Complete Works of James Joyce (306 page)

ROBERT

That I have a deep liking for you.

(A short pause. The piano is heard faintly from the upper room.)

ROBERT

(Takes the bunch of roses from the chair.)
I brought these for you. Will you take them from me?

BERTHA

(Taking them.)
Thank you.
(She lays them on the table and unfolds the paper again.)
Why did you not dare to say it last night?

ROBERT

I could not speak to you or follow you. There were too many people on the lawn. I wanted you to think over it and so I put it into your hand when you were going away.

BERTHA

Now you have dared to say it.

ROBERT

(Moves his hand slowly past his eyes.)
You passed. The avenue was dim with dusky light. I could see the dark green masses of the trees. And you passed beyond them. You were like the moon.

BERTHA

(Laughs.)
Why like the moon?

ROBERT

In that dress, with your slim body, walking with little even steps. I saw the moon passing in the dusk till you passed and left my sight.

546

BERTHA

Did you think of me last night?

ROBERT

(Comes nearer.)
I think of you always — as something beautiful and distant — the moon or some deep music.

BERTHA

(Smiling.)
And last night which was I?

ROBERT

I was awake half the night. I could hear your voice. I could see your face in the dark. Your eyes... I want to speak to you. Will you listen to me? May I speak?

BERTHA

(Sitting down.)
You may.

ROBERT

(Sitting beside her.)
Are you annoyed with me?

BERTHA

No.

ROBERT

I thought you were. You put away my poor flowers so quickly.

BERTHA

(Takes them from the table and holds them close to her face.)
Is this what you wish me to do with them?

ROBERT

(Watching her.)
Your face is a flower too — but more beautiful. A wild flower blowing in a hedge.
(Moving his chair closer to her.)
Why are you smiling? At my words?

BERTHA

(Laying the flowers in her lap.)
I am wondering if that is what you say — to the others.

ROBERT

(Surprised.)
What others?

BERTHA

The other women. I hear you have so many admirers.

ROBERT

(Involuntarily.)
And that is why you too...?

BERTHA

But you have, haven’t you?

ROBERT

Friends, yes.

BERTHA

Do you speak to them in the same way?

ROBERT

(In an offended tone.)
How can you ask me such a question? What kind of person do you think I am? Or why do you listen to me? Did you not like me to speak to you in that way?

547

BERTHA

What you said was very kind.
(She looks at him for a moment.)
Thank you for saying it — and thinking it.

ROBERT

(Leaning forward.)
Bertha!

BERTHA

Yes?

ROBERT

I have the right to call you by your name. From old times — nine years ago. We were Bertha — and Robert — then. Can we not be so now, too?

BERTHA

(Readily.)
O yes. Why should we not?

ROBERT

Bertha, you knew. From the very night you landed on Kingstown pier. It all came back to me then. And you knew it. You saw it.

BERTHA

No. Not that night.

ROBERT

When?

BERTHA

The night we landed I felt very tired and dirty.
(Shaking her head.)
I did not see it in you that night.

ROBERT

(Smiling.)
Tell me what did you see that night — your very first impression.

BERTHA

(Knitting her brows.)
You were standing with your back to the gangway, talking to two ladies.

ROBERT

To two plain middleaged ladies, yes.

BERTHA

I recognized you at once. And I saw that you had got fat.

ROBERT

(Takes her hand.)
And this poor fat Robert — do you dislike him then so much? Do you disbelieve all he says?

BERTHA

I think men speak like that to all women whom they like or admire. What do you want me to believe?

ROBERT

All men, Bertha?

BERTHA

(With sudden sadness.)
I think so.

ROBERT

I too?

BERTHA

Yes, Robert. I think you too.

ROBERT

All then — without exception? Or with one exception?
(In a lower tone.)
Or is he too — Richard too — like us all — in that at least? Or different?

548

BERTHA

(Looks into his eyes.)
Different.

ROBERT

Are you quite sure, Bertha?

BERTHA

(A little confused, tries to withdraw her hand.)
I have answered you.

ROBERT

(Suddenly.)
Bertha, may I kiss your hand? Let me. May I?

BERTHA

If you wish.

(He lifts her hand to his lips slowly. She rises suddenly. and listens.)

BERTHA

Did you hear the garden gate?

ROBERT

(Rising also.)
No.

(A short pause. The piano can be heard faintly from the upper room.)

ROBERT

(Pleading.)
Do not go away. You must never go away now. Your life is here. I came for that too today — to speak to him — to urge him to accept this position. He must. And you must persuade him to. You have a great influence over him.

BERTHA

You want him to remain here.

ROBERT

Yes.

BERTHA

Why?

ROBERT

For your sake because you are unhappy so far away. For his sake too because he should think of his future.

BERTHA

(Laughing.)
Do you remember what he said when you spoke to him last night?

ROBERT

About...?
(Reflecting.)
Yes. He quoted the
Our Father
about our daily bread. He said that to take care for the future is to destroy hope and love in the world.

BERTHA

Do you not think he is strange?

ROBERT

In that, yes.

BERTHA

A little — mad?

549

ROBERT

(Comes closer.)
No. He is not. Perhaps we are. Why, do you...?

BERTHA

(Laughs.)
I ask you because you are intelligent.

ROBERT

You must not go away. I will not let you.

BERTHA

(Looks full at him.)
You?

ROBERT

Those eyes must not go away.
(He takes her hands.)
May I kiss your eyes?

BERTHA

Do so.
(He kisses her eyes and then passes his hand over her hair.)

ROBERT

Little Bertha!

BERTHA

(Smiling.)
But I am not so little. Why do you call me little?

ROBERT

Little Bertha! One embrace?
(He puts his arm around her.)
Look into my eyes again.

BERTHA

(Looks.)
I can see the little gold spots. So many you have.

ROBERT

(Delighted.)
Your voice! Give me a kiss, a kiss with your mouth.

BERTHA

Take it.

ROBERT

I am afraid.
(He kisses her mouth and passes his hand many times over her hair.)
At last I hold you in my arms!

BERTHA

And are you satisfied?

ROBERT

Let me feel your lips touch mine.

BERTHA

And then you will be satisfied?

ROBERT

(Murmurs.)
Your lips, Bertha!

BERTHA

(Closes her eyes and kisses him quickly.)
There.
(Puts her hands on his shoulders.)
Why don’t you say: thanks?

ROBERT

(Sighs.)
My life is finished — over.

BERTHA

O, don’t speak like that now, Robert.

ROBERT

Over, over. I want to end it and have done with it.

550

BERTHA

(Concerned but lightly.)
You silly fellow!

ROBERT

(Presses her to him.)
To end it all — death. To fall from a great high cliff, down, right down into the sea.

BERTHA

Please, Robert...

ROBERT

Listening to music and in the arms of the woman I love — the sea, music and death.

BERTHA

(Looks at him for a moment.)
The woman you love?

ROBERT

(Hurriedly.)
I want to speak to you, Bertha — alone — not here. Will you come?