Complete Works of Wilkie Collins (2331 page)

The friendly enterprise was carried to the close with a vigour, promptitude, and success, that well corresponded with this opening. In addition to the performances named, there were others in the country also organized by Dickens, in which he took active personal part; and the result did not fall short of his expectations. The sum was invested ultimately for our friend’s unmarried daughter, who still receives the income from myself, the last surviving trustee.

So passed the greater part of the summer,
and when the country performances were over at the end of August I had this intimation. “I have arranged with Collins that he and I will start next Monday on a ten or twelve days’ expedition to out-of-the-way places, to do (in inns and coast-corners) a little tour in search of an article and in avoidance of railroads. I must get a good name for it, and I propose it in five articles, one for the beginning of every number in the October part.” Next day: “Our decision is for a foray upon the fells of Cumberland; I having discovered in the books some promising moors and bleak places thereabout.” Into the lake-country they went accordingly; and The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices, contributed to
Household Words
, was a narrative of the trip. But his letters had descriptive touches, and some whimsical personal experiences, not in the published account.

Looking over the
Beauties of England and Wales
before he left London, his ambition was fired by mention of Carrick Fell, “a gloomy old mountain 1500 feet high,” which he secretly resolved to go up. “We came straight to it yesterday” (9th of September). “Nobody goes up. Guides have forgotten it. Master of a little inn, excellent north-countryman, volunteered. Went up, in a tremendous rain. C. D. beat Mr. Porter (name of landlord) in half a mile. Mr. P. done up in no time. Three nevertheless went on. Mr. P. again leading; C. D. and C.” (Mr. Wilkie Collins) “following. Rain terrific, black mists, darkness of night. Mr. P. agitated. C. D. confident. C. (a long way down in perspective) submissive. All wet through. No poles. Not so much as a walking-stick in the party. Reach the summit, at about one in the day. Dead darkness as of night. Mr. P. (excellent fellow to the last) uneasy. C. D. produces compass from pocket. Mr. P. reassured. Farm-house where dog-cart was left, N.N.W. Mr. P. complimentary. Descent commenced. C. D. with compass triumphant, until compass, with the heat and wet of C. D.’s pocket, breaks. Mr. P. (who never had a compass), inconsolable, confesses he has not been on Carrick Fell for twenty years, and he don’t know the way down. Darker and darker. Nobody discernible, two yards off, by the other two. Mr. P. makes suggestions, but no way. It becomes clear to C. D. and to C. that Mr. P. is going round and round the mountain, and never coming down. Mr. P. sits on angular granite, and says he is ‘just fairly doon.’ C. D. revives Mr. P. with laughter, the only restorative in the company. Mr. P. again complimentary. Descent tried once more. Mr. P. worse and worse. Council of war. Proposals from C. D. to go ‘slap down.’ Seconded by C. Mr. P. objects, on account of precipice called The Black Arches, and terror of the country-side. More wandering. Mr. P. terror-stricken, but game. Watercourse, thundering and roaring, reached. C. D. suggests that it must run to the river, and had best be followed, subject to all gymnastic hazards. Mr. P. opposes, but gives in. Watercourse followed accordingly. Leaps, splashes, and tumbles, for two hours. C. lost. C. D. whoops. Cries for assistance from behind. C. D. returns. C. with horribly sprained ankle, lying in rivulet!”

All the danger was over when Dickens sent his description; but great had been the trouble in binding up the sufferer’s ankle and getting him painfully on, shoving, shouldering, carrying alternately, till terra firma was reached. “We got down at last in the wildest place, preposterously out of the course; and, propping up C. against stones, sent Mr. P. to the other side of Cumberland for dog-cart, so got back to his inn, and changed. Shoe or stocking on the bad foot, out of the question. Foot tumbled up in a flannel waistcoat. C. D. carrying C. melo-dramatically (Wardour to the life!)
everywhere; into and out of carriages; up and down stairs; to bed; every step. And so to Wigton, got doctor, and here we are!! A pretty business, we flatter ourselves!”

Wigton, Dickens described as a place of little houses all in half-mourning, yellow stone or white stone and black, with the wonderful peculiarity that though it had no population, no business, and no streets to speak of, it had five linendrapers within range of their single window, one linendraper’s next door, and five more linendrapers round the corner. “I ordered a night light in my bed-room. A queer little old woman brought me one of the common Child’s night lights, and, seeming to think that I looked at it with interest, said, ‘It’s joost a vara keeyourious thing, sir, and joost new coom oop. It’ll burn awt hoors a’ end, and no gootther, nor no waste, nor ony sike a thing, if you can creedit what I say, seein’ the airticle.’“ In these primitive quarters there befell a difficulty about letters, which Dickens solved in a fashion especially his own. “The day after Carrick there was a mess about our letters, through our not going to a place called Mayport. So, while the landlord was planning how to get them (they were only twelve miles off), I walked off, to his great astonishment, and brought them over.” The night after leaving Wigton they were at the Ship-hotel in Allonby.

Allonby his letters presented as a small untidy outlandish place; rough stone houses in half mourning, a few coarse yellow-stone lodging houses with black roofs (bills in all the windows), five bathing-machines, five girls in straw hats, five men in straw hats (wishing they had not come); very much what Broadstairs would have been if it had been born Irish, and had not inherited a cliff. “But this is a capital little homely inn, looking out upon the sea; with the coast of Scotland, mountainous and romantic, over against the windows; and though I can just stand upright in my bedroom, we are really well lodged. It is a clean nice place in a rough wild country, and we have a very obliging and comfortable landlady.” He had found indeed, in the latter, an acquaintance of old date. “The landlady at the little inn at Allonby, lived at Greta-Bridge in Yorkshire when I went down there before
Nickleby;
and was smuggled into the room to see me, after I was secretly found out. She is an immensely fat woman now. ‘But I could tuck my arm round her waist then, Mr. Dickens,’ the landlord said when she told me the story as I was going to bed the night before last. ‘And can’t you do it now?’ I said. ‘You insensible dog! Look at me! Here’s a picture!’ Accordingly I got round as much of her as I could; and this gallant action was the most successful I have ever performed, on the whole.”

On their way home the friends were at Doncaster, and this was Dickens’s first experience of the St. Leger and its saturnalia. His companion had by this time so far recovered as to be able, doubled-up, to walk with a thick stick; in which condition, “being exactly like the gouty admiral in a comedy I have given him that name.” The impressions received from the race-week were not favourable. It was noise and turmoil all day long, and a gathering of vagabonds from all parts of the racing earth. Every bad face that had ever caught wickedness from an innocent horse had its representative in the streets; and as Dickens, like Gulliver looking down upon his fellow-men after coming from the horse-country, looked down into Doncaster High-street from his inn-window, he seemed to see everywhere a then notorious personage who had just poisoned his betting-companion. “Everywhere I see the late Mr. Palmer with his betting-book in his hand. Mr. Palmer sits next me at the theatre; Mr. Palmer goes before me down the street; Mr. Palmer follows me into the chemist’s shop where I go to buy rose water after breakfast, and says to the chemist ‘Give us soom sal volatile or soom damned thing o’ that soort, in wather — my head’s bad!’ And I look at the back of his bad head repeated in long, long lines on the race course, and in the betting stand and outside the betting rooms in the town, and I vow to God that I can see nothing in it but cruelty, covetousness, calculation, insensibility, and low wickedness.”

Even a half-appalling kind of luck was not absent from my friend’s experiences at the race course, when, what he called a “wonderful, paralysing, coincidence” befell him. He bought the card; facetiously wrote down three names for the winners of the three chief races (never in his life having heard or thought of any of the horses, except that the winner of the Derby, who proved to be nowhere, had been mentioned to him); “and, if you can believe it without your hair standing on end, those three races were won, one after another, by those three horses!!!” That was the St. Leger-day, of which he also thought it noticeable, that, though the losses were enormous, nobody had won, for there was nothing but grinding of teeth and blaspheming of ill-luck. Nor had matters mended on the Cup-day, after which celebration “a groaning phantom” lay in the doorway of his bed-room and howled all night. The landlord came up in the morning to apologise, “and said it was a gentleman who had lost £1500 or £2000; and he had drunk a deal afterwards; and then they put him to bed, and then he — took the ‘orrors, and got up, and yelled till morning.”
Dickens might well believe, as he declared at the end of his letter, that if a boy with any good in him, but with a dawning propensity to sporting and betting, were but brought to the Doncaster races soon enough, it would cure him.

CHAPTER VII.

WHAT HAPPENED AT THIS TIME.

1857-1858.

Disappointments and Distastes — Compensations of Art — Misgivings — Restlessness and Impatience — Reply to a Remonstrance — Visions of Places to write Books in — Fruitless Aspirations — What lay behind — Sorrowful Convictions — No Desire for Immunity from Blame — Counteracting Influences weakened — Old Project revived — Disadvantages of Public Reading — Speech for Children’s Hospital — Unsolved Mysteries — Hospital described — Appeal for Sick Children — Reasons for and against Paid Readings — A Proposal from Mr. Beale — Question of the Plunge — Mr. Arthur Smith — Change in Home — Unwise Printed Statement — A “Violated Letter.”

An unsettled feeling greatly in excess of what was usual with Dickens, more or less observable since his first residence at Boulogne, became at this time almost habitual, and the satisfactions which home should have supplied, and which indeed were essential requirements of his nature, he had failed to find in his home. He had not the alternative that under this disappointment some can discover in what is called society. It did not suit him, and he set no store by it. No man was better fitted to adorn any circle he entered, but beyond that of friends and equals he rarely passed. He would take as much pains to keep out of the houses of the great as others take to get into them. Not always wisely, it may be admitted. Mere contempt for toadyism and flunkeyism was not at all times the prevailing motive with him which he supposed it to be. Beneath his horror of those vices of Englishmen in his own rank of life, there was a still stronger resentment at the social inequalities that engender them, of which he was not so conscious and to which he owned less freely. Not the less it served secretly to justify what he might otherwise have had no mind to. To say he was not a gentleman would be as true as to say he was not a writer; but if any one should assert his occasional preference for what was even beneath his level over that which was above it, this would be difficult of disproof. It was among those defects of temperament for which his early trials and his early successes were accountable in perhaps equal measure. He was sensitive in a passionate degree to praise and blame, which yet he made it for the most part a point of pride to assume indifference to; the inequalities of rank which he secretly resented took more galling as well as glaring prominence from the contrast of the necessities he had gone through with the fame that had come to him; and when the forces he most affected to despise assumed the form of barriers he could not easily overleap, he was led to appear frequently intolerant (for he very seldom was really so) in opinions and language. His early sufferings brought with them the healing powers of energy, will, and persistence, and taught him the inexpressible value of a determined resolve to live down difficulties; but the habit, in small as in great things, of renunciation and self-sacrifice, they did not teach; and, by his sudden leap into a world-wide popularity and influence, he became master of everything that might seem to be attainable in life, before he had mastered what a man must undergo to be equal to its hardest trials.

Nothing of all this has yet presented itself to notice, except in occasional forms of restlessness and desire of change of place, which were themselves, when his books were in progress, so incident as well to the active requirements of his fancy as to call, thus far, for no other explanation. Up to the date of the completion of
Copperfield
he had felt himself to be in possession of an all-sufficient resource. Against whatever might befall he had a set-off in his imaginative creations, a compensation derived from his art that never failed him, because there he was supreme. It was the world he could bend to his will, and make subserve to all his desires. He had otherwise, underneath his exterior of a singular precision, method, and strictly orderly arrangement in all things, and notwithstanding a temperament to which home and home interests were really a necessity, something in common with those eager, impetuous, somewhat overbearing natures, that rush at existence without heeding the cost of it, and are not more ready to accept and make the most of its enjoyments than to be easily and quickly overthrown by its burdens.
But the world he had called into being had thus far borne him safely through these perils. He had his own creations always by his side. They were living, speaking companions. With them only he was everywhere thoroughly identified. He laughed and wept with them; was as much elated by their fun as cast down by their grief; and brought to the consideration of them a belief in their reality as well as in the influences they were meant to exercise, which in every circumstance sustained him.