Conflicted (Secrets and Lies)
CONFLICTED
By M. M. Koenig
Copyright © 2013 M. M. Koenig
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any other form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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DEDICATION
This is for the best friends we have in our lives that help shape the people that we become. I wanted to thank my best friend for her unwavering belief in me in all our years of friendship. Thank you for giving me the best advice.
"We are our own genie."
I had heard it time and time again but never truly got the meaning behind it. I get it now. The power to make your wishes and dreams come true lies within you.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER FOUR: GIVE ME A REASON
CHAPTER FIVE: BLAST FROM THE PAST
CHAPTER SIX: CAN YOU FEEL THIS
CHAPTER ELEVEN: LAST FRIDAY NIGHT
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: NO TIME TO REWIND
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: WREAKING HAVOC
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: PLAYING WITH FIRE
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: BLURRING THE LINES
CHAPTER NINETEEN: RIGHT KIND OF WRONG
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: COMING CLEAN
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: SIX FOR SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: TABLES TURNED
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: YOUR PAST IS NEVER FAR
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: KILLING ME SOFTLY
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: A NIGHT TO BE NORMAL
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: REVELATIONS
"
What's my plan?"
I stared at my ceiling taking in the rays of light as the sun slowly began to rise. I was awake with no chance of falling back to sleep. Every day my thoughts started with the same thought -
"What's my plan?"
Life changed. Shit happened. That much was obvious. I definitely had a firm grasp on that fact. I wasn't
that
naïve. If your plan changed, you readjusted your course. I was without a doubt on a new path but I had to say that the path was leading me and not the other way around. I kept hoping that one of these days, I'd wake up, and everything would be clear again.
My head turned towards the light breathing next to me and let out an irritated sigh. It had to be nice to be able to sleep more than a few hours. I was having difficulty recalling if it was Braden or Brandon. Their shaggy blonde hair fell the same way. It was just the right length and sexy as hell for pulling when...well...you know. I needed to make a better effort at remembering their names or at least branch out to other letters in the alphabet. I was going through a crazy string of guys with names that began with the letter B.
My life had changed so much in the last year. I was living with my closest friends in an amazing house. It was a far cry from the types of places I'd lived in before but that was probably because it was in an uppity part of Chicago. Then again, everything was the polar opposite of the streets on the south side. This place was a testament for me though because I actually liked it here. In twenty-one years, I had never felt at home anywhere but living here gave me that sense of home - it was a first. When this house opened up, Jackson jumped on it. The problem was that it ended up being bigger than he anticipated so he needed to recruit roommates. After several rounds of, 'Mia, it's going to be epic', I caved to his charms. I drove Bri by the house and she was in love. Bri convinced Trey and he asked Shane to round out the house.
The house was gorgeous. Situated in a swanky neighborhood a couple of blocks from the upper lakeshore, it was the perfect location and a short drive to the campus where everyone attended. The Victorian structure matched the rest of the neighborhood. It was a fine white with black shutters and heavy oak door. It came finished with a feature we all adored - a huge wraparound porch. A set of stairs divided the two halves of the porch. The right side of the porch had stairs that lead into a side door that took you into the kitchen. On that side of the house, there was another deck on the second story that led out of the master bedroom. We fought for that room and the alcohol-induced shenanigans that we pulled to get it left us in rough shape. Jackson got it in the end. Shane and Trey took bedrooms near the stairs while Bri and I selected rooms at end of the hallway. Our rooms were next to the enormous bathroom that came with the house. The boys demanded the sizeable den for their man cave so Bri and I claimed the bathroom as ours.
My thoughts broke when the mattress dipped and his arms reached for me. My flight instincts kicked into high gear. Our arrangement had always been casual sex. Spooning was not on the menu. I tiptoed towards the door. On my way downstairs, my eyes widened to the scene popping out from the landing below.
Unfuckingbelievable
.
I saw red wine peeking back at me from every part of the surfaces that were visible at this angle. Jackson and Shane were nothing but trouble when left alone during our parties. The result was always the same - disaster. Thank God the entire house had hard wood floors making it easy to clean. Staying with the stairs towards the kitchen, I thought that was the worst.
When I hit the kitchen, it was horribly wrong of me to assume. There was red wine everywhere, the counters, the island, the stools, the table, the cabinets; even the door leading out to the porch had a coat of it. It was confirmation that we had thrown another kick ass party but the mess staring back at me was less than desirable. Blocked by rows of kegs, the door to get outside was out of commission. On the island, there were enough empty bottles to make any bar envious at the end of the night. Everything else in the kitchen was its normal self: dirty dishes, to-go cartons with plenty of empty pizza boxes littering the countertops and island. I peered around the landing of the stairs for something to cover my feet from the sticky mess beneath me. Shane's sandals were at the bottom of the stairs and sufficed to make the final leg to the stainless steel fridge. With his flip-flops on, I hopped through the wine puddles to grab a bottle of water.
"I've got to reconsider getting a small fridge for my room," I muttered under my breath.
Scanning the living room, I got my second confirmation that last night was a real hit by the ten or so people passed out on the couches and chairs. I couldn't point out any of them in a line up if you paid me. I hit the porch and glanced to the open couches covering it. We got several old couches and mixed them in with other normal porch stuff giving it that college touch. If these couches could talk, they could pen a best-selling novel. With parties every other weekend, they were in use more than the furniture inside the house.
I took a seat the nearest couch and opened my water taking a long drink. I welcomed the cool air as it blew across my face. The birds chirped a quiet tune so I shut my eyes to enjoy their song and the temperature. In a few hours, the humidity would make it unbearable to be outdoors.
"Why the hell are you up so early this morning?" Jackson yelled.
He was strolling towards me from the long driveway that curled around part of the house. It was nice considering all five of us had cars. There was enough space for all our cars to fit without any of us having to park on the street. Jackson rounded the corner of the house looking fresh in his ripped jeans and black V-neck shirt with his backwards baseball cap. Seeing the stubble lining his face, I fought the urge to lick my lips.
"Look who's talking? Do you ever end the night here or is it second nature to make sure you end up in whatever random girl's bed?"
Jackson was...for lack of a better phrase...smoking hot. He had jet-black hair cut so just enough hair remained long to fall into his eye line. He had thick eyebrows that framed his deep blue eyes with a perfect nose. The chisel to his cheekbones matched the definition that ran from his muscular arms that had plenty of tattoos plastered upon them. I met Jackson freshman year. After he stopped trying to hit on me, we became great friends bonding over our shared major in journalism.
He climbed the steps settling on the couch next to me and lit the cigarette in his hand. He flashed a crooked grin playfully punching my arm. "Someone's on the feisty side this morning? Mia, I know your MO. You're down here to drum up an excuse to get last night's guy out of your bed."
I rolled my eyes. "I don't need any excuses. The difference between my rendezvous' and yours are that I at least stick to the same couple of guys. With you, there isn't a tracking system made for human kind that can calculate the amount of women you've had in bed."
Jackson took another drag and puffed smoke circles. "Touché. You have to admit that it's easier to walk out in the morning than giving someone the kick to the curb."
I snorted. I hated admitting it but he was right. With his looks, it was no surprise.
"I can't say that I'm not intrigued to know how you manage to kick them out and then get them to come back all too willingly," Jackson mused.
I gave him a flirtatious wink. "Now, that would be telling wouldn't it?"
Sometimes I can't help myself. I like messing with him.
Jackson finished his cigarette and stretched his arms letting out a loud yawn. He eased himself up heading for the door.
"I'll see you around six tonight when you roll out of bed," I called over to him.
He glanced over his shoulder giving me a sleepy smirk on his way in the house. "Ah...you know me all too well. Good night, Mia."
I leaned back absolutely loving my living situation. We had been living here since last May. It had been a great summer but now the beginning of August was upon us. It meant most people were back to school. They went back but I was the exception to the group. I wasn't sure if I'd go back. This meeting displayed promise. My advisor had an upbeat attitude when he requested it. It was enough for me to feel somewhat hopeful that something positive would result from it. I needed to do something other than sit around the house watching everyone else move forward while I remained stuck in the same spot.
I wrestled myself out of my daze because my boy of the week would be waking up soon. With my water in hand, I went into the house. I paused after entering the door to veer left into the living room. We circled the living room off on one side by two different couch and recliner sets. They had a perfect angle to the seventy-inch flat screen affixed to the far left wall. Between each couch set, we situated coffee tables. They came in handy since we never used the dining room. The furniture and most of the floor had sleeping strangers covering them. I announced that it was time to leave. I received nasty glares but they shuffled out the door.
Once everyone cleared out, I took the stairs two at a time on my way to the bathroom Bri and I shared. The bathroom was astonishing with a huge tub situated in the right corner complimented by a spacious tile shower with a vanity holding two sinks. The window above the whirlpool brought in the light and made soaking with the jets feel like a relaxing retreat to the spa. We had fun decorating it with a Zen like charm.
We had been inseparable since we met in junior high. The best thing with us was that we never worried about hurting each other's feelings by being honest with each other. We fell into an easy rhythm with each other and became best friends fast. We were as opposite in appearance as you could get. We stood at an average height of around 5'6" but that was about where the similarities ended. Bri's body resembled that of a model. She had the perfectly thin figure and flawless skin that every girl wanted to have. To top it off, she had a movie star smile. Her long brown hair changed to match the latest hair fads and her makeup always brought out the sharpness in her emerald eyes. I was a shade paler than her but not albino white. I had no ability to do much other than curl my dirty blonde locks or pull them back into a ponytail. I had curves that men tended to appreciate that complimented my toned legs and arms that were the result of years of playing sports. My deep brown eyes were evenly apart. They were the only things I liked on my face besides my lips. I had full lips that made kissing boys another extracurricular activity for me once I learned how to kiss.