Authors: Ann Patchett
to Mike Glasscock
ALSO BY ANN PATCHETT
This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage
State of Wonder
Truth & Beauty
The Magician's Assistant
The Patron Saint of Liars
The christening party took a turn when Albert Cousins arrived with gin. Fix was smiling when he opened the door and he kept smiling as he struggled to make the connection: it was Albert Cousins from the district attorney's office standing on the cement slab of his front porch. He'd opened the door twenty times in the last half hourâto neighbors and friends and people from church and Beverly's sister and all his brothers and their parents and practically an entire precinct worth of copsâbut Cousins was the only surprise. Fix had asked his wife two weeks ago why she thought they had to invite every single person they knew in the world to a christening party and she'd asked him if he wanted to look over the guest list and tell her who to cut. He hadn't looked at the list, but if she were standing at the door now he would have pointed straight ahead and said,
. Not that he disliked Albert Cousins, he didn't know him other than to put his name together with his face, but not knowing him was the reason not to invite him. Fix had the thought that maybe Cousins had come to his house to talk to him about a case: nothing like that had ever happened before but what else was the explanation? Guests were milling around in the front
yard, and whether they were coming late or leaving early or just taking refuge outside because the house was packed beyond what any fire marshal would allow, Fix couldn't say. What he was sure of was that Cousins was there uninvited, alone with a bottle in a bag.
“Fix,” Albert Cousins said. The tall deputy DA in a suit and tie put out his hand.
“Al,” Fix said. (Did people call him Al?) “Glad you made it.” He gave his hand two hard pumps and let it go.
“I'm cutting it close,” Cousins said, looking at the crowd inside as if there might not be room for him. The party was clearly past its midpointâmost of the small, triangular sandwiches were gone, half the cookies. The tablecloth beneath the punch bowl was pink and damp.
Fix stepped aside to let him in. “You're here now,” he said.
“Wouldn't have missed it.” Though of course he had missed it. He hadn't been at the christening.
Dick Spencer was the only one from the DA's office Fix had invited. Dick had been a cop himself, had gone to law school at night, pulled himself up without ever making any of the other guys feel like he was better for it. It didn't matter if Dick was driving a black-and-white or standing in front of the judge, there was no doubt where he came from. Cousins on the other hand was a lawyer like all the othersâDAs, PDs, the hired gunsâfriendly enough when they needed something but unlikely to invite an officer along for a drink, and if they did it was only because they thought the cop was holding out on them. DAs were the guys who smoked your cigarettes because they were trying to quit. The cops, who filled up the living room and dining room and spilled out into the backyard beneath the clothesline and the two orange trees, they weren't trying to quit. They drank iced tea mixed with lemonade and smoked like stevedores.
Albert Cousins handed over the bag and Fix looked inside. It was a bottle of gin, a big one. Other people brought prayer cards or mother-of-pearl rosary beads or a pocket-sized Bible covered in white kid with gilt-edged pages. Five of the guys, or their five wives, had kicked in together and bought a blue enameled cross on a chain, a tiny pearl at the center, very pretty, something for the future.
“This makes a boy and a girl?”
Cousins shrugged. “What can you do?”
“Not a thing,” Fix said and closed the door. Beverly had told him to leave it open so they could get some air, which went to show how much she knew about man's inhumanity to man. It didn't matter how many people were in the house. You didn't leave the goddamn door open.
Beverly leaned out of the kitchen. There were easily thirty people standing between themâthe entire Meloy clan, all the DeMatteos, a handful of altar boys plowing through what was left of the cookiesâbut there was no missing Beverly. That yellow dress.
“Fix?” she said, raising her voice over the din.
It was Cousins who turned his head first, and Cousins gave her a nod.
By reflex Fix stood straighter, but he let the moment pass. “Make yourself at home,” he said to the deputy district attorney and pointed out a cluster of detectives by the sliding glass door, their jackets still on. “You know plenty of people here.” Maybe that was true and maybe it wasn't. Cousins sure as hell didn't know the host. Fix turned to cut his way through the crowd and the crowd parted for him, touching his shoulder and shaking his hand, saying congratulations. He tried not to step on any of the kids, his
four-year-old daughter Caroline among them, who were playing some sort of game on the dining room floor, crouching and crawling like tigers between the feet of adults.
The kitchen was packed with wives, all of them laughing and talking too loud, none of them being helpful except for Lois from next door who was pulling bowls out of the refrigerator. Beverly's best friend, Wallis, was using the side of the bright chrome toaster to reapply her lipstick. Wallis was too thin and too tan and when she straightened up she was wearing too much lipstick. Beverly's mother was sitting at the breakfast table with the baby in her lap. They had changed her from her lacy christening gown into a starched white dress with yellow flowers embroidered around the neck, as if she were a bride who'd slipped into her going-away dress at the end of the reception. The women in the kitchen took turns making a fuss over the baby, acting like it was their job to keep her entertained until the Magi arrived. But the baby wasn't entertained. Her blue eyes were glazed over. She was staring into the middle distance, tired of everything. All this rush to make sandwiches and take in presents for a girl who was not yet a year old.
“Look how pretty she is,” his mother-in-law said to no one, running the back of one finger across the baby's rounded cheek.
“Ice,” Beverly said to her husband. “We're out of ice.”
“That was your sister's assignment,” Fix said.
“Then she failed. Can you ask one of the guys to go get some? It's too hot to have a party without ice.” She had tied an apron behind her neck but not around her waist. She was trying not to wrinkle her dress. Strands of yellow hair had come loose from her French twist and were falling into her eyes.
“If she didn't bring the ice, then she might at least come in here and make some sandwiches.” Fix was looking right at Wallis when he said this but Wallis capped her lipstick and ignored him. He had
meant it to be helpful because clearly Beverly had her hands full. To look at her anyone would think that Beverly was the sort of person who would have her parties catered, someone who would sit on the couch while other people passed the trays.
“Bonnie's so happy to see all those cops in one room. She can't be expected to think about sandwiches,” Beverly said, and then she stopped the assembling of cream cheese and cucumbers for a minute and looked down at his hand. “What's in the bag?”
Fix held up the gin, and his wife, surprised, delivered the first smile she'd given him all day, maybe all week.
“Whoever you send to the store,” Wallis said, displaying a sudden interest in the conversation, “tell them to get tonic.”
Fix said he would buy the ice himself. There was a market up the street and he wasn't opposed to slipping out for a minute. The relative quiet of the neighborhood, the order of the bungalows with their tight green lawns, the slender shadows the palm trees cast, and the smell of the orange blossoms all combined with the cigarette he was smoking to have a settling effect on him. His brother Tom came along and they walked together in companionable silence. Tom and Betty had three kids now, all girls, and lived in Escondido, where he worked for the fire department. Fix was starting to see that this was the way life worked once you got older and the kids came; there wasn't as much time as you thought there was going to be. The brothers hadn't seen each other since they'd all met up at their parents' house and gone to Mass on Christmas Eve, and before that it was probably when they'd driven down to Escondido for Erin's christening. A red Sunbeam convertible went by and Tom said, “That one.” Fix nodded, sorry he hadn't seen it first. Now he had to wait for something he wanted to come along. At the market they bought four bags of ice and four bottles of tonic.
The kid at the register asked them if they needed any limes and Fix shook his head. It was Los Angeles in June. You couldn't give a lime away.
Fix hadn't checked his watch when they'd left for the market but he was a good judge of time. Most cops were. They'd been gone twenty minutes, twenty-five tops. It wasn't long enough for everything to change, but when they came back the front door was standing open and there was no one left in the yard. Tom didn't notice the difference, but then a fireman wouldn't. If the place didn't smell like smoke then there wasn't a problem. There were still plenty of people in the house but it was quieter now. Fix had turned on the radio before the party started and for the first time he could hear a few notes of music. The kids weren't crawling in the dining room anymore and no one seemed to notice they were gone. All attention focused on the open kitchen door, which was where the two Keating brothers were heading with the ice. Fix's partner, Lomer, was waiting for them and Lomer tipped his head in the direction of the crowd. “You got here just in time,” he said.
As tight as it had been in the kitchen before they'd left, there were three times as many people crammed in there now, most of them men. Beverly's mother was nowhere in sight and neither was the baby. Beverly was standing at the sink, a butcher's knife in her hand. She was slicing oranges from an enormous pile that was sliding across the counter while the two lawyers from the L.A. County District Attorney's Office, Dick Spencer and Albert Cousinsâsuit jackets off, ties off, and shirtsleeves rolled up high above the elbowâwere twisting the halves of oranges on two metal juicers. Their foreheads were flushed and damp with sweat, their opened collars just beginning to darken, they worked as if the safety of their city relied on the making of orange juice.
Beverly's sister Bonnie, ready now to be helpful, plucked Dick
Spencer's glasses from his face and wiped them with a dish towel, even though Dick had a capable wife somewhere in the crush. That was when Dick, his eyes relieved of the scrim of sweat, saw Fix and Tom and called out for the ice.
“Ice!” Bonnie cried, because it was true, it was hot as hell and ice sounded better than anything. She dropped her towel to lift the two bags from Tom, placing them in the sink atop the neat orange cups of empty rinds. Then she took the bags from Fix. Ice was her responsibility.
Beverly stopped slicing. “Perfect timing,” she said and dug a paper cup into the open plastic bag, knocking out three modest cubes as if she knew to pace herself. She poured a short drinkâhalf gin, half orange juice, from the full pitcher. She made another and another and another as the cups were passed through the kitchen and out the door and into the waiting hands of the guests.
“I got the tonic,” Fix said, looking at the one bag still in his hands. He wasn't objecting to anything other than the feeling that he and his brother had somehow been left behind in the time it had taken them to walk to the market and back.
“Orange juice is better,” Albert Cousins said, stopping just long enough to down the drink Bonnie had made for him. Bonnie, so recently enamored of cops, had shifted her allegiance to the two DAs.
“For vodka,” Fix said. Screwdrivers. Everyone knew that.
But Cousins tilted his head towards the disbeliever, and there was Beverly, handing her husband a drink. For all the world it looked like she and Cousins had a code worked out between them. Fix held the cup in his hand and stared at the uninvited guest. He had his three brothers in the house, an untold number of able-bodied men from the Los Angeles Police Department, and a priest who organized a Saturday boxing program for troubled boys, all of
whom would back him up in the removal of a single deputy district attorney.
“Cheers,” Beverly said in a low voice, not as a toast but a directive, and Fix, still thinking there was a complaint to be made, turned up his paper cup.
Father Joe Mike sat on the ground with his back against the back of the Keating house, staking out a sliver of shade. He rested his cup of juice and gin on the knee of his standard-issue black pants. Priest pants. The drink was either his fourth or his third, he didn't remember and he didn't care because the drinks were very small. He was making an effort to write a sermon in his head for the following Sunday. He wanted to tell the congregation, the few who were not presently in the Keatings' backyard, how the miracle of loaves and fishes had been enacted here today, but he couldn't find a way to wring enough booze out of the narrative. He didn't believe that
had witnessed a miracle, no one thought that, but he had seen a perfect explanation of how the miracle might have been engineered in the time of Christ. It was a large bottle of gin Albert Cousins had brought to the party, yes, but it was in no way large enough to fill all the cups, and in certain cases to fill them many times over, for the more than one hundred guests, some of whom were dancing not four feet in front of him. And while the recently stripped Valencia trees in the backyard had been heavy with fruit, they never would have been able to come up with enough juice to sate the entire party. Conventional wisdom says that orange juice doesn't go with gin, and anyway, who was expecting a drink at a christening party? Had the Keatings just put the gin in their liquor cabinet no one would have thought less of them. But Fix Keating had given the bottle to his wife, and his wife, worn down by the stress of throwing a good party, was going to have a drink, and if
she was going to have a drink then by God everyone at the party was welcome to join her. In many ways this was Beverly Keating's miracle. Albert Cousins, the man who brought the gin, was also the one who suggested the mixer. Albert Cousins had been sitting beside him not two minutes before, telling Father Joe Mike that he was from Virginia and even after three years in Los Angeles he was still shocked by the abundance of citrus fruit hanging from trees. Bertâhe told the priest to call him Bertâhad grown up with frozen concentrate mixed into pitchers of water which, although he hadn't known it at the time, had nothing to do with orange juice. Now his children drank fresh-squeezed juice as thoughtlessly as he had drunk milk as a boy. They squeezed it from the fruit they had picked off the trees in their own backyard. He could see a new set of muscles hardening in the right forearm of his wife, Teresa, from the constant twisting of oranges on the juicer while their children held up their cups and waited for more. Orange juice was all they wanted, Bert told him. They had it every morning with their cereal, and Teresa froze it into Tupperware popsicle molds and gave the popsicles to the children for their afternoon snacks, and in the evening he and Teresa drank it over ice with vodka or bourbon or gin. This was what no one seemed to understandâit didn't matter what you put into it, what mattered was the juice itself. “People from California forget that, because they've been spoiled,” Bert said.