Consumed (43 page)

Chapter Eighteen

I slip into the long, black dress Mom bought me for the funeral. It clings tightly to my curves and I feel strange wearing something like this to my own dad’s wedding. It isn’t anything flashy or over the top. It doesn’t expose my cleavage or show too much back, but it’s too clingy, showing the shape of my body and the curve of my backside. Mom wanted Dad to have an elegant, black tie, night time funeral in a beautiful ceremony in the cemetery overlooking the port. Apparently, Mom and Dad used to have picnics up under the small oak tree—which is a big oak tree now. How they could stomach eating in a cemetery is beyond me. I straighten my hair and wear down, so I’m able to use it as a curtain if I need to.

I clip in two pearl earrings and hear a knock at the door. I step out of my room, but Mom rushes down the hallway before me. Who are we expecting on a day like today?

I hear his voice—deep and rough. My body isn’t stupid. It stands to attention recognizing the voice immediately. I march down the hallway and see his beautiful frame standing before me in a casual, all black suit. Darryl and Jackson’s faces smile at me from behind Seth. Seth’s eyes rake me, obviously liking my dress and if Seth likes it, then this is definitely not something I should wear to a funeral.

“What are you doing here?” I say, almost out of breath.

“Ask your Mom.”

She smiles sweetly at me. “I invited them. I know how important they were to your father. Everyone he loved should be here today.”

My eyes water and I rush to her, squeezing her against me. The fact that she did something so selfless on a day like today means more to me than anything, and today is going to go so much smoother because of it. I turn to Seth, wiping my eyes careful not to smudge my make-up.

“You’re supposed to be in Vegas.”

He shrugs. “So I’ll go tomorrow.”

I hold my arms out and he comes to me. I wrap my arms around his waist. I haven’t heard his voice since the night we spoke on the phone. Every time he calls, I miss it and every time I call back, he doesn’t answer. It’s exhausting, but he’s here now and my day just got infinitely better.

Jackson and Darryl hand Mom and me a bouquet of flowers. The blues, reds, yellows, pinks and oranges all mesh together so beautifully in their green wrapper. Mom drops them into vases and positions them around the house.

Jackson and Darryl sit on the couch, having a conversation in low tones while I sit on the arm of Dad’s armchair, leaning into Seth. His thumb glides over my thigh in tiny circles and I close my eyes absorbing all of his touch. Another knock on the door forces my eyes open.

“How many more people did you call?” I ask Mom as she rushes to the door. When it opens, I can’t believe it.

“Chase!” I squeal, leaping off of the armchair. Mom squeezes him and I wait in line impatiently. It has been too long since I’ve seen my brother, way too long. He looks exactly as I remember, shaven dark hair, big bright green eyes and still so much taller than me.

He pulls me into him and I almost cry. Seeing him brings back the shock of our father’s death. He’s so happy to see us, but he carries the same sadness in his eyes as Mom and I.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He groans, squeezing me until I’m sure I’ve run out of breath. Darryl, Seth and Jackson rise to their feet as my brother steps in to greet them. Chase meets people all the time, so chatting and being friendly comes easy to him. Darryl and Jackson go back to sitting and talking on the couch, but my brother hangs around to chat to Seth.

I step closer to them, trying to eavesdrop in on the conversation. When I get within ear reach my brother excuses himself to go get dressed in his room. I open my mouth to ask Seth what he thought of my brother, but Mom’s entrance into the room with a large serving tray of snacks grabbed my attention.

“Mom, we’re leaving in fifteen minutes. That’s a little excessive.”

She laughs and it’s a genuine laugh that warms my ears. “The boys will take care of it, won’t you?”

Jackson and Darryl sit forward, licking their lips at the sliced fruit, potato chips and dip. Having a full house is making Mom happy which makes me happy. She loves being busy and if it makes today easier for her then the more the merrier.

***

“We look upon the final resting place of Richard James.”

Mom leans against my brother’s shoulder, crying, as they lower my dad into the ground. My eyes are puffy and they sting from all of the make-up I’m wearing. I feel so stupid for wearing make-up. Of course I was going to cry. What the hell was I thinking? Seth holds my hand in his and his thumb brushes across the top soothingly. I look up at him. The surrounding fire torches send flickering lights across his face. It’s pinched into a sad expression and I know my dad’s death affects him more than he likes to lead on. Next to Seth and I, Jackson comforts Selena who chose to show up today in a pair of black slacks, a black tee and a beautiful knee length cardigan. She looks elegant, yet casual and I wish Mom bought me something more comfortable. This dress is so thin I can feel the cool breeze hit my body. I might as well be naked. When I look back at the coffin and realize for the one millionth time that my dad—who I saw a few days ago—is lying in there absent a heartbeat; the tears begin flowing. I lean against Seth’s side as silent tears stream down my face and he slings an arm over my shoulder. Once my father is in he ground, the MC asks us to throw in a handful of dirt and say our goodbyes. One by one we throw in handfuls of dirt and cry and talk to him. I see this kind of stuff on T.V and I always find it awkward when people talk to a coffin or a tombstone. I never really understood the purpose of it, until now.

“I love you,” I cry, sprinkling the soil in on the black box. “I’ll come visit you all the time, I promise.”

I rise to my feet to let the next person say goodbye. I seek Mom out, she’s surrounded by loved ones and family members, thankfully they’ve already expressed their condolences to me and I don’t have any more left to listen to. Finalizing Dad’s death sucks. It’s all one huge, exhausting process that offers no privacy...but it does offer closure and that’s better, I suppose.

I walk off a little bit to catch my breath and decide where to go from here. I can’t go back to my apartment and leave Mom alone. In a few weeks I’m not going to be able to afford my apartment and what about Dad’s gym? There’s still electricity, water and everything else to be paid on it every few months. I can’t afford it. Mom will be forced to look for a job, but no one will hire her. She hasn’t worked in over thirty years—not exactly an asset. I exhale and sit on the grass, watching the beautiful, night time ceremony in name of my father.

“Can I sit?” Blade’s voice startles me. I didn’t even see him approach me.

Blade showed up at the beginning of the ceremony. It’s only fair, I guess. He did know my dad for a long time.

“Sure.”

He sits next to me and the clear smell of vodka filters in through my nostrils. He hands me the bottle he’s holding in his hand and I take it, swallowing a large mouthful. I clench my teeth and make a strange noise at the base of my throat. Blade chuckles. “You never could handle your alcohol.”

I laugh once. “That’s okay, you drank enough for the both of us.”

His dimples fade along with his smile and he averts his gaze. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

Yes, you did.
This whole thing with Seth started because I wanted to get back at Blade. Now look, we’re in love, more in love than I have ever been. “You tell me.”

“I did.” He takes a large swig of his vodka. “I was given so many chances...” Blade shakes his head. “You held on for as long as you could, I don’t blame you for giving up.”

I don’t reply. Deep and meaningful conversations with exes seems to me to be a ‘not okay when in a new relationship’ kind of thing. However, I still appreciate his realization. Maybe he’ll treat the next girl better.

“Do you love him?” There’s bitterness in his tone, but I can’t not answer the question, not when I know the answer.

“Yes, absolutely.”

“And him? Does he love you back?”

I bit back a smile. I can’t help it. I smile whenever I talk about Seth or the fact that he loves me. “He does.”

He sighs and forces himself to his feet. “Then I’ve definitely lost. Take care of yourself.” He strolls away from me.

Seth passes by Blade on his way over to me and doesn’t spare a glance in his direction. He’s smiling and I’m relieved he isn’t confused about Blade and I sitting all the way over here all alone together.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” He extends his hand to me and I take it as he pulls me to my feet.

Before he says anything else he shrugs out of his jacket and places it over my shoulders.
Always thinking of me.

“You’re making me anxious, what is it?”

“I’ve spoken to you mother about it and she’s given me the go ahead, but I want to talk to you about it before I do anything.”

“Okay...”

“How would you feel about me purchasing your father’s gym? I’ll keep it exactly the same in every way.”

I’m stunned. “You want to buy Dad’s gym?”

“I do. I love the gym. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it.”

So many thoughts run through my mind, but I keep falling back to one specific thought. I can’t afford to keep it.

“You can buy it. It’s yours.” Although I’m sad it won’t be in our family anymore. I’m happy that someone like Seth wants it. He wouldn’t do anything to ruin it.

His smile widens. “There’s one more thing. I want you to manage it.”

I choke. “Me?”

He reaches out and grasps my shoulders. “It’ll be yours. You can control everything that happens to it. I know you love that place...”

Tears well in my eyes. Damn it. How many times does this man have to surprise me? “You’d do that for me?”

Seth steps forward, planting a kiss on my forehead. “I’d do anything for you.”

I throw my arms around his neck pulling his mouth onto mine. If my family wasn’t here and we weren’t currently standing in a cemetery, I’d take him right here, right now. But sadly, there are times and places for everything. He pulls away, leaving me breathless. “I have to be at the airport at three a.m. to catch my flight, but I’ll be back in eight days and you can thank me then.” Even in the dim light I can see his eyes flare with pleasure.

I sigh. “I’ll be counting down the days.”

“Wow, way to make me feel crazy.” He says, leaning in and kissing my neck.

“How?”

“Because I’ll be counting down the seconds.” His tongue shoots out of his mouth and glides against my skin. I tilt my head to the side, giving him more flesh to lick. When he gets to my ear lobe he takes it in his mouth, eliciting a moan from me. He chuckles deeply as he straightens his stance. “C’mon. Let’s help your Mom home.”

***

Mom was a little down when we brought her home, which is to be expected. She went straight to her room, leaving Chase and I with Seth and the boys.

“Eight days.” I clarify with Seth.

He’s leaning against the car smiling lazily at me.

“Eight days.”

I hold his hips and reach up to plant a quick kiss on his lips. I don’t want to put on a show in front of my brother. I still don’t know what he thinks of Seth and I’m eager to question him about it when we go inside. I watch Darryl, Jackson and Seth drive away from the house, and when I turn around to talk to Chase he’s no longer directly behind me, but over by the tree. He swings the tire swing back and forth.

“So you’re dating Seth? Not Blade.”

I sit down on the grass. “That’s right.”

“What happened there?”

My brother and I have always been close, but he’s never around long enough to actually know any details about my life and contacting him is near impossible.

“I moved on.”

He chuckles, crouching down to stick his ass in the swing. Surprisingly, the old rope supports his weight. “Vague. Since when are you vague with me?”

I exhale and recap the whole situation. Chase scoffs and laughs appropriately. By the time I’m finished, I’ve successfully converted him to team Seth.

“He seems like a good guy. I mean, sometimes he looks at you like he wants to consume you, but you
are
beautiful so I’m not going to hold that against him.”

My cheeks grow red hot. Seth doesn’t care much for subtlety. Silence falls between us and he rocks in the swing.

“What I wouldn’t give to see Dad’s face again.” He runs his hands over his forehead. “I always thought that it was okay to be away from here for long periods at a time. I assumed when it’s over, I’d come back and things would be like I never left...”

My chest aches for Chase. I saw Dad not long ago. It’s been too long ago for him.