Consume Me (13 page)

Read Consume Me Online

Authors: Kailin Gow

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Self-Help, #Relationships, #Love & Romance, #Health; Fitness & Dieting

BOOK: Consume Me
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“Tar,” Errol said as he pushed past her.

“What?  Are you going to tell me that was a wrong number?” she spat.

Tight-lipped, he shook his head.

“Who was that, Errol?”

“That’s not important.”

“No, you're right. It’s not important.  What is important is that you were with some fucking girl… a month ago?  You fucked some other girl a month ago?  Did she really do it for you, Errol?  Huh?  Did she steam it up for you?

“Tar, stop it.”

“Stop it?  Honey, I’m just getting started.  You told me running around and womanizing was a part of your past.  You said it was far behind you.  Sorry, Errol, but a month ago is not far behind you.  That’s while you knew me.  That’s while we were together… and that makes you a lying, cheating scumbag.”

“Tar, we weren’t together. Technically, we weren’t.  You’d left, remember? It happened when you left me high and dry in Paris to return home to America.”

She huffed.  “Really, Errol.  You want to call this on a technicality.  This isn’t some freakin’ game, you pig.  This is a relationship. No. Scratch that. This
was
a relationship, because as far as I’m concerned, this is it… over.  I’ve had enough. I’ve seen enough.  And don’t you dare try to sweet talk your way out of it this time, Errol, because the proof of the man you really are is right there in that voicemail.  If ever you start to wonder why we didn’t work out, just listen to it again and remind yourself of the pig you really are.”

“You're not being fair.  You’d left, Tar.  You left me with no way of reaching you, of finding you.”

Narrowing her eyes, she glared at him with hateful venom.  She quickly patted herself dry and grabbed her clothes.

“You know what, Errol?  I don’t really care what you do.  I don’t care what you did when we broke up then, and I don’t care what you do after we break up now.  I just want to get dressed and I’ll be out of your place and out of your life.”  She jerked her skirt on and struggled to get her still damp arms into her buttonless blouse.  She didn’t want to waste any time going through her luggage to find something more suitable and simply knotted the blouse beneath her breasts.

Errol reached for her arm. “Tar, you're making it sound like I have no feelings in all this.  Do you know what it did to me to have you leave like that?  I was heart-broken. And believe me, I did spend many nights wondering and worrying about you, but forgive me if I’m not the type of man who’ll just roll up into a ball and cry endlessly over a break up.  I got out and tried to erase the pain… yes, in another woman’s bed, but only because you pushed me away. It was a mistake that I wished never happened, but I’ve never felt so devastated like that before. I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was I wanted to erase you from my heart, to drown all my pain into something…and she was there.”

“And how long did it take you to find that other woman’s bed, Errol?  Two days, three?  Did you give it a week?”

He stared dumbly at her.

Tearing away from him, she shouted, “I thought you loved me.”

“I did.  I do.  That’s what made being without you so difficult.  Damn it, Tar.  I was trying to get over you; trying to move on.”

“Who is it?  Huh?  Who’s the girl?  A student?  A fan?  A patron of your restaurant?”

His eyes veiled with guilt and the blow hit her in the gut as painfully as if he’d struck her. Swallowing her disgust, she reached for the counter to steady herself.

“It’s Suzanne, isn’t it?”

He remained silent and dropped his gaze to the floor.

“I can’t believe it.”

“Tar,” he murmured.

“Of all people, you went and screwed that witch Suzanne?  Damn it, Errol.  Damn you!”  She pounded her fists into his chest as tears of frustration streamed down her cheeks.  “Damn you!”

“Honey, that was a mistake. You left me. We weren’t together any longer. It meant nothing to me.”

“I heard her, Errol.  It didn’t seem to matter little to her.”  Clenching her teeth, she glanced at the ceiling, wishing there was a way to erase everything that had just happened.   “Why her, Errol?  Damn it, of all people, why her?”

“I didn’t go out looking to be with someone, Tar.  She was just there.”

Leaning back against the counter, the main thrust of anger dissipated and Tar was simply left with the emptiness and pain of his betrayal.

“You work with her, Errol.  Even if I had a hope of ever forgiving you, how could I ever trust you, knowing that you're working with her day in and day out?  What am I supposed to really think you're doing when you stay late at the restaurant night after night… all alone with her?”  She shook her head with disgust.  “Never.  I’d never be able to trust you again…let alone marry you.”

“You're not giving me much credit.”

She sullenly stared straight ahead.

“Tar,” he whispered as he grasped her shoulders.  “You heard the message.  It was over ever since I saw you at Sam’s that first night I ate there. The moment I found you, the moment you allowed me into your life again, I cut ties with her. She knew that.”

“Then why is she calling you.  That message wasn’t that of a woman who’s been ditched.  It’s the message of a woman who expects to easily reconnect with a lover.”

“That’s her take on the situation, not mine. She’s persistent. I told her when I was here with you in New York, that you and I are together.”

Taryn couldn’t get Suzanne’s message to Errol out of her head. She closed her eyes, seeing pitch black darkness and felt her heart rate go up as the beat of her heart became louder and louder. How could she trust Errol? How could she trust Suzanne won’t try to seduce him every chance she got while they “worked” together. First Madame X, the pretty girls in his class, and now Suzanne. Would it always be like this? Could she handle it? She didn’t want to marry someone like her father. She didn’t want to make the same mistake as her mother, marrying someone who didn’t value marriage or family. She grew up watching how her mother struggled raising two kids and trying to make ends meet. She grew up without a father. As much as she loved Errol, she was frightened that he would end up like her father, having affairs and being a deadbeat. Before she could stop herself, she said, “well, here’s my take on the situation, Errol.  This is over.”

 

 

Chapter 16

 

T
ar rushed to Errol’s private elevator and repeatedly punched the button. The doors quickly slid open.  Her head down in anger and pain, Tar marched into the elevator only to stop dead in her tracks as she spotted the bright red spike heels. Blinded with rage, her gaze followed up the trim line of calves and thighs, the tight black skirt that hugged dangerous curves and the unbelievably low cut shimmering yellow halter top.  Just short of looking at the woman’s face, Tar stopped, not wanting to see, not wanting to know.

Trying desperately to control her anger, she finally looked straight into Suzanne’s face.  She couldn’t help but notice the pleased and victorious smile on the vile woman’s lips.  The witch didn’t even seem surprised to see her there.  And where had she called from? The lobby?

The rage finally took over and Tar lunged at Suzanne, slapping the witch’s grin right off her face.  But while Suzanne winced for a brief moment, a self-satisfied and devious grin quickly curved her lips as she walked out of the elevator and turned back to Tar just as the doors slid shut.

Tar wanted to scream, wanted to throw herself against the elevator walls, wanted to crumble to the floor and cry.  The witch!  Trembling with rage, she watched the numbers count down the floors that passed.  As the fourth floor was counted off, Tar realized she’d have to call a cab to get home.  As the third floor was counted off, she reached for her purse to pull out her phone only to realize she’d left it at Errol’s.  And as the second floor was counted off, she realized she didn’t have a dime on her, no credit cards, not identification… nothing.  She’d left everything up in Errol’s apartment.

“Damn!” she shouted into the empty elevator.

As she reached the ground floor and the doors slid open, she knew she had to go back up.  It was the last thing she wanted to do… to face Suzanne again… to see her fawn over Errol… and worse still, to see Errol welcome her into his arms.

For a long moment she stared out from the elevator.  If she stepped out and the doors closed behind her, she wouldn’t be able to get back in without a key… and just as that thought struck her, she noted that Suzanne must have had a key in order to take the elevator up.

“Ha!” she huffed.  “The relationship is over… my ass.”

She punched the “close door” button and prepared for the confrontation to come.  Her heart pounded and her breath came fast and short.

Just as the elevator reached Errol’s floor, Tar heard his hushed voice as he spoke to Suzanne.  Unable to make out a word, she was nonetheless shocked by the soft and affectionate tone he used with her.  She shouldn’t be surprised, after all they’d been lovers, but still, to hear him stung more than she could have imagined.  Though she was well aware it would be torture, she held her breath and leaned into the “close door” button to keep the door from opening at his floor.  Leaning into the wall as tears streamed down her face, she pressed her forehead to the mirror, willing herself to find the strength to push the “open door” button and get her things and get out of his life for good.

Biting her lip, she brought her finger to the button, but it just hovered there, unable to press.

“I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d drop by.  It’s not as if I haven’t done it before,” Suzanne purred.

“Things have changed, Suzanne,” Errol said. “I thought I’d made that clear. I’m serious about Taryn. We’re engaged and I take that very seriously.”

“Really?  Come on, Errol.  I know you, remember?  I know the kind of man you are… really are.  This whole engagement thing is a real joke.”

“I changed.  I grew up.  I fell in love.  Need I go on?”

“You’ve fallen into a slump.  You’re feeling old and in need of security.  You’re infatuated with a silly little girl.  Need
I
go on?”

“Stop it.”

“Ah, come on.  Loosen up.”

“Suzanne,” he growled.  “I said stop it.”

Even from inside the security of her elevator, Tar shuddered at the anger that reverberated from him and inadvertently pressed on the “open door” button. The doors slid open and with one foot still in the elevator and the other in the entry hall of Errol’s penthouse, Tar held her breath and watched the lovers’ quarrel.

Errol gripped Suzanne’s wrist, but there was no eroticism, no passion, no affection… just pure fury and the dire need to get rid of her.

“I want you to leave here and I want you to forget my phone number,” he said.

“Errol, you can’t be serious.  Think of the last night that we spent together.  We were so hot, so on fire, so in tune to one another.”

“You know, I hate to break it to you, but… thing is, I don’t really remember the last time we were together.  In fact, I remember little of the last few times we’ve been together. I was drunk and depressed.”

Suzanne’s jaw dropped and her eyes narrowed.

“You see, the thing is,” he went on, painfully driving the point home.  “Every time I was with you, I was thinking of her. Every time I touched you, I imagined I was touching her, and every time I looked at you, it was her that I saw.  I know you don’t want to believe it, Suzanne, but I really do love Taryn, and I want her.”

“Liar!” she spat.  “That skinny little bitch can’t possibly keep you happy like…” 

“Suzanne, you’re making this more difficult than it needs to be, but, truth is, you leave me no choice.  I can’t possibly work with someone who so blatantly disregards my wishes.  I can’t work with someone who’ll continually threaten my marriage.”

Stomping her foot and clenching her fists, she glared at him.  “What are you saying?”

“I think you know what I’m saying.”

“I want to hear you say it.  I want to hear the words from your lips.”

“Suzanne, why are you doing this?”

“Say it!”

“You leave me no choice, but to relieve you of your duties.”

“You’re firing me?  I, who have put so much work into building
your
restaurant, into making it one of the most talk about spots in New York.  Do you know how many offers I’ve had recently?  Dozens, and I’ve refused them all to stay and help you build La Benicoise into what is it, and you’re just going to throw all that away... and for what?  ”

“You’re making it impossible not to, Suzanne.  I don’t want to have to let you go, but I can’t trust that you won’t pull this sort of thing again.”

“You’re firing me?” she shouted. Enraged, she turned to the elevator and spotted Tar. “Because of that little bitch!”

Shocked by the whole scene, Tar stood motionless as Suzanne marched toward her.  Even as the angry woman raised her hand to strike her, she didn’t move to protect herself. The sting of her hand left her stunned and staring as Suzanne stomped into the elevator.

“You’ll regret this, Errol King,” Suzanne screamed.  “You’ll regret the day you chose her over me.”

Tar stepped out in time to watch the doors slide shut and the apartment fell silent.

“Tar,” Errol said after a stunned moment.  “You came back. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Taryn said, looking down. “Other than a little sting, I’m okay.” After a while, she looked into his eyes and said, “I heard your argument with Suzanne.”

For a long moment he looked at her, not quite understanding.

“I forgot all my stuff and had to come back,” she explained.

“Oh,” he muttered as he shifted uneasily.

“Look, I’m sorry about running out.  I… it hurt to think… You… with her.  I thought you were cheating on me, but I can understand how our split could… Well, I don’t like the thought of you with her, but I can understand how you could.  I mean, you couldn’t know that we would ever see each other again.  I guess I shouldn’t have ignored all your messages.  Maybe if I had given you a glimpse of hope, all this wouldn’t have happened.”

“And I’m sorry I ever got involved with Suzanne in the first place. I should have known she’d be trouble.  Does that tell you just how bleak the situation was after you left?  It’d been a long time since I’d felt so abandoned… not since Nana passed away.  I think I was more devastated than even I realized.  I must have been to have fallen into Suzanne’s trap.”  He looked sheepishly at Tar.  “And I have to admit, I was a little upset with you.  I think a part of me wanted to hurt you just like you’d hurt me.”

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