Consequences (36 page)

He smiled, kissed her long and hard. She kissed back. “You are the most amazing woman. I have vice presidents, presidents, and chairmen of boards who have never experienced me as you have. None of them would have the courage to answer that question as honestly as you just did.” She exhaled. “It is your strength and determination that have infuriated me. That strength and resilience has also made me fall in love with you.”

Perhaps it shouldn’t have been a shock, but it was. He said that he loved her. He had her complete attention and yet her internal monologue almost drowned out his voice:
Love,
really?
He
just
said
he
loves
me?
Do
I
love
him?

“Claire, I experienced life without you while you were ill. I don’t want to do that again. But I want you to make your own decision. Tonight I would like to present you with two options: your freedom, you may leave tonight and your debt is paid; or . . .” he removed a diamond solitaire ring from his jacket pocket, “you could agree to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me, not out of obligation or because of a contractual agreement, but because you want to be with me.”

Her heart beat rapidly and her lungs momentarily forgot to breathe. She stared at Tony and at the ring. With only the illumination of the streetlamps she could see the brilliant solitaire diamond. It was surrounded by a delicate diamond border with additional diamonds on the platinum band. She’d never seen anything so beautiful, and Tony was offering it to her.

Her mind couldn’t stop spinning. She knew she should answer, speak, say something, but words failed her. He continued, “You told me yesterday no more black boxes, so I took it out of its box.” He grinned. “Could we see if it fits?”

Claire nodded yes, and extended her left hand. Tony smiled at her as he removed the fuzzy mitten and placed the ring on her fourth finger. She was suddenly glad she had agreed to a manicure. “It seems to fit.” Tony looked into her emerald eyes. “The question still seems to be unanswered. Do you want to keep it on and stay with me? Will you please be Claire Rawlings?”

She weighed her possibilities. He could be the most romantic man in the world. He was incredibly generous with his money, both to her for whatever she needed and others; thus: much philanthropic recognition. He was the most amazing lover. She’d never in her life experienced sensual highs like she had with him. He was the only person she could talk with freely. He knew all about her because he knew her private information.
But
that was the word that haunted her.
But
he could be dark, mean, cruel, controlling, and sadistic.
He
was the reason for that private information. “I . . . I am so surprised. Are you seriously asking
me
to marry
you
?”

He smiled. “Yes, this entire night has been leading to this proposal. I have watched you with me, in private and public, with my closest friends, and I want you there always. I love you.”

Again, internal debate:
Love?
He
keeps
using
that
word.
Love,
do
I
love
him?
I
think
I
do.
When
did
that
happen?
Oh my, Claire needed to think about this. The napkin thing happened too quickly, this needed contemplation. “Please let me think. I promise you an answer soon.”

He waited patiently. The carriage steadily moved through the cold crisp air. She saw her breath as she looked at her hand and at Tony. She thought about his patience as she healed from her injuries, about him risking public exposure with Dr. Leonard, about how he made her feel when she saw him walk into a room. Her contemplation took a while. They sat back in the carriage. She rested her head on his shoulder and thought. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t push. He held her hand.

She could decide to leave and do what? Go back to Atlanta. Did she still have an apartment? He waited. There was a side of him that frightened her, but the idea of living without him frightened her more. She needed him. He told her that. Most importantly, she loved him, she really did. Sometime during the last eight months he’d become her everything. She couldn’t imagine life without him. Finally, she answered, “God help me, yes. Tony, I will marry you. I love you too.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her tenderly. She laid her head back on his shoulder as the carriage continued through the park. Claire looked again at her left hand.

“If you don’t like the ring we can look at others. It is from Tiffany’s. We can go Friday and exchange it.”

“Oh no! I love the ring. Besides, you chose it. It is exquisite. I am just so surprised.” She thought of something. “Does Catherine know you were planning this?”

Tony said she suspected, but he hadn’t told anyone. He didn’t know her response. “I never go into a meeting that I don’t know the outcome of. I am always prepared for every situation. Tonight I wasn’t sure. You asked about your debt being paid a few months ago. I thought that perhaps you would take that option.” He leaned down to kiss her hair. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you didn’t. I know Catherine will be too.”

When the carriage arrived back at Seventh Avenue, Eric had the limousine warm and waiting. As Tony helped Claire down from the carriage and led her to the car, he told Eric, “My fiancée and I are ready to go back to the apartment.”

“Yes, sir. Congratulations, Mr. Rawlings, and to you too, Ms. Claire.”

That night after some of the most wonderful lovemaking Claire ever experienced, she began to consider the fact that she was getting married and that meant a wedding
.
“I don’t know how to plan a wedding to someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“You know what I mean. This isn’t your everyday Indiana or Iowa wedding. You are Anthony Rawlings. We can’t go to dinner without photographers. A wedding will be a national spectator event.”

He chuckled. “My dear, that is what wedding coordinators and planners are for. We will hire the best. They will assist in everything.” That made her feel better. She wondered if the wedding was a catastrophe, wouldn’t that be a public failure? “By the way, how do you feel about a Christmas wedding?”

Her mind went into overdrive. “Christmas? As in four weeks from Friday?”

“I can’t wait any longer than that to have you be my wife, Mrs. Anthony Rawlings.”

She knew from experience his mind was made up. With queasiness deep in the pit of her stomach, she said, “I feel that you must hire the world’s best wedding coordinator and planner.”

Claire tried to sleep but the panic of planning a wedding in four weeks made her suffocate. She lay next to her fiancée and attempted to make sense of everything. Maybe she needed to compartmentalize, one thing at a time: wedding, reception, dress, and maid-of-honor. “I would like Emily to be my matron-of-honor.”

He was almost asleep. “We can discuss it tomorrow. Good night.”

“Good night.”

This
is
the
finest
measure
of
thanksgiving:
a
thankfulness
that
springs
from
love.

—William C. Skeath

 Chapter 25

They talked into the early morning about the wedding. Therefore, Thursday morning, Claire slept soundly until after nine. Sensing that she was alone in the big bed, she focused her gaze on her left hand. On the fourth finger was a spectacular engagement ring. Smiling, she marveled at the reality; it wasn’t a dream. She was really marrying Anthony Rawlings
.

Until last night, Claire hadn’t allowed herself to think of Tony in terms of emotions or endearments. She knew she was having feelings, but she wouldn’t let herself elaborate. However, when he said he loved her, it opened a floodgate. She thought about her feelings and how she missed him when he’s gone. How she enjoyed having him around to talk with. How he could make her feel special, and how she thought about him when they were apart. She realized, to her own amazement, she really did love him! She couldn’t contain her smile; this revelation was so astounding!

Claire wrapped herself in a thick long robe and walked downstairs to the dining room. As she approached, the rich poignant aroma of fresh coffee filled her lungs and brought her senses to life. Jan had coffee warm and ready for Claire. Tony wasn’t there either. “Mr. Rawlings is in his office, Ms. Claire. And if I may? Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Jan. I’m sorry you have to work on Thanksgiving,” Claire offered as Jan poured her coffee.

“It is all right, miss. I am looking forward to having guests this afternoon for dinner. We rarely entertain here.”

“Guests? I am sorry. If Mr. Rawlings mentioned guests, with the excitement of our engagement, I’ve forgotten. Do you remember who is joining us for Thanksgiving dinner?”

“I am sorry. I don’t believe he told me names. I know there will be two, and they are scheduled to arrive at one thirty.”

Jan convinced Claire to eat an English muffin and grapefruit. After breakfast, Claire went to Tony’s office. She could hear him speaking behind the closed door. She may be his fiancée, but interrupting him uninvited in his office didn’t seem like a good idea. Perhaps some rules would change, but she decided that he would choose which ones. She went back to their bedroom, showered, and thought about how glad she was she’d bought new clothes. If she needed to be
the
perfect
companion
for some business associates, she felt better in well-fitting clothes. She decided on a black pair of wool slacks and a pink knit sweater that came from Neiman Marcus. The black boots had high heels, Tony wouldn’t seem as tall. Dreamily, she thought about fuzzy socks and her new hoodie—being Mrs. Rawlings would teach her to keep up appearances. Actually, being Claire Nichols had taught her that.

As she straightened her hair, she marveled at the new even lighter shade. The auburn showed through enough to be considered low lights, but she was definitely a caramel blonde now. Although Catherine packed many pieces of Claire’s new jewelry, she wanted to wear her grandmother’s necklace and the O earrings Tony brought her from Europe. She shook her head; that seemed so long ago. Once she was completely dressed, she relaxed on the bed and let her mind wander.

Internal monologue:
I’m
going
to
marry
Tony.
I’m
going
to
marry
Tony
in
four
weeks.
I
need
a
wedding
dress.
I
need
to
call
Emily.
There
were
guests
coming
to
dinner.
Perhaps
after
dinner
I
can
approach
the
Emily
subject
with
Tony.
Where
will
we
marry?
Who
will
we
invite?
Suddenly, a nice destination wedding anywhere seemed like a good idea.