Coming Around Again (13 page)

“You’ve done amazing,” he said, taking her by the
arm and leading her to a downstairs room. “Let me write you the cheque before
you accuse me of making you forget.”

“Appreciated,” Stella smiled lightly. “Niels is
going to be here in a bit, so I thought I’d make myself scarce.”

Alec glanced up from his cheque book, a frown
shifting the silicone scars. “I thought you guys were okay?”

Stella sighed heavily, pressing the tips of her
fingers to her forehead. “There is only so much I can do. And if I don’t have
to spend time in the same vicinity of a man I am still frustratingly in love
with, then I won’t do it.”

Alec rounded the desk to stand in front of her.
“You seem so together.”

“I’m not. It’s a front because I promised my
children I wouldn’t fight with him anymore. I told myself not to make it easy
for him to see how much I wished everything was back to normal. It’s near
impossible to bring myself to the reality of knowing he only calls me because
he has to and not because he wants to hear my voice. I can’t do it all the
time. I just can’t.”

Alec leaned forward and cradled her face gently
between his palms before he pressed his lips to hers. Stella’s eyes widened and
her eyebrows flew off into the stratosphere. He lifted his head and she
blurted, “I thought tears were a turn-off.”

He winced. “I hoped the distraction would be nice.”

“Erm…” She felt far too disconcerted to feel
anything else about the kiss. Actually, it felt a lot like infidelity.

He leaned toward her again, but a thump on the door
followed by, “Dad! Someone’s at the door!”

With a soothing stroke over her arms, Alec
insisted, “Don’t run away. I’ll be back in a bit.”

She covered her mouth with her hand, and then
looked over to see if Alec had completed the cheque. He hadn’t signed it.
Christ alive! What was wrong with him? She
wanted to get out!
As if his kiss was good enough to keep her rooted to the
spot.

“Stella,” Niels’ voice made her jump sky-high.
“Haven’t you finished?”

“Hi!” Now the irrational guilt threatened to
overwhelm her. “Just waiting for payment.”

“What’s the matter?” he asked her. “You look
rattled.”

“I’m fine. It’s probably just a migraine coming.”
Alec followed him and entered the room.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Here’s your cheque.” He
signed it and handed the piece of paper to her, but before he released it, he
asked, “Are we still on for that retro night?”

Stella risked a glance at Niels whose face turned
to Medusa-induced stone. “Um, sure.”

“Great I’ll call you.” He gave her a kiss on both
cheeks. “Drive home safe.”

“Sure. I’ll just get my stuff. See you…erm, both.”

She collected her things and hurriedly said goodbye
to the twins before leaping into her car. How she longed for the day when being
innocently in the room with another man wouldn’t feel like she was cheating on
her ex-husband.

Move on,
she reminded herself.
He has.

***

Niels watched Alec for a moment, and then said
lightly, “I’d highly recommend, for your own health, that you don’t see my wife
as a prospective notch on your bedpost.”

Alec raised his eyebrows. “Not sure you have a say
in that anymore, seeing as she’s your ex-wife.”

“I do. And let me tell you, she’s a lot sharper
than the bimbos you normally strike for. I won’t have to touch you. She’ll
decimate you all on her own.”

Alec smirked. “You credit her with a bit too much
savvy.”

“Not at all. Just be aware of what happened the
last time you decided to eat where you sleep. Rats.”

Alec’s face tightened. “Look, don’t be a dick
because you get what you’ve thrown away.”

“I never said Stella was on the market. Not for
you.” Niels called for the twins. “Let’s go.”

With a tight smile to Alec, Niels led his children
out of the house. No. He would not allow such a man to enjoy the sweetness of
Stella. Not ever.

***

Midnight.
Please let me get some sleep. For the
love of all that is merciful. Ooh, phone.
“Yes, Niels?”

“Why are you awake?”

“I’m talking to you.”

“What was wrong?”

Stella struggled to sit up and switched on her
bedside light. Through a yawn, she answered, “The fact that it’s a Saturday
night and I’m trying to sleep, but you are interrupting it.”

“I asked a question.”

“And I don’t understand why you’re concerned. I was
fine.”

“I know you,” he reminded her gently. She breathed
out slowly, thinking of what to give away. Not so long ago, she’d have draped
herself over her bed and told him about Alec’s flirting; now she recognised it
as flirting and not just a parent to another sharing support. She’d have
struggled from keeping Niels in the bed rather than halfway to Alec’s home to
batter his head in. But being able to share… Deeply missed.

“It was just hard work.”

“What did Alec say to you?”

“About?”

“Your hard work.”

“He appreciated it.”
A bit too much
. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Since I know you, I don’t need to give you any
words of wisdom, but because I do care and that’s impossible to turn off… Be
careful.”

“Of who? No one can hurt me any more than you
have.”

He was silent for a while, and Stella cursed her
impulse. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s the truth, Stella, don’t apologise for being
honest with me. But I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t tell you. All that
glitters…”

So he had an idea. What was it with Niels? It was
like he had some sort of internal alarm where she was concerned, and he knew
just when to make sure no one would charter her territory. “Thanks for the
concern.”

“Since I can’t hurt myself, just be assured that if
anyone else hurt you, I’d have no problem in burying them somewhere for future
generations to find.”

That made her laugh. He was very concerned about
the environment. “Of course you will. Let me get some sleep, I’m knackered.”

“All right. Goodnight, Stella.”

She put down the phone and stared up at her ceiling
for a moment.
Fuck it
. She picked up her mobile and sent Alec a quick
text. He replied within a few minutes in affirmation.

Let’s see about what glitters.

The retro night was complete with patrons in acid
bright T-shirts, combat trousers, tank tops, skater dresses in that awful wallpaper
floral print and Doc Martins. Strobe lights flashed and dry ice smoke filled
the venue. With a packet of pork scratchings and pints in his hands, Alec made
his way to the table Stella and her friends had commandeered. “To our misspent
youth!”

He toasted to them all to the sounds of cheers.
Blur blasted through the speakers and Stella’s friends vanished. Alec waited
until they were out of sight before pulling her into his arms and kissing her.
She couldn’t help but feel the practice in his movements, from the way he
dotted kisses over her lips, to the coaxing ease with which he parted her
mouth. She didn’t want to be an actor in the play of her life, but Alec wasn’t
making it difficult to feel that way. Still, it was nice to be desired. Even if
it was a bit of pretence.

“I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he breathed,
resting his forehead against hers. She stepped out of his embrace and reached
for her beer.

“Opportunity and all,” she said, trying to increase
her volume over the speakers. He cupped a hand to his ear and she shook her
head. “Don’t worry.”

What was she doing here? Pretending she was twenty
again with people who all had a curfew—they had babysitters to get back for. So
did she. Niels. It was her only reason to refuse, should Alec decide to invite
himself home with her. Not that Niels deserved any sort of explanation for what
she did in her own time. But for her former husband, it would be a matter of
principle. The mother of his children hanging out like a teenager and bringing
men home. Men said children knew. Good lord.

Unless she went home with Alec. Stella told herself
off firmly.
Don’t be a silly bitch. Don’t
go back to having sex for the sake of having sex. You’re not staying pure for
anyone. Just have a little self-respect.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Alec interrupted, his
face uncomfortably close to hers.

Brace yourself
, she thought. “Um… Look, Alec you’re nice and
everything but…”

“Oh please don’t
but
,” he begged catching both her hands in his. “I know you’re
still confused with Niels. But there’s something here.”

He’s over-egging the
pudding,
she thought with instant
mistrust. Why was he so intent on seeing her? The only thing they had in common
was divorce. And his was fresher than hers. If he was so betrayed, what was the
hurry?

“It’s barely started,” she said lightly. “Nothing
that neither of us can’t get over.”

His eyes narrowed briefly. “He doesn’t want you
back.”

Stella gripped the edge of the table and looked at
Alec with impassivity. “What are you talking about?”

“Niels. He told me. He wasn’t want to get back with
you. If you’re holding out for him to change his mind, you’ll be on your own
forever.”

“As if. I know that man. He doesn’t share his plans
with anyone. Never with such certainty.”

“You’re being blind, Stella,” he said, bitterness
flaring in his eyes. “When you realise you’re wasting your life, you’ll see.
And I hope it’s not too late.”

“Is this about sex?” she asked bluntly. “I’m not
going to crumble from the inside out if I don’t sleep with you.”

“Or anyone else.”

“This isn’t about Niels. This is about you being
unfairly pushy.” Alec opened his mouth to argue with her, but one of Stella’s
friends jogged over.

“Phew! Hot in here!” He glanced between Stella and
Alec. “So I’m going to get another drink. Do you two want anything?”

Stella sent him a smile. “No, thank you. Sweet of
you to ask.”

He nodded and with a wary glance toward Alec, who
had been nothing but overly friendly from the start of the night, Stella’s mate
bounced off toward the bar. She looked away, brushing damp curls up into the
bandana holding the majority of her hair from her face.

She wished he hadn’t kissed her. Not just that her
children warned her she couldn’t date one of their friends’ fathers, but she
didn’t feel right about the whole situation. Something about him wasn’t ringing
true.

“You like me, don’t you?” Alec said into her ear.
She moved back, but realised that the music had increased in volume. She’d have
to lean in if he was to hear, if not acknowledge what she said to him.

“I think you’re a perfectly nice man. Just not for
me.”

“What’s happened? I thought we were all right at
Philip’s birthday? I thought that’s why you called me to go out?”

Now what, she was a
tease?
“It was just a kiss, Alec, I
haven’t promised you the world. And I…I’m being honest, I just don’t think
anything will work out.”

“Because of Niels.”

“Because I say so.” The repetition of her
ex-husband’s name on Alec’s tongue was nothing less than wearing. “Me. Not him.
Me.”

“He’s said something to you, hasn’t he?” Alec
demanded, his voice full of suspicion. “What did he tell you?”

“Contrary to your staunch position, I can make up
my own mind, without my ex-husband pulling my strings.”

“I don’t believe that. Not for this change in you.”

“Good grief, man! That’s it. I’m going home. I
fully admit this was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

Picking up her things, she bypassed her friends
with a wave and eased her way out of the club. Alec hurried after her. “Stella,
wait, wait! Don’t leave…”

She continued until she came to the corner of the
street, looking out for a black cab. No minis for her tonight, she would
black-cab it comfortably back to Richmond. To her own bed. To peace and quiet.

Honestly, she’d forgotten how delicate men’s egos
were. Her age demanded she not deal with anyone’s sensitivities—anyone who
wasn’t related to her by blood and under the age of eleven.

“Alec. I said you’re a nice guy. Whatever went on
with you and your wife is nothing to do with me. Just like what went on between
me and Niels is nothing to do with you. It’s me. I don’t want anything…romantic
or otherwise between us. Your son and my sons are good friends. Let’s not make
it any more awkward.”

“It doesn’t seem right. There’s this change in you
and I know it’s because he’s warned you off me. He doesn’t want to see you
happy.”

“Why? What’s wrong with you?” Stella asked, her
spider senses tingling with full awareness. “What do you think you’ve done is
so bad, that you’re afraid Niels has told me?”

“He’s lying. Whatever he’s said, it’s not true.”

Stella looked down at her Doc Martins. “You’re not
convincing me. You’re like my boys when they’re avoiding the truth, even though
they know I’ll find out sooner or later.”

“So I didn’t behave well when I was married. That
shouldn’t taint everything else in my future.”

“How bad?” she asked gently.

Alec’s jaw worked. “I may not have been entirely
faithful. But my wife was never at home. What did she expect?”

Oh, gross
. “How did you keep that quiet?”

He snorted. “She wouldn’t want anyone knowing that
she wasn’t desirable enough to keep me satisfied. Hurts her brand, you see. We
agreed everything on terms if I kept that quiet.”

How utterly disgusting. But of course, it was to
his advantage as well if he stayed quiet. Why else wouldn’t the tragic,
divorced, single father be of romantic interest to all those fluttering-eyed
females at the school?

Strike St. Josephs. If little Philip ended up
there, then for certain, her twins would be going somewhere else. Anywhere
else. Far away from their toxic father.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said eventually.
“Niels didn’t say a word about what happened in your marriage. The misgivings
were all with me.”

Alec sent her a bitter smile. “He said you were
savvy.”

She shrugged as a cab rattled to a stop next to
her. “Richmond, please.” Alec opened the door for her.

“It’s a real shame,” he said, his voice tinged with
regret. “We could have had something really good together.”

“Nothing based on lies ever works out,” Stella
reminded him. The cab rolled off to the west and Stella extracted her phone.
There on her screen sat a picture of Niels and the boys, each of them with a
milk moustache and the caption
See what you’re missing?

She replied back to him.
You’re a dick.

He called her in less than a minute. “What have I
done now?”

“Don’t send me shit like that. As if I should be at
home with you and the twins,” she hissed at him, all her still-unresolved anger
bubbling over. “Don’t you dare!”

“Stella, it was…”

“If you say it was a joke, I can tell you, it’s
not. Fucking. Funny.”

“Why are you crying? What’s happened?”

He sounded so desperate, it made her breakdown all
the more. “Just…don’t do things like that. It’s not fair. It’s not funny. It’s
not right.”

“All right. I apologise. Has someone…other than
me…hurt you?”

“No,” she sniffed. “No one.”

“Not even your new friend Alec?”

“He could only give me the equivalent of a paper
cut. I barely know him for him to hurt me,” she said dismissively. “Why didn’t
you tell me he shagged around behind his wife’s back? Is that some guy code?”

“If I had said a word to you, would you have
believed me?”

She would have assumed that he needed to mark his
territory and ex or not, Stella was unreservedly Niels’ territory. “Probably
not.”

“Ah. You worked your Stella magic on him and he
divulged his secrets. Yes, he was a man whore. And yes, I told him you are
smart enough to work him out on your own. Whether I said anything or not, you
wouldn’t have felt right about him.”

True, but not that Niels needed to know. “It
doesn’t matter. Like I said to him, nothing barely happened.”

“Barely?”

“Goodnight, Niels.”

“What do you mean by barely?”

“Decree Absolute, remember? You don’t need to know.
Speak to you later.”

Just as he began a full-blown, placarded protest,
she ended the call and sat back in the cab.

“You all right?” the cabbie asked eventually.

“I will be.” She sighed. “One day.”