Commando (11 page)

His words cut through Shah, and she slowly stood. Jake cared for her. His gray eyes were turbulent with feeling, and she heard the undisguised emotion in his voice. “Don’t,” she pleaded. “Don’t care about me, Jake. It’s no good. I’m not a good bet. Don’t you understand?”

Jake rose, towering over her. How beautiful Shah looked with her long, loose hair flowing across her shoulders like an ebony cape. Her mouth was soft and parted, and her lovely golden eyes were filled with pain. He reached out, just barely grazing her cheek. “I don’t have a choice,” he rasped. “I don’t want a choice, Shah.”

She stood there looking up at him, stunned by his low, trembling admission. She looked around helplessly, then took a step away from his presence. “I—No, Jake. This isn’t good—”

“That’s what your head is telling you. What does your heart say, Shah?”

Stunned by Jake’s insight, Shah felt nakedly vulnerable as never before. How could he read her true thoughts so easily? Panicking, she cried out softly, “It doesn’t matter how I feel! Just go home, Jake! Go home to America and leave me here! This isn’t your battle, it’s mine!”

The tears in her eyes tore at him. Shah was frightened of him—of the connection he was offering her. Jake didn’t have time to analyze why he’d said what he’d said. He wanted to take back the words, but it was too late. Shah wasn’t ready to hear the depth of his feelings. Her fear regarding men was well-founded, and he was a man. It was that simple—and that complex.

“I’m not leaving you out here alone,” he told her grimly.

“Because my father paid you?”

“Your father doesn’t have a thing to do with this now, and you know it!”

Angry and frightened, Shah tensed. “I’m a lousy risk, Jake. So just—”

“You’re a risk I want to take,” he snapped. “And that’s my decision, Shah.” He jabbed a finger at her and instantly regretted the action. “You’re stuck with me. Don’t be bullheaded about this. Let’s go to the mission first and report the incident.”

“No,” Shah said firmly. “No. Hernandez thinks he’s killed us. Now he’ll bring out those chain saws and let his men use them because he thinks we’re not around to catch him on tape.” She knelt again by her knapsack and pulled the last of the plastic away so that she could thoroughly examine the video equipment.

With a growl, Jake leaned down and gripped her by the shoulder. He used very little real strength, because of her fear of violence from men. “Then we’ll do this together,” he rasped.

Jake’s hand was like a hot, searing iron against her flesh. Shah looked up, lost in the thundercloud blackness of his eyes, surrounded by his emotions.
Together.
Tears pricked her eyes, and she lowered her lashes. “You don’t deserve this, Jake,” she said, her voice wavering. “You’re a good man. One of the best I’ve ever met. Please, just go home.”

“No way, Shah,” he whispered as he straightened. Jake had seen her tears and understood them. A part of her wanted him to stay; he’d seen it mirrored in her topaz eyes. Another part of her was so frightened of him and her feelings for him that she would rather risk her neck alone against Hernandez than have him around. Jake felt helpless and angry. But he was damned if he was going to abandon Shah. She’d been betrayed by men too many times before and for once he was going to show her that a man could be counted on to stick it out with her—even under threat of death.

“L
ook!” Shah whispered excitedly. “There’s Hernandez!” Hidden deep in the shoulder-high bushes, she glanced over as Jake quietly crept up beside her. To her surprise, trekking through the rain forest hadn’t been as bad as she’d thought. There was comparatively little underbrush, because smaller plants had difficulty surviving in the shade of the triple canopy of the trees overhead.

Shah pointed toward an area a quarter-mile down the slight hill they were kneeling on. Jake nodded but said nothing as he intently studied the situation. Shah could see three bulldozers and at least forty workers. Already the tall and the medium-sized trees had been taken down, leaving only the shortest trees still to fall to the buzzing chain saws wielded by the workers. The hillside looked stripped, and soon would be bare. Shah wondered if any of them realized that with the root system no longer holding the soil the earth would flow into the Amazon when the summertime rainy season began. Losing the foot-and-a-half layer of topsoil that had accumulated in the past million years would have dire consequences. Once upon a time, in a prehistoric era, the Amazon Basin had been a vast desert wasteland. Now, only that precious layer of decayed leaves and trees on top of the sand base created the fragile barrier between life and death. If the destruction of the rain forest was allowed to continue unabated, the Amazon Basin would once again be a desert, incapable of sustaining life.

Without thinking, Shah gripped Jake’s arm. “Chain saws!” The air rang with their sound; at least thirty of the men were using them against the last of the standing trees.

Looking around, Jake realized that daylight was slipping away from them. They had hiked at least three miles to the northeast, and there was no doubt that they were now on Hernandez’s parcel of land.

“Yeah, but look,” he growled, pointing out three men walking along the periphery of the work detail. All three were carrying submachine guns.

With a nod, Shah took off her knapsack, which contained the camcorder. “I promise we’ll get the photos and get out, Jake. I don’t want to get shot at again any more than you do.” She kept her voice low so that they wouldn’t be detected by the guards.

Edgy, Jake said nothing, but helped Shah prepare the camcorder for recording Hernandez and his men illegally using chain saws. Sweat ran down his face, and he wiped it away with the back of his arm. Shah seemed impervious to the steamy heat, but then, Jake reminded himself sourly, she had already become accustomed to the demands of the tropics.

“Ready?” he asked.

With a nod, Shah slowly stood, the camcorder balanced on her left shoulder. She moved to a nearby araba tree whose five-foot-tall roots resembled flying buttresses. Each root was less than an inch thick at the top, with a wedge shape that thickened to sometimes two to three feet in width as it breached the ground. Shah hid herself behind one of the dark brownish-gray barriers, just her head and the video camera visible above it. Leaning against the root’s stability, Shah began to tape, her heart pounding a steady, heavy beat of triumph.

Jake remained alert, scanning the area for any sign of trouble as Shah continued to shoot the necessary footage. He tried to ignore the carnage that Hernandez’s men were wreaking below them. He wondered what animal species were being displaced and, worse, what potentially life-saving medicinal plants were being destroyed before they could ever be discovered.

The sunlight was almost gone now, brief beams cutting through the rain forest only occasionally. In another two hours it would be dark, and Jake wanted to be a long way from this particular area. Detection by Hernandez’s guards was still a very real possibility.

After forty minutes of taping the timber cutting operation, Shah knelt down behind the buttress root and shut off the camcorder. Jake joined her and took the videotape she proffered. Slipping it into an airtight plastic bag, he made sure the tape was well protected, hidden deep within his knapsack.

“We’ve gotta hightail it out of here,” he muttered near her ear. “It’s getting dark, and we’ve got to find a safe place to sleep before nightfall.”

“No argument,” Shah said, giddy with excitement, with the knowledge that she could put Hernandez behind bars with the tape. She looked up and met Jake’s darkened gaze. He’d been testy and grouchy all day, and she couldn’t blame him—this was dangerous work. “You’ve been wonderful!” she said, and spontaneously threw her arms around him and gave him a quick, hard embrace.

Surprised, Jake had no time to react—at least not the way he would have liked to. The glow in Shah’s eyes told him of her joy, and he smiled crookedly.

“Glad to see there’s a little of the child left in you,” he said teasingly as he rewrapped the camcorder in protective plastic.

Years of weight seemed to lift off Shah’s shoulders as she stared up at Jake. His smile was that of a bashful boy, and if her eyes weren’t deceiving her, there was a new ruddiness in his cheeks. “Jake, you aren’t blushing, are you?” She laughed softly with delight at her discovery.

“Hey,” he muttered, “it’s been a long time since a beautiful lady hugged me.” Jake felt the heat nettling his bearded cheeks. He was thankful that the darkness of his two-day beard probably hid the worst of the flush, but he still felt vulnerable to Shah’s observation. When had he last blushed like a teenager? Jake couldn’t even recall. His neck and shoulders still tingled where Shah had touched him. The ache to love her, to make her his, nearly overwhelmed him. But the feelings he held for her, though heated, were tender. He smiled into her dancing gold eyes, losing himself in her happiness.

The danger of their situation was still very real, and Shah was well aware that they couldn’t sit and chat. Within moments they were slipping out of the area, undetected. Their plan called for heading back to the banks of the Amazon, then simply walking along it to shorten their journey back to the mission, instead of moving inland and fighting the rain forest all the way back. The inland route would be safer, but they’d weighed that against the time factor and decided that speed was their best asset, so they’d chosen the river route.

Grateful that Jake was ahead of her, Shah made a mental note to ask him about his past sometime. He’d once referred obliquely to not being married. Why had he blushed? He was a thirty-eight-year-old man with obvious experience with women. Dividing her attention between where she was placing her feet and the sounds around her, Shah decided to ask her questions tonight, after they made camp.

To Shah’s delight, they came upon a mango tree, the fruit ripe and edible. She had already collected edible berries that had dropped to the damp jungle floor, and she knew they’d eat well once they camped. Jake remained tense, and Shah had to admit that she had no idea whether they were still on Hernandez’s land.

Again she selected a rubber tree with grotesque limbs to support them during sleep, and Jake nodded at her choice. Was he disappointed that she wouldn’t sleep in his arms tonight? Last night had been one of the best nights of sleep Shah had ever experienced. Confused, she tried not to think about it—or Jake. She watched as he moved like a shadow upstream through the rain forest while she made camp for them in the tree. The trunk rose almost ten feet straight up, and then began to spread out its twisted, gnarled limbs.

Standing on a nearby log to tie both knapsacks high in the tree, Shah looked up to see the pale pink sunset along the western horizon. The color was softened and muted by the ever-present mist, which was beginning to return in earnest now that the sun had set.

Near dark, she sensed Jake nearby from her tree perch and strained to see him. Or was it Jake? Shah wasn’t sure, and remained parallel to the trunk so that she took on the shape of the tree as camouflage.

Jake appeared silently. He looked up and raised his hand without a word.

Relieved, Shah sighed and returned his gesture. She watched as he jumped to grip the lowest-hanging limb, then moved easily up into the tree. Jake’s face had a dangerous look to it with his two-day growth of beard. His gray eyes looked darker, and more lethal, and the harsh planes of his face were emphasized. Shah smiled happily when he sat down on the limb opposite her, the tree trunk between them.

“Anything?” she asked in a whisper as she handed him a mango to eat.

“No, it’s quiet.” Jake sank his teeth into the juicy flesh of the mango. They’d lost their food pack when the canoe overturned. If not for Shah’s knowledge of the rain forest, they’d have starved today. Jake was trained to live off the land, but the rain forest had many deadly forms of plants and berries, not to mention the multitude of poisonous mushrooms that grew in the dampness of the jungle floor. Shah had learned her lessons well from the Tucanos shaman she had worked with finding the medicinal plants. Throughout the day, she’d gathered berries or nuts that had fallen from last year and lay partly hidden by the damp leaves.

They ate in silence, watching as the sunset turned a bloodred, then slowly dissolved into the swiftly approaching cloak of darkness. Shah shared the last of the berries with Jake. The night sounds of insects rose around them, and she felt a good kind of tiredness. She was still on a high from getting the video of Hernandez’s illegal operation.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Jake said. He wiped his long, strong fingers across his thighs. Shah was positively glowing with happiness, and he felt fortunate to see this side of her. He’d never realized how beautiful she really was until she’d smiled; now he’d never forget it. More than anything, he wanted to be the one to make her smile like that again.

“Oh…” Shah sighed softly, resting her head against the trunk. “I’m just so happy, Jake. I think I’m floating on air.”

He grinned. “I like seeing you happy.”

She lifted her chin and held his searching gaze. “You’ve been wonderful today, too. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Can I get that in writing?” He chuckled indulgently. He liked Shah’s thoughtfulness and ability to share. She made him feel a part of her team effort. Yes, she was a good leader.

Shah reached out and slapped his hand lightly. “Jake, you’re such a tease!”

He relaxed a little, wanting badly to devote all his attention to Shah. Jake estimated it would take roughly a day and a half, maybe two days, of walking to reach the mission. He desperately wanted this time alone with Shah. There was a natural, powerful intimacy that sprang up between them, and he wanted more of these moments with her. He caught Shah’s hand in midair and held it for just a moment. The surprise in her eyes wasn’t fueled by fear, he realized, but by desire. Hope beat strongly in his chest. Was it a desire for him?

Shah’s hand tingled where Jake had touched it. “Jake?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you tired?”

“Yeah. You?”

“No, not really. I guess I’m too excited.”

Jake felt exhaustion pulling at him. Tonight he’d have to sleep in spurts if he was going to maintain security around them. “Do you always get like this?”

“What?”

“Excited when you get what you want?”

Her smile was large. “Yes.” The seconds fled by, the silence lengthening. Shah sobered a bit. “Jake, may I ask you a personal question?”

Jake suddenly grew very alert, the exhaustion torn from him. He’d hoped beyond hope that Shah would reach out and establish a more personal relationship with him. Maybe this was his opportunity. “Sure,” he mumbled, trying not to sound too eager.

Shah sat nervously for a long moment and stared down at her clasped hands in her lap. Torn, she finally offered, “I have a terrible case of curiosity. It always gets me in trouble. If you think I’m getting too personal—”

“I’m an open book to you,” Jake said, and he meant it.

Shah glanced over at his shadowy features. “I don’t see how you can be so vulnerable. It scares me to open up.”

“That’s because you’ve been hurt every time you did it,” Jake offered gently.

“I guess…” Shah said. Then she made an exasperated sound. “You’re so trusting and open, Jake. I’ve never met a man like you. Sometimes I feel you’re from another planet.”

Chuckling, Jake said, “Believe me, I’m no alien. I’m very male. You just haven’t run into my bad side yet.”

“I think you’re bluffing, Jake. Somewhere along the line, you learned that manipulation and control of a woman wasn’t right. I guess that’s what I wanted to know. You said you aren’t married now. Are you divorced?”

Of all the questions Shah could have asked, this was the most unexpected. He felt his gut tighten, as if someone had sucker-punched him. For a moment, it was hard for him to breathe, much less talk.

Shah watched Jake wrestle with a multitude of emotions plainly etched on his grim features. She saw the torture appear in his eyes, and, too late, she realized that she had stepped into a very painful topic for him. “Jake, I—”

“No,” he said, his voice raw, “I’ll tell you, Shah.” He swallowed back a lump that threatened to shut off his breathing. “I want to tell you.”

The words were charged with emotion, and Shah felt uneasy. Unconsciously she reached over and touched the hand that he’d clenched into a fist against his powerful thigh. “I’m sorry….”

Jake turned his hand and gripped her long, slender fingers. How small Shah’s hand was in comparison to his. He expected her to pull out of his grasp, but, to his surprise, she didn’t. He was heartened by that. Jake needed Shah’s compassion and understanding in that moment in order to answer her question honestly. He knew what it had cost Shah to make this overture to him, and he owed it to her to be just as brave.

“Four years ago,” he croaked, “I was married. But I have to go back to the beginning, I guess. I went into the Marine Corps when I was eighteen. I was a real hell-raiser then, footloose and fancy-free. I never wanted to be married or tied down.” Jake studied Shah’s hand, barely able to see it in the darkness. Soon the moon would rise and he’d be able to see her better. Still, the darkness gave him the courage to go on. He didn’t want Shah to see his face as he related his past.