Coming Home to Texas (11 page)

“Oh, I asked him if I should tell the boys the story of how I got here, and he gave me some high-sounding speech about why I should.”

Ellie thought she would agree with the good pastor on that point. “What'd he say?”

Nash's face reddened just a bit. “Pastorly stuff.”

Now he was hedging, and she wasn't standing for it. She set down the pitcher of lemonade and moved to stand in front of him. “Pastorly stuff like what?”

“He said.... Well, he said they ought to hear it because it would show them how a strong man of faith lets adversity make him stronger.”

Ellie could tell the compliment both unnerved Nash and affected him deeply. “He's right, Nash. These guys could learn a lot from you.”

“I'm not so sure.”

Ellie waited until Nash's gaze finally returned to her. “Well, I am. You're a rare kind of man, Nash. There aren't enough men like you in this world.”

He held her gaze for a moment, then looked away over her shoulder at the kids. “You don't have to tell me the world's mostly full of Dereks. And what's-her-names.”

“Katies? Friends who'll turn on you quick as you can blink?” Some days Ellie couldn't decide which betrayal hurt worse—Derek's betrayal of her heart or Katie's betrayal of her friendship. “Katie made me feel as if anybody I let close could just turn on me.” She looked at Nash, stung by just what a walking wounded shell of a human she seemed to have become. “I don't like who I am right now. I'm sour and brittle and pretty useless. I hate what Derek and Katie have made me into, but I'm not sure I can fix it just yet.”

His eyes held no judgment. “You should have seen me during my weeks in the hospital and rehab. Sour and brittle? You betcha. Walking wounded? That was me, literally and figuratively. I don't think Derek and Katie will win this one. You'll fix it. It'll just take time.”

“Just time, huh?”

“Well, time, faith, grace and, in my case, a lot of sushi. Guys eat their feelings, too, you know.”

She laughed at that. “A sushi binge? Can't quite picture that.”

He wiggled his fingers. “It involves a lot of octopus and eel. And rice.”

She laughed harder and made a face. “Eww. I'll stick to Lolly's blondies. And Gran's brownies. And biscotti. And...well, you get the picture.”

Nash cleared his throat. “Eel is vastly under-appreciated in the comfort-food market. You should look into it, professionally speaking.” His serious words were totally undercut by the laughter in his tone and his eyes.

“No, thanks.”

“No, really. Tell you what. You led me to barbecue. I'll lead you to sushi. Another long drive in the Z, because I'm reasonably sure we'll have to go to Austin for this.”

The first meal had been spur-of-the-moment, a coincidental kind of thing. This felt like a bit more. She looked at Nash. “Are you...asking me out?”

Nash stepped back. “Of course not. I need to scope out Austin's decent sushi joints—for survival purposes and all—and it'd be more fun if I didn't have to do it alone.” He held up his hands. “I'm not talking about anything even close to a date. This is more of a Support Your Local Sheriff campaign.”

Ellie crossed her arms over her chest. “I saw that movie. It had James Garner, not raw sea creatures.”

“Don't think of it as raw. Think of it as extremely fresh.”

“So fresh it wiggled only hours before?”

“You're looking at this all wrong. Think of it as the first step in putting yourself back out there—a small act of courage between
friends
.”

Ellie felt as if her courage had fled the county lately. Maybe sushi wasn't a bad place to start finding it again. “Okay. But no eel.”

Chapter Eleven

N
ash had just finished washing the last of the ranch mud off the church van when Pastor Theo walked across the parking lot from his home just west of the church. He pointed to the buckets and sponges at Nash's feet. “That's above and beyond the call of duty.”

Squeezing out a sponge, Nash replied, “Car guys can't leave a car dirtier than when they found it. It'd have kept me up all night anyway, and I had some thinking to do.”

That put a worried look on Theo's face. “The outing didn't go well?”

Nash dropped the sponge on the grass and began coiling the water hose he'd pulled from the garage. “No, it went great. Couldn't have gone better, actually.”

“And so you're thinking about...?”

He knew he should have kept his remarks to himself. Pastors were too good at this sort of thing, asking probing questions and never leaving well enough alone. “Nothing.”

Theo chuckled. “Hey, you don't have to tell me, but I will say that's the furthest nothing from ‘nothing' I've heard in a while. Maybe you ought to talk about whatever it is.”

Come to think about it, it might be a good idea to get Pastor Theo's help in keeping things within the right limits with Ellie. He needed someone to hold him accountable so that dumb ideas like sushi-exploration non-dates didn't happen again. Nash turned the empty bucket over and sat down on it. “It's not a whatever. It's a whoever.”

Theo did the same with a second bucket. “I reckon those kids can be a handful.”

Nash shook his head. “That's not exactly it.” He ran his hands through his hair, finding it hard to even get the words out. He opted for quick and direct. “I lost my head and asked Ellie out today.”

“Ellie Buckton? Yarn-gal-knitting-teacher Ellie?” Theo looked surprised, but not unpleasantly so. The man had a “happy consequence” look in his eyes that made Nash sorry he'd opened his mouth.

“Well, yes, but I was thinking more about the just-been-cheated-on-by-her-fiancé-and-best-friend-and-is-heading-back-to-Atlanta-someday-soon Ellie. I was able to stop and rephrase it to just a friendly outing when my brain kicked back into gear, but when I first brought up the idea of us having dinner, some part of me was asking her out.”

Theo kicked a stone from the driveway. “And asking her out would be bad.”

“Are you familiar with the term
rebound
, Theo?” Theo had married his high school sweetheart, so Nash didn't think he had any idea what it was like to swim in the shark-infested waters of a dating pool like LA sported.

Theo scratched his chin. “Vaguely. And I do remember about a certain place having ‘no fury like a woman scorned.' Only this is Ellie Buckton we're talking about. Stubborn? Maybe—she is a Buckton, after all. Fury and scorn? I'm not so sure.”

“She told me she had to bite her tongue to keep from telling the girls all men are jerks. Even she admits she's a mess right now, and what woman in her spot wouldn't be? To find your fiancé getting all cozy with your best friend?”

“Oh, and you know nothing about what it feels like to be betrayed. You two have nothing in common.” Theo pasted a mock-serious look on his face. “I can see where a date would be a problem. Good thing you caught yourself in time.”

Nash returned Theo's sarcasm with the glower it deserved.

“Have you always been this serious about everything, Nash?”

Now, that wasn't a fair question. After what he'd been through, wasn't he entitled to think carefully about where he invested himself? And that was just the trouble—he was starting to be less careful. He was already caught up in rowdy kids and was in very real danger of getting caught up in a self-proclaimed “romantic disaster zone.”

“Maybe” was the only answer he could give.

Theo put his hands in his pockets. “You and Ellie seem like you would make fine friends. Are you worried it could become something more?”

“It
shouldn
'
t
become anything more.”

“Not even if she might want it to?”

“That's just it, Theo. She's in a weird place right now. That Derek guy was a total jerk to her, so now anyone who treats her halfway nice is going to look like Prince Charming.”

“And you're no Prince Charming?”

Nash sat up straight. “I'm a stand-up guy. But that's the problem. I have to tamp down this urge to treat her like she deserves, because that could just fire things up between us, and that can't happen.”

“That can't happen,” Theo repeated. “Because she's on the rebound and she's leaving.”

Wasn't it obvious? Nash got up and began to collect the wet towels from around the car. “I'm not up for that. I'm thinking I'm probably not up for anything like a relationship for a while. Sure, I haven't come off some big breakup, but I've still got a lot of things to sort out.”

“Well, if all that's true, what made you ask her out in the first place?”

“She got all mushy on me. Came at me with the same sort of stuff you said about not having lost my gift and how she was impressed with my courage with the guys' stuff. It got to me, and next thing I know I'm asking her out for octopus.”

Theo gave him a quizzical look.

“Sushi,” he explained as he worked, agitation overtaking him. “Suddenly I don't just want decent sushi, I want sushi with
her
. My brain goes out the window and I ask. I don't even realize it's coming out of my mouth. And then she balks and says, ‘Are you...asking me out?' And my sense slams back into gear and I backpedal about friends and Support Your Local Sheriff, and... Well, it was a mess.” Nash tossed the collected towels into the bucket he'd been sitting on. “So, yes, I have a little thinking to do.”

Theo re-righted the bucket he'd been sitting on and began to toss the sponges into it. “Can you go out for—” he hesitated an absurd second before saying “—octopus and keep it friendly with Ellie?”

“I don't see where I have any choice. I told her dinner would be just as friends. If I back out now, I'll look like just another jerk of a guy.” He looked at Theo, grateful to have someone with whom he could talk this through. Loner by nature that he was, he hadn't really felt a lack of friends. He had plenty of friendly citizen associates and coworkers, but not many real friends—until this moment. Surely that was part of the reason Ellie had gotten under his skin so fast. “I'm pretty sure I can keep this on a friendly basis. I just can't let her...get to me...like that again.” He found one last towel and wrung it out. “But honestly, Rev, the color of those eyes ought to be illegal.”

Theo laughed again. “Ah, the legend of the Buckton blues. I wasn't in town at the time, but I imagine my secretary, Dottie, could tell you stories of how Gunner Jr. and his brother, Luke, knew how to use those blue eyes to their advantage. And I suppose Gunner's wife could back you up on the power of those eyes. If it helps, I agree you need to be careful with her. Ellie is a dear girl in a very vulnerable spot.”

“No kidding.”

“At the same time, I find myself thankful it is
you
she is turning to and not someone who might take advantage of that vulnerability. Better you taking care of her now than someone who will just hurt her more.”

Nash hadn't thought of it that way. He could keep Ellie safe from someone who would stomp on her already tender heart. “If I just keep in mind that she's leaving soon, I could pull this off. We are working really well together on this project.”

“The after-school program is going far better than I had ever hoped. You two make a great team. And you strike me as very capable of proving to her that not all guys are jerks. In fact, I can't help thinking our young men could learn a lot from watching you treat a pretty lady with respect and kindness, rather than... Well, you know.”

He did know. Boys that age often had brains stuck in one gear, and it was not one associated with gentlemanly behavior. It wouldn't hurt to teach them how to tune up their social conduct alongside how to tune up transmissions. “Okay, so maybe my inviting Ellie to dinner wasn't the blunder I thought it was.” He walked over to Theo, extending a friendly hand. “I've got a better handle on it now. Thanks for helping me think through this.”

“I'm not sure I did that much, but I'm glad to help. I'd like to think you and Ellie are getting something out of this program for yourselves, too. Most times when I sink myself in a project, I find I get more out of it than all I think I'm putting into it. God's economy is pretty amazing that way.”

“I hope that's true.”

“For what it's worth, I really do think you haven't lost your knack with youth. I never have thought God's gifts come with expiration dates. But don't be inviting me out for octopus anytime soon, okay?”

Nash was glad to feel a laugh come easily. “Deal.”

* * *

Saturday morning, Ellie showed her niece the layers of soft brown stacked up on the worktable. The down and hair the teens had collected had been washed and combed out and processed into fluffy sheets aptly called clouds. Normally the process took a long time, but a local mill had had an immediate slot open when she'd called. It felt like a little slice of encouragement from God. “Here they are, ready for spinning.”

Audie touched the soft layers. “How'd it get so fluffy?”

“The place I sent it to washed it and combed it on a giant round brush. It's called carding, and it lines up all the hairs so they lay nice like this. Next I'll take it to another place, and they'll spin it up to become hanks of yarn.”

“How?”

“Well, it's a big mill, so they use big machines, but...” Ellie wracked her brain to try to remember if she'd left a drop spindle somewhere on the ranch. Yes, there should be one in Gran's chest of yarn and fabrics that she stored in the guesthouse. “You know what? I can show you. Come with me.”

Ellie grabbed the keys to the guesthouse from their hook in the kitchen and together they walked there. Audie stopped before the front door, little shoulders pulled back in pride. “This is where we lived before Gunnerdad and Mom got married, you know.”

Working the key in the lock, Ellie gave her niece a broad smile. “I sure do. And I sure am glad you're part of our family now. It's really nice to see my brother so happy to be Gunnerdad.” Every time Ellie said the inventive nickname, her heart glowed in true happiness for Gunner—and cinched a bit in sorrow for the happily married life that was not to be hers, at least not yet.

They made their way to the spare closet in the back room. Audie's eyes popped wide at all the treasures and trinkets stashed away—ribbons, fabrics, yarn, some old pieces of china, picture frames—countless remnants of the three generations of Bucktons who'd lived on the ranch. “I used to come here all the time when I was not much older than you, picking out things to put together and make new things.” She squatted down next to Audie, who was running her hands over a stack of linen handkerchiefs, all embroidered with a big blue
B
. “Gran made those for my grandfather. Aren't they beautiful?”

“Pretty,” the girl said. She looked at the materials with the same fascination Ellie had bore at her age. The kinship of creative minds bloomed warm and wide between them.

“You know, you can use anything in this chest you like to make things, but you have to ask Gran or me first.” She pulled out a silver picture frame. “Some things are too precious to use any old way.” Turning the old gray-brown photo toward Audie, she explained, “Look here. This is Gran when she was a new bride. And that's my and Gunnerdad's grandfather.”

Audie's nose wrinkled. “Why aren't they smiling? Mom and Gunnerdad are smiling all over the place in our photos from the wedding.”

Ellie had given the same reaction when she had first seen the photograph. “Back then, people had to look serious in their photos. It looks kind of funny to us now, doesn't it?”

“Sure does.”

“But I can tell you, Gran and Grandad were happy. As happy as your mom and Gunnerdad are now.”
As happy as I wanted to be
.

Audie sat back on her heels. “You're not getting married anymore, are you?”

That was Audie: direct as an arrow and just as fearless. “No, sweetie, I'm not.”

“Are you really sad?”

Ellie swallowed back the huge lump that rose in her throat. She didn't want to get into the ravages of unfaithfulness with a nine-year-old, but it would also be wrong to gloss over what had happened. “I am. The man I was going to marry did something that hurt my heart very much. And you should never marry someone who thinks it's okay to hurt you that deeply.” She took a deep breath and returned to digging through the closet. “So, while I'm really sad right now, I think it was the right choice. And I'm trying to trust that out there somewhere, God has the perfect guy for me just waiting.”

“Mom tells me God had Gunnerdad waiting for her when she was ready. We were both really sad when my daddy died. So if we can be happy again, I think you can be, too.”

Wise, wise words from someone so young. Ellie hugged her niece. “Thank you, darlin'. That feels really good to hear. Sometimes the right choices hurt, and it's good to have friends beside you to say things like what you just said to me.”

“Gunnerdad says someone is shooting at our bison. I love our herd. Hurting them isn't a right choice at all. I'm mad at whoever is doing that. It's wrong.”

Ellie stopped rummaging. “It is. And I'm mad at whoever is doing it, too. And when I'm mad or sad, I knit. Or make something. Or bake and eat too much of it.”

Audie scrunched up her face. “Is that why we're in here? Looking for something to make?”

Ellie laughed—the wet, laughing-through-tears kind of laugh that was her best source of healing these days—and poked Audie on the nose. “Sort of. We're looking for my drop spindle so I can show you how to make yarn. We'll send most of it to the big machines, but the best part is that we can get started right now. And this is so easy, even you can do it.
Aha!
Here it is.” She pulled out the polished wooden spindle she'd received as a Christmas present when she was fourteen. “I'm going to teach you how to use this because I want you to have it.”