Commitment (84 page)

“No,”
Riley
said.
“We are
not
going to be apart while this is happening.  No way.”

“You want me to travel back and forth between the Bronx.”

“No, I want you to let me come.
But if that’s not in the cards, then I guess you’ll have to travel back and forth between the Bronx,” she said
stubbornly
.
“It’s your
call
.”

She watched his face as he processed the nature of the compromise and finally nodded.

“I’ll come up to your mother’s every night,” he said finally.

Riley
sighed.
It wasn’t the solution she preferred, but it was
something she could live with.
Not seeing him at all while they went through this ordeal separately, on the other hand, was not an option she would even begin to consider
.

g

Almost
as bad as hearing about the arrest in the first place
, was going in to the office and watching the faces of her co-workers chang
e as she walked by.
No one would meet her gaze intentionally and when they couldn’t avoid it, they smiled these sad, sympathetic smiles that clearly meant they thought
her husband was guilty of rape.
When finally she got to her office and was able to shut the door,
Riley
let out a deep breath.
She had a meeting with Greg during which she would ask for her job back, and inst
ead request a leave of absence.
And then she would clean out a few thin
gs from her desk and head home.
Shawn was meeting with Doug and they planned to meet back at home where they would pack a few things and make the drive up to Lorna’s. 

“
Riley
?”

She looked up.
Peter had cracked open her door and stuck his
head in.
If anyone would be ballsy enough to intrude at a time like this, it was him.

“Hey,” she gave him a wan smile.

That was all the encouragement he needed to enter the offic
e and shut the door behind him.
He leaned back as though barricading it against other unwelcome guests and shook his head slowly from side to side.

“Oh. My. God.
What the hell,
Riley
?”

“Peter
, please
don’t start,” she
said wearily.
“It’s awful, te
rrible, humiliating, and scary.
All of those things.
Let’s not belabor it.”

“I wouldn’t think of pu
tting you through it,” he said.
“But how are you holding up?”

“As well as can be expected, I guess.”

“You were on Page
Six,” Peter said almost sadly.
But there was a gleeful voyeuristic undertone to his voice
as well
that did not go unnoticed.

“Again?”
Riley
said dryly.

“Oh yes, I forgot about the
fracas
in the
Hamptons,”
Peter said.
“My god, you’re quite the notorious one these days.”

“Peter, was there something . . ?”

“Yes, believe it or not.
I saw Brian.
He wanted me to
tell
you to call him if you w
anted to talk.
He said he thought it was probably not the best idea in
the world for him to call you.
Unless you tell me you want him to call.”

“I can
’t think about Brian right now.
I have to think about what Greg’s about to say to me in the meeting we’re having in . . .”
Riley
glanced at the time.
“In fifteen minutes.”

“Well I’d heard you quit.”

“I did.
Then Shawn made me call and ask for this meeting to get my job back and t
ake a leave of absence instead.
So here I am.”

“And how’s
he
doing?”

“How do you think?
He’s been accused of one of the worst things a man can be accused of.”

“Of course.
But he d
id . . . sleep with her, right?
That’s
what they’re saying on
. .
.”

“How do you expec
t me to respond to that, Peter?
I mean, it’s public information at this point, but still about my private life, so what exactly do you expect me to say?”

“
Riley
,” he came toward her, sitting on the edge of her
desk and reaching for her hand.
“It’s me. We’re friends.
I’m on
your
side, remember?”

She sighed. It was becoming more and more difficult to discern who was on her side.

“Look, I
understand people’s curiosity.
I really do. But I know you’ll understand if I just don’t want to talk about it.”

Peter blinked, with what looked a little like
annoyance
.
“Sure.
Okay.
Well, I passed on the message I was given, so let me leave you to
get ready
for your meeting.
Good luck with that.”

When he was gone, she
folded
her
arms on the desk and rested her head
on
them
,
trying
to focus
on what she would say to Greg.
It would be
difficult looking in his eyes and seeing the disappoint
ment that was sure to be there.
Whatever she’d said about him
in the past
, she knew he was invested in her success and even
saw
her as a protégé o
f sorts.
So much for that now.
She couldn’t blame him,
o
r anyone else for that matter,
for thinking that she was just another deluded woman sticking with a man who didn
’t deserve it.
That was certainly the way it had to look from the outside. 

She cringed to
think about the judgment she’
d heaped on women in
similar situations in the past—
wives of professional athletes and other entertainers who somehow had their families’ most difficult and personal tribulations plastered acros
s the front page of the paper.
Entire Sunday brunches with Tracy had been dedicated to discussi
ng how foolish such women were.
After all, their husba
nds were wealthy, they’d said.
These women could
cut their losses and start a new
life;
do anything, go anywhere.
And yet they chose to st
ay in an impossible situation.
Had they no
pride
?
No sense of self?
And yet, here she was doing exactly the same thing
,
telling herself, as they no doubt had,
that her situation
, her husband
was completely different.

She was just short of wallowi
ng when her door opened again.
Riley
looked up, prepared to
deal with
the second intruder.
It was Dawn, and the look on her face was so genuinely concerned that
Riley
could not bri
ng herself to ask her to leave.
Without a word Dawn came around they desk and pulled
Riley
up into a warm hug.
Even as she tried to pull away, Dawn held her tight for a moment more. Finally, she held her at arms
’
length and looked her square in the face.

“It doe
sn’t seem
like it right now,” Dawn said.
“But you’
re going to be alright.
You are a powerful, beautiful, intelligent woman and you know
exactly
who you are.
That’s more than enough to get you through this.”

The words
released
something inside her and
Riley
fell completely apart. T
hen Dawn was hugging her again, holding her close
so
that her sobs were
just muffled enough that
no one
outside the room
would hear.
She let her cry until
finally
Riley
pulled back and reached for tissues on her desk.

“You did that
on purpose,” she said jokingly.
“You came in here expressly to make me cry.”

Dawn shrugged.
“Everyone can use a good cry once in awhile.”

“I feel like I’ve cried more in the last few months than in the rest of my entire life,”
Riley
said wiping her
eyes
.

Once the words were out, she realized what it h
ad to have sounded like to Dawn—
like she was referring to the time since she’d married Shawn.

“What can I
do to help?” Dawn asked.
“Just ask.”

That was what one of the things
Riley
had
always liked about her. S
he was
direct, honest and forthright.
No hemming and hawing.

“Thank you for asking.
But I have this meeting with Greg and unless you’re up for impersonating me, I think there probably isn’t anything you or anyone else can do
at the moment
.”

“I
t doesn’t have to be right now.
If you think of anythi
ng, please call me,” Dawn said.
She squeezed
Riley
’s shoulder firmly before leaving her alone once again.

Greg was waiting
b
ehind the huge oak desk
in his office
that overlooked Chambers Street.
There was a distressed leather sofa and equally worn coffee table near the door, shad
owed by ceiling-high bookcases.
On the floor was an impressive antique Persian rug that Greg had himself picked out in bazaars in Morocco, and the walls were painted a warm
, dark honey. 

“Sit,” he said indicating the sofa when
Riley
walked in.

She did as he asked and was surprised when he came from behind his desk to join her.

They
sat about two feet apart.
Greg’s eyes were concerned, his brow furrowed.

“I don’t accept your resignation,” he said simply.

Riley
’s
shoulders heaved.
“Thank you.
That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Yes. I suspected as much.”

"
I talked
to my . . . family,” she said.
“An
d they thought I was too hasty.
And afte
r thinking about it, I agreed.
I appreciate you having me back.”

“As far as I’m concerned, you never left,” Greg said, giving her a half-smile.

“Well, that’s where
it becomes a little difficult.
I’d like to request a leave of absence
instead
, if that’s at all possible.”

“Would twelve weeks suffice?”

Riley
’s eyes widened in disbelief.
She’d been thinking half that time would be the absolute limit. 

“Thank you,” she said.
“That would be wonderful.”

“Then consider it done.”

“My seniority,” she said carefully.

“We’ll have to hold that question
until you return, I’m afraid.
I can’t make any
promises
, but I certainly have no plans to give your column to another writer.”

Riley
nodde
d.
“That’s good enough for me.
Thank you.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me,
Riley
.
You’ve been a valued part of our team here for a long time and when life takes an unfortunate turn, I like to think we remain mindful of that value, and keep the home fires burning as it were.
”

Riley
nodded, biting in her lower lip and willing herself not to
fall apart
yet again.