Complete Plays, The (331 page)

Oliver

Twice did he turn his back and purposed so;
But kindness, nobler ever than revenge,
And nature, stronger than his just occasion,
Made him give battle to the lioness,
Who quickly fell before him: in which hurtling
From miserable slumber I awaked.

Celia

Are you his brother?

Rosalind

Wast you he rescued?

Celia

Was’t you that did so oft contrive to kill him?

Oliver

’Twas I; but ’tis not I I do not shame
To tell you what I was, since my conversion
So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.

Rosalind

But, for the bloody napkin?

Oliver

By and by.
When from the first to last betwixt us two
Tears our recountments had most kindly bathed,
As how I came into that desert place:—
In brief, he led me to the gentle duke,
Who gave me fresh array and entertainment,
Committing me unto my brother’s love;
Who led me instantly unto his cave,
There stripp’d himself, and here upon his arm
The lioness had torn some flesh away,
Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted
And cried, in fainting, upon Rosalind.
Brief, I recover’d him, bound up his wound;
And, after some small space, being strong at heart,
He sent me hither, stranger as I am,
To tell this story, that you might excuse
His broken promise, and to give this napkin
Dyed in his blood unto the shepherd youth
That he in sport doth call his Rosalind.

Rosalind swoons

Celia

Why, how now, Ganymede! sweet Ganymede!

Oliver

Many will swoon when they do look on blood.

Celia

There is more in it. Cousin Ganymede!

Oliver

Look, he recovers.

Rosalind

I would I were at home.

Celia

We’ll lead you thither.
I pray you, will you take him by the arm?

Oliver

Be of good cheer, youth: you a man! you lack a man’s heart.

Rosalind

I do so, I confess it. Ah, sirrah, a body would think this was well counterfeited! I pray you, tell your brother how well I counterfeited. Heigh-ho!

Oliver

This was not counterfeit: there is too great testimony in your complexion that it was a passion of earnest.

Rosalind

Counterfeit, I assure you.

Oliver

Well then, take a good heart and counterfeit to be a man.

Rosalind

So I do: but, i’ faith, I should have been a woman by right.

Celia

Come, you look paler and paler: pray you, draw homewards. Good sir, go with us.

Oliver

That will I, for I must bear answer back
How you excuse my brother, Rosalind.

Rosalind

I shall devise something: but, I pray you, commend my counterfeiting to him. Will you go?

Exeunt

A
CT
V

S
CENE
I. T
HE
FOREST
.

Enter Touchstone and Audrey

Touchstone

We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey.

Audrey

Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman’s saying.

Touchstone

A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.

Audrey

Ay, I know who ’tis; he hath no interest in me in the world: here comes the man you mean.

Touchstone

It is meat and drink to me to see a clown: by my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.

Enter William

William

Good even, Audrey.

Audrey

God ye good even, William.

William

And good even to you, sir.

Touchstone

Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?

William

Five and twenty, sir.

Touchstone

A ripe age. Is thy name William?

William

William, sir.

Touchstone

A fair name. Wast born i’ the forest here?

William

Ay, sir, I thank God.

Touchstone

‘Thank God;’ a good answer. Art rich?

William

Faith, sir, so so.

Touchstone

‘So so’ is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?

William

Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.

Touchstone

Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a saying, ‘The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.’ The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?

William

I do, sir.

Touchstone

Give me your hand. Art thou learned?

William

No, sir.

Touchstone

Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he.

William

Which he, sir?

Touchstone

He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon,— which is in the vulgar leave,— the society,— which in the boorish is company,— of this female,— which in the common is woman; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o’errun thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways: therefore tremble and depart.

Audrey

Do, good William.

William

God rest you merry, sir.

Exit

Enter Corin

Corin

Our master and mistress seeks you; come, away, away!

Touchstone

Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend.

Exeunt

S
CENE
II. T
HE
FOREST
.

Enter Orlando and Oliver

Orlando

Is’t possible that on so little acquaintance you should like her? that but seeing you should love her? and loving woo? and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persever to enjoy her?

Oliver

Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her that she loves me; consent with both that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good; for my father’s house and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland’s will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.

Orlando

You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke and all’s contented followers. Go you and prepare Aliena; for look you, here comes my Rosalind.

Enter Rosalind

Rosalind

God save you, brother.

Oliver

And you, fair sister.

Exit

Rosalind

O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf!

Orlando

It is my arm.

Rosalind

I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion.

Orlando

Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.

Rosalind

Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon when he showed me your handkerchief?

Orlando

Ay, and greater wonders than that.

Rosalind

O, I know where you are: nay, ’tis true: there was never any thing so sudden but the fight of two rams and Caesar’s thrasonical brag of ‘I came, saw, and overcame:’ for your brother and my sister no sooner met but they looked, no sooner looked but they loved, no sooner loved but they sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy; and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love and they will together; clubs cannot part them.

Orlando

They shall be married to-morrow, and I will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy in having what he wishes for.

Rosalind

Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind?

Orlando

I can live no longer by thinking.

Rosalind

I will weary you then no longer with idle talking. Know of me then, for now I speak to some purpose, that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit: I speak not this that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch I say I know you are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself good and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things: I have, since I was three year old, conversed with a magician, most profound in his art and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her: I know into what straits of fortune she is driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes tomorrow human as she is and without any danger.

Orlando

Speakest thou in sober meanings?

Rosalind

By my life, I do; which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician. Therefore, put you in your best array: bid your friends; for if you will be married to-morrow, you shall, and to Rosalind, if you will.

Enter Silvius and Phebe

Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of hers.

Phebe

Youth, you have done me much ungentleness,
To show the letter that I writ to you.

Rosalind

I care not if I have: it is my study
To seem despiteful and ungentle to you:
You are there followed by a faithful shepherd;
Look upon him, love him; he worships you.

Phebe

Good shepherd, tell this youth what ’tis to love.

Silvius

It is to be all made of sighs and tears;
And so am I for Phebe.

Phebe

And I for Ganymede.

Orlando

And I for Rosalind.

Rosalind

And I for no woman.

Silvius

It is to be all made of faith and service;
And so am I for Phebe.

Phebe

And I for Ganymede.

Orlando

And I for Rosalind.

Rosalind

And I for no woman.

Silvius

It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion and all made of wishes,
All adoration, duty, and observance,
All humbleness, all patience and impatience,
All purity, all trial, all observance;
And so am I for Phebe.

Phebe

And so am I for Ganymede.

Orlando

And so am I for Rosalind.

Rosalind

And so am I for no woman.

Phebe

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

Silvius

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

Orlando

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

Rosalind

Who do you speak to, ‘Why blame you me to love you?’

Orlando

To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.

Rosalind

Pray you, no more of this; ’tis like the howling of Irish wolves against the moon.
 
[To Silvius]
 
I will help you, if I can.
 
[To Phebe]
 
I would love you, if I could. To-morrow meet me all together.
 
[To Phebe]
 
I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I’ll be married to-morrow.
 
[To Orlando]
 
I will satisfy you, if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow.
 
[To Silvius]
 
I will content you, if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow.
 
[To Orlando]
 
As you love Rosalind, meet.
 
[To Silvius]
 
as you love Phebe, meet. And as I love no woman, I’ll meet. So fare you well. I have left you commands.

Silvius

I’ll not fail, if I live.

Phebe

Nor I.

Orlando

Nor I.

Exeunt

S
CENE
III. T
HE
FOREST
.

Enter Touchstone and Audrey

Touchstone

To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey; to-morrow will we be married.

Audrey

I do desire it with all my heart; and I hope it is no dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world. Here comes two of the banished duke’s pages.