Come Rain or Shine (18 page)

“You go on to work,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I need to do this alone.”

Silas frowned in disapproval and pulled her away from them. “Emmie, you are going to be upset. Whatever she has to tell you isn’t going to have a happy ending. We already know that.”

Emmie nodded. She heard the truth in his words. “I know, but I can do this.”

“I know you can, but you don’t have to do it alone,” he said.

“I won’t be alone. I’ve got to figure out how to be a family with them. I’m not alone in this. I’m sure I’ll need you later to wade through the pieces of what I’m getting ready to learn, and I’m counting on you for that,” she said, hoping he understood.

Silas rubbed his chin and nodded in agreement. “If you decide you want me to take you home, have them bring you to my office.”

Emmie made herself smile. “Thank you, Silas.”

He didn’t say a word; he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

It was stone silent as they walked out of the apartment building and parted ways.

Chapter Twenty-six

T
hey walked several blocks in silence. The streets were crowded. She had no problem with the walking; it was the pace that bothered her. Walking this fast, made it difficult to keep up. Mrs. Del Grandé’s silver hair was deceiving. She was younger than she appeared and moved with ease through the overcrowded streets. Gabe grabbed Emmie’s elbow to be sure they weren’t separated. If she were left alone now she would have no idea where she was.

After traveling down a few more streets, they moved into a less crowded area. Mrs. Del Grandé paused in front of an old apartment building. It wasn’t as fancy as Silas’s, but it wasn’t shabby either. The older woman put her finger up and counted to herself before turning to Emmie.

“Do you see the first window on the far right corner of the building, counting up three floors?” she asked.

Emmie nodded, following her gaze.

“That’s where you lived with your mother after you were born. You lived there until you were just over a year old, and she took you back to Kentucky,” Mrs. Del Grandé said.

Emmie felt her heart sink in her chest. She had lived here. She looked around the unfamiliar streets that had once been her home and felt her eyes prick with tears she refused to let fall down her cheeks. Glancing at Gabe she noticed he was no longer looking at the apartment. His eyes were focused on another building farther down the street.

His mother walked over and wrapped her hands around his. “I’m sorry, Gabe.”

“All this time our past has been two buildings away and you never told me? I must have passed by this building everyday and no one ever said a word,” Gabe said angrily. He turned to Emmie. “I grew up right there. I could throw a stone and hit your building.”

Emmie knew there were things she should be saying. Questions she should be asking but she couldn’t find the words.

“I know, son. You have a right to your anger. But you have to know, we were all just doing what we thought was best,” she said quietly.

Gabe swallowed hard and nodded. Emmie could see there were more words on his tongue but he kept them inside just like she did. Mrs. Del Grandé looked at Emmie. “Marco tried to make it work. He thought you would need to be close to him and Gabe. Your mother did a lot for Gabe too, when she first moved here.”

Emmie had to stop her mouth from dropping open. Emmie’s mother had helped care for Gabe? That didn’t make sense. She wasn’t their nanny. Marco and her mother had met in Kentucky, hadn’t they? Emmie didn’t know much about her mother’s family, but she did know they were from Kentucky.

There was something else about Mrs. Del Grandé’s words that were strange. She had said they had lived in this building to be closer to Marco and Gabe. She’d left herself completely out of the picture. Emmie frowned and turned to face the woman.

“Did you not care that my mother was living so close and helping to care for your son?” She knew it wasn’t a kind question to ask the woman but she had to know.

“Later, I would come to care,” she said, her face etched with pain. “We have another stop. I’ll be able to better explain when we get there.”

They walked the rest of the distance to the building that Gabe had pointed out as his family’s apartment where a driver was waiting for them. Emmie looked at Mrs. Del Grandé curiously.

The older woman answered her unspoken question. “For this one we need a car.”

The drive probably wasn’t as long as it felt. Emmie could have sworn they should be halfway back to Kentucky before the driver turned off the road. He pulled down a long winding tree-lined path, through a gate, and up to the front doors of large white structure. The words Channing Hospital, established 1892, were etched into the side of the building. When they exited the car Emmie was surprised they did not enter the facility. Instead Mrs. Del Grandé led the way to an iron park bench that sat facing the main entrance. She patted for Gabe to sit next to her and Emmie followed suit. They sat there for a long time. Mrs. Del Grandé breathed in and out like she was working hard to find her next word but couldn’t form the sounds. Gabe fidgeted. Emmie stared blankly at the building, seeing everything that surrounded her and nothing at the same time.

Mrs. Del Grandé’s eyes shined with unshed tears. She looked at Emmie for a long moment before she said, “This is where your story starts.”

What on earth did that mean? Emmie opened her mouth to ask the question aloud but didn’t get the chance.

Mrs. Del Grandé turned to Gabe again. “You know how I told you when you returned home from Kentucky that I was not angry with you about what has happened with you and Ava?”

Gabe nodded. Emmie looked down at her hands unsure what to do. This conversation was personal and one she shouldn’t be hearing.

“I told you it was because all babies are blessings from God. That is no exception for your child nestled in Ava’s womb,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

Emmie stood to leave them alone. She should not be listening to this. They needed privacy.

“You need to hear my words. It will help you understand where your story starts, child,” she said.

Emmie sat back down and picked at a loose thread on her new coat.

“I believe those things because I know what it’s like to lose a precious young life. When you were a toddler—” she started, but broke off as a tear ran down her cheek. She wiped it away and started again. “I had another child when you were a toddler. A sweet little girl. My angel baby that I was only ever allowed to carry in my heart. By the time I held her she had already gone to heaven.” The woman’s face was carved with signs of pain, her voice thick with emotion.

“Ma,” Gabe said, grabbing his mother’s arm. “I didn’t . . .”

The older woman sniffed and patted down her son’s hair. “I’m sorry I never told you. It’s just that a loss that great is such a burden for a young child to bear. I didn’t want you to feel it. I never want you to feel that kind of hurt. It turns you black inside and you can’t see outside of yourself. A fog of pain clouds your vision, distorting reality.”

She pulled her son away and held him at arm’s length. “So you understand why I can’t see your child as anything but a blessing . . . despite what anyone says.”

Emmie didn’t even know she was crying until she felt the tears running down her cheek. To lose a child, she couldn’t imagine. She’d lost a mother and that was the worst day of her life. Her mother. She looked back at the building and wondered what this hospital had to do with her. There was absolutely no way she could ask now. Not after what she learned. She would sit here and listen until the older woman was ready to talk again.

After a few minutes Mrs. Del Grandé stood and paced in front of them.

“You don’t have to explain anything else today. I can see you are tired,” Emmie said softly. She did not want to push this woman to tears again.

“No, it’s time for both of you to know,” she said, rubbing her hands on her skirt. “I didn’t handle the loss well. I didn’t dress, or bathe, or eat.” She turned to Gabe. “I forgot how to do anything but feel pain. It was like a blackness took hold of my insides and spread. I barely even took care of you, leaving your grandmother, and occasionally Molly, to raise the one child I had left. It came to a point when I didn’t leave the bedroom. Marco called a doctor and they brought me here where I stayed for nearly two years. They gave me so much medicine I didn’t know a hand from a foot.”

Emmie brought a shaking hand to her eye and wiped away a tear. When she looked over at Gabe, he was sitting as straight as an arrow, all signs of emotion wiped from his face.

“Do you remember that . . . me avoiding you, me being afraid to care for you, me being gone?” she asked.

He rubbed his brow. “I don’t know, Ma. I was little.”

“Your Pop did the best he could. One day he accompanied Al and Molly on a trip to Kentucky. A little vacation to take his mind off things is what he told me years later. His mind apparently was so off things that he forgot he was married.” She sneered.

“I’m not sure exactly how they met. It was somewhere outside of Louisville I think. Al’s family had business with yours, if I remember correctly. They apparently went to some party and met again . . . and again . . . and again . . . until you arrived,” she said sadly.

“I’m sorry for the pain my mother caused you,” Emmie said.

The woman sighed and shook her head. “Your mother’s doings were not your fault. Marco didn’t tell her he was married until after he’d moved her into that apartment I showed you earlier. I found out later he’d told her he was a widow.”

Her poor mother. She’d traveled all this way to be with a man she didn’t know was married. With child, she was tied to an unavailable man. She couldn’t imagine what that must have felt like. What if Silas had told her he was married today? Emmie put her face in her hands, unable to take in the sight of Gabe’s mother or the hospital. She wanted to go home. Gabe rubbed Emmie’s shoulders and gave her a somber look.

“By the time I left this place you were already born and living two buildings down from me.” She paced in the grass again and rubbed her hands together. “But when I found out, I wanted to ring your mother’s neck and take a knife to Marco Del Grandé. The medicine was still in my system and all lines of right and wrong were merely shades of gray.”

Emmie looked up. “Did you hurt my mother?”

Mrs. Del Grandé shook her head and looked down before she answered, “No. When I came home and learned the truth, I made Marco swear to never see her again or I would leave with Gabe. He agreed to stop seeing her but said you would be welcomed in our house. The first time she dropped you off I wanted to hate you. God knows how much I didn’t need the evidence of his little sin toddling around in my house.” She froze for a moment and then walked over to Emmie. The older woman rested her hand on her cheek, “But then I saw you and you had his hair, the shape of his eyes, his fingers, there was so much of you that was him. You looked like my sweet Gabe,” she put her other hand on Gabe’s knee, “and my sweet little angel baby that I’d lost. How could I hate you when you were so much like the ones I love most?”

The woman rubbed a thumb down Emmie’s cheek and patted Gabe’s leg before she walked away.

“As I said before, my brain was still fogged with pain and medicine. I had suffered so much loss and endured more heartache than most. I somehow convinced myself that the reason you looked like the ones I loved was because you were meant to be mine. You were the universe’s way of making up to me for my loss. I’d gone away to this hospital mourning a sweet little girl only to find one waiting for me when I returned. Or that’s the way I thought of it anyway. I tried to take you from her, Emmie. I asked her to bring you over to play with Gabe. She was uncomfortable in our house once I was home. She would leave you with me for an hour or two then return. One day I didn’t let her in. I told her that I could give you a better life. I imagine after only a few hours Marco returned home and took you from my arms. I really don’t remember much of that day or of the ones that followed. I came back here for a few months until they stopped my medicines all together. By the time I was out again, you were gone. I always knew she’d taken you back to Kentucky, but it was years before Marco trusted me enough to tell me you were in Bowling Green.”

Emmie watched the woman in horror as she continued explaining. That’s why even though Mr. Del Grandé had built a house in her hometown Mrs. Del Grandé had never visited.

“I felt like you both needed to understand why you were kept away from one another. About my foolish attempt to keep you Emmie, you must understand that I was unwell. I see now that I was wrong,” she said.

Wrong. She was more than wrong. She had been crazy. It was no wonder her mother had kept her away from the Del Grandé family.

Chapter Twenty-seven