Authors: Rosemary Cottage
Amy stared at the shelf he’d pointed out, an eight-by-eight square that didn’t have dust on it. “So whatever it was had been here awhile. Should we call Tom and suggest he talk to the landlord?”
“Yeah, I think we’d better.” He whipped out his cell phone and placed the call. Tom promised to come right over.
As he talked to the sheriff, Curtis watched Amy wander the room. Her tousled dark curls framed a face rosy from their afternoon of parasailing. Expressions flitted across her face, emotions he wanted to examine to see what made her tick. Was she thinking about her brother and his role in Gina’s life? Did she regret she’d never been a friend to Gina?
Curtis had plenty of regrets himself. His work demanded leaving family gatherings at the drop of a hat, and he’d often been distracted when Gina wanted to talk to him. If he could go back now and do it over again, he would have been more intent on listening to her and being there for her.
Guilt couldn’t change anything now though. All he could do was go forward and not make the same mistake with Raine or Edith. Or even Amy, if their relationship led to more than friendship. He wanted to travel this little path in life’s road with her and see if it led to a joined future. It just might. He’d never been so intrigued by a woman.
She turned around and smiled at his stare. “What? Do I have dirt on my nose?”
“No, I was just thinking about kissing you again.”
Color bloomed in her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. “That might not be the best idea.”
He approached her. “Why? Am I moving too fast? I’m beginning to care about you, Amy. Don’t you want to see where it might lead?”
He cupped her face with his palm, and she held her ground.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me. I don’t think we would suit one another in the long run.”
“Why not?”
Pain darkened her eyes, but she didn’t tell him what was holding her back. Was it his job or the fact that he was raising Raine? She liked children, so he couldn’t see how the baby might give her pause.
“Tell me.” His words were soft.
She opened her mouth, but Tom hollered from the living room.
“We’ll talk about this later,” Curtis said.
D
elicious aromas filled Amy’s kitchen as she and Libby put final touches on the Saturday dinner. She planned to have them all eat on the deck since there was a large table that seated eight out there. Her tummy rumbled at the aroma of crab chowder, steamed lobster, and au gratin potatoes. She’d even made coconut cream pie for dessert.
She glanced at Libby, who looked happy and healthy in her denim shorts and red-and-white sleeveless top. It was hard to believe she’d given birth two weeks ago. “Thanks for the lobster. We’re going to have a terrific feast thanks to you.” She held out a leftover spoonful of coconut pie filling. “Tell me if it’s okay.”
Libby licked the spoon. “It’s perfect. Zach pulled in a big haul, and we were happy to share.” She tipped her head and listened. “There’s no screaming going on in the living room.”
“Yet.” Amy stirred the lobster bisque. “If there’s a way to make peace between my parents and Curtis, I’d sure like to know what it is.”
Libby put the spoon into the dishwasher. “Time, honey. That’s the only thing that will work. And as they come to love Raine more and more, they’ll appreciate all Curtis is doing for her.”
“I’m worried the custody fight will turn our relationship into
an adversarial one. No matter who wins, the loser will hold a grudge.”
Libby nodded. “Curtis would never recover from losing Raine. He dotes on that child.”
“She’s all he has left of Gina. Just as she’s all we have left of Ben. The battle lines are drawn, and it’s going to be a bloody fight.”
Libby leaned on the counter and crossed her arms. “There’s a personal stake in this for you. I’ve seen the way you and Curtis look at each other.”
Heat ran up Amy’s neck to her cheeks. “I won’t bother trying to deny it. He kissed me the other day, and I ran away. I can’t risk my heart. Not after . . .”
“After?”
Amy set the spoon on the rest. “I was engaged once. Two years ago. The engagement lasted all of three months, until I got sick.”
“I didn’t know that. What happened?”
She turned to check the lobsters. They were nearly done. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to get into this. “How important do you think honesty is to a relationship?”
“It’s everything. It would be like hiding part of yourself from yourself. Curtis doesn’t know about your engagement?”
Amy shook her head. “It’s not the engagement that’s the problem. It’s why my fiancé broke it off. I think any man is going to run away when he finds out.”
“Finds out what?”
She turned to watch Libby’s expression when she heard the news. “That I had cancer. And I can’t have any children.”
Libby gasped, and the color drained from her face. “Cancer? Are you all right?”
Amy nodded. “I’ve been cancer-free for two years now, but every time I need to get checked, it’s scary. I—I need to get my
blood checked again, but I’ve been putting it off, which is silly. I can’t image putting someone I love through that constant worry.”
After losing Ben, she knew what it was like to be on the other end of loss. The guilt, the what-ifs, the regrets. The thought of putting Curtis through the roller coaster she went through every three months made her shudder. It was better to go through life alone than to cause that kind of pain in someone she loved.
Libby seemed to read her mind. “Since Curtis just lost his sister, you think he’ll be quick to run from a relationship where he might face a loss again. He’s a bigger man than that, Amy.”
“Well, he
should
run from something like that. I would.”
Libby rolled her eyes. “Let me get this straight. If you found out Curtis had faced cancer and had won, you would walk away just in case it came back?”
The wisdom in Libby’s words stopped her. “I don’t know. Loss is hard, Libby. It’s a valley I don’t ever want to walk through again. There have been days I didn’t think I could survive Ben’s death.”
Libby’s eyes softened, and she reached over to squeeze Amy’s hand. “None of us wants to face death, but it comes to everyone. Death is part of life. I think you should tell Curtis.”
“I don’t want to. Not yet.”
Libby pulled down glasses from the cabinet. “So you’re going to let fear rule you.”
Amy winced. “No, I’m just not going to go into something so personal.”
“You’re holding back who you really are from Curtis. Hiding the real Amy behind those eyes. Half an hour ago I would have said you feared nothing, but you do. You’re afraid of being judged, yet you’re judging how everyone else will react.”
Libby’s words hit her hard, and she pressed her hand to her stomach. “I’m not afraid.”
But as she gave the denial, she knew it was a lie. She wanted
people to like her. She was quick to judge others and to assume what people would think, but she was afraid to be up front about who she really was. Maybe Libby was right, but she couldn’t bear to see Curtis retreat when he heard the news.
The thought of telling Curtis the truth made her quail. Could she trust him with the truth? What if he left her too? Her feelings about him were already entangled, and ripping them out by the roots would be more painful than she was prepared to face.
Raine slept on her chest, and Amy didn’t want to move. The Bournes had gone home an hour ago, and her parents had gone to bed, but though Curtis had offered to take Raine and leave, she’d shaken her head and held the little girl close.
What if she pursued custody herself? Raine might be the only child she could ever raise. And she was a tiny piece of Ben. The thought grew in her mind. It would mean the end of any budding relationship with Curtis, but was there a future anyway? Her medical history indicated otherwise.
He tossed a pillow at her. “Penny for your thoughts.”
“They’re not even worth that.” She shifted Raine a bit. The baby’s hair lay in damp curls on her forehead. “She’s as hot as an August afternoon.”
“Lay her on the sofa.” He rose from his favorite armchair by the fireplace and came toward her. “Need some help?”
“I can do it.” She eased the sleeping child onto the cushion, then fanned herself. “I think I need some iced tea.”
“Me too.”
When she rose, she pulled the other cushion from the couch and dropped it on the floor so if Raine happened to roll off, she’d fall onto the soft surface. A couple of throw pillows tucked against
the child helped ensure her safety. Curtis and Amy went to the kitchen where she poured glasses of iced tea.
There was a rattle outside. “What on earth? It sounds like someone is in the trash.” She threw open the door and stepped onto the deck. The banker pony was nosing in her metal trash can. His tail swished as if he liked whatever he was eating. “I didn’t know horses ate garbage.”
“Bet you’ve got the corncobs from dinner in there, don’t you? They love corn.” He tried to shoo the horse away, but the pony ignored him.
“Fabio, get out of there.” She slapped the horse on the rump, and he backed his head out and snorted as if to ask her why she was being so mean.
Curtis lifted a brow. “Fabio?” He snickered. “What kind of name is that for a horse?”
Her face went hot. “Er, Fabio is a male actor who poses on romance novels. Don’t you think my horse looks like a star?”
His grin widened. “Romance novels, huh? You read those things?”
“Every woman likes a little happily-ever-after.”
She tugged on the pony’s mane and managed to get him away from the trash can. Fabio snorted and jerked his head but went along with her bidding. She hadn’t realized that Curtis had followed until his hands came down on her shoulders. From behind, he pulled her against his chest and rested his chin on her head. Cradled like this, she could enjoy his touch without him seeing her expression.
“I think even guys like to think happiness with one woman for life exists.” His breath stirred her hair as he spoke.
One partner for life. Was it too good to be true? She opened her mouth to tell him about her situation, then closed it again. Wouldn’t he think it presumptuous to tell him when he hadn’t
said a word about holding any special feelings for her? For all she knew, he might not have the same strong yearning squeezing his heart that she had pressing on hers. This romance stuff was hard.
Fabio hadn’t wandered far. He stood a few feet away, tossing his head as if he wanted her to notice him. “Do you think he’d let me ride him? By now, he knows me pretty well.”
“The bankers are pretty docile, but he might throw you.”
She moved out of the shelter of his embrace to lay her palm against the horse’s rough coat. Fabio’s skin quivered under her fingertips. “Easy, boy.” She ran a caressing hand along his back. “Give me a boost, Curtis.”
“I’m not so sure about this.” But he came to her side and laced his fingers together for her to step into.
She put her bare foot in his hands, and he helped lift her onto Fabio’s back. The horse jumped when her weight settled on his back. He stamped his feet and neighed, a nervous, high-pitched sound. She patted his neck. “Easy.”
Her fingers tangled into his mane, and she touched her heels to his flank. He reacted immediately and bolted for the trees. “Whoa, whoa!” She tightened her grip on his mane and held on as best she could, though her backside was sliding to one side.
The trees loomed nearer, and she leaned down with her cheek to the horse’s sweaty neck. His eyes rolled back in his head. It would be better to bail off now before he entered the trees. At least there would be grass to stop her fall. She was sliding more to the left, so she kicked free and released her grip on his mane.
In the next moment, she hit the ground. She felt the jar in every bone of her body. Pain traveled up her arm and into her neck, and the fall knocked the breath from her lungs. She lay on the ground and struggled to draw in a breath.
“Amy!” Curtis was by her side. He touched her head and ran his fingers down her cheek. “Are you hurt? Can you talk?”
She wanted to tell him she’d be fine if she could just get her lungs to work, but she didn’t have enough breath to speak. Then a rush of oxygen expanded her chest, and she drank in the sweet taste of the night air. She nodded, and he slid his hand under her and helped her into a seated position.
He cradled her close. “You scared the fire out of me. I couldn’t lose you too.” He pressed his lips against her forehead in a fervent kiss.
Her fists clutched his shirt, and she clung to him and willed him to kiss her. His lips came down on hers, and as she tasted the passion in his kiss, she allowed herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, they had something enduring between them.
A
my palpated Mindy Stewart’s belly, then listened to the baby’s heartbeat. She looped her stethoscope around her neck and smiled. “Everything looks good, Mindy. The baby is growing, and your weight is excellent. Your little one should be making her appearance in about four weeks.”