Authors: Emily Goodwin
I smiled. “I probably would have.” Raeya shivered. “I’m fine now. That freakout was good for me. Let’s go back in.”
Padraic and I were on first watch that night. It was windy and the old house creaked and groaned with each gust.
“
Where did you learn how to hotwire cars?” he asked.
“
Juvie.”
“
They teach you that in juvenile detention?”
“
Of course not,” I laughed.
“
Then how…?”
“
I met someone in juvie. We exchanged lots of fun information.”
“
Why were you in juvie?”
“
I, uh, beat someone up,” I admitted shamefully.
“
Why?”
I shrugged. “They insulted Raeya.” Really, Ted had given me a speech about how we should demonstrate nonviolence even when tempted. I didn’t anticipate getting arrested. And I really didn’t
beat up
the guy. I punched him in the face, breaking his nose, after he called Raeya fat. But, after that, I lived with my grandparents.
“
I really don’t get you.” He ran his hands through his hair, tousling it. “Every time I think I can see through the cracks in your tough-girl exterior, you fill them back up. I think I know who you are and then you slip through my fingers.”
“
I don’t even know who I am.” The words slipped from my mouth on their own accord. Suddenly, I felt exposed and naked. I got up and made a deal of looking through every window for zombies. I avoided talking to anyone but Ray for the rest of the night.
The horses—all three of them—came racing across the pasture the next morning. Nostrils flaring, they stopped, huffing for air. I couldn’t help the fondness they stirred in my heart. Too excited to ponder what had spooked them, I raced into the house to get Raeya. Lisa, Sonja, and Zoe were giddy with excitement. Like most girls, they loved horses. They rushed to get their coats on.
Zoe was saying that she was going to find treats for them when she slipped. I thought maybe she stepped on her scarf. She tumbled down the stairs, landing at the bottom, unmoving. Terror coursed my veins as I rushed over.
“
Padraic!” I screamed, my voice threatening to crack. “No, no, no! Zoe!” I shook her then madly felt for a pulse. “Padraic! Hilary! Help!” Tears filled my eyes. Zoe didn’t move. “Zoe, Zoe!”
Padraic and Raeya got there first. I moved out of the way to let Padraic work a miracle. Raeya grabbed my hands. I choked back a sob. She hugged me. Everyone else had rushed over now. Sonja held on to Lisa, both staring with fear in their eyes.
“
She’s alive,” Padraic said, gently scooping Zoe’s unconscious body up. He looked at Hilary, their eyes conveying a message. Hilary nodded and turned away, tears streaming down her face. Padraic carried Zoe up the stairs and laid her down in my bed. We tucked her under the covers. “Let her rest,” Padraic told us, his face grim.
Zoe’s eyes fluttered open.
“
Zoe,” I whispered, moving to her side.
“
I saw the horses.” Her voice was a faint echo. “They are beautiful.”
“
Yes, yes they are.”
“
The white one is my favorite.”
I looked at Raeya. How did Zoe know…she hadn’t seen them? Raeya’s mouth opened in awe and she shook her head.
Padraic knelt next to the bed. “Do you want anything, Zoe? Food, water…anything?”
“
I’m kinda thirsty,” she answered.
“
I’ll get you a drink,” Raeya said and rushed out of the room, pushing past everyone. She brought the water to Zoe, who barely had the strength to hold the glass. We all took a turn sitting and talking to Zoe.
“
Orissa?” she feebly called.
“
Yeah?”
“
Will you sit with me?”
“
Of course, Zoe.” I carefully sat next to her. She lifted the covers for me to stick my feet under. Painstakingly, she sat up and rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and fought off tears.
“
I’m tired,” she whispered.
“
Go to sleep. I’ll stay right here.”
“
Ok.” As if he knew what was going on, Finickus gracefully leapt onto the bed. He rubbed against Zoe, purring loudly. Padraic told everyone that Zoe really did need to rest. I don’t know where they went or what they did, but the room emptied.
“
Orissa?” she said.
“
Yeah?” I answered.
“
I can’t sleep.”
“
Want me to read to you?”
“
No. Will you sing me a song?”
“
Of course.” I nodded, closing my eyes. “What song?”
“
Something pretty.”
“
Ok.” My brain raced. The music I listened to would never be classified as ‘pretty’. I sang the first thing that came to mind from my favorite childhood movie.
“Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight
I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
.”
Tears spilled from my eyes, running down my cheeks. Struggling to keep my voice level, I had to pause and take a breath.
“Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always
Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all
And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more”
Uncontrollable sobs escaped my throat. I wasn’t able to finish the song, though it didn’t matter. Zoe’s eyes were closed. Her breathing was shallow and weak. I kissed the top of her head, crying even harder. It wasn’t fair. She had made it this far, escaped certain death and defied the odds. She was so young, so innocent. I closed my eyes and prayed to trade places with her. She had so much ahead of her.
“
Take me,” I whispered. I had my chance. I’d pissed away my life, making bad decisions and doing things to purposely hurt and anger people. I wasn’t a good person. I lived for myself and never gave a damn about anyone other than me.
Zoe was everything I wasn’t. It wasn’t right. I couldn’t stop shivering. Gingerly, I moved Zoe off of me and got up to get another blanket to keep Zoe warm.
“
You have a beautiful voice.”
I didn’t see him, sitting in the dark hall. His voice startled me.
“
Thanks,” I responded and wiped my eyes, not wanting Padraic to see my tears. In the dim light, I could see that he had been crying as well. “Is there anything we can do?”
“
Stay with her,” he whispered. I nodded, my heart breaking. I pulled a quilt off the bed in one of the guest rooms. I laid down next to Zoe, pulling the quilt over both of us. I held onto her little hand all night, waiting for a miracle.
Sunlight sparkled through the frosted window.
And Zoe never woke up.
I don’t remember calling his name. His arms wrapped around me and I buried my face in his chest, crying.
“
I don’t want to do this anymore,” I admitted.
“
Do what, Orissa?” he asked, smoothing my hair.
“
Live in this world.” I sniffled. “You think I’m tough but I’m not. I’m not at all.”
“
Yes you are, Orissa.”
I wiped tears away, showing him the proof. “Obviously not.”
“
You’re human.” He pulled me in and rested his head on mine. “
Dá fhaid é an lá tiocfaidh an tráthnóna.”
I had no idea what he said. I let him hold me for a minute longer, willing the pain away. He ran his hand over my cheek, turning my face up to his. When his lips pressed against mine, I broke away.
“
We need to bury the body,” I said, bringing tears to my eyes. My vision blurred as I began to cry. I numbly walked out of the room and found Raeya.
Spencer and Jason dug the grave. Raeya and I gently wrapped a soft white sheet around Zoe. The funeral party marched through the cold November wind to the top of the small hill. Raeya held my hand as Hilary spoke. Lisa found a bundle of dead, dry flowers. She dropped them in the hole one by one.
We piled rocks on top of her grave as a marker and to keep zombies from digging up her frail, lifeless body. I knelt next to the grave, taking slow, controlled breaths to keep from crying. Wind rattled the dead branches. I bent my head, letting the tears fall.
Someone screamed. I looked up to see a dozen or more zombies crashing through the forest. I swallowed my pain, twisting it into rage. I grabbed the shovel, my body flying over to the nearest zombie. Using the shovel like a spear, I shoved it into the zombie’s face. I held the handle and kicked the rotting body off. I spun around, taking the side of another’s face off.
I was vaguely aware of someone calling my name. All I wanted to do was kill the sons of bitches. They were everywhere. Surrounding us, circling us. A few had fresh blood on their faces and they moved fast.
Argos yelped. I wasn’t losing him today. I grabbed the back of a zombie’s shirt, yanking it off my dog. It fell to the ground and I used the heel of my boot to break its skull. Since it was in the gummy phase, my foot sunk into putrid mush.
“
Rissy!” Raeya screamed. I whirled around, ready to defend her. She was standing a good twenty yards away, madly waving for me to follow her and flee. I swung the shovel one last time. It hit a zombie in the head, its ear smashing and sticking to the metal. I dropped it, grabbed Argos by the collar and sprinted toward Ray.
When we got back into the house, I realized Hilary and Spencer hadn’t made it. We had no time to grieve. Knowing we had mere minutes until the zombies pounded down the front door, we scrambled to pack up what we could. If there weren’t so freaking many, I’d stay in the house, hope the bars on the windows held up and the door could withstand the pressure.
And then we’d all die.
There were too many. They would surround the house, doing anything to get in and we’d be sitting ducks. We had to leave. I raced up the stairs to grab the Berretta and my bag. Zoe’s pink stuffed cat was tangled in the blankets. I shoved it into my bag.
Padraic took Lauren and Jason downstairs to load up the weapons. Raeya, Lisa, and Sonja frantically threw food into bags. We didn’t have time to get blankets or fuel. With Finickus tucked under my arm I bound out the front door. Zombies groaned, only feet away. I fired, taking one out and scaring the cat. He jumped out of my arms, scratching my stomach, and bolted.
I couldn’t think about it. We were lucky the cars were kept close to the front door. Our meager supplies were thrown into the back of the truck. Padraic, Jason, Sonja, and Lauren got into the Range Rover and Raeya, Lisa, Argos, and I piled into the truck.
Zombies were everywhere. As if someone shook the hive, they swarmed about, moaning and searching for food. We just drove, heading south. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode. My eyes were wide in terror as I tried to fathom how things went from bad to worse in just seconds.
Once the shock wore off, I let the truck coast to a stop. We were in a wooded, hilly part of the state; not a good place to stop. We were screwed. Royally screwed. I didn’t know how we were going to get out of this one.
Pull it together,
I told myself. Nodding to my own thoughts, I forced myself to take a deep breath, hold it to the count of four and let it out. I repeated the stupid breathing exercise until I had more control. Padraic pulled up next to me. His blue eyes were bloodshot and he was shaking.
“
What do we do?” he feebly asked, his voice on the verge of breaking.
“
We keep going. Find open land, um, a safe place so to speak. Hole up, then…then keep going.”
“
Can’t we go back?” Lisa asked.
I shook my head. “No. Maybe later, like days later. You saw how many there were.”
“
Where did they come from?” Raeya asked distantly. She sat unmoving, her brown eyes fixed on nothing.
“
I don’t know. They must move around, looking for food.”
“
There were so many,” Raeya whispered, her lip trembling.
I raked my hair to the side and started braiding, needing to do something with my hands. “Maybe they…they join up or something.” I pulled the hairband from my wrist and wrapped it around the braid. “Drive. We keep driving.”
And we did.
The low fuel alarm ominously dinged. I knew Raeya heard it and could feel her eyes on me. I bit my lip but kept driving. We were on a stretch of country road, with nothing but fields on either side. Soon, I prayed, we’d come to a small town or a gas station or a truck stop. The siphons were still in the Range Rover. We’d be able to get gas and be on our way.
We found a small town alright. A small ghost town with no cars and no gas. Deciding it was a good of place as any, we stopped. It was desolate and empty. Not bothering to unload any of our stuff, the seven of us got out. This ghost town wasn’t as nice as the last one in which we stayed. Houses were run down before they became abandoned; there were open doors and broken windows.
I went in first, gun raised. The house smelled old and forgotten but not disgusting. It would work. We had no candles and no matches. I had kept the one, small flashlight in my bag. Before the sun set, I went back to the truck to sort through what little supplies we were able to get.