can have a picnic and head back this afternoon. As long as we leave by three-thirty, we’ll be at the car before dark.”

She kissed Sean. He was always thoughtful and considerate of her feelings, which endeared her most of the time. But she didn’t want to be coddled. “I’m okay. I used to love camping. I learned to swim in Big Bear Lake.” Lucy had been a championship swimmer in high school and college. She’d had a chance to try out for the Olympic team but her heart hadn’t been in it. Her coach had told her if she couldn’t commit completely, then she needed to leave. She left.

They continued to walk around the lake, the cliff eroding to a wide expanse of flat land dotted heavily with birch trees. The forest was dense and cooler here than at the top of the cliff.

“This was a good idea,” Lucy assured Sean.

“Our previous attempts to get away haven’t been as successful.”

She punched him lightly in the arm. “Bite your tongue. You want to jinx this?”

He laughed and shook off his backpack. He was carrying the tent with his pack; she had the food in hers. They each had a sleeping bag.

Sean took out his map. “About a hundred yards from here is an old campsite with a fire pit. This used to be a maintained camping area, but there was a flash flood a few years back that killed a group of hikers, so they close it off in the winter and after heavy rains. I guess they didn’t think it was worth maintaining just for summer visitors.”

“That’s depressing,” Lucy said.

He winked. “I’ll protect you from the ghosts and goblins.”

“If you—” She stopped talking. There was a rustling to her right, and she turned and looked. Nothing was there.

“I didn’t scare you, did I?” Sean teased.

“No, I thought I heard something.”

He looked in the same direction. “Could be a deer. There are some black bears in the park, but most are farther north of here or west in the George Washington Forest. Still, we should be cautious, especially after sunset.”

“Great,” she said, rolling her eyes. “We’ve both been shot by psychopaths, but watch, we’ll be mauled to death by a bear.”

“Ha, ha.” Sean adjusted his backpack and they continued their hike.

Lucy wasn’t overly concerned—she knew how to secure their food and how to react to wild animals. Her father, a retired army colonel, had always made sure the family was well prepared, though they had never encountered any serious dangers while camping.

Truth was, Sean couldn’t have picked a better location. She’d missed so much of her childhood after Justin had been killed, and then her life had been irrevocably changed on the day of her high school graduation when she’d been kidnapped and raped. She wanted to reclaim some of what she’d lost. She could never go back—she didn’t want to—but she could rekindle the joys of her youth with the appreciation of her new adult self.

“We should do this again,” she said.

“Anything you want, if it means I get more time with you.”

Sean was acting unusually possessive and Lucy wondered if it was because of the uncertainty of the future. They’d talked a little about what they were going to do after she graduated from Quantico, but so much depended on where she was assigned. Right now, they were in limbo, not knowing if she would be local or sent three thousand miles away. They couldn’t make any decisions until they had those answers, which wouldn’t come until December. She tried not to think about it.

“Are you and Duke still having a disagreement?” Sean and his brother Duke, who was a principal of Rogan-Caruso-Kincaid at their base of operations in Sacramento, had had some recent differences of opinion about the business, though he hadn’t talked much about it. Sean had always done what Duke asked in order to keep the peace, at least that’s what he’d always said. Lucy wondered if Sean’s conciliatory manner toward his brother was more because he still sought Duke’s approval. Duke had raised Sean after their parents were killed when Sean was fourteen and Duke was twenty-seven, and while Sean didn’t talk a lot about his past, Lucy knew he’d been a wild teenager. Sean was open about most everything but whenever they talked about those years, Sean would make a wisecrack and change the subject. At first, he did it so smoothly that Lucy didn’t notice. Lately, it was becoming more obvious. She was an open book, but Sean kept much of his past locked away.

“Duke’s just being Duke.” Sean sighed. “I really thought that when I moved out here to run RCK East that he finally accepted I was capable of making decisions. But sometimes, I think he’ll never trust my judgment—or trust me without asking a dozen questions.”

“He does,” Lucy assured him.

“You don’t know him like I do.”

“Patrick trusts you.”

“And Patrick is spending more time mediating between Duke and me than he should.”

They stepped into a clearing, which included a fire pit just like Sean had said. It was evident that other campers had been in this spot earlier in the summer—brush had been cleared and the pit only needed a little cleanup to use.

He turned to her. “No more talk about my job, Duke, Quantico, nothing. Okay?”

“Okay.” Lucy knew they’d need to discuss it eventually. It was eating Sean up inside, and she wanted to help. Sean had always been there when she needed him, even when she didn’t realize she needed his support. She had to find a way to get inside what was really bothering him about Duke and RCK.

Maybe it had nothing to do with RCK. Maybe it was about what was going to happen to them when she graduated.

“I mean it,” Sean said. He dropped his pack and faced her. “I can tell you’re still thinking about the outside world. This is our time, Lucy. I don’t want anything to interfere with us enjoying each other’s company.” He touched her face. “I really missed you.”

She shook off her backpack and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I missed you, too, Sean Rogan.” Smiling, she kissed him. “You’d better get that tent up quickly.”

“I thought you were starving.” He held her close and nuzzled her neck.

“Food can wait. I’ll help you.”

“This is supposed to be an easy tent to put up,” Sean said.

“You’ve never used it?”

He shook his head. “You pegged me right, Princess. If I go camping, I usually have a cabin to sleep in. With running water. A mattress. Heat.”

“Why don’t I set it up?”

He raised his eyebrows in mock embarrassment. “Don’t think I can do it?”

“All right.” She sat on the ground. “Go.”

“You’re going to watch?”

She grinned.

Lucy wasn’t surprised that the first thing Sean did was read the directions. Then he pocketed the instructions and put the frame together without a hitch. He spread out a footprint for the tent, clipped the tent onto the frame, and staked everything to the ground. Ten minutes later, he was done and grinning like a kid.

“You look very pleased with yourself,” Lucy said.

“I am. I’ve never done this before.”

Lucy stood and kissed him. “Good job.”

“What’s my reward?”

She knelt down and crawled into the tent. “Cozy,” she said.

Sean followed her and pinned her beneath him. “I love you.”

All worries about Sean and Duke, fears about their future when she graduated, disappeared as they kissed. All there was now was her and Sean, and she melted into him, completely at peace, this moment in time absolutely perfect.

A sharp male voice cut through the still afternoon, then nothing.

Lucy cringed, her body tensing. They’d seen a woman, now there was a man? Were they together? How many people were out here in the woods?

“They’ll go away,” Sean whispered in her ear, then kissed it.

“I know. I’m fine,” Lucy said as Sean rubbed her shoulders. He was trying to make her comfortable with his touch and whispers, but she couldn’t relax. She hated this part of herself. Wouldn’t a normal twenty-five-year-old woman be able to ignore other campers when she was in a tent with her boyfriend? It wasn’t like they were having sex out in the open for everyone to see.

But just thinking about it had Lucy’s mind not focused on making love to her boyfriend, but rather on what the other campers would think. What they would imagine. On someone looking in the tent and seeing her. She couldn’t unwind. She still had a hard time relaxing in Sean’s bed when her brother Patrick was under the same roof. A lasting remnant of fear after being raped in front of an audience seven years ago.

“Dammit!” She sat up and hugged her knees.

Sean sat next to her, his head almost touching the top of the tent. “Luce, don’t—”

“I hate myself sometimes.” She squeezed back tears of frustration and despair. When was she going to get over this fear of being watched? These insane panic attacks that reminded her that she wasn’t normal and never would be?

Sean squeezed her hand to the point that it hurt. In a low voice he said, “I
never
want to hear you say anything like that again. Do you understand me?”

“I just want to be normal.”

“Stop. I know what you mean, but there is no normal. We’ve gotten this far, do you think I’m going to run away because the road isn’t always smooth?” He took her chin in his hand and pulled her face close to his. He lightly touched his lips to hers. “I love you for you. End of story.”

She breathed easier. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

One side of his mouth curved up. “I know you are.”

She wrinkled her nose and crawled out of the tent. “I
am
hungry,” she said.

He followed her. “I’m sure the hikers will go away but after we eat we should explore the area, make sure no one else is around.”

They spread a blanket on the ground and unpacked Sean’s picnic. “We could feed an army,” Lucy said.

“We’re going to be here until noon tomorrow; I need to make sure you’re well fed.”

“We could be here a week.”

“Not quite.” But he looked pleased as Lucy took a bite of potato salad.

“You didn’t make all this, did you?”

Sean laughed. “I’m a good cook but not
this
good. I went to that deli on M Street that you like so much, and then the brewery next door that has the lamb stew. We’ll get the fire going before dark and warm it for dinner.”

She grinned with appreciation. “You really planned this trip well.”

“I did.” He bit into his sandwich and looked around. “What did you do when you went camping with your family? I think I would have gone stir-crazy being in the middle of nowhere for a week with my family.”

“My dad’s best friend had a boat we’d borrow and take to the lake. We’d fish, have races with other campers, hike, play games—it wasn’t quiet like this. It was a large campground with dozens of families. Justin and I had a lot of freedom.” She drank some water. “We always found other kids to play with.”

Two voices echoed through the trees. Clearly they were arguing, but Lucy couldn’t make out what they were saying. Sean swore under his breath. Lucy felt bad for him because he had this weekend planned for the two of them, and now in his eyes it was less than perfect.