Authors: Julia Barrett
Eventually the conversation got around to Cara’s pregnancy, her husband and her marriage. Cara’s answers were noncommittal at first, but as they approached the turn off into town, she felt her mother deserved some honesty.
“Mom, I’m going to tell you something and I want you to listen carefully.”
“Is it the baby? Or is it something else? Is it your husband?”
Cara took her eyes off the road for a moment to glance at her mother. “Yes, Mom, it’s my husband. It’s Micah. I’m leaving him.”
“I wondered,” said her mother, her voice soft. “I’m not surprised. To tell you the truth, I’ve been wondering for a while what was going on. When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow, I’m leaving Micah tomorrow. This is important, Mom, really important. Whatever happens tonight and tomorrow, whatever you see, whatever you hear, don’t interfere. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Cara, if he’s hurting you . . . ? Cara, I can’t just stand by and do nothing. I can’t do that.”
“Yes, you can and you will. Mom, Micah can be a charming man. He can also be a nightmare. I want you to pretend you are delighted to meet him. I can’t promise you he’ll be on his best behavior, but I think it will be okay, and tomorrow we’ll leave.”
“Why can’t you leave tonight? Why don’t we turn around right now and go back to the hotel. Phil can take care of everything. Phil can handle the divorce.”
“No, Mom, he can’t. This is Utah. Phil isn’t licensed to practice in Utah. Even if Micah would give me a divorce, I can’t risk letting him get his hands on my child. Not under any circumstances. You have to trust me on this, Mom. Can you do that?” Cara saw her mom nod slightly.
“Why? Why do you need me?” Her voice trembled.
“I need you with me because I think Micah will behave himself in front of you. But if this is too much, if you can’t do this, tell me now and I’ll drive you back to the hotel. I won’t be mad at you, I won’t be upset with you, and I won’t blame you. I’ll figure out a way to do this on my own.”
“No,” said her mother, determination creeping into her voice. “I’ll do this. I wasn’t there for you, honey. I wasn’t there for you for so many years. All those times you needed me and I didn’t protect you like a mother should. You’re just trying to protect your child. I can do this for you. You need me. I will do this.”
Cara’s eyes filled with tears. She reached over and took her mother’s hand. “I love you, Mom. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“You can thank me by getting out us out of this.”
“I will, Mom. I promise I will get us out of this.”
∗ ∗ ∗
The ranch house was dark when they arrived. Cara breathed a sigh of relief. She hoped Micah had kept his word and stayed late at the restaurant, but when she opened the garage door she saw Micah’s car parked in the other slot. Cara’s heart began to pound. This could be bad. This could be very bad.
Cara grabbed her mom’s overnight case.
“Stay behind me,” she said.
The two women walked into the kitchen. Cara turned on the overhead lights. She’d cleaned up all traces of Micah’s abusive behavior. The kitchen was spotless.
“Micah? Micah? We’re home. Micah, are you here?” Cara’s stomach churned. The baby was kicking like mad. She laid a protective hand across her belly. “Stay here, mom.”
Cara walked through the house, turning on lights as she went. She found Micah in his study. He sat in the dark, two lines of cocaine on the desk in front of him. He’d never before brought drugs into their home. Cara turned on a reading lamp and approached him. She noted the open bottle of scotch, the pale face, and the dark circles beneath his eyes. He was very drunk.
“Micah, I’m home. My mom’s here.”
“Get rid of her.” Micah slurred his words. “Don’t want her here.”
“I’m going to get her settled in the guest room and make some sandwiches. Are you hungry? I’ll make you whatever you want.”
“Get me a drink,” he mumbled. “I want a drink.”
Cara stayed on the far side of the desk. She reached for the bottle of scotch and filled his empty glass. He grabbed her hand as she moved to set the bottle down. His palm was clammy against hers.
“Don’t leave me,” Micah said. “Don’t leave me. I don’t wanna be alone. I can’t be alone.” He sounded like a frightened child.
Cara said, “I’m just going to help my mom unpack and then I’ll make us all something to eat. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’m not leaving you.”
“You swear? You swear on your life?”
“I swear, Micah. I swear on my life that I won’t leave you.”
“Ever? You’ll never leave me?”
“I will never, ever leave you. I promise.” Cara took a chance and walked around the desk. She moved behind him and put her arms around him, kissing the side of his neck. “I’ll never leave you, Micah, never. Now I’m going to get you something to eat.”
Cara gently disengaged herself and left the room. To say she felt surprise was an understatement. She was completely unprepared for this Micah. Drunk out of his mind, pitiful, sad, and lost, but seeing him like this didn’t change her plans. She would do what she had to do just as she knew he would do what he had to do.
By morning this Micah would be gone. He would be replaced by the vicious, brutal, manipulative, unpredictable beast she had come to know over the past year. By morning, the man who had threatened to hunt her down and kill her like a dog would be back.
∗ ∗ ∗
Cara escorted her to the guestroom. She gave her a quick tour and she told her she would bring her some supper. She instructed her mother to keep the door locked and sleep in her clothes. As Cara turned to leave the room her mother stopped her. She put her arms around Cara and embraced her.
Cara leaned against her mother, gathering strength from the older woman’s astonishing courage. Tempting as it was to cry on her shoulder, Cara couldn’t do it. She had to be strong for both of them right now.
With one ear tuned toward Micah’s study, Cara prepared chicken salad sandwiches and cut up some fruit. She poured two glasses of milk, one for her mother and one for herself. She took a tray of food to her mother’s room and kissed her good night, reassuring her once more that it would be okay. Nothing would happen tonight.
She looked in on Micah. The cocaine was gone, as were another few ounces of the scotch. She brought him a plate of food and a glass of water. He didn’t seem to notice when she set it down on the desk in front of him.
Cara sat down at the kitchen table to eat. She didn’t have an appetite, but she hadn’t eaten all day. That was irresponsible of her. Her baby deserved better. She forced herself to finish two sandwiches, an entire orange and a handful of grapes. She drank two glasses of milk.
Cara cleaned the kitchen, deciding that no matter how she dreaded it, she should get ready for bed. She was tired. Her shoulder hurt, her arms and her knees were sore.
Cara was desperate for sleep, but she knew Micah could rouse from his stupor at any time. She had to be ready.
∗ ∗ ∗
Cara was in the throes of a nightmare. It seemed so real. She could feel Ezra Payne’s hands around her throat, hard, relentless, squeezing the life from her. Her eyes flew open and she was suddenly wide awake. A hulking shape straddled her. His hands were wrapped around her throat. It was Micah.
Cara fought, clawing at his face, at his eyes, at any part of Micah she could reach. Abruptly, he stopped and rolled away. Cara threw herself in the opposite direction, choking, gasping for air. She flew out of bed and backed towards the door, prepared to run but Micah got there before her.
“Don’t leave. I won’t let you leave me.”
Cara could tell he was still very drunk.
“I’m not leaving.” Cara held a hand to her throat. “I’m just going to check on my mother. She’s in the next room, Micah. Remember?”
“Why is your mother here?”
Cara kept her voice low, calm, sweet. “She’s here to meet you, Micah. You’re my husband. She’s here to meet you and see all you’ve done for me. Everything you’ve done for me.”
“Yes, I have done a lot for you, haven’t I? I’ve given you everything, haven’t I?” Micah’s voice grew louder. “And look how you repay me. Look at you. Look how fat you’re getting. How ugly. You won’t even fuck me. You won’t even fuck your own husband.”
Cara watched his hands clench into fists. She swallowed hard. She had to make this convincing. “Of course I will. Of course I want to make love to you, Micah.” She reached for one of his hands with both of hers and held it, opening his closed fist, tugging him towards the bed. “Come Micah. Come here. Let me do the work. Let me love you.”
After a brief moment of resistance, Micah followed. She sensed he was close to tears. Cara didn’t care. She hardened herself. Right now she had to give the performance of her life. She remembered Jerry’s words, “If he tells you to suck some asshole’s dick then you suck his dick. And you act like it’s the best thing you ever tasted.” Cara did that and more. She did whatever she had to do.
∗ ∗ ∗
Cara pretended to be asleep until she heard Micah get into the shower. It seemed he intended to go into the restaurant today. She prayed that was the case. Her entire plan depended upon it. But if he didn’t, she’d find another way. She’d shoot him in cold blood if necessary. Cara hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but she couldn’t lie to herself. It might.
The water shut off. Cara turned her head away and closed her eyes. The bathroom door opened.
“Get out of bed and make me some breakfast you fucking lazy bitch.”
Cara felt a foot against her bottom. He gave her a hard shove. The beast was back.
She rose from the bed, her body stiff and sore. She knew if she looked into a mirror, she’d see new bruises on her neck. She reached for her nightgown and robe, this time she added slippers. Cara walked past her mother’s door. Micah was still in the bathroom, shaving. Cara knocked softly. Her mother opened the door a crack. Cara could tell from the look on her mom’s face that the new bruises were bad.
“Oh, Cara.” Her mother’s eyes filled with tears.
“Make sure you have everything ready to go and then come into the kitchen,” Cara whispered. “Remember, it’s just a normal day.”
Her mother nodded. Cara could see her fear. She was sorry she had to involve her, but things had deteriorated to the point where she knew if there were no witnesses Micah would kill her. She would simply disappear.
But killing two people? One of whom had a lawyer husband staying in a hotel in Salt Lake City? Micah wouldn’t do it. He’d wait for a better opportunity.
Maybe he’d hint to his nephew that Cara was a threat and let his nephew’s people do it, someone like Brian. Cara shuddered. Brian wouldn’t just kill her. He would make her suffer first. He struck her as that kind of guy.
Cara held her hand steady as she made the coffee and poured three glasses of orange juice. She set the juice on the table and cut up some strawberries and bananas. She got out eggs and a loaf of bread. Her mother joined her and the two women chatted together in normal voices. They made small talk about the weather, Phil, his practice and the conference in Salt Lake. Within a few minutes Micah joined them.
“Mrs. Jackson,” he said, taking her hand. “I’m delighted to meet you at last. Now I know where Cara gets her unusual looks.”
“Oh please.” Cara’s mother laughed. She acted her most gracious self. “Aren’t you charming? Call me Louise. After all, we are related.”
Cara noted that her mother didn’t flinch. She was so proud of her.
“Darling, you made breakfast,” said Micah. “I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to eat with you ladies. I have to get to the restaurant. We’ve had an early delivery. I’m certain I’ll be able to make it home for lunch though. You’ll be here, of course. I’d love to join you. Especially since you . . .” He looked directly at Cara’s mother, “will be leaving tomorrow. I’d like to spend as much time with you as possible.”
“We’ll be here,” said Cara. “I want to show my mom around the property.”
Cara’s mother said, “From what I can see it’s beautiful.”
“Yes it is,” said Micah. “The ranch is very isolated. I prefer the isolation. So does my wife. Oh Cara, I almost forgot. I can’t find my car keys, so I’m going to borrow your car. I grabbed your keys out of your purse. I hope you don’t mind, but I just don’t have the time to look. Maybe you can find them for me?”
Cara took a breath. She had to ask because he would expect her to ask. “Why don’t you just pull the extra key to your car off my key ring?”
“That’s too much trouble, darling. You’re staying around here anyway and I’ll be back in a few hours. I’m sure my keys will turn up by then.” He leaned over to kiss Cara on the cheek. “Goodbye, Louise, it’s very nice to meet you.”
“You too,” said Cara’s mother. “Perhaps I can whip up my famous lasagna for supper tonight?”
“That would be delightful.” Micah opened the door to the garage. The two women watched in silence as it shut behind him.
Cara rushed to grab her mother before she fell down. She helped her to a seat.
“He’s so handsome,” she said. “He’s so beautiful. My god, he looks like James. How can he be such an awful man? How can someone so charming do such bad things to you?”
Cara knelt beside her mother, wrapping her arms around her waist. “I know, Mom, I know. For a long time I asked myself the same question. I don’t ask it anymore. I don’t care anymore why he does the things he does, I just need to make sure he can never hurt my child.”
Cara’s mother reached down and laid her hand over Cara’s swelling abdomen. The baby kicked right at that moment and her mother smiled. “It’s a boy.”
“How do you know?”
“He just told me.”
Cara laughed.
“Well, I’m glad to see you can still laugh,” said her mother.
“Sometimes,” said Cara. “But now we have to get moving. I want you to call Phil. Let him know what’s going on. Tell him we’ll meet him at the hotel. Get your bag. I have to do a couple things. It won’t take me long.”
“But how will we get to Salt Lake City? Micah took your keys.”
“I have an extra key, a valet key, for both cars. Micah forgot about them. We should be able to get out of here in his car.” Cara wanted to reassure her mom, but the truth was she knew the valet key wouldn’t help. Micah was probably parked just down the road, waiting to see if they’d try to walk into town. She couldn’t call a cab. There was no taxi service in Park City. The confrontation was not only inevitable; a confrontation with Micah was essential.