Consequences (70 page)

Courtney asked Claire to fill in with her multiple charities during her absence. Being January, the heart of her winter blues, Claire happily agreed to the additional tasks. Unfortunately, Claire agreed to help Courtney without first conferring with Tony. “I agree they are admirable charities. I don’t think you need to be gone that much.”

“It is only for two weeks, and I already said I would help.”

“You agreed without discussing it. Did you forget about your responsibilities here? I certainly hope you are not having memory problems again.”

“I didn’t forget and I am sorry. I just wanted to help a friend. I promise nothing will go undone here.”

“You are right, because you won’t be going. Or do you not feel that taking care of your husband is important?”

Claire knew her pleas were useless. “Tony, I am sorry.”

She called each organization. “I am truly sorry I won’t be able to attend your meeting. It seems that I have double booked my calendar. If you could e-mail the information, I will forward it to Mrs. Simmons.” Those calls were made on the speaker feature of her new phone with her husband present. Suddenly, her calendar was open to Tony’s whims.

Claire believed these consequences resulted more from Brent’s absence than from her insubordination. Tony would never admit that. Her attraction toward her husband was waning. Experience taught her that it was a cyclical process. It would wane, then it would wax. She encouraged herself to be patient for the wax.

This January was less snowy than the last, which helped Claire’s disposition. Less snow meant fewer clouds, more sunshine. The Iowa air still registered below freezing but the view from her suite wasn’t that of frozen white tundra. The winter, combined with the feeling that unpredictability was predictably returning, gave her the
teetering
on
the
fence
sensation from before. Continuing her personal self-therapy, she reminded herself that Courtney would be back in another week and spring was only three months away.

Admittedly more of an attempt to pacify than an act of devotion, she tried desperately to alleviate Tony’s concerns. She obediently waited for him each evening, dressed appropriately for his arrival, attentively listened to his day and concerns, discussed her e-mails, texts, voice mails, and expressed her undying affection. She even chose to not pursue the e-mails and text messages from Emily. That is, until she heard a recent voice mail. The distress in her sister’s voice was unnerving. She respectfully asked Tony if they could call her.

They did from Claire’s telephone. Having her cell phone saved the long walk to his office. They tried three times and didn’t receive an answer. Tony willingly agreed to try again later. They finally reached Emily and the information from the call was difficult for Claire to fathom. John had been accused of fraudulent billing. The Vandersols were devastated.

The morning after the call, Claire opened her eyes, realizing that she was waking in Tony’s bed. The feeling of disorientation came more from her concern over her family than from the dark surroundings. She rolled toward him, but he was gone. The clock read 7:03 a.m. If she hurried to the dining room she may catch him before he left for work. She wanted to thank him again for the ability to talk to her sister during this difficult time. Truth be known, she hoped her gratitude would facilitate her opportunity to support Emily in the future. She put on slippers and her cashmere robe and walked to the dining room. The rich aroma of coffee met her halfway down the corridor. Tony was at the head of the table drinking coffee, his plate empty and his laptop open. When Claire entered the room he looked up. “Good morning, dear. You look beautiful this morning.”

She made a face, “I think you need an eye exam,” and gave him a kiss. “I just wanted to catch you before you left.” Claire sat down at the table and Catherine poured her coffee. “I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate talking to Emily. This is a really difficult time for them.” She added some cream, watching the ivory liquid swirl into the black abyss. Then she looked up into his eyes, wondering if they were the color of the coffee with or without the cream, and added, “And I wanted to let you know I will miss you.” She smiled at the cream filled eyes as she spoke.

“Good news, I am working from home today.” Claire’s heart sank, she really wanted alone time to contemplate the
John
thing
. However, her smile never faltered. “So you will not need to miss me.”

“That’s great! Do you have a lot of work?”

“A few web conferences and phone calls, but don’t worry, I know your schedule is free. I have some ideas for us too.” That smile and the way his eyes shone made Claire question his ideas. She would be glad when Brent returned. This Tony made her uneasy, detesting the dual personalities.

Sipping her coffee, “All right, I need to work out and clean up. I came down here in a hurry to see you.”

“When you’re dressed come to my office,” he said as he stood to leave. He paused to touch her shoulder.

Obediently she replied, “I will be there as soon as I can.”

He kissed her cheek. “Or you could visit before you dress?” His tone suddenly playful.

She touched his hand. “If I do that, you may not get your work done.” He reluctantly agreed and went to his office. She smiled at his attire: shirt, tie, NYU sweatpants, socks, and slippers.
That
comment to
Vanity
Fair
had been truthful.

Claire’s thoughts wandered as she sipped her coffee, ate her breakfast, and looked out the tall windows. For January the sky was an amazingly clear sapphire blue. Suddenly, she longed to be outside and in the sunshine. The John situation had her heartsick. Maybe some fresh air would give her a new perspective and some ideas to help her family. The beautiful scene outside the window beckoned her to walk, roam, get away, if only for a few hours. The snow of the last few weeks was melted, yet today it was cold enough to keep the ground solid. Perhaps she would have time for a hike before Tony’s ideas. Maybe she could entice him to walk too. He might have some ideas to help John.

Thinking about her walk, Claire finished her shower and left her bathroom considering the appropriate clothes: jeans, a sweater, hiking boots. Her plans didn’t matter. She saw that her clothes were laid out. She hated that. This attire assistance occurred without predictability since her
accident
. There were jeans, dressier than she would have chosen, and a blue snug-fitting V-neck sweater—not exactly perfect for hiking, but with the addition of a coat and scarf it could work.

Then she noticed her jewelry on the dressing table. Her internal monologue:
Seriously,
it
is
morning,
who
needs
diamonds
in
the
morning?
Avoiding an unnecessary confrontation, she did as she had been bid, dressed in the clothes, and put on the diamond journey necklace, diamond stud earrings, and diamond watch. Her new watch from Switzerland was beautiful, but it sat on her wrist as a constant reminder of punctuality. She’d been late twice. She didn’t need a watch to remind her of Tony’s appreciation. The first time taught her a lesson she would never forget.

Luckily, there were no shoes set out. She could put on the hiking boots and hope for the best. She was pretty sure Tony’s ideas didn’t include shoes, but hers did. Maybe he could find his hiking boots too.

It was almost ten by the time she reached his office. She knocked and waited for his permission to enter. She didn’t hear him but the door opened and she entered, seeing him seated behind his desk with a shirt and tie, looking so professional. She smiled and quietly sat on the leather sofa away from the webcams and waited for the web conference to finish.

It had something to do with a company in Michigan that was losing money. The local government wasn’t willing to give more tax breaks. Were they going to close it or keep it open? The discussion revolved around the potential for future profits. It would probably result in more unemployed people. Claire didn’t want to think about it. She picked up a magazine and began quietly ruffling through the pages.

Ten forty-five he finally finished. She waited for him to complete whatever he was doing on his computer. Once he was done she heard his chair turn toward her. “Ahh, blue, my favorite color,” he said as he eyed the sweater as she walked toward him. “You are beautiful in any color.” His eyes were appreciative of what he could see and what he couldn’t. “Or in no color.” And he smiled and reached out to put his hands around her waist. “I have one more web conference at eleven, then two lunch phone calls. I would like you back after those.” It sounded like a request, it wasn’t.

“It is so nice out. I would like to go for a hike while you are working.” Wording was such an intricate part of her negotiations.

“No, the phone calls may need to be postponed depending on the outcome of the next web conference. I would like you here if I am done earlier. We can lunch and discuss our possible afternoon activities.” He had turned back to his computer screen and read while he spoke.

Claire took a breath, leaned down to his neck, and gently kissed it. She’d been good, he knew she was upset about her family, and she hoped that she could press a little more. “Well,” exhaling purposely on his neck, “then may I just go out back? The sky is so clear and I could really use some fresh air.”

He was obviously engrossed in his computer but her approach earned her a seductive grin. “Okay, just be back by noon. And could you get me some coffee before you go?” Claire started to ask where Catherine or another member of the staff was, but deciding that it could delay her trip to the backyard, she kissed his neck. “Yes.”

In the kitchen she found coffee still warm in the pot. She added cream, carried it back to his office, and waited. It was now ten fifty-seven. Tony rummaged through some papers and simultaneously spoke on his iPhone. Hanging up he said, “Tell Eric there are contracts at the Iowa City office. I need them here
before
one o’clock. He needs to get them immediately.” Claire thought about how he was trying to keep her busy at home. She really didn’t mind, but she wanted to go on her walk. He saw the question in her eyes. “And after that, go for your walk, just be back by noon.”

She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Okay. I will tell Eric and be back.”

She hurried to find Eric. Claire asked Catherine about Eric’s whereabouts and explained she would be in the backyard if Mr. Rawlings needed her before noon. Catherine directed Claire to Eric’s apartment attached to the main garage. She started back toward the garages, a walk she rarely took. She didn’t drive, and when she went anywhere Eric or Tony picked her up at the front door.

The walkway between the main house and garages was beautiful. The windows, on both sides continued the full length of the hall and were so clear they seemed invisible. She looked at the sky and thought about her sister and brother-in-law. Emily sounded so distraught on the phone last night. The fact Tony reminded her to call was a miracle in itself. The fact that she spoke on speaker phone was expected. Claire couldn’t believe that John was actually in jail. The charges of embezzlement and fictitious client billing were ludicrous. John would never cheat on a test, much less do any of these things. That was what made John such an amazing attorney, he was honest beyond honest. Claire tried to reassure Emily. She wanted to go to her and help. However, Tony would never allow that. Perhaps she could send money for John’s defense. After all, wasn’t Tony telling her all the time how much capital she possessed? If money wasn’t good for accomplishing what you want, what good was it?

Her thoughts quickly changed to the beautiful cars as she entered the garages. Tony definitely liked his cars. Claire knew they had multiple new ones since her arrival. It was too bad she didn’t drive. Sighing, she thought,
It
has
been
almost
two
years.

Light filtered from under the apartment door as Claire knocked. Eric immediately answered. What she could see of his apartment looked like a nicely decorated living room with a dining area attached. “Yes, Mrs. Rawlings, may I help you?”

“Eric, Mr. Rawlings said there are some contracts at his Iowa City office that he must have by one o’clock. If you go immediately you will be back in time.” As Claire spoke, Eric grabbed his coat and hat. He unlocked a cabinet on the wall that contained keys to all the cars, took out the keys to the BMW 7 Series, and shut the cabinet.

Hurriedly Eric looked at his watch. “Ma’am, tell Mr. Rawlings I will be back before twelve thirty.” He got into the car.

“I will, drive safely.” Claire figured it could wait until she saw him at noon. As Eric pulled out of the garage Claire noticed the key cabinet. It did not shut properly, revealing the keys to multiple cars. Suddenly nervous, Claire contemplated the keys. She should shut the cabinet. Then she could go out to the backyard for
air
. Or she could take a set of keys and drive to as much
air
as she wanted. She wasn’t thinking
air
for a lifetime, only enough
air
to breathe.