Controlled: The Dollhouse, Part Two (4 page)

H
e plunged
inside of me and I screamed. The sound echoed in the stairwell and probably carried all the way up to the roof for the whole hotel to hear.

I
t was
unlike any sensation that I had ever experienced. I wasn’t a virgin, but the fumbling attempts at sex I’d experienced from the few guys I’d been with was nothing compared to this.

H
is lips pressed
against my neck as he withdrew and pushed in again slowly — so slowly!

“
Y
ou’re so fucking tight
,” he murmured against my neck, nipping lightly at the skin with his teeth. “Put your legs around me.”

M
y hips rose
and I wrapped my legs around him, my feet hooking together at his back. The new position allowed him to go deeper, pressing into what felt like the very end of me. He was big enough for it to be just on the right side of painful. But each push of his hips sent frissons of pleasure coursing up my spine.

H
e began to move faster
, maintaining a steady rhythm. I heard faraway voices in the hallway outside the door as a group of people walked by. I was suddenly reminded of the fact that we were in public. The door could swing open at any moment and we would be discovered.

T
he thought
only excited me more.

I
tightened
around him and he groaned. His thrusts became harder and faster, but still he maintained control of himself. I desperately wanted to break that careful restraint.

M
y hands moved
to caress the sides of his face, knowing that he couldn’t stop me if he wanted to keep holding me up. The beginnings of a five o’clock shadow were rough underneath the tips of my fingers.

T
his time I kissed him
, so light that it was barely more than the touch of a feather. He kept his lips soft and pliant as I moved over them, kissing him in a way that was sweet and untutored, but full of emotions that I couldn’t adequately describe.

H
is fingers tightened
on my hips, digging harshly into them, and I moaned into his mouth.

H
e drove into me
, over and over again until it was nearly to much to take. There was no tenderness in his movements, only need and pure lust. Pleasure mounted in an ever-increasing spiral of sensation. I tensed against him, every muscle in my body straining for release.

“
C
ome for me
, Dalea,” he whispered against my mouth. “Come with me.”

T
he orgasm shuddered through me
, more powerful than any that I had ever experienced before. It left me gasping and shuddering against him. I heard his answering groan and his body stiffened as a greater wetness bloomed between my thighs. My body collapsed against his in exhaustion, my forehead falling to his shoulder.

I
was barely
conscious of him lowering me to the floor until my feet touched the ground. He continued to help support my weight as I slowly came back to myself.

H
e collected himself quickly
. The cold mask swiftly descending over his features was apparent even in the dim light. He methodically straightened his clothes — adjusting the crooked bowtie and doing up his tuxedo pants. The jacket lay in a rumpled heap on the floor and he quickly brushed it off before donning it.

A
side from the
stray strand of dark hair that flopped messily over his forehead, he could have come straight from the ballroom. It was as if the last few minutes had never happened.

A
nger swelled in me
— irrational, but too powerful to subdue. I knew what would happen next, he would go back as if nothing had happened and leave me here — desperately wanting more — just like he always had before.

O
nly instead of
the bruises on my body, he had left me with a wet ache to remember him by.

B
ecause I had finally figured
it out. I knew exactly what kind of a doll I was — a marionette. A doll on strings to be posed and danced to the whims of its puppeteer, then cast away in a collapsed pile of limbs until it was needed again.

J
ulian must have noticed
the change in me because he watched me closely, green eyes bright even in the darkness. “Are you alright.”

“
O
f course
.” I reached down and pulled up my pants, feeling suddenly dirty.

“
I
want
to see you again.”

I
gave
him a humorless smile as I buttoned my shirt. “I’m sure that you do.”

H
e adjusted
the fold of one of his sleeves, but didn’t take his eyes from me. His calculating gaze reminded me of a predator searching for weakness. “Will I?”

“
I
don’t know
.” It felt like I was hurtling through space, too fast into a vast unknown. “I guess it depends.”

“
O
n what
?”

“
O
n whether or
not you’re willing to tell me about your wife.”

“
O
n whether or
not you’re willing to tell me about your wife.”

I
watched
his face shut down, a cold mask descending over his features that obscured any emotion that may have lain underneath.

F
or a moment
, I wondered if he would answer me at all. His eyes revealed nothing, but I refused to be the one to break the silence.

“
A
nd what do
you think there is to tell?”

“
Y
ou are married
.” It wasn’t a question. Even in the dim light I could see the glint of the wedding ring on his left hand.

“
Y
es
.”

I
t shouldn’t have rocked
me — the simple declaration that I already knew to be true — but I felt a cold settle over me. It was as if my heart was gripped by icy fingers, hard enough that I could barely breathe.

“
I
s she here tonight
?” I asked, proud of my voice for not cracking.

“
Y
es
.”

I
could only imagine it
: some gorgeous and cultured woman, dressed in a fancy dress to go to a party with all of her friends to honor her husband. I wondered if she sat at one of those front tables and proudly watched him take the stage.

D
id
he even finish his speech before running after me?

A
small
, dark voice whispered inside of me, flattered at the thought.
You see,
it said,
how much he wants you.

“
A
nd this isn’t
the first time, is it?” I wasn’t just asking about this, but about everything — the Dollhouse, all of it. I knew what I was, but I wanted to hear him say it. I was one of probably dozens of girls. Not nameless, but so close as to be nearly interchangeable.

“
N
o
, it’s not.”

I
laughed
but it wasn’t a happy sound. “Of course not.”

H
e looked at me oddly
, like I’d said something that didn’t quite make sense to him. “What do you want from me, Dalea?”

“
N
othing
.”
At least, nothing that you’re willing to give.
The pain of it made me bold. “What does your wife think of you fucking random girls in the stairwell?”

“
Y
ou don’t know
what you’re talking about. My relationship with my wife is…complicated.”

“
I
know
you’re cheating piece of shit.”

“
W
atch your mouth
.”

H
e advanced
on me so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to react. His hand was on my chest, mere inches from my throat, and shoving me hard against the wall.

I
pushed
at his hand with both of my mine but it was like trying to move a boulder. My heart beat too fast, not from excitement and desire this time, but from real fear.

W
e stared at each other
, his angry face only inches from mine. His nostrils flared with each harsh breath that he took.

W
hatever he was planning
to say or do, I wouldn’t ever know. Just as his lips parted, the stairwell door was thrown open. A group of loud people in fancy clothes crashed past us, their voices echoing off of the walls.

J
ulian attention moved away
from me, and his grip on me loosened. I used his distraction to slip from between him and the wall

I
managed
to make it to the door before he could stop me, but his voice carried over me in the darkness.

“
Y
ou can’t run
from me, Dalea.”

“
H
ow was the benefit
?”

M
iranda’s
smiling face was the first thing to greet me when I walked into the diner on Monday for my lunch shift.

T
he diner was completely empty
, save for the two of us, despite the fact that we’d been open for at least an hour. Miranda had offered to open by herself so I could sleep a little later, but I wondered if I should have bothered to come in at all.

“
W
hat
?” It took me a minute to parse her words. I’d forgotten that I ever told her about it. “I mean..it was good. Easy money.”

“
B
e
careful of that easy money, baby girl. It always ends up being harder than you think.”

H
er gaze was
a little too knowing as she watched stick my bag in the cubby hole under the register.

“
D
on’t worry
,” I said, shaking off the feeling of unease. “It was just a one time thing, believe me.”

M
iranda nodded
and the heavily hair-sprayed beehive on her head barely quivered. I always wondered if she’d had the crazy hairstyle sewn in place.

“
W
hatever you say
, sugar.”

I
slid
past her to get behind the counter. The black aprons hung on a hook on the wall just like they always did. I wanted to grab them all and fling them across the room. It felt like the walls were closing in on me and I couldn’t escape.

“
D
id you have a good weekend
?” I asked Miranda, desperate to distract myself.

“
A
lways
.” She gave me a cheeky grin. “Did I tell you, I signed up for some classes at the community college. Pre-nursing stuff.”

“
T
hat’s great
!” I said and meaning it. “Starting in the fall?”

“
H
opefully
. I still have some placement tests to take.”

“
Y
ou’ll do great
.”

“
I
know
I’ll be the oldest one there, but it’s never too late right?”

“
O
f course not
.” If anyone deserved something better, it was Miranda. I wished I had a way out that was that clearcut.

“
I
got you a catalog
, too. You know, if you’re interested.” Miranda gave me a knowing look. “Getting back to school might be good for you.”

I
shook
my head and focused on neatly arranging the salt shakers that lined the shelf below the counter. “I don’t have the money to take classes, Miranda. I need to work, you know that.”

“
O
h
, I don’t know. Between grants and maybe a scholarship, you could probably get as much money for going to school as you do working here.”

I
really didn’t
like the turn of this conversation. “I don’t have time for classes right now.”

“
Y
ou just did so well
last time, it seems a shame to let it all go to waste.”

I
would kill
to be able to go back to school and graduate. Maybe someday have a job doing something that I could actually be proud of.

B
ut even if
I managed to get enough money in scholarships and loans to pay for the classes, that didn’t do much for getting the rent paid or keeping food on the table. Who was going to pick up the slack for my family while I was out doing something for myself?

F
ucking nobody
, that was who.

“
I
think most
schools frown on you moving your family into your dorm room,” I said, more testily than I intended.

“
N
o need to get snappy
.” Miranda gave me a reproving look. “I’m just trying to help.”

“
I
know
, I’m sorry.” I sighed and surveyed the empty dining room. At this rate, even with a lunch rush, I was looking at taking almost nothing home today in tips. “I’ve just been really on edge lately.”

M
iranda dramatically rolled her eyes
. “Oh, I’ve noticed. You’ve been walking around here like you swallowed a porcupine and you’re just waiting for it to come out the other end.”

T
he image dragged
a laugh out of me. “That’s one way to put it, I guess.”

H
er face grew concerned
. “Your mom is still doing better, right?”

“
S
he is
,” I confirmed, wanting to reassure Miranda. “The tumors have shrunk by nearly half and she’s feeling more like herself.”

“
G
ood
. And Luis’s been showing up for all of his shifts and working that cute little tail off. Does he still have a court date coming up?”

“
Y
eah
, but the public defender is hoping he’ll just get probation.”

“
E
ven though it
’s not his first offense.”

“
T
hat’s
what the lawyer said. He’s only been caught for misdemeanors before now.”

“
I
t sounds
like things are better than they could be.” Miranda’s voice was casual and she didn’t look at me as she adjusted the arrangement of silk daisies that sat next to the cash register. “That all sounds like good news to me.”

I
realized then
what she was doing. What excuse did I have to be walking around like a storm cloud when things in my life seemed to be turning up?

“
S
top it
, Miranda.”

“
W
hat
?” She gave me a look of practiced innocence, but I saw right through it. “All I’m saying is that if there’s something else going on in your life that’s got you down, I just wish you would talk to me about it.”

H
er face was so
full of understanding that I had to look away. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“
T
ell
me to butt out of your business, if you want. But don’t lie to me.”

“
W
hat do
you want me to say?” I grabbed a stack of napkins and began aggressively folding one on the countertop. “Maybe I’m just going through a phase.”

M
iranda scoffed
. “Is that what you’re calling it?”

I
grabbed
a fork and knife to wrap in the napkin. “Can we please just drop it?”

“
O
kay
.” She joined me in folding silverware, completing one in half the time that it took me. “But I’m always here to listen when you’re ready to talk.”

“
I
know
.” I reached out to touch her arm, trying to convey without words that I still needed her support. “I appreciate it. Really.”

W
e folded
silverware in companionable silence until a large stack had formed between us.

T
he bell dinged
above the door as it opened and I eagerly looked up, hoping it was a customer.

I
nstead
, Zach stood in the open doorway with a bouquet of long-stemmed red roses in his arms. He held them aloft, a sardonic smile on his face.

“
S
pecial delivery for Dalia Moreno
.”

“
Y
ou have got
to be kidding me.” I slammed down the roll of silverware in my hands before coming out from behind the counter. “What are you, stalking me?”

T
he cheeky grin
he wore didn’t falter. “Someone has a high opinion of themselves.”

I
glared at him
. “So you showing up where I work is just a coincidence?”

H
e pointed
to the tag on his shirt, where the words
Fifth Street Flowers
was embroidered on the fabric. “Catering doesn’t pay all the bills.”

“
O
h
.”

“
I
saw
the name on the delivery slip and wondered if it was the same girl.” The smile he wore was openly mocking me. “It’s nice to se you again, too.”

I
wanted
to crawl into the nearest hole and never come out. “I just assumed—“

“
T
hey were from me
?” He asked, eyebrows raised. “I mean, you’re a cute girl and all. But I don’t really get down on following the ladies around like a dog looking for scraps. Nobody’s worth fighting the traffic downtown.”

“
I
got it
,” I said sharply. “Just give them to me and go.”

“
W
hat
, no tip?”

“
N
ope
.”

“
W
ho’s your friend
?” Miranda asked, coming up behind me.

“
H
e’s not my friend
, just a delivery boy,” I said quickly. “And now he’s leaving.”

“
Y
ou’re breaking my heart
,” Zack said and handed me the bouquet.

M
iranda leaned forward
to give him a few dollars. “Thank you.”

Z
ach accepted
the tip with an exaggerated bow. “I’ve heard the peach pie here is amazing. I’d love a slice.”

“
O
f course
.” Miranda rushed back to the kitchen, leaving the two of us alone.

“
I
hope
you’re getting that pie to go.” I said, as soon as she was out of earshot.

“
O
r I could hang
around for awhile.” He went to one of the tables and collapsed into a chair. “Haven’t you missed me?”

“
N
ot really
.” I turned to set the roses on the countertop, hesitating to admire the perfect shape of each bloom. “No one’s ever sent me flowers before.”

“
I
didn’t figure
you for the roses and rich guy type, but I guess I was wrong.”

I
turned
to glare at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“
I
t means
, I saw you run off at the benefit and I saw that guy — the suit — go after you.”

I
kept my face neutral
, careful to give nothing away. “Is that it?”

“
I
s there more
?”

“
I
don’t have
to tell you anything.”

“
J
ust a friendly warning
.” He shrugged casually but the look in his eyes betrayed his seriousness. “For a guy like that, you’re any easy type of girl to take advantage of.”

I
crossed
my arms over my chest. “You don’t know what kind of girl that I am.”

“
Y
ou’d be surprised
what I know.” Zach said and stood from the chair. “But I got to run, we’ll finish this conversation next time.”

“
T
here isn’t going
to be a next time.”

“
S
omething tells
me there’s more where that came from.” He nodded toward the bouquet. “Check the card. Guess I’m not the only stalker in town.”

I
glared
at him as he left. The bell clanged over the door as it closed behind him, just as Miranda came back into the dining room with a plate of pie in her hand.

“
D
o
you want some ice cream, too…” She trailed off, noticing I was alone. “Where did your friend go?”

“
H
e’s not my friend
,” I reminded her. “Off to another delivery, I guess. Who cares?”

“
W
ell
, I can see why he left if that’s how you were treating him.” She set the pie down on the counter next to the roses. “He seemed like a nice boy and these are such pretty flowers.”