Conjuring Sight (Becky Jo Chronicles Book 1) (27 page)

“No, you’re neither because you’ve chosen to be neither. Now, I need to get moving. I’m leaving in less than four days, and I have things I need to do.”

He stares into my eyes, and I don’t look away. He finally says, “You heard the doctor, you are not going to be well enough to travel on the twenty-first. I am afraid you will have to wait until April.”

“Colonel Blair, ill or not, I will return home on the twenty-first. This is not up for debate but, rather, a fact of life.”

He smiles faintly. “Then we will have to change the facts.

“You can’t change the facts,” I retort.

Drying my feet and his hands, he moves the basin aside. Remaining on his knee, he pulls an item from his pocket.

“I did not think I would ever meet someone who could overlook my pedigree. I was smitten the moment I laid eyes on you, but I tried to distance myself, never daring to dream you could love someone like me. When you pulled the fan across your face at the Ball, telling me of your regard for me, I began to imagine a life with you. Your talent and beauty are only surpassed by your benevolence. I cannot bear the thought of being separated from you. I realize I am rushing things, but it cannot be helped. We have known each other a short time. However, as I have said before, I know I will never find your equal.”

He holds out a massive diamond ring. “Rebecca, marry me.”

I gasp, stunned. I never expected this, not in a million years! Most girls dream of being proposed to, but I’ve never considered myself marriage material. The proposal is so unexpected, I remain speechless.

“I have long believed I was destined to live my life alone,” he continues in a hushed voice. “My parents trapped me between two worlds. I am neither white nor black and belong in neither society. You have commented on my lack of appearance in Virginia City’s society. Why should I attend any social functions where I must hide my true self?”

“If you feel this way, why did we attend so many social functions?” I find my voice, looking down at my feet, afraid to look at him.

He places a hand under my chin and raises my eyes to meet his. His warm, brown eyes penetrate into mine.  “I do not belong in their society, but I belong with you. Hiding is no longer necessary with you by my side. You easily move from one social group to the next.  You are just as comfortable with John MacKay as you are with White Cloud or Rose. When you are with me, I feel as though I fit in as well.”

“You are a millionaire. Money will open many doors for you.”

“Do you think I would have been able to keep my claim if anyone would have known I was a mulatto? The judge would have sided with George O’Malley. No, I do not belong in Virginia City any more than I belonged in New Orleans. The only place I truly feel I belong is with you.”

I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. It is absolutely heartbreaking to hear the words and to know I can’t give him the life he desperately wants. I will return to my time on the twenty-first, and nothing will stop it.

“Colonel Blair, you are too harsh on women. I assure you, you will find someone who suits you better than me.” I pray it is the truth.

He lifts a finger, tracing my cheeks. “No, there is only you.”

I move out of his reach. I can’t give him any false hope. “I wish things were different, but I will leave on the twenty-first. You will find someone else. It’s best if you allow me to do my errands and then forget you ever met me.”

“That is impossible,” he says in a hushed voice. “My father warned me that, because my mother was a octoroon, I must use upmost caution with regards to women. Because of this, I have avoided them, and I have never allowed anyone in my bedroom before. I want to spend my life with you, and to accomplish this goal, I intend to marry you.”

“I have been trying to explain to you I can’t stay!”

“There is no reason you cannot remain with me. I can care for you the way you deserve. I have more money than we could ever spend. You will want for nothing – I promise you this. In the spring, you and I will travel to Charleston. I will help you find Marina. The MacKay’s have talked about moving to France. We could also purchase a chateau there. I’m certain Gabe will make the most of returning to his beloved Paris, and you can study music with the best musicians Europe has to offer. Whatever you wish, I will make reality.”

It is so difficult when I know he means every word. I sigh. “I wish things were different, but I will return home, alone.”

He takes one of my hands in his. “Rebecca, I implore you to think of your own welfare and happiness for a moment. You are so focused on helping others that you fail to safeguard your own interests. I offer you protection and security.”

It’s hard not to be sucked into his dreams. Normally, wealthy men can have any girl they want, but I am not just any girl. No amount of money will ever make it possible for me to stay.

“I’m sorry. I really am, but I can’t stay,”

It surprises me when he smiles and gets to his feet. “I will call for Clara and Ida to help you dress. The Whitakers are expecting us this morning. Julia wants to review the charity concert, and Ozi wants to pick my pocket for his new school.”

The moment he leaves the room, I say, “Rosanna, what have you done?”

She appears next to me, laughing. “Everything is working out perfectly!”

“What did I say to him with my fan at the Ball?” I demand.

“You simply declared your love for him.” She shrugs her shoulders before she laughs with delight as she disappears.

That ghost is definitely a menace!

*     *     *

“The concert is going to be spectacular,” I say, looking over the list of performers. “I hope it is well attended.”

“The tickets are almost gone. Piper’s Opera House will be sold out,” Julia responds, passing me a cup of tea. “The concert was a wonderful idea.”

I clear my throat, putting down my tea.  “Julia, may I ask for some advice?”

“Certainly,” she says, also putting down her own tea.

I wring my hands. “It’s just that Colonel Blair asked me to marry him…”

She interrupts, “What did you tell him?”

“I’m leaving in a few days. Of course I told him ‘no,’” I reply.

Julia smiles proudly. “I knew you were a proper lady. All men should have to earn affection, especially wealthy men. My cousin, Sarah, refused her husband three times before ultimately accepting his proposal.”

Suddenly, the whole thing makes more sense. If more than one proposal is expected, no wonder Colonel Blair acted as though my refusal wasn’t a big deal. Blasted nineteenth century rules!

Julia continues, “Miss Harris, as you have no one on whom you can relay for sound advice, I must, as a God-fearing woman, extend my opinion to you. Being one of the few southerners in Virginia City, Colonel Blair is a kind and equally wealthy man. He is a very fine catch. He was a member of the Millionaire’s Club before he was eighteen. Any girl would be crazy not to at least try to catch his eye, even an engaged girl. Furthermore, the past two weeks has been the first time he has gone to a social engagement since he moved to Virginia City to manage his father’s mines, nine years ago. I must admit, it is refreshing to see some light in his eyes. So many were lost in the war, and the poor boys who returned just are not the same. Still, I am grateful you properly refused him. However, it is not prudent to keep a man such as Colonel Blair waiting for long. His regard is real. Do not make him wait any longer. Accept him today, and we can begin planning the wedding. I only tell you this because I have come to think of you as a younger sister and want what’s best for you.”

*     *     *

I hesitate for a moment in front of the old cabin before knocking. A moment later, Gabe opens the door. He inclines his head.

“What can I do for you, Miss Harris?” he asks.

“I really need to talk to you,” I say, pushing my way into the neat cabin.

“James says you have been avoiding him all day.” Gabe offers me a chair, and I gratefully accept.

“I don’t know what to do. He asked me to marry him, but we both know I will be returning to my time on the twenty-first. Nothing can change that. How can I keep him safe without hurting him?”

“This is a very difficult situation. You and James are well suited to each other. However, a hundred and forty years is an impossible chasm.”

“I want to tell him the truth.” I fiddle with my gloves.

Gabe shakes his head. “He would not believe you if you did. He has too much of his father in him. John never believed in magic of any kind.”

“I can’t let Samuel kill him,” I say pleadingly. “You don’t know how painful it was to watch the four of you roam the earth before. If I fail, I will never be able to forgive myself, and it would be even worse this time. In spite of myself, I have begun to think of him as more than a friend. The only way I will find any peace is if he goes on to live a long and happy life with you and Henry at his side.”

Gabe thinks a several moments. “If Colonel Blair wants to marry you, why not let him? Continue to be upfront that you will leave on the twenty-first, but let him have what little time he can with you.”

“It will hurt him worse when I leave,” I argue.

He shakes his head. “It may be just the thing to save him. He has started to fight. He has never fought Samuel before, and he does it now because of you. The spark has returned to his eyes. He will need that spark if he is going to survive this.”

“But I’m only eighteen. I’m too young to get married.”

“Not in 1875. Here, you are practically an old maid.”

“I’m not ready to get married,” I counter.

“You have traveled through time to save this man. Marrying him may be the only thing that will keep him alive.”

*     *     *

Boring. Boring,
boring,
BORING! That’s how fun hiding in a parlor in 1875 is. There are no televisions or computer games to keep me entertained. There aren’t even any good books. Clara has left out some dreadful romance novelettes. I only read two pages of one before I had to put it down.  A nineteenth century woman’s idea of romance is completely different from my own. They were looking to improve their financial situations. Marriage was mostly a business transaction.  Then there’s the whole dowry thing. I can’t even fathom being some kind of material acquisition. I am not a nineteenth century woman. My goal is to be like Marina: a strong, independent, and smart woman who marries for love – not money.

When I can no longer take the boredom of staring at the wall, I quietly go to the window. I hope to see Henry or even a horse, but all I can see is an empty field.
More boring,
I think to myself.

Someone clears their throat behind me.

“Rebecca, if you are finished avoiding me, perhaps we can go riding?” Colonel Blair says from the doorway. I didn’t even hear the door open, but somehow he’s snuck up on me.

“I’m frightened of horses,” I say, grabbing a novelette.

“Yet, you rode on one to my mines,” he says sarcastically.

“It was an emergency. People needed my help. Besides, I’m catching up on my reading.”

He takes the book out of my hands and flips through the pages.

“Charming,” he mocks.

Without thinking, I stick my tongue out at him. He laughs as he takes my hand. Although I shouldn’t, I like the warmth of his large hand surrounding mine. He escorts me from the room.

“Your hands are cold. We will need your cloak and riding gloves.”

“I don’t want to go riding,” I object in the foyer. “I could get hurt.”

“I will not let anything happen to you,” he replies.

It is increasingly more and more difficult to tell him, “no.” Despite my objections, I allow him to help me with my outerwear and usher me to the stable.

It is impressive to watch him efficiently saddle the horse. He swiftly puts me on the front of the horse before climbing on the back. I hold tightly to him, still untrusting of horses. The Colonel wraps the blanket around me and directs the horse out the stable door.

Although the sky is overcast, it is still a lovely day. A spring breeze blows across the desert.

“Why are you so fond of horses?” I ask after a considerable period of silence. I’m holding on as tightly as possible.

“I have been saved from more than one bad situation by a loyal horse.” He pats the horse’s mane. “Horses are uncomplicated. If you are good to them, they will take you anywhere, even into the very depths of hell. Why are you frightened of them? Surely your father kept horses.”

“My father had other things on his mind, and I have spent all my leisure time learning to play the violin. Learning to ride was not as important.”

“I will teach our children to ride.” He holds me tightly with one arm, steering the horse with the other.

“I am sure you will teach your children to ride,” I correct.

He just chuckles, undeterred. “I will also teach our children to shoot.”

“We are not getting married. However, I would like to learn to shoot.”

He stops the horse and glances down at me. “That is the worst idea I have ever heard. The world would never be safe again if you had a firearm. Besides, you have no need to know how to shoot. I will protect you.”