Conquered: She Who Dares Book Two (30 page)

I step inside the flat to the smell of bacon and coffee. Molly looks up from the kitchen counter where she’s bent over reading the paper.

“Hey.” I say quietly.

“Hey. You okay?” Her eyes narrow and flick nervously over my body.

“Yeah, I’m good, just needed to clear my head.”

“Good. You scared the shit out of me last night.” She whispers.

I stare at the floor, embarrassed. “Sorry. I don’t really know what happened.”

“When did Theo leave?” She says as she sips her coffee.

“Um…well, he might still be here.” Her eyes snap to mine. “At least he was when I left for my run.”

She sighs before turning back to her paper. “I hope you know what you’re doing Lilly. For the record, I stand by the fact that he’s good for you.” She meets my gaze, her eyes far too perceptive for my liking. “Anyone can see he loves you, and I know you love him.”

I sigh. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” I mumble to myself.

“Lilly, you’re going through a lot of shit right now, and this may not be perfect timing…but don’t let fear push away the one man capable of walking through everything with you. I have my issues with Theo, and the last thing you need is complicated right now… and you two…well, you define complicated. That said, I know he’s your person Lill’s. Don’t fight something that special. Embrace it.”

I nod. “You’re right.” And she is right. I don’t want complicated, but on some level I need him regardless of the downfalls.

“Whatever you do, I’m here for you.” I smile at her and wonder why can’t that be enough? What is it about him specifically? Why does he make me feel impenetrable where my friends of a lifetime can’t? Ugh, Theodore Ellis has been the bane of my life since he waltzed up to me in that bar and asked to buy me a drink. I’m not quite ready to face him, I don’t know what to say. “Can I use your shower?” I ask Molly.

She cocks an eyebrow at me and smirks. “Sure.”

I shower in Molly’s en-suite and borrow a tank and some jogging bottoms from her chest of drawers. I have no bra or pants, but it doesn’t bother me. I head back into the living room as Molly is serving up some eggs and bacon.

“I made you some.” She smiles at me. She pushes the plate in front of me and my stomach rolls.

I cover my mouth. “Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”

She narrows her eyes at me. “Lilly, you need to eat. You look ill.” I know I’ve lost weight recently, but I’ve been so stressed out. Most of the time, food just makes me feel ill.

“I’m fine.” I wave her off as I grab a cup of coffee, my staple diet. Caffeine.

I ring Mr. Simmons, but his secretary tells me he won’t be in the office until nine thirty this morning. That’s another hour.

I need to keep busy and not think of Harry behind bars. I pull on some tennis shoes, gather a dustpan and brush and black bag from under the sink, and start sweeping up the enormous pile of glass in the living room. “Oh babe, George is going to take that to the dump in his car. It needs to go in a box though, it’ll just cut through that. He’s going to fetch one this morning.”

“Oh, I think I have one.” I go to my room and take a deep breath before I open the door quietly. The room smells of Theo, that rich masculine scent that is all him. The bed is empty, but I can hear the shower running. I get on my hands and knees and pull out a box from under the bed. It has a few pairs of shoes in that I never wear. I throw them back under the bed minus the box and leave quickly. I’m not ready to see Theo yet. I’m embarrassed. I trashed my flat, cried, had a nightmare, screamed, and finally begged him to have sex with me, even though I must have looked like a psycho at the time. Yeah, that’s a long old list to be ashamed of.

I’m on my knees picking up glass when Theo walks in, I glance up at him as he comes to stand in front of me. He’s wearing the shorts he had on last night and a hoody. His hair is damp from the shower, his full lips pursed as he watches me. Oh god, he makes my heart race. I look away and continue to pick up glass. He drops to a crouch in front of me.

“Lilly.” My name is a deep rumble on his lips. I bite my lip and avoid his gaze. His fingers wrap around my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Are you okay?” His eyes are so tender, a lump forms in my throat. I nod, unable to speak. “Let me do this. I don’t like seeing you on your knees sugar.” His fingers brush my neck as he releases me. I shiver involuntarily. His eyes drop to my chest and a smirk pulls at those full lips. “You look good this morning.” He’s barely suppressing a smile. I glance down and see my nipples are putting on quite a show.

“Thanks.” I roll my eyes and he chuckles. “Do you want coffee?” Just like that any awkwardness is gone.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.” He bends and starts to pick up glass.

“Please leave that.” I plead. The last thing I want is him clearing up the mess from my temper tantrum.

“You go and make coffee. This will take five minutes.” He flashes me a crooked smile that makes my heart flutter. I turn mutely and walk into the kitchen. Jesus, I need to pull my shit together. My body screams at me all the reasons why Theo and I are so right together, whilst my mind whispers that he is having a baby and he will hurt me…again. The thing is though, a scream is a damn sight louder than a whisper…

How do I always end up here? So totally engrossed by him. I’m lost in thought, staring at the coffee machine when I feel his fingers brush my arm.

“I um, I need to call Simmons.” I stammer. “I need to get a hold of an attorney for Harry.”

“Already done. My attorney should be at the police station any minute.” His breath brushes the back of my neck and I almost moan. Fuck, focus. Harry. There should be nothing on this earth that could distract me from my brother right now. Theodore Ellis always was the exception to every rule. Through my horny brain I manage to hear his words.

“You did that?” I turn around to meet his brilliant eyes, just inches from mine.

He smiles. “Called her last night on my way over here. If she can’t sort this, no-one can.”

I frown. “Will he go to prison?” I whisper. I study those sapphire depths, searching for the answer. I want him to tell me it will be okay. That he can fix everything.

He sighs. “I don’t know Lilly.” His face becomes very serious. “Kidnapping is kidnapping, however if you can prove that were extenuating circumstances…” He watches me closely, but I shutter my expression. There are extenuating circumstances, but explaining those circumstances would only lead to questions. Questions which could unearth a much bigger secret. I can’t have that, for Harry’s sake. His situation now is bad, but it could be much worse. This is mine and Harry’s secret to bare. There’s a part of me that knows I can trust Theo with this, but another part rationalises that I’ve known him six months, and he’s already broken my trust in that time. I’m not just trusting him with my secrets, but with Harry’s too.

“So, I’m assuming as this attorney works for you she’s good.” I change the subject.

“Lilly. I can’t help you if you won’t give me anything. I’ve never pushed you on your past, but this is a case of need to know. He kidnapped you Lilly. Why?”

“He didn’t kidnap me, he saved me.” I spit. I can’t stand to hear him talk about Harry as though he’s in the wrong.

“From what?”

“Look, I’ll just tell the police I ran away and he came after me.” I dodge the bullet.

His eyes grip me, stripping me to the soul. It makes me nervous. “They’ll still argue that he should have turned you over to your mother.”

“No!” I shout. “No. You don’t know anything.” My voice starts to tremble and I start to shake.

“So tell me.” He whispers, eyes full of concern.

I turn away from him and fiddle with the coffee machine. “The things that happened in that house…” I choke as my throat tightens. “I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” I whisper. His arms wrap around me, one across my chest, one around my stomach. I lean into him and all the tension of the last few minute’s ebbs away. I draw on his warmth, chasing the ice out of my veins. He makes me feel untouchable, even from my own demons. He turns me in his arms and presses a soft kiss to my lips. His fingers wind into my hair, holding me firmly. Despite the chaos churning in my head, I open my mouth to him. His tongue touches mine briefly, and all the noise in my mind just turns to static. All I can hear is him, his steady breaths. All I can feel is him, his strong hands, his warm body, the rise and fall of his hard chest. I want to crawl inside him and never come out. He pulls away and rest his forehead on mine.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I whisper. I shouldn’t be with him. He shouldn’t be here, but he won’t stop, and I don’t want him to.

“You know why sugar.” We say nothing as he meets my gaze, his bottomless eyes relaying so many words. I look at him and I see everything. He’s everything. He deserves some truth. So as I stare at him, wrestling with my feelings, I blurt the one thing that I hope will make him see sense. Make him realise that Cassie is giving him something I never will.

“I can’t have kids.”

His eyebrows pull down in a frown. “What?”

I drop my gaze as a sense of shame comes over me. I’ve never wanted kids, it’s never bothered me, but now I feel like I’m sub-standard or something, faulty. “I can’t have kids.” I say again quietly.

I flick my eyes up to his, waiting to see the realisation hit him. I will never give him the perfect family. I will always be fundamentally broken in more ways than one.

His eyes soften as he lifts a hand and brushes it against my cheek. “That’s why you won’t be with me?”

I take a deep breath. “No. I don’t know. You should give Cassie a chance.” He starts to interrupt but I press my fingers to his lips. “I know what you’re going to say, and you don’t know whether or not she can make you happy. You’ve never given her a chance.” Fuck that hurts.

He smiles at me. I’m here dying, pouring my fucking soul out and he smiles. Prick. “Sugar, you really have no idea do you?” He shakes his head. “I do not know how anyone can be so fucking oblivious.” I scowl at him. “I fucking love you. You. No one else. I don’t need to give anyone else a chance, they don’t have one with you as a comparison.” I say nothing as my heart squeezes hard. “You think I ever wanted kids? I would give up everything I have, and everything I am in a heartbeat for you. I certainly wouldn’t think twice about giving up something I don’t have.”

“You say that now…”

He shakes his head. “I love you Lilly. Love doesn’t have conditions, it just is.” He watches me carefully, his eyes imploring me to understand.
“Loving you is my greatest accomplishment, and hurting you will always be my biggest regret." Fuck, what can I say to that? I don’t, instead I cry. Great, just great.

Theo presses feather light kisses across my face until his lips tease the corners of my mouth, kissing away my tears.

“You’re losing your edge Ellis. That’s the sappiest shit I’ve ever heard.” I say through my clogged throat.

“Pft, baby I’ll never lose my edge. I’m Theodore fucking Ellis, but for you, I’m a total sap.” He presses his lips to mine and any doubts melt away. He pulls away, leaving me panting. “Just don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold.” He winks. “We need to go sort your brother out, which means I should stop before I tie you to the bed and never let you leave.”

I snort. “What, do you think I’m easy?”

He laughs. “You are the polar opposite of easy sugar. My blue balls can testify to that.”

“Thanks for last night.” I say seriously. I need to say it, I just don’t want to address the big arse elephant in the room. I made him have sex with me while I cried. Poor guy. He must think I’m a psycho. Check that, he knows I’m a psycho, as proven many times. It’s kind of his own fault if he keeps coming back I guess.

“Yeah, not my greatest moment.” His lips quirk. “Preying on vulnerable women.” I roll my eyes. “My blue balls thank you, even if I do feel like a creeper.” He says.

“I cried on you whilst we had sex.” I arch an eyebrow. “That’s pitiful by anyone’s standards, and I have a reputation to uphold too.”

He grins. “Oh I won’t tell. You can still be badass Lilly Parker to everyone else. It’ll be our secret.”

I have to call Simmons and fill him in. I tell him that I have a family emergency and need the day off. He’s fine with it. I’ll probably get some files emailed over later and work on them tonight. Theo tries to get me a visit with Harry, but I’m not allowed to see him yet. Apparently they have forty eight hours to press charges. If they press charges I can visit him, if they don’t he’ll be free. I’m praying they don’t. The police need to interview me, but Theo doesn’t want me to speak to them without his attorney. He takes me to her office to meet her.

“Who is your solicitor?”

He smirks. “You are my solicitor. Claudia Weston is a fucking miracle worker. She’s the woman you call when you’re so far up shit street all you see is brown.”

“Your solicitor is Claudia Weston?!” He shrugs and nods. “Jesus.” The woman is like a legend around here. You cheat on your wealthy husband, she’ll clean him out for you in the divorce. You were arrested for possession of a class A, she’ll get you off with a caution. She is the bomb of the legalworld.

Theo doesn’t even pause at the receptionist’s desk as they wave him straight through. He’s obviously well known here…at a criminal defence attorney’s office.

We stop outside an office fronted entirely in glass. Theo knocks and the small woman waves him in. “Theo, how have you been my lovely?” She totters over to him on enormous heels, and kisses his cheek. She’s a tiny middle aged woman. Her dark hair is pulled back in a severe bun, and her designer suit clings to her tiny frame.

“I’m good Claudia. How are you?”

She turns and waves a dismissive hand. “Ugh, you know, dealing with dickheads, making money, and probably headed for a heart attack.” There are two sofas facing each other over a low glass coffee table. She gestures to us to sit.