Commitment (93 page)

“Because it
is
stupid.
No matter how it gets said.”

“Fine,” she turned her back to him.

After a momen
t, Shawn touched her should
er.
“Tell me what you mean then.”

“What I mean,” she said without turning to face him. “What I mean is that I thought we’d finally settled that either of us walking out on this
relationship was off the table.
I thought we had that understanding, that’s all.”

Shawn said nothing.

He’d gotten what he most wanted w
hen he might be least in a position
to benefit from it. 

“So? Are you in this thing or not?” Riley insisted.

Shawn pulled her clo
ser and put his arms about her. “Yeah,” he said.
“I’m in.”

g

They were alone in the house since Lorna had left for her afternoon class and Tiny had been relieved the previous morning after Shawn had finally acknowledged that there was probably no real security threat. He was content just so long as he was with her, or she could be
reached easily by cell phone.

Riley surprised herself by beginning
to
pin
e for their place in the city.
She missed her bed
there and Manhattan in general.
It had been great spending the last five weeks with Lorna, but now she wanted her own s
pace back and her old routines.
The initial interest in Shawn’s case had waned in a degree proportionate to the flow of new information and even MTV failed to mention it at al
l in most of their news briefs.
Life had evolved into a new normal that included waking up late, taking walks in town to have breakfast at the Waffle House, or playing pool and grabbing dinner at the Spotted Pig. 

Shawn had been called back before the grand jury twice more, as had several o
ther people, including Brendan.
Riley hadn’t been subpoenaed which she found frustrating,
and Shawn viewed as a relief.
The process plodded along at such a snail’s pace that it would have been exhausting to maintain the same level of fear and trepidati
on she’d had at the beginning.

Most days now, she
barely thought about it at all.
Instead, she thought about how much calmer Shawn was, and how he spent hours reading and writing and having spirited and good-natured arguments with Lorna. She was learning new thin
gs about her husband
every day
.

In this place, far away from his fast-paced and chaotic other life, she was discovering that he had a keen mind, significant intellectual curiosity and an innate sense of what was
true and what was inauthentic.
If she thought she’d loved him before, it was only because she hadn’t conceived of a feeling as profound as the one she now had when she looked at him across the dinner table or listened with amusement when he called Lorna out on her penchant for hyperbole.

He was downstairs
now
on the phone with Doug and she was lounging in bed with a
well-worn and often read
book
.
As soon as they heard Lorna leave, they’d had noisy sex in the shower and tumbled back into bed before
Shawn
remembered
ten minutes after the appointed time
that he
had
a conference call with the legal team
.
He’d been on the phone
for about forty minutes and Riley could hear the low rumble of his voice, steady and unexcited, so it was unlikely that anyt
hing had changed significantly.
But when he returned to the bedroom, Shawn’s eyes were animated and he was buzzing with new energy.

“Mike testified yesterday,” he told her.

Riley
put the book aside and sat up.
Keisha’s cousin had been dodging the subpoena for awhile, p
robably out of family loyalty.
He alone could testify that Keisha had planned to lie to the police and prosecutors; that she’d wanted to get back at Shawn
and thought a rap
e charge was the way to do it.
But he had been flying around the country promoting his new CD, and giving a series of excuses to Chris and others who
tried to pressure
him to come back to New York and tell what he knew.

“Do we know how it went?” she asked.

“Nope.
But if he tells the truth . . .” Shawn didn’t finish the thought. 

“So what now?”

“
We wait and see,
”
Shawn sat next to her on the bed and placed a hand on her leg.

“I have
a thought
,” Riley said.

Shawn looked at her.
“What’s that?”

“Let’s go home.”

They packed
while waiting for
Lorna
to
arrive
and were surprised at the volume of clothing and personal items they had accum
ulated over the past few weeks.
Finally, Shawn lost patience and left so
me of his stuff in the closet.
They had three duffle bags on the backseat and
were
ready to go when Lorna returned from the college, carrying a sack of beignets from the campus bakery.

“It’s time we gave you your house back,” Riley told her as she started a pot of coffee.

“
I hardly even notice you’re here,” Lorna said with a wink.

“You know you’re happy to see us go,” Shawn teased her. 

“I am
not,” she said looking at him.
“But I suppose I can get used to a quiet house again.”

“You have to come see
us sometimes too,
Lorna
” Riley said.
“Promise.”

“I can’t
think
in the city,” Lorna
said.
“Twenty-four h
ours is about all I can stand.
That I can promise.”

“For Thanksgiving then,” Riley pressed.

“No, we should do that here,” Shawn said surprising them both.

Pulling away from t
he house, they were both quiet and Shawn
slid
in a CD without looking at it.
Cameron Cole’s voice boomed out of the speakers and they looked at each other at the same time, laughing out loud.

“
Uh, no
,” Riley said, shutting the player off.

The condo was still and quiet when they got in. The air smelled a little stale and there were dead flowers on
the table in the living room.
The bedroom looked as it had when they left, and there were towels on the
floor in the master bathroom.
The refrigerator was empty, Riley having asked Tracy to dispose of
its contents about a week ago.
But despite all of t
hat, it was great to be home;
almost exhilarating.

“This feels weird,” Riley said, dumping her bag on the floor in the bedroom.

“Good weird or bad weird?” Shawn asked from the bathroom.

“Good weird,” she said right away.
 

She threw herself across
the bed and inhaled the sheets, t
heir smells—
hers and Shawn’s
were
somehow still preserved even after so much time. He emerged from the bathroom and stood in the doorway regarding her with a slight smile on his face. 

“So I was thinking about meeting Brendan ov
er at Chris’ office,” he said.
“To talk about business stuff.”

“Oh.”

For some reason she’d expected that he would
hang out with her all
day, the way he had at Lorna’s.
But of
course, that wasn’t realistic.
Lorna’s house had been a refuge and this was the real world.
Within a day his calendar would be full again and they would s
ee less and less of each other.
She’d forgotten that part when she suggested they come home.

“You want to come with me?”

Riley looked up. 

“Unless you think you’ll be bored.”

“No,” she said
quickly
.
“I won’t be bored.”

It was almost five when they got to Chris’ but he didn’t look like he
was
anywhere close
to winding down his day.
He was on the phone when Shawn and Riley
were
led into his office and
motioned for them to sit on
the burgundy leather sofa that had so impressed her
on her only other visit here.
Shawn made himself at home, walking over to the bar and grabbing a beer, holding one up for R
iley before she shook her head.
Chris seemed to be doing more listening than talking on his call, and
finally cut it short,
telling the person on the other en
d that he had another meeting.
When he hung up, he came from behind his immense desk, arms extended toward Riley.

“Well, well,” he said.
“Look who’s risen from the dead.”

Riley stood and let him hug her
.
He pulled back and touched the top of her head. 

“You look good, girl
.”

“Thank you.”

“
You gave my
guy
all kinds of hel
l,” he said referring to Tiny.
“He said
you were like Houdini and shit.
Slipping away without tell
ing him and all kinds of mess.
Driving into other cars.”

“It was one time.
And that was a parking barrier,
not
another car.”

“Well, whatever it was, I think you traumatized him.” Chris had moved on to Shawn, giving him a brief hug as well before they all settled around the coffee table.

“B’s on his way.” Shawn said.
“We wanted to talk business for
a
minute.  See what’s cooking out there that I can get into.”

“Shit, there’s all kinds of things I
can get you into,” Chris said.
“Quest
ion is whether now is the time.
The DA might come down on you
harder;
the grand jurors might not like you out there acting like a rape charge is just a minor inconvenience in your high-roller lifestyle.”

“I feel you, but I’m not ta
lking about high-profile shit.
I’m talking abou
t industry-heavy events.
Just so
the la
bels know I’m still breathing.
Shit like that.”

“Well, first
things
first.
What’s up with that interview and photo spread Darnell and them was putting together.”

“I think it’
s out next month,” Riley said.
“Brendan would know.”

“How’d it go?
What’d you talk about?”

“The pictures ain’t nu
th
in’ but the truth,” Shawn said.
“But with interviews, you
never know, right?
How’d you feel about it, baby?”

“I thought it went okay.
I mean, he asked me
some
tough questions . . .”

“Like what?” Chris asked.

“Like
why I stay
.
Whether I believed Shawn when he
said he didn’t assault anyone.
He asked about the fight
in the Hamptons with Cameron.
How my mother was handling it.
Stuff like that.”

Riley could fee
l Shawn grow tense next to her.
She hadn’t discussed th
e interview with him at length.
They’d avoided it in fact.

“But he also wanted to know how we met, how Shawn proposed.  Other stuff that balanced it out, I think.”

“
And he talked to your Mom
s
, right?”

“Yeah. But only for a few minutes. It was good.
She told me it was good,” Riley said, looking at Shawn reassuringly.

Chris shrugged.
“We’ll see, right?”

“So what you got?” Shawn asked.

“Couple folks
might like you on their tracks.
If you’re interested.”

“Who we talkin’ ‘bout?”