Commanded (13 page)

A couple hours later, Sawyer strode into his bedroom. He’d decided to bring Chloe
back to his house immediately, to neutralize the memories of being abducted there,
and a splash coming from the adjoining bathroom told Sawyer that Chloe was relaxed
and enjoying her bath. He grabbed his T-shirt at the base of his neck and pulled the
fabric over his head, then removed his socks and lowered himself onto the soft mattress,
staring at his toes.

His eyes shut as he inhaled and exhaled slowly, using the techniques he’d learned
as a sniper to slow his heart rate.

Only when he sensed someone standing in front of him did he reopen them. There stood
Chloe in the glow from the bathroom light. The beautiful angel who’d come into his
life under tragic circumstances watched him with uncertain eyes. His fingers longed
to hold her close. His heart ached to be near her. “Come here,” he said softly.

Holding the towel wrapped around her, she approached, leaving damp footprints on the
hardwood floor. The emotion he saw in her features left him nearly winded.

When she reached him, he ran his fingers down her arm, relishing her shiver. He noted
how her pupils dilated and her lips parted. Lost in the moment, he stroked her creamy,
smooth flesh over and over.

Christ, I need you,
whispered his heart.

Overwhelmed by her, he slid his hands around her back, pulling her onto his lap. Her
wet hair hung over her shoulder, and she smelled of vanilla bubble bath. A raw, intense
sense of protectiveness rushed through him. “Tonight scared me,” he whispered, caressing
her face.

Her eyes fluttered shut. “It scared me, too.”

“I never get scared.” He waited for her eyes to reopen before he continued. “Never,
Chloe. I’ve been trained to not be afraid. To always stay calm. But tonight I realized
what a fragile thing you are. Now that I have you, I cannot lose you.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “Sawyer…”

“I
need
you.” Somehow saying it aloud cemented it into his soul. “Goddamn it, I need you
as much as I need air to breathe. You’ve changed everything for me. Now that I’ve
tasted life with you, I can’t go back. Not ever. Do you understand that?”

One tear slid down her rosy cheek. “Yes, I do.”

He cupped her cheek. “Just before I took the shot tonight, I realized that I’d give
up everything in my life if only I could keep you safe.”

“I’m okay.” She kissed his thumb as it brushed across her lips.

“Yes, I know that you are.” He couldn’t let her go. He didn’t want to ever again.
“But tonight changed everything, hasn’t it?”

“Changed things how?”

He gazed into the prettiest blue eyes he’d ever seen, which held a soul even more
beautiful. “You need to tell me you’re past your ex. You have to tell me that you’re
in this completely.”

Her lips parted. But instead of giving him the answer he hoped for, she asked, “You
know what I thought about tonight?”

“What?”

“When I became the most scared, I thought about one thing.” She stared at him, no
hesitation showing on her face. “I wanted your arms around me, no one else’s. And
you know what?”

“Tell me.”

“It made me realize that I want you. I want us to be together.” Another tear trickled
down her cheek. “I’m in this completely.”

His smile came instantly. “I’m so damn happy to hear you say that.” Determined to
take what now belonged to him, he lowered his hands and nudged her towel open, letting
it fall to the ground. Her erect nipples caught his attention, and he played his fingers
over one, enjoying the way the bud puckered further.

She arched her back, inviting him to play with her. Her hands came up to his nape,
running over his head. Her touch brought heat. It also brought a yearning to consume
her. Sex was sex. This, between them, was something different. Something better.

Something special.

Bracing her back with his hands, he took her nipple in between his lips, sucking it.
Her soft moans encouraged him. Yet tonight he needed more from her. He craved more
than a fuck that would leave them screaming in pleasure. Determined to get all he
wanted from her, he kept his arms tight around her and rose, placing her in the middle
of his bed.

Sure, he could lick her swollen cunt, stealing the orgasms right out of her body.
Of course he could place her on her knees and pound against her until they both released
the tension from the night. But that wasn’t what he wanted from Chloe. He wanted her
soul.

With her heated eyes watching him, he sealed his mouth over hers, giving her a kiss
that spoke of his intention. Slowly, sensually, he used his lips to adore her. He
drew in the scents swirling around him, a mix of her arousal and the hints of vanilla.
She spread her legs wider while he settled between her thighs.

Captivated by her soft moans, he began rubbing his dick over her hard clit, shifting
back and forth until her breath grew raspy. He never stopped kissing her; his hips
ground her into the mattress as her hard nipples pressed against his chest.

Only when she began squirming beneath him did he release her mouth and slide his lips
down to the warm flesh of her neck. His cock throbbed with the need to be buried inside
her; he wanted to mark her tonight, to make her remember this moment forever. These
minutes together weren’t about orgasms or making sex intense. They were about a journey
two people took to become closer. They were about feeling each other in a way no one
else could feel them. About going to a place they hadn’t gone before.

He sucked her earlobe into his mouth. “Are you on the pill?”

“IUD.” She gasped, arching her hips up and rubbing her hot sex against his cock.

He groaned as her slick heat begged him to take her. He shifted his hips, placing
the tip of his bare cock against her soaked pussy. Moving back and forth, he pushed
the tip inside her folds and then withdrew. Her hips rose in offering, pulling his
swollen cock head inside her, but he paused and asked, “I want to feel you bare, Chloe.
Is that all right?”

“Yes.” She leaned up to kiss his neck, swirling her tongue over his pulse point. Her
hips rose higher, begging him to take her. “I need you. Please.”

His eyes shut as he thrust forward, feeling the warmth only she could offer him.
So tight. So wet. So mine.

Perfection had nothing on this.

Chloe arched off the bed as far as she could with Sawyer’s heavy weight covering her.
Bare skin against bare skin made her reach for more pleasure. Every shift of his hips
sent her skyrocketing. Each kiss brought a sensation so beautiful she never wanted
to return from its high.

Before, Sawyer had fucked her. Now he brought their souls together, and Chloe nearly
wept at the beauty of it. His mouth never left hers, not once. Somehow that simple
move spoke to Chloe’s heart. Tonight he didn’t devour her. He took her to a place
where passion wasn’t about hard fucking. He brought them to an emotional level she’d
never reached before.

God, how protected and adored she felt.

Tingling from the tips of her fingers to her toes, she trailed her hands over hot
damp flesh, exploring all his flexing muscles. He wanted her. Lusted for her. And
that made her feel special. Desired.

She opened her eyes to see him practically dancing on her sensually with his rhythmic
thrusts, his head lifted. She cupped his cheeks as his mouth stayed right there by
hers. His labored breaths brushed across her skin, and she inhaled each one, embracing
his citrusy aroma, meeting him thrust for thrust. Lost in his shadowy eyes, she saw
something there she’d never seen before. Vulnerability. Hunger. An expression so intense
she knew she’d never forget this moment.

He bared his soul to let her in, and she drowned in him.

Nothing lay between them now. All of what he felt she experienced in each slow stroke
and in the way he watched her from under hooded eyelids. Appreciation. Fevered passion.
Pure respect. Chloe tumbled in all he gave her now, mirroring the emotions he released
on her body. Her heart reached for his, and he encased it, weaving himself around
her in his safety.

Her toes clenched and pleasure washed across her as he shifted, moving in and out
faster. She angled her hips, needing more, as he shoved his hand beneath her bottom,
lifting her to him.

“Deeper?” he murmured.

“Yes.” She gripped his forearms, digging her nails into him. “God, yes!”

His masculine groans sent a shiver down her spine as he began pumping into her. Undeniably
turned on, she scraped her nails along his back before sliding them down to his ass,
gripping the firm muscle there, begging him to thrust harder.

Skin against skin, every thrust felt better than the one before it. Her moans became
a single sound of pleasure as pressure built in her womb. His thick cock slid in and
out, moving so fast through the silkiness of her arousal.

The musky scent of sex rushed through her nostrils as he returned his mouth to hers.
Lost in his kiss, Chloe knew nothing but the feel of his hard body moving inside and
against hers. The strength he possessed, the confidence, and his hard planes against
her soft curves—all of it was perfection.

She gripped his tight ass, not allowing him to move away, keeping him nice and close.
Beneath her hands, his muscles tensed and a low groan slipped from his lips. She watched
his eyes widen and felt his cock growing inside her. Without any sense of warning,
almost as if her body had twined with his, his pleasure brought hers. His hard cock,
quick and urgent, demanded she soar over the edge with him. The sensation hit her
so fast and with such intensity that she couldn’t refuse even if she wanted to.

In the whirlwind of satisfaction, she soon only knew the weight of his exhausted body
against hers and the sound of his rough breathing in her ear. They lay like that for
many minutes until a low groan slipped from Sawyer’s mouth as he lifted himself off
her. She reached up and cupped his cheeks, feeling the damp sweat gathered on his
face.

Without a word, he kissed her—a sweet kiss that ended the most sexually satisfying
experience of her life. Not because of its intensity, but because Chloe now understood
what it meant to have sex with someone where passion lived.

When he broke away, she mourned both his mouth and his cock as he withdrew from her.
He grunted, sliding onto his side. As she turned to face him, a welcome wet stickiness
coated her inner thighs. Even if his body was no longer inside hers, he still remained
in her, and she liked that.

A comfortable silence settled between them as Sawyer searched her eyes. At last he
stroked her cheek. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

She smiled at him. “I’m thinking that I’m really glad I decided to stop thinking with
my head and followed my heart.”

His eyes softened, becoming even gentler. “Because it led you to me?”

She leaned into his touch, loving how a tough guy possessed such tender hands. “Because
it led me to you.” This never would’ve happened with Sawyer if she hadn’t just gone
for it. Pride filled her. She’d taken a dive into the unknown and had come out better
for it. “So…you’ve shown me what it’s like to fuck and what it’s like to make love
with mind-blowing passion. Got anything else to show me?”

His chuckle sent warmth in her veins. “Don’t dare me, Chloe. You might not like what
I’d do to you.”

“Ooh.” She moved closer to him, wiggling a little bit. “That sounds like an invitation.”

He grabbed her leg, hooking it over his hip before smacking her bottom. “Who says
I need an invitation?”

The glint in his eye declared he meant what he said. “Well, what
would
you do to me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He kissed her nose.

Narrowing her eyes at the playfulness in his, she grumbled, “Yes, I would, and that’s
why I’m asking.”

His sly grin was his only response.

She pressed her lips together, thinking this conversation needed to happen. Besides,
some of the kink
did
interest her. Sawyer had taken her to places she’d never gone before. Where else
could he take her?

While she regarded him, he remained silent, simply watching her with amusement and
running his finger along her hip. Eventually Chloe realized he wasn’t drawing a random
design on her skin. She concentrated on his fingers.

He chuckled. “Your brows are drawn together and you’re nibbling your lip. You’re wondering
what I’m writing, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “What word is that?”

“Sometime I’ll tell you.” He grinned.

She lifted her head off the pillow to gaze at him. “But not now?”

“No, Chloe.” He gathered her in his arms. When he murmured “Not now” into her neck,
she cared more about the warmth of his body than the single word on his mind.

One week later, sitting atop a wooden stool in the sports bar Mickey’s, Sawyer sipped
the crisp beer, scanning the faces of the Club Sin Masters around him. Travis was
in jail and Chloe and Ashlyn weren’t in danger any longer, but still, strain threaded
through Sawyer.

Chloe had gone back to work today after taking the week off. During that time she
and Sawyer had taken a few day trips. One to the Grand Canyon. Another to a lake resort.
He had a shift tomorrow morning and looked forward to returning to work. Life should’ve
felt like it was getting back to normal. Yet it didn’t. Everything seemed different.
He felt different. Which seemed odd to him, considering he was now surrounded by all
of his closest friends, the Club Sin Masters. These men had been a solid presence
in his life for at least five years, some of them even longer; he should only feel
comfort around them.

So then why didn’t he?

Taking in the busy atmosphere of the pub, he gulped down his beer, feeling the cool
liquid sliding down his throat. The football game played on the monitors. Loud laughter
and chatter spun around him. Sawyer stayed lost in his head. Chloe had texted him
earlier, telling him that Kenzie had invited her out tonight. Sawyer had suspicions
about that. Now he looked up to address the men around him. “Whose idea was it to
have the girls contact Chloe?”

Porter smiled from behind his beer. “Mine, of course.”

Sawyer spun his beer bottle. “What was your intention?”

Kyler answered for him. “Our intention was to introduce our girls to yours.”

Sawyer smiled in gratitude. He liked that part of it. “Well, thank you. I’m sure she
appreciates having a girls’ night out.”

“As far as I’m aware, they’re just at Kenzie’s apartment,” said Porter. “Girls’ night
in, I heard.” Surprise fluttered across his face when he saw Sawyer’s expression.
“Did you not know that?”

Chloe hadn’t told him the exact details of tonight, only that Kenzie had invited her.
“No, she never said exactly what they’d be doing.”

Dmitri’s eyes widened. “She didn’t tell you what they were doing?”

Sawyer shook his head, laughing to himself over the shock in their faces. “Nope.”

“Doesn’t that upset you?” asked Aidan.

Sawyer thought perhaps it should. Yet at the same time it almost freed him that she
did the exact opposite of what a submissive would do. She didn’t feel it necessary
to tell him all the details, as would be expected if he were dating a submissive.
She’d drawn a line, and he rather liked it—the line would keep him well aware of when
he should act Dominant and when he should not. “Nope, not upset at all.”

Kyler snorted. “That’s because she’s knocked you on your ass.”

Sawyer shrugged, not denying it.

“Tell us, how is Chloe doing after her ordeal?” asked Dmitri in a more serious voice.

Before Sawyer could reply, two waitresses brought over trays of chicken wings and
burgers. They handed out the meals and took more drink orders, then scurried off.
Sawyer picked up a hot wing. “She’s a trouper, that girl.”

“I still can’t believe that happened to her,” Kyler said before taking a bite of his
burger. “She’s brave.”

“She is that.” Sawyer wiped his mouth with his napkin. “She had a good cry, got it
out, and picked herself right back up again.”

Porter chewed on a wing. “She’s always been that way. It’s why she’s so good at her
job. Nothing fazes her. She accepts what’s happening around her as something she can’t
control and moves on.”

Sawyer smiled. “She is special.” Which reminded him that he hadn’t asked his friends
here tonight just to shoot the shit. He’d been away from Club Sin since Chloe’s abduction,
only wanting to be with her, and he needed to answer for that. He couldn’t stay in
this limbo any longer. “Which brings me to the reason I asked you all here.” All eyes
turned to him. He drew in a deep breath, steadying himself for what he needed to do
next. “Something’s gotta give.”

Kyler frowned behind his burger. “With what?”

“When Chloe was in danger”—Sawyer pushed away his plate for now, his appetite gone—“it
made me realize things. Things that I can’t ignore any longer if I want to move forward.”
He read concern on all the faces around him. “Every time the BDSM lifestyle comes
up with Chloe, something goes to shit. First it was when she went to Chains and became
upset because she thought she couldn’t be what I needed. Then I went to talk to Porter,
and Travis abducted her. That’s telling me I can’t have both lives.” He paused, and
suddenly all the tension he’d been feeling left him as he said, “I pick her.”

Aidan lowered his beer bottle to the table with a clunk. “What do you mean, you pick
her?”

Voice tight, Dmitri interjected, “You want to leave Club Sin?”

Sawyer experienced a pinch of disappointment, knowing he was letting the others down.
But that he could handle better than the tension he’d been feeling around Chloe. “I
think it’s time for that, yes.”

“Fuck.” Miles straightened on his stool, ignoring the food on his plate. “This is
not
what I expected to hear tonight.”

There was an awkward pause among the men, while all around them the noises of the
busy pub continued. Finally Dmitri asked, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Sawyer knew the implication of that question. His decision would be final. If he walked
away from Club Sin, he couldn’t go back. It would leave the members with a bad taste.
They needed stability and strength, not Masters coming in and out of their lives.

With no indecision in his mind, he nodded. “Chloe is not made for the lifestyle in
the sense that we have lived it. It’s different with her.” He spotted both apprehension
and sadness in the expressions around him. “I want to see where this takes us. And
to do that, I can’t have the responsibility of being a Master at Club Sin. I need
to focus on her. I can’t be divided between two separate worlds.”

Dmitri gave his friend a soft smile. “I hope you know that this changes nothing. That
tattoo made you one of us. That won’t change because you are out of the dungeon.”

“Thank you.” Sawyer exhaled a relieved breath, glancing at his tattoo. What once meant
so much to him now would become something like his military life: a life that he had
once lived, but which he’d given up for something better.

Kyler picked up his burger again. “Besides, it gives us an excuse to get together
outside of the club.”

The other men around Sawyer nodded.

Porter grinned. “This is good. You’re doing right by her.”

“Is that the big brother giving his approval?” Sawyer mused.

Porter shrugged. “Chloe deserves the world, and I’m glad you’re giving it to her.”

Some decisions were tough, Sawyer realized, but this one wasn’t. “She deserves me
at my best. And this is how I’ll give it to her.”

“Wine. It’s a girls’ night must.”

Chloe sat in the small living room above the bookstore and glanced up from her spot
on the couch, finding Presley offering her a glass. “Thank you. It sure is!” She accepted
the glass, and Presley dropped down next to her. The apartment had knickknacks everywhere.
Kenzie had a tiny, cute apartment, but Chloe knew that Porter would never live here.
He liked open spaces, or so he’d told her once.

She sipped the dry wine. Ella and Cora were on the love seat, and Kenzie had taken
the recliner in the corner of the room near the bay window. It’d been so long since
Chloe’d had a girls’ night, and giddiness coursed through her. Before coming here,
she’d tried on three outfits, finally opting for jeans and a simple blouse. Which
made her glad, because the other girls were all dressed down, too. And these women
certainly knew how to look sexy. She took another sip of her wine, noticing that Cora
held a glass of juice. “Not drinking tonight?”

“Well, it’s not a good idea.” Cora smiled. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh,” Chloe said in surprise, spotting the huge smiles on every face. “That’s amazing.
Congratulations!”

“Thanks.” Cora ran a hand low across her stomach. “I’m only a few weeks. I know you’re
not supposed to say anything until after the first trimester, but hell, I couldn’t
keep this a secret.” She shrugged. “Besides, I have the worst morning sickness ever,
so I thought it would be pretty obvious.”

“I hear morning sickness is the worst,” Chloe replied. “But a baby is great news.”
Babies? God, she couldn’t even imagine that for herself right now. Her life wasn’t
stable enough for a child, but she did have dreams of becoming a mother one day. First
she needed a husband, though. And she smiled at the thought that maybe she’d already
found him.

Ella plopped her feet on the coffee table, holding her wineglass on her lap. “Look
at us. We’re all turning into a bunch of housewives.”

Kenzie laughed. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m looking forward to it. And
how weird is
that
coming from my mouth?”

Confused by her statement, Chloe glanced to Kenzie’s hand, noticing a diamond ring.
“Oh my God, did Porter propose?”

Kenzie nodded. “He did. A week ago.”

“I didn’t know!” Of course, she hadn’t seen Porter since she’d been abducted. Both
Porter and Sawyer had thought she deserved a week off, and she’d happily agreed, pretty
much abandoning her phone for the entire week. Now she wished she’d called to check
in with Porter.

“Don’t worry, only our tight circle knows right now,” Kenzie announced. “But to be
honest, I think you had a hand in his proposal.”

“Me?” Chloe exclaimed. “How?”

Kenzie pulled her legs underneath her. “When we heard what happened to you with that
crazy fucker, we were here at home. After Porter got off the phone with Kyler, he
went into the bedroom and came back out with the ring. He told me he was tired of
holding on to the ring and waiting for the right time. That he realized life was damn
short and he needed to do what he’d been thinking of for a long time. It was pretty
sweet. And I never thought I’d be one to love the gushy romance stuff.” She glanced
down at the princess-cut diamond, sparkling in the light. “We were going to call you,
but Porter thought you and Sawyer needed time alone.”

“You should have called!” Chloe placed her glass on the table and rose from her seat,
moving to Kenzie. “I’m so happy for the both of you.” Even if she didn’t know Kenzie
all that well yet, she offered a hug. “Congratulations all around, then.”

As she released Kenzie, Chloe glanced at Presley, seeing her downcast gaze. Chloe
had the feeling that while Presley was mostly happy, sadness lived in her, too. And
Chloe supposed she could understand—Presley didn’t have a ring on her finger.

Thinking it not her place to comfort Presley, since she didn’t know her, she returned
to her seat as Ella asked, “How are things going with Sawyer? You guys make a cute
couple.”

“Things are going great.” She took another sip. “And they’re also confusing.”

Cora frowned. “Confusing how?”

Chloe nibbled her lip, wondering how much to say. Everyone here belonged to the sex
club. They were all kinky and understood Sawyer better than she did in that way. “I’m
just not sure…”

“You’re like us?” Kenzie offered.

Chloe smiled. “Something like that.”

“But isn’t that okay now?” Presley asked.

Chloe glanced from face to face, taking in their expressions. “What do you mean?”

The girls shared a perplexed look before Kenzie said, “Sawyer left our club for you.”

“He
what
?” Chloe sputtered.

Cora nodded. “Aidan called me a bit ago and said that Sawyer told them he wouldn’t
be attending the club anymore.”

“I see.” Chloe glanced at the wineglass in her hands, feeling sadness swell inside
her. “I didn’t know he was planning to do that.”

“Look, don’t let that upset you,” Cora said, drawing Chloe’s gaze. “It shouldn’t.
Sawyer is happy with you. He’s found something better in you than what he gets in
the club. Believe me, it’s a decision he wouldn’t have taken lightly.”

“Yeah, but you’re all his friends,” Chloe retorted, a thick lump in her throat. “He’s
leaving all his friends for me. I don’t like that.”

“So what?” Kenzie quipped in her sassy way. “We were his friends before and we’ll
still be his friends. Not much will change except he won’t be at the club. We still
do a lot of things outside of the club. And maybe this will make us do even more.”

While that made sense, Chloe didn’t like that he was walking away from a life that
gave him stability. In fact, this was exactly what she hadn’t wanted. In the club,
she didn’t know if she could be what he needed. Out of it, she was even more unsure.

Presley reached over, taking Chloe’s hand. “Why does that upset you so much? I would
think this would be good news.”

“I mean, it’s sweet of him.” Chloe squeezed Presley’s hand before releasing it. She
really appreciated these women and their openness. Yet somehow the kindness they showed
only made her feel shittier. “To put me first like this should be what I want, but—”

“Let me stop you there,” Kenzie said. “A Dom would never, and I mean
never
, do something that he didn’t think was in the best interests of both his…um, girlfriend
and himself. Sawyer knows what he’s doing. So stop looking like the world has come
to an end.”

Chloe laughed it off, not wanting to be a downer on their girls’ night. She wanted
the women to know how fun she could be and how much she appreciated them including
her. “Okay. You’re right. I’m sure he’ll tell me about it later.”

Yet as the girls shifted topics and began chatting among themselves about Cora’s pregnancy
and Kenzie’s engagement, her thoughts returned to the fact that she’d changed Sawyer.
He had left his club because of
her
, because she couldn’t see herself in that lifestyle.

Was that fair?

He was kinky. He liked being in control. She couldn’t help but ask herself,
Why is he so willing to change for me, but I can’t change for him?