Complete Poems and Plays (89 page)

Oh, I’m sorry …

E
GGERSON
.
                Don’t be sorry: I’m delighted.

And by the way, a practical point:

If you took the position, you’d want to find your feet

In Joshua Park, before you settled on lodgings;

We have a spare room. We should be most happy

If you cared to stop with us, until you were settled.

C
OLBY
.
I’d be very glad indeed — if Mrs. Eggerson approved.

E
GGERSON
.
There’ll be no one so pleased as Mrs. E.;

Of that I can assure you.

M
RS
. G
UZZARD
.
                    Mr. Eggerson,

I cannot see eye to eye with you,

Having been, myself, the wife of an organist;

But you too, I think, have had a wish realised.

— I believe that this interview can now be terminated.

If you will excuse me, Sir Claude …

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
                                          Excuse you? Yes.

M
RS.
G
UZZARD
.
I shall return to Teddington. Colby,

Will you get me a taxi to go to Waterloo?

C
OLBY
.
Get you a taxi? Yes, Aunt Sarah;

But I should see you home.

M
RS.
G
UZZARD
.
                         Home? Only to a taxi.

Do you mind if I take my leave, Sir Claude?

I’m no longer needed here.

[
Exit
C
OLBY
]

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
                               Mind? What do I mind?

M
RS.
G
UZZARD
.
Then I will say goodbye. You have all had your wish

In one form or another. You and I, Sir Claude,

Had
our
wishes twenty-five years ago;

But we failed to observe, when we had our wishes,

That there was a time-limit clause in the contract.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
What’s that? Oh. Good-bye, Mrs. Guzzard.

[
Exit
M
RS
. G
UZZARD
]

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
What’s happened? Have they gone? Is Colby coming back?

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
My poor Claude!

[L
UCASTA
crosses
to
S
IR
C
LAUDE
and
kneels
beside
him
]

K
AGHAN
.
You know, Claude, I think we all made the same mistake —

All except Eggers …

E
GGERSON
.
                     Me, Mr. Kaghan?

K
AGHAN
.
We wanted Colby to be something he wasn’t.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
I suppose that’s true of you and me, Claude.

Between not knowing what other people want of one,

And not knowing what one should ask of other people,

One does make mistakes! But I mean to do better.

Claude, we’ve got to try to understand our children.

K
AGHAN
.
And we should like to understand
you
…

I mean, I’m including both of you,

Claude … and Aunt Elizabeth.

You know, Claude, both Lucasta and I

Would like to mean something to you … if you’d let us;

And we’d take the responsibility of meaning it.

[L
UCASTA
puts
her
arms
around
S
IR
C
LAUDE
]

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Don’t leave me, Lucasta.

Eggerson! Do
you
really believe her?

[E
GGERSON
nods
]

CURTAIN

TO MY WIFE

 

 

To whom I owe the leaping delight

That quickens my senses in our wakingtime

And the rhythm that governs the repose of our sleepingtime,

The breathing in unison

 

 

Of lovers …

Who think the same thoughts without need of speech

And babble the same speech without need of meaning:

 

 

To you I dedicate this book, to return as best I can

With words a little part of what you have given me.

The words mean what they say, but some have a further meaning

For you and me only.

[
Voices
in
the
hall
]

C
HARLES
.
Is your father at home to-day?

M
ONICA
.
                                                  You’ll see him at tea.

C
HARLES
.
But if I’m not going to have you to myself

There’s really no point in my staying to tea.

[
Enter
M
ONICA
and
C
HARLE
s
carrying
parcels
]

M
ONICA
.
But you
must
stay to tea. That was understood

When you said you could give me the whole afternoon.

C
HARLES
.
But I couldn’t say what I wanted to say to you

Over luncheon …

M
ONICA
.
                   That’s your own fault.

You should have taken me to some other restaurant

Instead of to one where the
maître
d’hôtel

And the waiters all seem to be your intimate friends.

C
HARLES
.
It’s the only place where I’m really well known

And get well served. And when
you’re
with me

It must be a perfect lunch.

M
ONICA
.
                                It was a perfect lunch.

But I know what men are — they like to show off.

That’s masculine vanity, to want to have the waiters

All buzzing round you: and it reminds the girl

That she’s not the only one who’s been there with him.

C
HARLES
.
Well, tease me if you like. But a man does feel a fool

If he takes you to a place where he’s utterly unknown

And the waiters all appear to be avoiding his eye.

M
ONICA
.
We’re getting off the point …

C
HARLES
.
                                                   You’ve got me off
my
point …

I was trying to explain …

M
ONICA
.
                                It’s simply the question

Of your staying to tea. As you practically promised.

C
HARLES
.
What you don’t understand is that I have a grievance.

On Monday you’re leaving London, with your father:

I arranged to be free for the whole afternoon

On the plain understanding …

M
ONICA
.
                                       That you should stop to tea.

C
HARLES
.
When I said that I was free for the whole afternoon,

That meant you were to give
me
the whole afternoon.

I couldn’t say what I wanted to, in a restaurant;

And then you took me on a shopping expedition …

M
ONICA
.
If you don’t like shopping with me …

C
HARLES
.
                                                                Of course I like shopping with you.

But how can one
talk
on a shopping expedition —

Except to guess what you want to buy

And advise you to buy it.

M
ONICA
.
                               But why not stop to tea?

C
HARLES
.
Very well then, I will stop to tea,

But you know I won’t get a chance to talk to you.

You know that. Now that your father’s retired

He’s at home every day. And you’re leaving London.

And because your father simply can’t bear it

That any man but he should have you to himself,

Before I’ve said two words he’ll come ambling in …

M
ONICA
.
You’ve said a good deal more than two words already.

And besides, my father doesn’t amble.

You’re not at all respectful.

C
HARLES
.
                                  I try to be respectful;

But you know that I shan’t have a minute alone with you.

M
ONICA
.
You’ve already had several minutes alone with me

Which you’ve wasted in wrangling. But seriously, Charles,

Father’s sure to be buried in the library

And he won’t think of leaving it until he’s called for tea.

So why not talk now? Though I know very well

What it is you want to say. I’ve heard it all before.

C
HARLES
.
And you’ll hear it again. You think I’m going to tell you

Once more, that I’m in love with you. Well, you’re right.

But I’ve something else to say that I haven’t said before,

That will give you a shock. I believe
you
love
me.

M
ONICA
.
Oh, what a dominating man you are!

Really, you must imagine you’re a hypnotist.

C
HARLES
.
Is this a time to torment me? But I’m selfish

In saying that, because I think —

I think you’re tormenting yourself as well.

M
ONICA
.
You’re right. I am. Because
I am
in love with you.

C
HARLES
.
So I was right! The moment I’d said it

I was badly frightened. For I didn’t
know
you loved me —

I merely wanted to believe it. And I’ve made you say so!

But now that you’ve said so, you must say it again,

For I need so much assurance! Are you sure you’re not mistaken?

M
ONICA
.
How did this come, Charles? It crept so softly

On silent feet, and stood behind my back

Quietly, a long time, a long long time

Before I felt its presence.

C
HARLES
.
                              Your words seem to come

From very far away. Yet very near. You are changing me

And I am changing you.

M
ONICA
.
                              Already

How much of me is you?

C
HARLES
.
                             And how much of me is you?

I’m not the same person as a moment ago.

What do the words mean now —
I
and
you
?

M
ONICA
.
In our private world — now we have our private world —

The meanings are different. Look! We’re back in the room

That we entered only a few minutes ago.

Here’s an armchair, there’s the table;

There’s the door … and I hear someone coming:

It’s Lambert with the tea …

[
Enter
L
AMBERT
with
troll
ey
]

and I shall say, ‘Lambert,

Please let his lordship know that tea is waiting’.

L
AMBERT
.
Yes, Miss Monica.

M
ONICA
.
                                     I’m very glad, Charles,

That you
can
stay to tea.

[
Exit
L
AMBERT
]

— Now we’re in the public world.

C
HARLES
.
And your father will come. With his calm possessive air

And his kindly welcome, which is always a reminder

That I mustn’t stay too long, for you belong to him.

He seems so placidly to take it for granted

That you don’t really care for any company but his!

M
ONICA
.
You’re not to assume that anything I’ve said to you

Has given you the right to criticise my father.

In the first place, you don’t understand him;

In the second place, we’re not engaged yet.

C
HARLES
.
Aren’t we? We’re agreed that we’re in love with each other,

And, there being no legal impediment

Isn’t that enough to constitute an engagement?

Aren’t you sure that you want to marry me?

M
ONICA
.
Yes, Charles. I’m sure that I want to marry you

When I’m free to do so. But by that time

You may have changed your mind. Such things have happened.

C
HARLES
.
That won’t happen to me.

[
Knock.
Enter
L
AMBERT
]

L
AMBERT
.
Excuse me, Miss Monica. His Lordship said to tell you

Not to wait tea for him.

M
ONICA
.
                              Thank you, Lambert.

L
AMBERT
.
He’s busy at the moment. But he won’t be very long.

[
Exit
]

C
HARLES
.
Don’t you understand that you’re torturing me?

How long will you be imprisoned, alone with your father

In that very expensive hotel for convalescents

To which you’re taking him? And what after that?

M
ONICA
.
There are several good reasons why I should go with him.

C
HARLES
.
Better reasons than for marrying me?

What reasons?

M
ONICA
.
               First, his terror of being alone.

In the life he’s led, he’s never had to be alone.

And when he’s been at home in the evening,

Even when he’s reading, or busy with his papers

He needs to have someone else in the room with him,

Reading too — or just sitting — someone

Not occupied with anything that can’t be interrupted.

Someone to make a remark to now and then.

And mostly it’s been me.

C
HARLES
.
                              I know it’s been you.

It’s a pity that you haven’t had brothers and sisters

To share the burden. Sisters, I should say,

For your brother’s never been of any use to you.

M
ONICA
.
And never will be of any use to anybody,