Come a Little Bit Closer: The Sullivans (32 page)

“T
he first couple of years after my breakout movie were difficult to adjust to,” Smith told her. “Really difficult. I loved acting, and I knew if I was really good at it I’d become famous, but I had no idea what it would actually be like to lose my privacy. To have the press calling up my family and friends to ask them questions about me.
I’m not going to lie to you and say that we won’t have more hurdles, that there won’t be a thousand other journalists and photographers trying to make a buck by sticking their noses into our relationship.” Determination held ground with love on Smith’s face as his voice remained as steady as hers had been shaky. “But I’ve waited my whole life for somebody like you, for a woman I wanted to be with forever, and I refuse to give you up. I was afraid you’d never come, that there’d never be a woman who didn’t want me because of who I am, what I have, who I know. Until you.”

He lifted her hands to his mouth and gently pressed his lips to each of them before saying, “Tell me what love means to you, Valentina.”

She didn’t have to think.
“You.”

His mouth found hers then, at once gentle and firm, sweet and passionate. If anyone had asked her before Smith if those contrasts could possibly coexist, she would have known the answer, been utterly certain that when she finally let herself love it would make sense...and that she would be in control of her heart, from the first beat to the last.

But every moment they’d been together, Smith confounded her expectations...and exceeded what she’d believed to be the limits of her heart.

“I know we can love each other enough to make our relationship matter more than anything else ever has,” Smith said. “Yes, Hollywood is crazy, but even though I just broke rule number one today by bashing in a photographer’s face,” he said with a slightly rueful half-grin, “I’m convinced we can transcend the pitfalls from here on out.”

He got down on his knees before her. “I want you by my side not only for red carpet events, but for the nights when we’re both exhausted from a long day on set and fall into bed, too tired to do anything but hold hands and fall asleep. I want to kiss the sugar off your lips while you’re eating sweets for breakfast. And I want you there to drag into the shower with me to make up for not having the energy to make love to you the night before.”

Nothing Smith had said was flashy. There were no big diamonds blinding her, no expensive promises or glittering, sweeping vistas before them. He wasn’t like any other man she’d ever met, and he’d definitely broken the movie-star mold by being beautiful not only on the outside, but on the inside, too. He would never hurt her or her family, just as he would never hurt his own family.

Weeks ago she’d asked him why love couldn’t just be as pure as two people who realized that they couldn’t live as well, or as happily, apart as they could together.

Now she knew it could be.

Finally finding her voice, Valentina put her hands on either side of his face and told him, “You can have it, Smith. All of it. And I want you there, too, to grill Tatiana’s new boyfriend with me. I want you to sit and read the paper with me on a Sunday morning. I want to sit with you under a blanket on the couch in front of a fire and make puzzles of every dog and cat in the family.”

And as he picked her up and carried her over to the bed, food still forgotten, they fulfilled their most important hunger of all.

For love.

Chapter Twenty-nine

Three weeks later…

Valentina stepped out of her office on the
Gravity
set for the last time and took a few moments to take in the activity and buildings that had ended up feeling more like a home than a temporary film set. Tomorrow morning all of the lights, temporary walls, and furniture would be emptied out, leaving the space bare for its next occupant.

Everything would change again for the cast and crew who had worked on the film. Some, like Smith, would be moving on to post-production work. Others would take a much-needed vacation. Most of the actors would go back to Hollywood to audition for their next role, or to take their place on the next set. Tatiana had just committed to star in a major historical piece set in Boston...but for the very first time in a decade, Valentina wouldn’t be going with her.

It made her chest hurt thinking about not seeing her sister every single day, even though she knew it was the right thing for both of them.

She needed to give her sister her wings. And, Valentina thought as she caught sight of Smith walking toward her smiling that devastatingly sexy smile she could never get enough of, she finally admitted to herself that she needed to give herself room to let
her
wings unfurl all the way, too.

Only, she hadn’t expected to see her mother beaming at her a moment later from beside Smith. Nor had she thought to still see her mother’s boyfriend, Dave, with them. Not when he was several weeks past her mother’s usual sell-by date for actor boyfriends.

“Oh honey, wasn’t it so sweet of Smith to invite us to the final day of filming?”

It was. So sweet that Valentina immediately felt ashamed for not thinking of it herself. Smith slid his fingers through hers and pulled her against him to give her a kiss, one that lingered far longer than Valentina’s previous rules of PDA dictated, but was completely irresistible all the same, even though anyone around them could snap a picture and send it off to a tabloid.

The strange truth was, however, that a part of her was glad that they’d been through the wringer with the paparazzi and the press right out of the gate when their relationship was brand new. Because even though it hadn’t been fun to watch the tabloids run pictures of her and Smith, or the way they’d tried—and failed—to make Smith look like a bad guy, she’d survived it. And knowing that she could survive it again made her bound and determined not to worry about whether one of their kisses ended up in the press.

She knew her skin was flushed, not from embarrassment but pleasure, when he finally pulled his mouth from hers.

“Can I get either of you anything?”

He had asked both her and her mother the question, but she knew from the way he squeezed her hand that he was making sure she was okay being left alone with her mother. When they told him they were fine, he lifted her hand to his mouth for one more kiss before steering Dave away with him.

Valentina and her mother watched the two men go, until they turned a corner and were out of sight.

“My friends can’t stop talking about how one of my daughters caught a movie star,” Ava Landon said on a happy little sigh. “I still can’t believe you’re dating Smith Sullivan. “

Normally, Valentina would have tried not to feel hurt by her mother’s disbelief. She would have told herself that it was better to just let it roll off. But she knew why Smith had asked her mother to come to the set today. It wasn’t just so that Ava could cheer Tatiana on the last day of filming, but because family meant the world to him.

And he loved her so much he wanted her family to be whole again.

“Why?” Valentina’s voice was quiet, but her question was still firm. And riddled with the hurt she could no longer hide. “Why can’t you believe it?”

Her mother blinked up at her with the big blue eyes that had captivated young actors throughout Hollywood for the past decade...and her husband for two decades before that.

“Not because you aren’t beautiful, Val.” Her mother put her hand on her arm. “Your looks have always been far more exotic than mine or your sister’s. I’m not surprised he can’t take his eyes off you. It’s just that I know how much you disliked actors, and the fact that I’ve always dated them.”

“You knew that?”

“You have a very expressive face, honey,” her mother told her.

“I don’t get it.” If there was something to be said, it had to be said now. After all, once upon a time, she and her mother had been so close. Not just mother and daughter, but friends. “After Daddy died, why—” She pushed aside the image of her father to get through her question. “Why have you always dated actors since him?”

“I could never replace your father, and I never even wanted to try.” Her mother’s voice was full of the sadness that Valentina herself felt whenever she talked about him. “Early on I realized the nice thing about dating an actor is that even if they don’t really think I’m young and beautiful and desirable, they know how to fake it. Well enough that I can believe them for a while.”

This time Valentina was the one reaching for her mother. “You don’t need anyone to pretend that you’re beautiful, Mom. You
are.
”

Her mother’s eyes glimmered with tears. “I know I haven’t told you often enough, but I’m so proud of you, honey.”

Valentina knew it would be easiest just to take her mother’s compliment at face value, and to smooth over years of hurt, but even though Smith had taught her just how easy love could be once you had it...she’d also learned just how much hard work had to go into getting it sometimes.

Smith hadn’t given up on her. He hadn’t underestimated her strength, her convictions...or the love she had to give. Maybe, Valentina found herself thinking, it was time for her to stop giving up on her mother. Which meant no more dancing around each other, no more talking without saying anything.

“We used to be so close. Before Daddy died.” She’d started her relationship with Smith with a “Why?” when she’d needed to understand his reasons for pursuing her. Now she would try to restart her relationship with her mother with one. And after all these years, Valentina couldn’t stand not knowing anymore.

“Why did you leave us, too?” She felt a tear slide down her cheek and wiped at it with the back of her hand. “We needed you.” Another tear fell, too fast for her to catch before it plopped onto the cement. “
I
needed you.”

Her mother’s slim arms were surprisingly strong as they were abruptly thrown around her. “Oh honey, I’m sorry.”

But instead of falling apart, for once her mother was the strong one, another role-reversal Valentina hadn’t seen coming.

“You and your sister were always so close. I loved that you were such a tight unit, loved knowing that you would always be there to look after her, if anything ever happened to me and your father. And then, when he died so unexpectedly—” Ava Landon shook her head. “Honestly, I don’t remember much about those early months. But when I finally came back to the world, the two of you were closer than ever. Just like you are now. So close that it sometimes seemed like you didn’t need me at all. Only each other.” Her mother wiped away her own tears now. “Will you forgive me?”

Valentina had never thought about how the bond with her sister might have affected her mother. “Of course I do.” She was the one hugging her mother this time, the familiar scent of her perfume, and her softness as comforting to her now as they had been when she was a little girl.

They had a lot to catch up on, far more than they could possibly cover in the next five minutes before filming started for the day. But she did have one more question before they headed over to the set.

“Are things serious with you and Dave?”

Her mother answered her question with one of her own. “Would it be okay with you if they were? I know how much your father meant to you, how much he still does.”

Valentina instinctively put her hand over her heart. She paused to think, and to feel, before she said, “It would.”

Smiling, their arms still around each other, they walked across the lot and onto the set. And when Smith looked up at her, she could see not only the love for her in his eyes, but also his joy at the obvious ground she and her mother had made up with each other.

And then the lights were dimming and Smith and Tatiana were taking their places on set on the bed beside each other as the cameras started to roll. Valentina’s mother squeezed her hand and she pressed an impromptu kiss to her soft cheek before turning her attention to the scene just starting to play out before them all.

Jo and Graham had made love many, many times over the past few weeks. And they had both fallen helplessly in love with each other from that first clash on the street all the way through shared nights caring for her baby.

But despite both of those facts, Jo knew they hadn’t truly
shared
love with each other.

From the first moment she’d collided with him, Graham had been full of purpose, determination, intensity. And still, after they’d made love that first time, and after she’d watched him give his love to her daughter without any barriers or borders, she’d believed that no one could sustain himself on endless intensity without eventually running out of steam. When she watched him sleep, instead of the lines in his beautiful face softening, they still held the heartbreaking edge to them that tore her apart a little more every day.

When, she wondered as she reached to stroke back a lock of hair that had fallen across his forehead, would he ever let the demons that drove him go?

He murmured her name and pulled her into him, her back to his front. She loved the feel of his strong arms around her, loved lying together with him like this when they were both barely awake.

Safe. He had said he would always keep her and her daughter safe.

Which was why, at long last, in those fragile minutes between night and day, believing in him as she’d never let herself believe anyone else, she began to speak.

“I never knew my father. Just the men who came in and out of my mother’s life.”

She could tell by the way his muscles tightened slightly against hers that he had just come fully awake. Maybe she should have been frightened. Maybe this was the one risk she shouldn’t take—to trust him with a story that only she knew, that could die with her and her alone.

But somewhere along the way, she’d realized she could live with taking that risk. What she couldn’t live without was love.

“Some were nice. Some were scary. Some wanted things from me that I didn’t want to give.” His hand tightened over her chest and she tried to calm him by saying, “I was small. And fast. And I knew how to stay hidden when I had to. I also knew I needed to get out before I was ever found.”