Complete Works of Wilkie Collins (2146 page)

Thus, with study for the mind and suffering for the body, ended for my father “the old year.” As the new one opened, another consequence of his complaint (secretly dreaded by all his medical attendants as the worst) gradually became apparent. This was the commencement of dropsical enlargement of the extremities. Under this fresh visitation of bodily calamity, the painter’s fortitude did not forsake him. While every one around him now began to despair, he alone was still cheerful, still determined to hope. The tone of his mind at this trying period, the chronicle of his painful but vigorous progress with his pictures, the readiness of his bright anticipations for the future, are all displayed with unwonted regularity and completeness in the pages of his last Journal, which it is now time to insert, and which will be found to present a more full and interesting record of his character than probably any of his former diaries have contained.

JOURNAL OF 1846.

“1846. — Pictures in hand: — No. 1. ‘Early Morning — Cromer;’ for Mr. Gillott. No. 2. ‘Hall Sands — Devon;’ for Mr. Sheepshanks. No. 3. ‘Mede-foot Bay — Torquay;’ for Mr. Ellison.

“January 6th. — Came down to my painting-room. Sat to Charley nearly all day, for a drawing of my head. 7th. — Endeavoured to make a beginning in earnest. Heaven grant me health to discharge the duties of my stewardship! Worked with many interruptions, this afternoon, upon a picture for Mr. Ellison; a scene in Mede-foot Bay, near Torquay, Devon. I had worked upon this picture about three short days, a month or so ago, when it was begun. 8th. — Sat to Charley, etc., read the paper, and went to work not much in the humour for it — for about an hour in the afternoon, upon Hall Sands. 9th. — Worked for about two hours, upon Hall Sands and Mede-foot, in the way of preparation for something, I hope in earnest. 10th. — Did not succeed in getting to work until one o’clock, not having passed a good night. Mr. — - staying late last night, till half-past eleven too much excitement for my present weak state. Painted about a couple of hours, upon Mr. Ellison’s picture, 11th. Still too ill to venture out of doors; and, sad to say, still unable to go to church. Since October, at Torquay, I have never been inside a church. The Lord have mercy upon me! 12th. — Little work again to-day, too weak in body and mind to go to work, as Johnson says, ‘doggedly.’ Painted about two hours in the afternoon, upon Mr. Ellison’s picture of Mede-foot. 13th. — In much pain and great oppression in breathing. Worked upon Mede-foot, rather more than three hours. 14th. — Painted upon Mede-foot, about three hours. Mr. Gibbons mentioned to me to-day a droll subject, and one very difficult to express, which Biard, the French artist, is painting for him. It is a blind fiddler, playing with all his energy to a parrot, whose voice he mistakes for that of a human being. His dog, better informed, is tugging at his master to get him away from such unprofitable labour. 15th. — Saw two very agreeable visitors, Mr. John Gibbons, and Dr. West. The former brought a most interesting picture, by the French painter, Biard, rather larger and more square than a ‘kit- cat.’ The subject is the youth-time of Linnaeus. He is represented with a flower in his hand, from which he is raising his eyes to Heaven, in reverent admiration of the wonders of Creation. Beside him, is an elderly person, looking like his instructor, examining a flower through a glass, intent upon his study. A tin case with gathered flowers, and the large leaves of the water-lily, are strewed on the ground, with various nets for moths, etc., forming the foreground objects. The scene, a solitary wood, with a brook and an unfrequented path, leading through it — the trees, as well as the figures, drawn with great excellence, taste, and truth — the hands, and all the accessories, most carefully and truthfully designed and executed. With all these great charms, the picture wants force and effect; the colour is clayey and cold; and all the objects, from the foreground to the extreme distance, are too much
‘niggled’
— no subordination of parts, and no
chiaroscuro
— the consequence of which is, that the picture has nothing at a distance to entice the eye to look into its really beautiful details. It is by no means a
whole.
Its price is so small, that it is surprising how the painter lives by his pursuit. Only guineas to be paid for it by Mr. Gibbons.

“With these pleasant interruptions, and after a feverish night, I did not work quite two hours upon Mede-foot. Dr. West does not think me so well as when he last saw me. Passed a restless night, in great measure owing to the necessity of taking calomel; and this morning (16th) breakfasted in bed, dined before two, and found myself too much unhinged to paint at all — my breathing much distressed. 17th — Thank Heaven, a good night — my breathing still bad — about two hours’ work upon Mr. Ellison’s picture. 19th. — ’Out of sorts’ is the best excuse, bad as it is, that I can offer for having spent the day in reading the paper, etc., and preparing and making experiments for taking up, with what vigour I have, the finishing of Mr. Ellison’s picture. My breathing bad — the Doctor says my liver will not be right, till I can get out; and to get out, in my case, requires summer weather — Patience! Patience! 20th — A beautiful sunshiny day; a complete day’s work perfectly uninterrupted — painted my sky in Medefoot, at once — very close and hard day’s work — about five hours the whole time and attention devoted to the subject. 21st. — Feverish, bad night: got to work, notwithstanding, upon Mede-foot — worked very hard, for two hours and a half; did a great deal. 22nd. — Passed rather a better night had great enjoyment in working with much vigour, and getting over a good deal of ground in two hours and a half, spent upon Mr. Ellison’s picture. 23rd. — Mr. Gillott called — likes his picture much — worked about two hours and a half upon Mr. Ellison’s picture. 24th. — Much jaded to-day, from a disturbed night, arising from the necessity of sitting up much in the night, owing to great difficulty in breathing. When I did get to work, interrupted by persons I was obliged to see. Only about one hour’s work done to Mr. Ellison’s picture. Yesterday and to-day, a letter each from Mr. Bullar and his son, Dr. Joseph Bullar, to Charley, with their most gratifying commendations upon the drawing of the three children of Mrs. John Bullar. Their hopes respecting his moral and religious duties and privileges, I most sincerely thank them for. God grant he may always ‘first seek the kingdom of heaven and its righteousness;’ the rest, by God’s blessing and gift, will surely follow. I most fully and sincerely believe that, if this boy does justice to the genius with which he is endowed, and with the blessing of health — which most fervently I pray the Giver of all good to bestow upon him he will, with his tact and taste, produce most satisfactory and popular works. 25th. — Dear Charley’s birthday. God be praised for having brought him to this his eighteenth birthday. I have only one thing to pray for, respecting him; that the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ will give him the true riches, preserving in him and daily renewing to him, that Holy Spirit bestowed upon him in his regeneration, at his baptism. Lord remember us, when thou comest in thy glory!

“26th. — Interrupted by various visitors, on business or otherwise; no painting done at all this day. 27th. — A very hard and very pleasant day’s work upon Mr. Sheepshanks’ picture of ‘Hall Sands.’ The sky and extreme distance finished three hours’ work. 28th. — Painted from a model, on the child in Mr. Ellison’s picture — four hours; tired; ill. 29th. — Painted the old woman and part of the foreground, in Mr. Sheepshanks’ picture — three hours and a-half. 30th. — Painted on ‘Mede-foot’ about four hours; some part of the time making sketches from the model, for this and other pictures. 31st. — Completely done up by the time I went to bed. The impossibility of keeping off stragglers and kind friends, who are certain to come one after another, or at the same time, and who must be seen, is something that must be arranged in a better way, to keep me quiet. Wretched night, and to-day little better. Tried to paint, but interrupted; did not work half an hour. February 1st. — Poorly; lethargic. 2nd. — My breathing very bad during the night. So worn out during this day, my breathing continuing exceedingly difficult, that I was unfitted for work the whole day. 3rd. — Still bad nights, and difficult breathing. Painted from a boy, two studies for heads, in the pictures intended for this year’s Exhibition. Worked about four hours. 4th. — Taken out in Mr. Richardson’s carriage, for the first time since the beginning of December, a ride of nearly two hours; I think I am the better for it. Found bores, in the shape of morning callers, when I returned. How many idlers I know! Did no painting this day. 5th. — Restless night; breathing very heavy. Painted, notwithstanding, from a dog I had ordered, about three hours and a-half. Had he not been ordered to wait upon me, his portrait would have gone undone. Mr. Gillott called. 7th. — Painted about three hours on ‘Hall Sands;’ did a good deal in the time, as I generally do now I work so short a portion of the day. 9th. — Visitors, and the consequences — no work. Nerves cut to pieces; breathing bad. 10th. — Last night a bad one, little sleep; great weakness; starved with cold, the thermometer being 29 deg. out of my dressing-room window. Painted rather more than three hours on the large picture of ‘Cromer Sands.’ 11th. — Little sleep, consequently worse this morning. Many people called; amongst them, Mr. Ellison, who expressed himself perfectly gratified to possess the picture I am painting for him. Painted on ‘Early Morning’ about two hours. Perfectly done up. 12th. — Bad night. Head bad when I got up; better about twelve. Consultation between Mr. Richardson and Dr. West; to be more physicked! Painted with vigour rather more than three hours, upon ‘Early Morning,’ Mr. Joseph Gillott’s picture; nearly finished. 13th. — Bad night again. Painted on ‘Early Morning’ and on ‘Hall Sands’ together, about two hours and a half. 14th. — Passed one of the worst nights I have had for some time perhaps not two hours’ sleep
altogether;
nerves, especially of the stomach, apparently alive; breathing so difficult that I could not lie down five minutes together. I think the physic the principal cause: I have been drenched with drugs; they must be left off. I suppose I did not paint this day. The painting done from Monday to Thursday, owing to the state of my health, not much — principally, if not entirely, upon a picture begun many years since, of a scene at Boulogne, with a loitering Boy getting a Scolding. I have added a principal figure; but as I think I am not equal to finishing this picture, in addition to those in hand for the ensuing Exhibition, I must be content to try a smaller one, should the three others be finished in time. 21st. — Legs much swelled; breathing very bad; painted, in consequence, only about two hours; intended to have had a good hard day’s work. Painted upon ‘Hall Sands,’ and upon a little picture for Mr. Gillott, which, should I be enabled, I hope to get ready for the ensuing Exhibition. Mr. Sheepshanks called, and with his characteristic generosity and kindly feeling, brought his cheque-book, and tried hard to persuade me to allow him to pay me something (a hundred guineas) for the picture I am painting for him. I saw he thought it might be useful. 23rd. — Forgotten; but I think I painted two or three hours on ‘Hall Sands.’ 25th. — Bad night. Worked hard on the corner rocks of ‘Mede-foot’ three hours. 28th. — Notwithstanding an opiate, a most disturbed night; very ill to-day; went for a drive. Perfect summer weather. Painted with much inconvenience from distressed breathing, little more than an hour. Leslie called; the toned picture did not seem to impress him so much as the others. March 2nd. — Weak and drowsy. With many rests, painted about three hours and a half on ‘Mede-foot.’ 3rd. — Almost the worst night I have had; the breathing so difficult, that I was obliged to have the bed made on the sloping chair, at three o’clock in the morning. Nerves all alive. Wheezing all day. Painted with much effort on ‘Mede-foot’ for three hours. Doctor Chambers called last night; he does not think the heart worse: agrees with Mr. Richardson’s mode of treatment; wrote a prescription, and proposed calling again on Monday next, to see how things progress. 4th. — Bad night, as usual; almost worn out. Painted two hours on ‘Hall Sands,’ and one hour upon my new subject, ‘Shrimpers hastening Home.’ 5th. — I am so ill to-day, that Mr. Richardson says sleep
must
be had, if possible. I am to take a strong dose of Battley’s Drops, with this view, to-night. Painted on ‘The Shrimpers’ about three hours; the sky entirely. 6th. — Took my dose of Battley, and, Heaven be praised, had a most excellent night, such an one as I have not had for many months; calm and collected all day, and feeling quite another person. Painted distant cliff and sea, as well as the Beach to the left of the figures — worked about three hours and a half. 7th. — Nearly as good a night as Thursday; but, having more cough, sleep not quite so sound. Painted the girl’s face in ‘The Shrimpers’ worked about two hours and a half. Much troubled by callers, in the middle of the day. After sending Harriet to keep off one, whom I knew to be a long sitter; another came, with whom I wished much to talk and explain a matter of business, but the long-winded one would not
‘budge,’
as the Americans say: but literally saw the other to the door, fairly saw him out! and so spoiled the plan I had devised for seeing the person I wanted to see; and all this without, I do believe, ever thinking himself the least of a bore. 9th. — Suffering much from headache, general sense of fulness, and difficult breathing, all day — much broken in upon, besides: to complete my misfortunes, no painting whatever done. Dr. Chambers came, as agreed, to-day — cheerful about my case; never very gloomy about the heart. 20th. — Pretty good night: headache came on early in the day, however — became very bad towards the latter part of the day; was obliged to give up painting, after about half an hours’ work, on ‘Mede-foot.’ Mr. Ellison, with his friend Mr. Frankum, came to see his picture — seems more pleased, if possible, than before. 21st. — Altogether forgotten; very ill. 25th. — Better night; breathing still bad; cough almost all day: painted on ‘Shrimpers’ about two hours; very unfit for painting — dead beat. 27th and 28th. — Not equal to do any painting — the little that remains to be done to the four pictures I am preparing for the Exhibition, must be done with more power than I happen just now to possess. My weakness, after my recent attack of influenza, added to my usual maladies, puts painting out of the question for a day or two, at the least. Mr. Gillott called to pay me for his two pictures, and expressed himself in high terms of both. Whilst he was here, Mr. Richard Ellison called, also, for the purpose of paying for his, and expressed himself quite as warmly in praise of the picture of ‘Mede-foot,’ as did Mr. Gillott for
his
pictures so that the four works are all paid for, (Mr. Sheepshanks having insisted, a few days ago, upon paying for ‘Hall Sands’) before they are entirely finished. April 3rd. — Except a very few touches yesterday, I have been too ill to paint since the last entry. My legs continue to be much swelled, no effect is produced by any medicine; I am indebted for what sleep I get, to Battley’s Drops. I wait God’s own good time, putting all my trust in that mercy which endureth for ever. April 4th and 6th. — The days appointed for my private view of my pictures (four) prepared for the Exhibition. They seem to have given much satisfaction; indeed surprise — considering the known bad condition of my health. Harriet, the boys, and Miss Musgrave, had the office of showing them, while I was shut up in the dining-room, seeing nobody.