Read Complete Plays, The Online
Authors: William Shakespeare
Complete Plays, The (322 page)
King
I think thee now some common customer.
Diana
By Jove, if ever I knew man, ’twas you.
King
Wherefore hast thou accused him all this while?
Diana
Because he’s guilty, and he is not guilty:
He knows I am no maid, and he’ll swear to’t;
I’ll swear I am a maid, and he knows not.
Great king, I am no strumpet, by my life;
I am either maid, or else this old man’s wife.
King
She does abuse our ears: to prison with her.
Diana
Good mother, fetch my bail. Stay, royal sir:
Exit Widow
The jeweller that owes the ring is sent for,
And he shall surety me. But for this lord,
Who hath abused me, as he knows himself,
Though yet he never harm’d me, here I quit him:
He knows himself my bed he hath defiled;
And at that time he got his wife with child:
Dead though she be, she feels her young one kick:
So there’s my riddle: one that’s dead is quick:
And now behold the meaning.
Re-enter Widow, with Helena
King
Is there no exorcist
Beguiles the truer office of mine eyes?
Is’t real that I see?
Helena
No, my good lord;
’Tis but the shadow of a wife you see,
The name and not the thing.
Bertram
Both, both. O, pardon!
Helena
O my good lord, when I was like this maid,
I found you wondrous kind. There is your ring;
And, look you, here’s your letter; this it says:
‘When from my finger you can get this ring
And are by me with child,’ & c. This is done:
Will you be mine, now you are doubly won?
Bertram
If she, my liege, can make me know this clearly,
I’ll love her dearly, ever, ever dearly.
Helena
If it appear not plain and prove untrue,
Deadly divorce step between me and you!
O my dear mother, do I see you living?
Lafeu
Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon:
To Parolles
Good Tom Drum, lend me a handkercher: so,
I thank thee: wait on me home, I’ll make sport with thee:
Let thy courtesies alone, they are scurvy ones.
King
Let us from point to point this story know,
To make the even truth in pleasure flow.
To Diana
If thou be’st yet a fresh uncropped flower,
Choose thou thy husband, and I’ll pay thy dower;
For I can guess that by thy honest aid
Thou keep’st a wife herself, thyself a maid.
Of that and all the progress, more or less,
Resolvedly more leisure shall express:
All yet seems well; and if it end so meet,
The bitter past, more welcome is the sweet.
Flourish
E
PILOGUE
King
The king’s a beggar, now the play is done:
All is well ended, if this suit be won,
That you express content; which we will pay,
With strife to please you, day exceeding day:
Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts;
Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts.
Exeunt
As You Like It
T
ABLE
OF
C
ONTENTS
S
CENE
I. O
RCHARD
OF
O
LIVER
’
S
HOUSE
.
S
CENE
II. L
AWN
BEFORE
THE
D
UKE
’
S
PALACE
.
S
CENE
III. B
EFORE
O
LIVER
’
S
HOUSE
.
S
CENE
V. A
NOTHER
PART
OF
THE
FOREST
.
C
HARACTERS
OF
THE
P
LAY
Duke, living in exile
Frederick, brother to the Duke, and Usurper of his Dominions
Amiens, Lord attending on the Duke in his Banishment
Jaques, Lord attending on the Duke in his Banishment
Le Beau, a Courtier attending upon Frederick
Charles, his Wrestler
Oliver, son of Sir Rowland de Bois
Jaques, son of Sir Rowland de Bois
Orlando, son of Sir Rowland de Bois
Adam, servant to Oliver
Dennis, servant to Oliver
Touchstone, a clown
Sir Oliver Martext, a Vicar
Corin, shepherd
Silvius, shepherd
William, a country fellow, in love with Audrey
A person representing Hymen
Rosalind, daughter to the banished Duke
Celia, daughter to Frederick
Phebe, a shepherdess
Audrey, a country wench
Lords belonging to the two Dukes; Pages, Foresters, and other Attendants.
A
CT
I
S
CENE
I. O
RCHARD
OF
O
LIVER
’
S
HOUSE
.
Enter Orlando and Adam
Orlando
As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns, and, as thou sayest, charged my brother, on his blessing, to breed me well: and there begins my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and report speaks goldenly of his profit: for my part, he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call you that keeping for a gentleman of my birth, that differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses are bred better; for, besides that they are fair with their feeding, they are taught their manage, and to that end riders dearly hired: but I, his brother, gain nothing under him but growth; for the which his animals on his dunghills are as much bound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he so plentifully gives me, the something that nature gave me his countenance seems to take from me: he lets me feed with his hinds, bars me the place of a brother, and, as much as in him lies, mines my gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I think is within me, begins to mutiny against this servitude: I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wise remedy how to avoid it.
Adam
Yonder comes my master, your brother.
Orlando
Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will shake me up.
Enter Oliver
Oliver
Now, sir! what make you here?
Orlando
Nothing: I am not taught to make any thing.
Oliver
What mar you then, sir?
Orlando
Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.
Oliver
Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile.
Orlando
Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them? What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should come to such penury?
Oliver
Know you where your are, sir?
Orlando
O, sir, very well; here in your orchard.
Oliver
Know you before whom, sir?
Orlando
Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know you are my eldest brother; and, in the gentle condition of blood, you should so know me. The courtesy of nations allows you my better, in that you are the first-born; but the same tradition takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers betwixt us: I have as much of my father in me as you; albeit, I confess, your coming before me is nearer to his reverence.
Oliver
What, boy!
Orlando
Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.
Oliver
Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?
Orlando
I am no villain; I am the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys; he was my father, and he is thrice a villain that says such a father begot villains. Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this hand from thy throat till this other had pulled out thy tongue for saying so: thou hast railed on thyself.
Adam
Sweet masters, be patient: for your father’s remembrance, be at accord.
Oliver
Let me go, I say.
Orlando
I will not, till I please: you shall hear me. My father charged you in his will to give me good education: you have trained me like a peasant, obscuring and hiding from me all gentleman-like qualities. The spirit of my father grows strong in me, and I will no longer endure it: therefore allow me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or give me the poor allottery my father left me by testament; with that I will go buy my fortunes.
Oliver
And what wilt thou do? beg, when that is spent? Well, sir, get you in: I will not long be troubled with you; you shall have some part of your will: I pray you, leave me.
Orlando
I will no further offend you than becomes me for my good.
Oliver
Get you with him, you old dog.
Adam
Is ‘old dog’ my reward? Most true, I have lost my teeth in your service. God be with my old master! he would not have spoke such a word.
Exeunt Orlando and Adam
Oliver
Is it even so? begin you to grow upon me? I will physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand crowns neither. Holla, Dennis!
Enter Dennis
Dennis
Calls your worship?
Oliver
Was not Charles, the duke’s wrestler, here to speak with me?
Dennis
So please you, he is here at the door and importunes access to you.
Oliver
Call him in.
Exit Dennis
’Twill be a good way; and to-morrow the wrestling is.
Enter Charles
Charles
Good morrow to your worship.
Oliver
Good Monsieur Charles, what’s the new news at the new court?
Charles
There’s no news at the court, sir, but the old news: that is, the old duke is banished by his younger brother the new duke; and three or four loving lords have put themselves into voluntary exile with him, whose lands and revenues enrich the new duke; therefore he gives them good leave to wander.