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Authors: Tonya Kappes

Color Me Love

BOOK: Color Me Love
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This book is a work of fiction.
Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s
imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events,
locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved.
No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by
any means, electronic or mechanical, without the permission in writing from the
author or publisher.

Edition: January 2012

 

Copyright © 2012 by Tonya Kappes

All rights reserved.

 

What others are saying about
Tonya Kappes’ novels:

 

 

“Full
of wit, humor and colorful characters, Tonya Kappes delivers a fun, fast-paced
story that will leave you hooked!” Bestselling Author, Jane Porter

 


Fun, fresh, and
flirty, Carpe Bead ’Em is the perfect read on a hot summer day. Tonya
Kappes’ voice shines in her debut novel.” Author Heather Webber

 


Tonya Kappes strings together
the perfect blend of family, friends, and fun.” Author Misa Ramirez

 


I loved how Tonya Kappes was able to
bring her characters to life.” Coffee Table Reviews

 

“I love, love, love this book.  I
enjoyed reading about Hallie's friendships and her trials and
tribulations.  Her Aunt Grace was a hoot, especially the pink
poodle.  Too darn funny.  As you already know I was crying and I had
to put the book down.  That, makes a truly awesome read for me, because I
became a part of the story and loved Aunt Grace as much as Hallie.

 Again, this was worth the wait and I
can't wait to read your next story.” Reader, Dru Ann

 


I don't write many
reviews but some books are so outstanding I just have to. This is one of them.
Tonya Kappes is one of the freshest new voices in women's fiction, and I can't
wait to read more from her.” Reader, Melissa Lapierre

 

"This book was fun, entertaining and good to
the last page. Who knew reading auras could get Olivia in so much trouble? Sit
back, smile and cozy up to Splitsville.com, where Olivia does the dumping for
you. There's heap loads of humor, a dose of magical realism, sprinkles of
romance, and mystery when someone ends up dead!" Author Lisa Lim

 

“This book was funny and clever with a unique
premise. I truly couldn't put it down.” Author Diane Majeske

 

“Tonya Kappes has written a fast paced cozy
mystery that kept me guessing till the end. Full of likeable characters,
Splitsville.com is humerous and I was caught up in the story right from the
beginning. I'm definitely looking forward to more books in this series!” Author
Sheila Seabrook

 

“Unique, imaginative, funny, with a tantalizing
mystery to boot. What more could one ask. But there was more ... compassion and
passion ... Olivia is an animal lover with the good sense not to become jaded
by her "day job" of helping people break up. She gets the guy, solves
the puzzle and rises above all of life's messy situations. Aunt Matilda was the
icing on the cake ... as I said ... PURE MAGIC.” Reader PJ Schott

 

Also by Tonya Kappes

 

Carpe
Bead ‘em

Something
Spooky This Way Comes

Believe
Christmas Anthology

 

 

An
Olivia Davis Paranormal Mystery

Splitsville.com

 

 

Grandberry
Falls Series

The
Ladybug Jinx

Happy
New Life

A
Superstitious Christmas

Never
Tell Your Dreams

 

A
Divorced Diva Beading Mystery Series

A
Bead of Doubt

 

A
Magical Cures Mystery

A
Charming Crime

 

Non-Fiction

The
Tricked-Out Toolbox~Promotional and Marketing Tools Every Writer Needs

 

 

Dedication

 

 

This book is dedicated to everyone who is true to
themselves. No matter how different you are, you are you! Embrace it!

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead
of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

 

Color Me

Love

An Olivia Davis Paranormal Mini-Mystery

 

 

By

Tonya Kappes

 

One

 

 

“Hi,
Is Rebecca there?” I looked at Rebecca Seaton’s photo sent in by her soon to be
ex-boyfriend. Nick Brooks sent in to my online breakup service,
Splitsville.com.

That’s
one of the requirements. The client has to send in a picture of the dumpee,
plus a few personal questions only the client and dumpee would know the answers
to. That way when the dumpee hits the disbelief stage in “the process,” I can
throw out one of the secrets.

“Speaking.”
The chipper voice on the other end of the phone was about to get a lot less
chipper.

“I’m
Jenn from Splitsville.com, and Nick is breaking up with you.” I just stated the
facts. There was no reason to go into detail at this point. And Nick had paid
extra to have the breakup voice recorded and participate in the Valentine’s
Massacre Special, at which I will email immediately to him after Rebecca and I
hang up.

“Wait,
who are you?” There was a little panic in Rebecca’s voice.

I
looked at her picture again, and gave her a sympathetic smile, even though she
couldn’t see it. Not necessarily bad looking, but the four cats that were
surrounding her seemed to be the focus of her attention and not poor Nick, who
was in the background with a scowl on his face.

“I’m
Jenn from Splitsville.com. I’m calling on behalf of Nick. He is breaking up
with you.” I use Jenn as an alias. Olivia Davis was my real name, but I’ve
found that my online breakup service pissed a lot of people off and I don’t
want to find my real self at the end of that line.

Yeah,
yeah. I know. . .it sounds heartless breaking all these peoples’ hearts, but
why would they want to be in a relationship when the other person doesn’t?

Especially
around Valentine’s Day.

I
tapped the handy breakup stages that are tacked up on the bulletin board behind
my monitor with my fingertip. It was a list that hasn’t failed me or
Splitsville.com yet.

Let
me back up a little bit. Splitsville.com started a couple of years ago when a
friend wanted to dump her boyfriend. She was a big chicken, so I did it for
her. Called his ass up, broke the news and Splitsville.com was born.

Here’s
how it works. Clients contact me through an online form where they give their
name, email address, working phone number for the dumpee, reason for dumping, a
few details of their relationship, and a picture of the victim and, the most
important part, payment in full. The reason for the cashola up front was in
case the dump was a joke. In that case, they deserved to lose their money for
being an ass and I deserved to keep it for having to deal with them.

I
offered three “Breakup” packages. The cheapest and most popular is “the general
breakup” for a low price of fifty dollars. “The engagement breakup” is a little
steeper at one hundred dollars. It totally should be more because I couldn’t
imagine being in the fiancé’s shoes on this one. And the worst and most
expensive breakup of all is “the divorce breakup” setting the big jerk or
jerkette back a mere two hundred dollars.

Anyway,
I used a list I call “the process.” It was the steps that each dumpee goes
through before they believe that they’ve been dumped. I only keep the list so I
know how much longer I’m going to be on the phone with the dumpee.

 

The
Process

1.
Panic (This is the first emotion when they hear the words breakup).

2.
Disbelief (They think I’m playing a joke on them).

3.
Defensive (After they realize I’m not joking, they want to explain their side).

4.
Explanation (They want me to explain the situation all over again).

5.
Denial (This is where they take it out on me and deny my existence).

6.
Anger (Awww…this is where my ear drum gets busted).

7.
Acceptance (Finally!) They have to acknowledge the breakup and I can end the

call.

And
today I didn’t have a lot of time. My best friend Erin was opening up a new
dating service, Color Me Love.

Ironic?
Maybe.

But
I offered my services to help her. You see, I have “a gift.”

Reading
auras was my “gift” as some people call it. I call it—chains. I’m locked into
my life of suffering.
I see auras. People’s auras, animal auras, you name
it.

I
didn’t really know what it was as a child. I quickly learned not to talk about
it. My dad left when I was eight and the only memory I have of him was yelling
at my mother.

“Damn
it, Dawn.” He’d say, “You’ve got Olivia believing in that crap.” And he’d grab
me and scream, “Don’t you dare go around telling the town folk about your crazy
colors. They’ll lock you up in juvie.”

I
didn’t know what juvie was, but I knew it didn’t sound good. Momma and I’d kept
our mouths shut, that is until Aunt Matilda found out daddy left us and she
came to stay.

“Be
proud of who you are!” Aunt Matilda would look deep into my eyes. She gave me
scarves to match the auras I’d describe to her and she made me skirts with all
the colors of the rainbow in them.

That’s
when I wished Aunt Matilda was my momma instead of Dawn. Then, one day momma
went to the market and never came back. For the longest time, I thought I’d
actually wished her away.

But
all that’s in the past.

Still,
I’m going to be helping Erin out at Color Me Love. Actually, I’m going to sit
behind a two-way mirror window reading the client’s aura while Erin interviews
them.

I
will tell Erin which suitor will be the best match for her client based on
their aura compatibility.

That
way, they won’t see me, but I will be able to see their auras. She has to do
this one suitor at a time or my senses go all haywire. This was one of the
other reasons I started Splitsville.com. If I focus on too many people at once,
I pass out. And that becomes very hard to explain once you do it several times
a day. Plus, I’ve been fired a lot because they think I’m a liability.

I
clicked over to my PayPal account and made sure Nick had paid for my services.
I was happy to see the payment was made.

“Who
is this?” Rebecca laughed into the phone. “This is a joke, right?”

“Oh,
Rebecca, I never joke about breakups.” I took the list off the bulletin board.
“I’m Jenn from Splitsville.com.” This time I said it a lot slower. I’m tired of
repeating myself. And I do a lot of that in this job.

And
tapped the first stage in “the process.”

Panic.

Here
it comes.

“Splitsville
dot what?” Rebecca’s voice was a tad more serious. “Why would Nick give you my
number?”

Wow!
We made it to the second stage of “the process” pretty fast. Disbelief.

“Actually,
he hired me to break up with you through my online breakup service,
Splitsville.com.” I try to get the words out as fast as I can, because as soon
as the dumpee hears the word
hire
, they freak. “And he’s breaking up
with you because you’ve turned into the cat lady. He said that four cats in one
apartment are very annoying.”

BOOK: Color Me Love
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