Come Undone (18 page)

“I
don’t want to push you,” he said, dropping his arm. “You need to make your own
decisions.”

“Decisions?”
I repeated. It had never occurred to me that I needed to decide anything.
“David, my decisions were made years ago.” My words caught, and I tried to take
a deep breath but my chest constricted. “I need you to be strong for me,” I
said. “If we want to have any type of friendship I need to know that . . .”

“I
know,” he said thickly, shoving his hands back in his pockets.

“That
text the other night . . . If Bill had seen it . . . And now you’re working
with Lucy?”

“Is
that a problem?”

“No,
but I haven’t told her about the article yet.”

“Why
not?”

“I
don’t know,” I hesitated. “I guess it feels wrong.”

“Why?
It’s work.”

“David,
please. I’d really like us to be friends.” At that he grimaced. “Just please
try to be more discerning, and don’t mention anything to Lucy just yet.”

“All
right. I can back off.” He folded his arms across his chest and focused on the
wall behind me.

“Thank
you,” I said to deaf ears. I felt, inside, like the building; hollowed out and
gutted. I had begun to crumble under David’s command, and I couldn’t help but
feel like one of his projects. Was the deconstruction of my very being
intentional?

“Wait
here,” he said. “There’s one more thing I want you to see.” He returned a
moment later with a conspicuously red helmet on his head and another in his
hand.

“Better
put this on,” he said, handing it to me. I wrinkled my nose at it and then
looked up at him in full pout mode. My hair didn’t need another reason to act
out. His face was stern as he urged me to take it, so I reluctantly agreed,
carefully placing it atop my head.

I
followed him through the scaffolding and over to the hoist, where he motioned
me in. Tentatively, I took a step into the cage, testing the sturdiness of it.
He stepped in behind me, and it jolted to life, carrying us slowly upward. When
I realized we were approaching the roof, I stood on the tips of my toes.

“So
this will be accessible to the guests in the penthouse suite,” he said as we
stepped into the breezy sunshine. “This gutted area, next to the deck, will be
a private infinity pool. It has a glass bottom so you can see into it from the suite.”

“How
voyeuristic,” I mused. “Wow, does it hang over the edge?”

“Yes.”
He led me over toward the edge, motioning for me to stop. “It’s cantilevered so
you can swim out of the building and over the city. Listen,” he warned, “as you
can see, there’s no barrier, so keep back. I just wanted you to see the view.”

I
nodded, feeling child-like in my obedience. I rotated to take in the
astonishing three hundred and sixty degree view of Chicago, thanks to the fact
that the hotel was one of the tallest buildings in the city. I was overwhelmed
by the beauty of an absolutely temperate day; the sun shone brilliantly, and it
was just warm enough when I stood directly in it.

I
edged closer and David tensed beside me. Being so high above everything else
and completely alone with David was exhilarating. After the moment we’d just
had, with his hand on me, I felt close to him. But not just physically. I was
still buzzing from that unavoidable electric current, which had only heightened
with his touch. I craned my neck over and took a step. And then another. I
wanted to see what it would take to feel him again, to get that rush of
electricity. I rolled forward on the balls of my feet.
A little more lean
. . . until he gently gripped my arm and pulled
me back. It was no less stimulating, his touch, despite my plea to behave. I almost
wished it were something that came with a knob, so I could turn it down.
Almost.

“It’s
so . . . ,” I started, looking out at the water, trying to find the words.

“Humbling,”
he finished.

There
wasn’t one person in our world, not one person who could see us upon the glass
mountain. The breeze kicked, blowing my hair wildly so that I had to remove the
hardhat and smooth it from my face. I tucked it under my arm and peered up at
him. Another whip of the wind blew strands into my lip gloss. I could not take
my eyes off of him.

Something
in the air crackled with a charge that quickened my breath. At last, he turned
his head and looked down at me, returning my stare. Briefly, so I almost didn’t
see, he wet his lips, and I bit mine in response. I yearned to know how his
mouth would feel on my skin, and I was sure it was written on my face. Any
woman who looked as I must have right then knew exactly what she was doing.

I
stood against the wind as it picked up speed. His face was unreadable as he
looked into my eyes, but my breath shallowed in anticipation. I leaned a little
closer, readying myself for what was surely coming. The wind lashed violently, and
David abruptly looked away, squinting into the skyline.

The
helmet slipped from my grip and bounced on the ground. He swooped down and
grasped it effortlessly, handing it to me. “Put that on,” he ordered, avoiding
my eyes. “Let’s go.”

~

The floor
was quiet when I returned to work. I sneaked into my office, hoping to avoid
Beman’s third degree. In the car, the mood had changed already. David seemed
distant and although it bothered me, I knew it was for the best. It was what I
had asked him for.

After
working steadily for an hour, I headed into the kitchen for a break. Serena and
Lisa were giggling over yogurts.

“Where’ve
you been?” Lisa asked.

“She
had an appointment with David Dylan,” Serena offered.

“Oh,”
Lisa said, looking away.

“Wait,
have you seen this? Beman brought it,” Serena said, picking up a magazine. She
flipped through and held it open for me. I found myself staring at the
Architectural Digest
article. I glanced
at them impassively. Despite my messy afternoon with David, controlling my
reaction in front of most people was second nature.

“Wow,
he is so hot,” she said. “He’s like, even better in person though.”

“Sure,”
I agreed.

“Good
thing you’re married, Liv,” Lisa said. Her eyes looked me up and down before
proceeding. “How’d you get him to agree?”

“He’s
a friend of a friend,” I said, even though it wasn’t exactly the reason. It was
a question I’d been wondering myself.

“Well,
aren’t you lucky. Lucky Liv,” she said with a face that looked as though she’d
just bit into a lemon.
Lemon-y Lisa
,
I retorted in my head.

“If
it weren’t for Brock . . . , ” Serena started.

“Please,”
Lisa said with a scoff. “If he even looked your way, you’d be on your back in a
second.”

“I
would not. Brock and I are, like, soul mates I guess and, well . . . .” Lisa
and I waited for her to finish her thought, but nothing came.

I
rolled my eyes at them. “Can I keep this? It will be good for his file.”

“You’ll
have to take that up with Beman,” Serena joked. “He’ll totally want that for
his own private file.” We laughed and stopped all at once when he waltzed into
the kitchen.

“Ah,
Olivia, there you are,” Beman said.

“Here
I am,” I said, tucking the magazine under my arm.

~

“What a
lovely place,” Davena said, fingering the ‘Just Listed’ card for the house we’d
seen. I’d stopped by her place after work to go over the details, more inclined
to trust her opinion on the amenities over Jeanine’s.

“You
think?” I asked. “Bill really likes it, I’m just a little on the fence.”

“Why’s
that?”

“I
don’t know, I guess it just doesn’t feel like the right place. Across the street
though, there’s this eyesore of a home that weirdly, I liked better. At least
it had character. But Bill likes this place.”

“Well,”
she sighed heavily. “Sometimes you have to compromise a bit.”

“I’m
already compromising,” I muttered under my breath, settling further into her
sofa.

“Are
you? How?”

I
pursed my lips a moment. “I just really love the city, and I don’t know that I
want to leave.”

“Why
are you then?”

“Bill
doesn’t like it as much. He wants something quieter. And he wants children at
some point.”

“Kids
certainly aren’t quieter,” she pointed out. “Are you saying you don’t? Want
children, I mean?”

“I’m
not sure. I never really think about it, which I think means something. Why
didn’t you and Mack have kids?”

“We
did,” she said. “I had a child many years ago, but he didn’t make it a day.”

I
gasped. “I had no idea, Davena.”

“You
were a baby,” she said, waving her hand. “God’s plan. I just didn’t have the
heart to try again, and Mack was supportive. Next thing I knew, I was just too
old. I don’t regret it though, kids aren’t for everyone. Although Mack would
have been quite a father,” she mused with a smile.

She
got up and left the room, returning in just her bra and teasing her short hair
in jerky, upward motions. “You know, not everywhere is going to feel like home
right away. It takes time. It’s about whom you’re making a home with. If you
love Bill, which you do, it doesn’t matter where you live.”

As
she spoke, I couldn’t peel my eyes from the large bandage on her ribcage and
the ominous purple bruise peeking out both ends of it. Her normally robust and
fit frame had become terrifyingly frail in the short amount of time since I’d
last seen her.

She
stopped brushing, noticing my gaze, and came to sit next to me. Her breathing
was labored as she confided, “The doctor says it’s not looking good.” Despite
the statement, her sunken eyes twinkled; she’d never been one to dwell. “I’m
feeling okay though. How is Bill anyway?”

“Bill?”
I knew from previous attempts that she wasn’t looking for consolation, and that
it was best to go with the subject change. “He’s well. Busy, though. I think
we’re going to go to Waukegan this weekend since he’s been working late this
whole week.”

“Wonderful
idea. Show that Bill of yours how much you appreciate his hard work.” She lowered
her voice conspiratorially. “Get yourself over to La Perla before you go, and
ask for Alejandro. He’s gorgeous, but can’t sell lingerie for shit,” she said
with a wink. “So when you’re done looking at him, ask for Joanne. Tell her to
put it on my account.”

I
laughed loudly. “Oh, Davena, you are something else. Do you ever stop?”

“Never,
it drives Mack crazy. But you only have one shot at life, Olivia, and take it
from me, you don’t want to miss
anything
.
If you want something, say it out loud. If you love him, tell him so.
Seriously.” I was stunned by her insistent tone and sudden grave expression, something
I’d never seen, even when she’d revealed her diagnosis to me. Her eyes lingered
on mine a moment while her words hung in the air, and then she looked away. “Listen,
sweetie, can I keep this? I know Mack would love to put in his two cents.”

“Definitely,
that’s an extra. Have him call us when he gets a chance – I’d better get
home though. Dinner won’t cook itself.”

“Ta-ta,”
she said as she walked me to the door. “See you soon.”

On
the way to the train, Bill called from his office, triumph in his voice. “Cabin
is booked. Can’t wait for a weekend away. I might even get to relax.”

“Well
don’t get too used to it,” I said. “And don’t forget to call Andrew.” Bill and
Andrew had been looking forward to cabin time for a while, waiting for a warmer
weekend. Fishing wasn’t my thing, but an enormous amount of alcohol usually
helped. That, and Lucy’s company.

“I’m
on it,” he said.

CHAPTER 1
4

May 11, 2012 7:51 AM

Come by here 11:30. Gretch meeting us @ shop.

May 11, 2012 8:02
AM

K see you soon

I
put my phone away and gave the next two hours my full attention so I wouldn’t
feel bad about taking a long lunch with Lucy. When ten o’clock hit, I hopped in
a cab downtown to meet with one of our top bachelors, taking extra care to
review the file this time. I scrunched my nose, trying to remember if we had
profiled a freelance photographer the year before.

Brian
Ayers swung the door open with enthusiasm and greeted me with a big hug. “What
is that scent, it reminds me of Paris!”

“I’m
not wearing anything,” I said, giggling shamelessly. “I’m Olivia Germaine,
associate editor for
Chicago M.
”