Color Her Red (21 page)

“We just found out this morning.”  Thomas answers for me eagerly.  His Dad gives me another embrace and again kisses me on the cheek.  His mom is still holding onto him, refusing to let him go. 

“I’m so happy for you!”  She repeats over and over.  I am grateful that she is so kind to him.  He never told his parents that we were trying to have a baby.  He scowled when I asked if he had.  I have an uneasy feeling that his mother never wanted him to marry me.  It’s almost a certainty, but I push that thought asid
e.  There is no doubt that she’s overjoyed we are having a baby, and I am gratified knowing that she’s happy for us. 

Once again everyone takes their seats, smiling and crying tears of joy.  Finally, I’m able t
o take my mother’s hand.  She’s shifted in her chair so that she’s facing me. She keeps kissing me on the cheek and crying.  Neither of us can speak for a solid moment.  When she can finally speak, she holds my hand tenderly in hers and says, “You are going to make such a great mother,” before letting out more sobs of happiness. I must get my emotions from my mother. 

Once things have calmed and the food has been served, Thomas leans into me, and quietly whispers, “I thought you weren’t going to tell them?”  I can’t help but to smack him playfully under the table hitting his leg with the back of my hand.  He smiles and leans in to
me to give me a kiss.  I stare into his caring, teasing blue eyes.  His light is back and so is my glow. 

Chapter 12

The remaining days of our vacation were amazing and entirely comforting.
It meant the world to me to see my mother and how happy she was for the two of us, correction, three of us.  I was sad to see her go, but I was grateful to have a couple more days alone with Thomas.  Those days were spent carelessly lounging on the white sand, catching the warm glow of the sun on our skin.  Thomas has pampered me to no end, romantic candle-lit dinners and strolls on the beach as the sun sets on the dark aquamarines of the ocean. I’d grown accustom to resting my head on his chest listening to various boy and girl names roll off his tongue, gauging whether or not the name is worthy.  The sweet smell of his skin and the soft hum of his voice comforted me.  I didn’t want to leave, but we had no choice, reality put an end to my serene escape.

As we packed our bags, we were interrupted with yet another magazine article.  Apparently someone in the restaurant sold a story that we were pregnant.  My heart dropped. 
Thomas thinks it was the overly attentive waiter, but honestly it could have been anyone, given how loudly his mother yelled our news. 
Damn his mother and her huge mouth.
I cried for almost an hour and only stopped when Kate called me.  I had planned on telling her in person; this wasn’t something that I thought qualified as an acceptable conversation over the phone.  It was agonizing to hold it from her.  The last two days I refused to take her call; I couldn’t handle hearing her voice and not being able to tell her, I blamed my absence on the reception.  She was, of course, overjoyed and ecstatic, a little pissed that she found out from an article. I refused to let Thomas comment on the story, I didn’t give a damn what PR was telling him on the other end of the phone.  It’s not supposed to be known yet; we still haven’t seen a doctor.

Other than that small hiccup, the vacation was wonderful.  I wish we could stay here forever.

“We’ll be home soon baby.”  Thomas’
eyes are the softest blue and they are full of happiness.  I smile at him and give him a small peck as I settle back down into the seat of the plane.  I have mixed feelings about going home.  I can’t wait to see the doctor; I want her to say it out loud, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”  I feel a warm bliss over my body thinking about it.  And then my thoughts change. 
She
is still out there somewhere.  And she may know that I’m pregnant.  I wonder if that will send her away, maybe she’ll leave us alone, but the darkened thought that the news may cause her to do something much worse haunts me in the silent moments.  We don’t talk about her, he doesn’t want me to worry, but I do worry, I sicken just thinking about it.  The last time I was home, she was there and that knowledge chills me to the core.  We can’t hide away forever.  It’s our home and it will be our baby’s home.  We have to go back, I don’t know if I am ready though.

“Did you make the app
ointment with Dr. Kenz?” I ask Thomas as Michael carries the last two remaining bags and heaves them into the back of the plane.  I need a pleasant distraction, and thinking about seeing my doctor does the trick.  Dr. Kenz has been my OB/GYN since I started seeing Thomas.  Thomas insisted that I see a doctor that he approved; apparently my doctor at the time was not good enough for him.  Luckily for me, Dr. Kenz is a kind and professional doctor with a sweet demeanor.  She has a way to make the uncomfortable seem normal and relaxed.  My first visit with her was the most awkward visit I have ever had in my life though; I made sure I trimmed up down there for the occasion, I don’t know if that’s normal or not, and she commented on it. 
I hope Thomas appreciates your landscaping. 
Looking back on it I laugh, but I was mortified at the time. 

“As soon as we land
she’ll see us.  The appointment is at ten but she knows we’re flying, so if we’re late that won’t be a problem.”  I nod my head and rest back into the seat cushion.  My body feels anxious; I don’t know if it’s the flying, the pregnancy, or the fact that we’re going home.  I take a deep breath and try to relax my breathing only to look up and see Red-hot-for-my-husband is back.  She reminds us of the escape routes with a huge smile and practically passes out at the sight of Thomas’ smile. 
Kill me now.

MY HEELS ECHO as they
click on the bright white tiles. The sparsely decorated hall seems much longer than it ever did before.  Dr. Kenz’s office is all the way at the end; I focus on her door and my breathing.  Thomas holds my hand tightly and pulls it to his lips for a small kiss on my knuckles.  He is nothing but smiles; ever since we landed he’s been this way.  I slept in and out during the flight.  We returned to brutal cold New York and I made half of an effort to get back on the plane. 

He gives my hand a squeeze as he opens the door.  Lindsey immediately greets us, a freckled receptionist with her curly chestnut locks pulled into a tight ponytail.  

“Mr. and Mrs. Grant, Dr. Kenz is ready for you.”  She smiles warmly and walks us to a small familiar room in the back. 

Thomas h
elps me take off my coat and lays it along with his over the back of a chair in the all white room.

“Welcome back to the S
tates you two.”  Dr. Kenz slips into the room carrying a folder.  Just seeing her allows me to give out a small, relieved breath.  She has a way about her that puts me at ease.  “How was your flight?”

“It took forever, other than that it was just fine.”  Thomas is sociable with Dr. Kenz.  He smiles at her, waiting for instruction.
 

“You know the routine.”  She looks at me with her eyebrows raised and signals for me to prep for her prodding.

“Panties too?”  I ask with a shy grin.

“Yes
, please.”  She nods professionally as she puts on gloves.

Thomas takes a seat close to the bed as I slip under the thin sheet.  I set my feet in the cold, metal holsters, keeping my knees touching, and wait for further instruction.

“Today, I want to determine the due date, if possible.”  She says as she preps a monitor and rather long wand.  “Thomas said you are a few days late and took a pregnancy test?” 

“Yes, but I was looking at my calendar and my last period was really short and light.”  Thomas looks at me quizzically, this is news to him, but he stays quiet.

“Oh, did you take a test then?” 

“I didn’t think much of it.  I was dealing with my book… it was a little stressful.” 

“What about your period before that?”

“Normal, on time, heavy.”  I sigh back in the bed and look at the ceiling, “cramps like usual.”  The doctor laughs; she knows how much I hate my period
, but then again who likes their period?  On birth control, I had practically no period and zero cramps; it was glorious.  My period came back with a vengeance when I stopped taking the pills. 

“All right, I’m ready when you are Mrs. Grant.”  Thomas reaches for my hand I hold onto him tight. 
Please let me be pregnant with a healthy baby. 
All eyes are on the monitor as she prods me.  She readjusts the wand a few times, checking with me to make sure I’m comfortable. Amongst the black, there is a small flutter of white.  Dr. Kenz smiles and I feel a warm surge of happiness run through my body.

“Do you see that you two?”  She points at the screen, the small white fluttering.  Thomas squeezes my hand. 

“Is that our baby?” he asks.  I stare at the screen mesmerized and feel the small pricks at the back of my eyes.

“That’s a heartbeat.  A very strong and steady heartbeat.”  Thomas kisses me on the cheek, I turn to him with tears in my eyes and he kisses me hard on the lips.

“Congratulations, I’d say you are about ten weeks along.”  My cheeks hurt from my smile.  I wipe the tears away as Dr. Kenz continues to point out features on the screen, head, arms, legs feet.  My baby is bundled up into a little curved circle, with a white fluttering heartbeat.  Thomas kisses me again and moves his hand to my belly.  I’ve never been so happy in my life.

Thomas holds my waist as we exit the hospital.  Michael exits the car and moves to open the door.  He looks expectantly at Thomas as we walk closer.

“Ten weeks,” there is pride in Thomas’ voice.

“Congratulations you two,” Michael smiles warmly, the same smile when I told him I thought I was pregnant.  I can’t help but to reach up and give him a hug before I slide into the car.

I feel warm, full of peace and happiness, as I nuzzle next to my husband.  He kisses my hair and runs his hand down the curve of my waist and then to my belly.  As we start to move, I slowly get a chill.

“Where are we going now?” I look up at Thomas’ blue eyes as the car moves and from the corner of my eye I see Michael look at us in the rearview mirror.

“Home,” Thomas looks at me with concern.  “Is there somewhere else you wanted to go?”  I shift uncomfortably in my seat.  I don’t know how to explain how I feel.  I don’t even know what exactly I am feeling, anxious, a little terrified.  Thomas calms me before I can respond.

“She hasn’t been spotted around the house or the office the entire week, Emma.”  He sighs deep, a deep frown on his face.  “It’s difficult to track her.  She has no phone, credit cards, no address.”  He moves his hand to my face, caressing my skin gently, making me close my eyes. 

“Don’t worry
.  She is probably long gone, but just in case, I’m keeping security tight.”  I open my eyes to see his soft blue comforting eyes on me.  He kisses the tip of my nose.  “I don’t want you to think about it.”  I nod my head in his chest taking in his scent and letting out a long exhale.  He lifts my chin up and kisses me tenderly on my lips. 

“Promise me you won’t worry.”  His eyes are sincere and they are looking deep into me, begging me.

“I promise,” I almost whisper the words.  I give him a small kiss and rest my head back on his shoulder. 
He’ll keep me safe. 
I rest my hand on my tummy. 
He’ll keep us safe.

Chapter 13

I finally feel a sense of relief.  I can sleep in my own bed without worrying and without having unwanted images of
her
invade my dreams.  The first night back was the worst.  Thomas made two men stay outside the bedroom door all night while I slept.  I woke screaming from a horrific nightmare that made my body tremble and weaken, I couldn’t remember what it was though.  Thomas had to dart across the room to get to me.  He was in his chair in the corner of the room, his eyes were bloodshot; he hadn’t been able to sleep.  Now he holds me in bed every night, his arms wrapped tightly around my body, pushing me into his chest. His touch is comforting and needed.  I can sleep, knowing he’s holding me, once again protecting me from myself, and better yet, he sleeps knowing I’m safe in his arms. 

The next day I went to see him in his office, every blonde looked like her, the fucking psychopath haunting me.  I had to calm myself and remember that the security team was with me always and that she hadn’t been anywhere near our home or his office for over a week.  Yesterday I finally went out for lunch with my editor, and the blondes didn’t startle me.  I was at ease and finally felt as though everything was fine and there was no need for me to worry.  “She’s probably long gone.”  That’s what Thomas says, and I was just starting to believe it.

We’ve been back for four days now and life is normal, well almost normal.  My world is full of tiny baby clothes, shoes, and swaddling cloths.  I’ve been researching how to be the best mother I can, starting immediately.  Thomas has hired a trainer to come to the house to show me how to do yoga to keep the baby healthy and make birthing easier.  I hope it works; truthfully I’m terrified about giving birth.  It’s the ripping and pushing that makes me feel like I might not be able to handle it.  I told Thomas to just knock me out and wake me up when our little one is out.  I’ve also signed up for pregnancy classes and massages.  The last one was Thomas’ idea and I found it difficult to object.