Competing With the Star (Star #2) (15 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

I had been hoping to run into Nick at school, but it was like he disappeared from the earth. Finally on Wednesday, I asked the girls at lunch if anyone knew where he was.

“Why? Are you guys talking again?” Simone asked.

“Obviously not or she’d know where he was,” Asia said, licking pudding off her spoon. “His classes are all on the other side of school so I only see him when…well, when he used to come to your locker.”

Finally, I got desperate and asked Lucas in the hallway if he had seen Nick.

“No, he’s home sick,” he said. “Do you want me to give him a message?”

“No, just…sorry to hear he isn’t feeling well. Is it serious?”

“Nah, I think he’s over it now, but milking it for another day off. Hey, how’s Pilar doing?” he asked.

“She’s fine.” She’s too good for you, but she’s fine.

“Tell her I said hey, okay?”

I nodded and went to my locker. Charlotte was waiting for me.

“Guess what? Will is helping out with the science fair and he asked me to have dinner with him after,” she said.

“That is so cool.”

“Are you okay with it? You did sort of go out with him at the beginning of the school year. I know you said it was fine before, but I wanted to check.”

“Of course, go. Have fun, but don’t let Simone sit near him,” I said, and she giggled.

“So how are you doing?”

“I just wish I could know for sure Nick was telling me the truth. I don’t want to get back with him and spend my time wondering if he’d rather be with the teen TV dream, you know?”

“Yeah, but if he wanted to be with her so bad, wouldn’t he be trying to get with her now?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Possibly, but it’s a small school, and maybe he doesn’t want to cause extra drama.”

“He seems like a sweet guy. He never ignored me like some of those jerks do. It’s possible that nice guys make mistakes, but they are sorry and won’t do it again.”

“Are you saying I should forgive him and take him back even if they did kiss? Like, if he got caught up in the moment.”

“He’s never once backed down from his story. And he also talked to me about it. He texted me yesterday and said he would never try to hurt you. He keeps trying to talk to you after school, but he said Pilar has this…what did he call it? Invisible fortress around you. He thinks she’s protecting you from how Lucas and Connor hurt her.”

“She has been a good friend.”

“And who saw that one coming?” Charlotte said with a smile. “But Nick has always been a good friend to you too. Can you say the same about Simone?”

“She stuck up for me before and if it weren’t for Simone no one would have even noticed I was alive before,” I said.

“I noticed. Nick noticed.”

I nodded. “Yeah, true, but I better get going and get home. Gotta set up for my birthday dinner with my grandparents tonight.”

“Have fun. See ya tomorrow.”

I ended up walking home alone and I wondered if I should text Nick and at least tell him I hoped he was feeling better. After all, it was no fun to be sick, but I would only be doing it to remind him I was still there and hope he wasn’t trying to talk to any other girls.

I went straight to my grandparents’ house where they had put up streamers and balloons for my birthday.

“There’s my birthday girl,” Grandpa said, giving me a hug. “Come here for a minute.”

Grandpa pulled me into the library and grabbed a bag out of the cabinet. “Put this in your book bag. This is your secret present from me. Grandma is not to know a thing about it. This gift is just between us and if you get caught with it, then I know nothing. I’m not kidding—I will deny everything.”

“Grandpa. Did you get me porn?” I asked with a straight face.

“Oh, what a funny girl. But in your grandmother’s eyes, it’s almost just as bad.”

“Okay, watch the door. Now I gotta look,” I opened my bag and saw a card and a set of DVDs. The card said:

We Hope You Enjoy Your New Subscription to Celebrity Scoopers Magazine: Your Source for all the Entertainment Gossip.

And the DVD set was the special edition fan set of
Charmed Lives
, the show Grandpa, Char, her grandfather, and I were addicted to.

“I heard they only made two thousand of these DVDs and only members of the fan club got them,” I said.

“Check your birthday card,” he said.

I opened the card and inside was a gold
Charmed Lives
fan club membership card.

“Grandpa, you didn’t! This is awesome.”

“You should know I have ulterior motives. I want to access the special website with the code. You must share the show spoilers with me, but never let anyone know about this gift…and by that I mean your grandmother and aunts. They don’t appreciate fine art like
Charmed Lives
. You can tell your friends though.”

“Thank you so much!”

“You deserve it, kiddo. You’ve been getting excellent grades. I know changing schools and uprooting your life isn’t easy and you have done a great job settling into this new area and we are all proud of you.”

I went to wash up before joining them in the kitchen when I heard my phone get a text.

Nick:
Hey, Lucas said you were asking about me. Is everything okay?

He was checking up to make sure I was all right. That was so sweet and thoughtful. It made me miss how we used to be—sharing everything from our day and how I felt so much better knowing he was out there to talk to. All that had been taken away from me by one little kiss.

Me: Hadn’t seen you around and wondered if anything was going on with your grandpa.

Nick: He’s okay. I wasn’t feeling well though.

Me: I hope you feel better.

Nick: Thanks. I’m doing okay now. I just hope I didn’t get Grandpa sick or anything. I’m better now, but I just worry about that sort of thing. Anyway, I hope you have a nice birthday.

Me: Thank you. I’m doing a big dinner with my family tonight.

Nick: Have a good time.

Me: Thanks.

“Hadley, come and open your presents,” Aunt Faith said.

“Coming.” I went into the living room with mixed feelings. It was nice Nick and I were talking again, but sad that it wasn’t like it used to be.

“Okay, this one’s from me,” Aunt Faith said.

I recognized the box from a store downtown. She had great taste, so anything she bought would be amazing. I tore off the lid and inside was a long red sweater dress—exactly like one Valeria had worn on the cover of a magazine recently. It was perfect—a touch dressy for school, but perfect for…oh crap, a date.

“I thought you could use something a little nicer for Saturday nights,” she said, winking.

“Thanks, I love it.”

Grandma handed me an envelope and said, “It’s fifty dollars as usual. If you were smart, you’d hand it back and I’ll put it in your savings account.”

Aunt Faith met my eyes and smirked at me.

“But just to show we’re not boring, we also got you something else. I know you liked basketball and baseball, so we’re paying for you to get the sports channels at your house so you can get all the games. My friend, Margie, said once kids start dating you should keep a close eye on them, so we figured if you and Nick are safely at the house under your parents’ watch, nothing bad can happen. So hope you two enjoy it,” she said, smiling.

Aunt Faith’s smile faded. Oh crap, Grandma had gone out of her way to do a nice thing for me and she had no clue Nick and I weren’t together anymore.

“Thank you, that’s so thoughtful,” I said, and got up and hugged her and Grandpa.

“Nick’s such a nice young man and so polite,” Grandpa said. “We thought you two would like it. And if you want to invite your old grandpa to watch a game or two, I would not object.”

“Of course. You’re always welcome to come watch with us.”

Actually, Grandpa would probably be my only viewing buddy.

My parents gave me a gift certificate to a bookstore and one for a clothing boutique downtown that I liked. We got up to go into the dining room and Aunt Faith held me back.

“You okay?” she asked.

“I dunno. Maybe.”

She hugged me. “It will be okay. You will get through it. One day at a time.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

I woke up on my birthday and checked my phone. I had a bunch of birthday texts—even Morgan had sent one. It just said ‘
Happy birthday’
, but I was shocked she sent anything at all. I didn’t have one from Nick, but he had wished me happy birthday yesterday.

Mom made me birthday cake pancakes for breakfast with frosting and rainbow sprinkles. I had been so caught up with all the drama, that I forgot how they were one of my favorite birthday traditions. The pancakes were delicious, but so sweet and sugary that even I couldn’t finish the stack.

“When she falls over in a diabetic coma, we can bring balloons to the hospital.” Dad laughed as he took his fork to steal a pancake off my plate.

“Have at it. Three is my limit,” I said.

“Oh wow, it’s like dessert for breakfast,” he said, taking a bite.

“Well, you only turn sixteen once,” Mom said.

I helped her straighten up the family room for the party and went to get ready. It was just the girls coming over, but I knew that meant tons of selfies, so I did my makeup and hair with a little more care than usual.

Charlotte arrived first and then Pilar showed up.

“What movies did you get?” Pilar asked.

“
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
,
Just Friends
, and
Funny Face
,” I said.

“Ooh, can we watch
Funny Face
first?” Charlotte asked.

I nodded and she opened the case and frowned. “They put the wrong movie in. This one is
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.”

“Oh well. Put it in anyway. Maybe it’s a good movie.”

Asia and Simone showed up then and Charlotte turned the movie on. It was an older film, which made me think about Nick, but when Elizabeth Taylor’s face popped on the screen I felt queasy.

“She is so pretty. I love Elizabeth Taylor,” Simone said, grabbing a carrot stick off the veggie tray.

“Forget her, who is the guy? His blue eyes are amazing,” Asia said.

Pilar picked up her phone and did a search. “Paul Newman. And you should see the pics my phone pulled up. Even hotter.”

“I recognize him. He was on one of those entertainment relationship bios we were watching, Hadley,” Charlotte said.

“I don’t remember him.”

“I think you might have left before that one came on,” she said. “He and his wife were married forever and like best friends. It was kind of sweet after that marathon of crash and burn relationships we watched that night.”

“Crash and burn?” Simone asked.

“Super passionate and then they burn out and break up. Like all of Marilyn Monroe’s exes,” she said.

“Oh, she is my idol. I love Marilyn so much. You know, she and Joe DiMaggio were total soulmates. I bet they’re together now in heaven,” Simone said. “So romantic.”

Charlotte and I exchanged a look. “Well, she had a lot of up and down relationships. It was, like, all or nothing with her,” Char said.

“That’s because she has a very passionate personality. I mean, this Paul guy is cute, but who wants to be married to their best friend—boring! Give me a hot older baseball player who will pine away for me and send roses to my grave after I die,” Simone said.

Pilar mouthed, “Crazy” to me, and I shrugged.

“Can I have both? The best friend thing and the crazy passion?” Asia asked. “Is that too much to ask?”

“Yeah, and throw in Paul Newman’s eyes,” Pilar said. “Seriously hot.”

“What I can’t believe is that this Paul dude is not falling for Elizabeth,” Simone said. “She’s so gorgeous, how could he not be crazy about her?”

Charlotte looked over at her. “Well, the movie is sort of implying he’s not into women.”

“Yeah, whatever, maybe,” Simone said. “But he acts all annoyed with her. She’s a goddess. He should be so lucky that she’d even look twice at him.”

“Maybe he wants more than just a pretty face,” Pilar said.

“Whatever. He’s stupid.”

The movie ended and Asia suggested I open my presents before we ate. Charlotte gave me hers first. It was a journal with a Jane Austen quote on it that said:

“
We have all a better guide in ourselves…than any other person can be.”

She had also stuck a bookstore gift card in the front cover.

“I love it. Thanks, Char.”

“Mine next,” Simone said, bringing over a large purple gift bag.

I reached in and pulled out the black and blue top I had tried on in Saugatuck. It had been over sixty bucks and I was shocked she had bought it for me.

“I went back and got it when you guys went to order food that night,” she said, smiling. “Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

Asia went next and gave me one of the MantraBands. It was the
‘
Be true. Be you. Be kind’
one I had told Pilar I wanted. I wondered why Pilar told her about it.

“Okay, I’m next,” Pilar said.

I could tell it was another MantraBand from the size of the box. Did Pilar and Asia get me the same one?

“Which one did you get?” Simone asked.

“It says,
‘
You’re My Person’
. The box says:

‘When you smile, I smile. When you cry, I cry. What makes you happy, makes me happy. Wherever you are, whatever happens, know that I’m always with you. You’re my person. You will always be my person.’
”

“Thank you. I love it,” I said. I couldn’t believe Pilar had chosen that one for me. She had truly become someone I could rely on and it was nice to see she felt that way about me as well.

Pilar held up her arm. “I have a matching one.”

It was then that I noticed Simone was no longer smiling. Asia got a text then and excused herself while we went into the kitchen to get food.

“So I guess I didn’t realize you and Pilar were so tight,” Simone said as Pilar and Charlotte were getting some salad.

“Uh-huh, we’ve become good friends,” I said. “She’s someone I can count on.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, good luck with that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she’s not exactly who I’d lean on for support,” Simone said.

“She’s always there when I need her and always has my back.”

I could tell Pilar overheard me by the smile on her face.

“Great, that’s…super,” Simone said.

“Hadley? Can you come here for a minute?” Asia asked.

I went over to where she was and she took me into the hallway. She looked nervous as she paced and flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder.

“Don’t be mad at me, okay?” she said. “I told Nick to drop by. He just wanted to give you your birthday present. He’s not going to stay and make things awkward. This was really intimidating for him to even come here, but he said he picked this gift out a while ago for you.”

“Asia, I don’t know. Obviously I’m not over him, but maybe I’m too vulnerable right now to make a decision.”

“You don’t have to do anything other than go outside and talk to him for a second. You can throw it in his face if you want, but honestly, I wouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“He asked me what you wanted for your birthday. I gave him an idea, but he picked out what he wanted it to say. It’s…well, I kind of think you should hear him out,” she said.

My legs were trembling as I went to the door. A polite, civil text was one thing, but I didn’t know what this would mean. He was facing the street when I got outside and he turned when he heard me walk up. His expression softened and he looked sad and hurt.

“Please don’t say anything,” he said. “This was really hard for me to come here tonight. I-I haven’t felt right since everything went down. It’s like I’m walking underwater all the time. Sometimes I’m mad at Simone, sometimes I’m mad at you for not believing me, and sometimes I just hate the stupid universe for giving me something so great and then taking it away.”

I took a deep breath to try to steady my nerves and wondered if he could see my legs shaking.

“I’ve told you how I feel and I don’t understand how you could forgive Simone and not even want to talk to me. I thought we had something special,” he said.

“I thought so too.”

“Then why would you believe her over me?” he asked. He looked so sad and I wanted to throw my arms around him and just pretend it all never happened.

“I don’t really forgive her. I’m mad at her, but she just keeps…I don’t know. I didn’t even ask her to be here tonight. She just assumed she was invited,” I said.

“So you’re mad at both of us?”

“I’m disappointed in her, but sometimes I just…”

“Hadley?” my mother said, opening the front door. “Oh, Nick, sorry. I didn’t know you were here. Come on in, hon.”

“Oh, thank you, but I’m not staying. I just wanted to drop off Hadley’s present.”

“You sure? We got cupcakes,” Mom said, smiling.

“I don’t want to intrude. I can’t stay anyway,” he said.

“I’ll leave you kids alone,” she said, shutting the door behind her.

“You were saying?” he said.

“I guess I didn’t expect that much from Simone, but I did from you. And sometimes I really hate you for what happened.”

I was shocked that had come out of my mouth. His eyes were wide and he looked as stunned by my admission as I felt by saying it.

“Wow, I didn’t expect that. I swear I didn’t do anything with her. If that’s the way you feel…I mean, is there anywhere to go from here or are you just…done with me—with us?”

My eyes were filling up and I was trying to hold back the tears. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to say or even how I feel right now.”

“I think you do. Please be honest with me. We have always been able to tell each other everything. Just tell me the truth.”

“You want honesty? How about I don’t know? Because I have no clue. All I know is I want to believe you, and part of me does, but then there is this other part of me that’s scared and hurt and hates you for doing this to me. I hate you for hurting me like this.”

Tears were running down my face now.

“You have to know deep down that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I can’t make you believe me, all I can do is hope you will,” he said, looking away from me. “I bought this for you before any of this happened. I wasn’t sure what I should do with it, but I want you to have it. Just please don’t open it until after I leave, okay?”

I nodded and he handed me the box.

“I’ll let you get back to your party. There’s nothing more I can say to you. Happy birthday, Hadley.”

He turned around and walked down the driveway. I wanted to run after him and ask if it was over, but it was like my feet were glued to the pavement. I looked down at the present in my hand and unwrapped it. Inside was another MantraBand, but this one said,
‘
I Love You More’
.

My heart felt like it was swelling up. I opened the card and he had written a short note:

Hadley,

These have never just been words to me and you’ve never been just any girl to me. I love you with all my heart and I would never hurt you. I hope that someday you can believe me and know who is truly in your corner.

Love,

Nick

I ran down the sidewalk to see if I could catch up to Nick, but he was gone.

“Hadley, please come inside. I understand you want to see your boyfriend, but you’re being inconsiderate to your guests,” Mom said from the doorway.

I stood with my back to her and tried to compose myself.

“Coming.”

I went to wash my face and try to get my crap together. I went into the kitchen where the girls were sitting around the table.

“What happened?” Pilar asked.

“It’s not a big deal,” I said. Then it hit me—if they were my friends, then shouldn’t I be confiding in them? But the problem was that Simone was there and I no longer felt comfortable sharing anything personal with her, and didn’t believe that anything she’d say would be in my best interest. I wanted her to leave so I could talk to my real friends.

“Are you okay?” Charlotte asked. “What did he say?”

“I’m not up to talking about it right now.”

“Yeah, it’s a happy occasion, so let’s keep it happy. Okay? Who wants a cupcake?” Simone said.

As she got up to get dessert I started to think about how Nick had never once tried to brush my feelings aside and how he consistently said he cared about me. He didn’t push me the way Simone was by buying me nice things to try to make it up to me or pushing me into going out with that Dylan guy. I realized that every time I had been around Simone, I had felt sick and uneasy and yet when he would tell me he was telling the truth, my gut told me he was. I kept dismissing it as me just wanting it to be true, but now I felt it was the truth.