Convergence (67 page)

And that's the way Lorand first saw her when he wiped his eyes, standing and staring at him wide-eyed, too terrified to approach any nearer. She couldn't bear the thought that he would turn his back and walk away from her, determined never to associate with her again. He was just an attractive man she happened to like, no one of any real importance in her life, but if he decided he never wanted to speak to her again. . . .

"Jowi, what's wrong?" he asked at once, deep disturbance in his eyes as he began to move toward her. "Are you here because something terrible has happened? Tell me what it

is
."

"No, nothing has happened," she reassured him at once,
then
couldn't hold back the truth. "I . . . simply decided to surprise you by joining you in here, then suddenly realized you might be . . . offended. I'm sorry, Lorand, and I really didn't intend to embarrass you. I'll leave at once. . . ."

She turned to do just that, unable to look at him any longer. If the anger and outrage came she didn't want to see it, not when simply knowing about it would be bad enough. She managed to take two small, slow steps through the water, and then his hand was on her arm, turning her back to him.

"I'm not offended and I'm not embarrassed," he said slowly and clearly, looking down at her with his beautiful brown eyes. "Surprised and delighted would be a more accurate description of how I feel, especially since I've already washed. Now there's no danger of knocking you over."

His grin tried to coax a smile from her, and what it brought out was a rather silly specimen of one. Jowi knew her smile was foolish, but the relief she felt was out of all proportion to the incident. She felt as if her life had just been saved, as if she'd been given water on the verge of dying of thirst, as though she'd been pulled back from the edge of a precipice. And then his arms reached out and pulled her even closer, making it all a thousand times better.

"Why . . . why don't you try to knock me over in a different way?" she suggested hesitantly in a whisper. "It's the oddest thing, but I feel as if I've . . . never done anything like this before."

"That's because you haven't," he murmured in answer, his dark eyes bright with desire as his big hand stroked her hair. "Not with me, at
least,
and that's going to make all the difference."

That sounded nothing at all like the Lorand she thought she knew, but then his lips came to hers and all coherent thinking was immediately beyond her.
The surge of power passing between them almost did knock her over, and she had to circle his body with her arms in order to stay on her feet. Not that she minded touching him like that, with her entire body as well as her arms. Without knowing it she'd ached to be held by him like that, and now, at last, it was happening.

But that wasn't the only thing happening. Jowi had once had a Middle practitioner in Water magic as a patron, and being in the man's arms had been more pleasurable than being with an ordinary patron. That time, though, was nothing compared to sharing Lorand's kiss and feeling their bodies touch. The power flowed back and forth between them as though they stood in an electrical storm, lightning flaring through their flesh without burning them to nothing.

Although she
was
being burned, and Jowi moaned with the feel of something so intense that it almost reached the threshold of pain. Lorand's lips were consuming hers, his hands now moving over her back and bottom with long, deeply felt caresses, her own hands moving over his body in the same way. But as incredible as the feelings were they also seemed to be building toward something, a something that would take a horribly long time to reach.

And then Jowi felt herself lifted off her feet and put down gently on something soft, which had to be one of the lounging pads on the bath's wooden verge. She hadn't realized they'd left the bath, but didn't really care. Lorand was all she cared about, that and his kiss and caresses. He now knelt above her where she lay, his lips still hungrily clinging to hers. One of his hands now stroked her breast, the other exploring the full length and area of her thigh.

But then she became aware of something else, something impossible. She knew exactly where Lorand kissed and touched her, but all at once she was also being kissed and caressed
inside
her body! That was the only way to describe the searing touches of indescribable ecstasy, as though she were being kissed all over beneath her skin. She writhed beneath Lorand and tried to escape his kiss in order to ask what was happening, but he refused to release her. His own moaning joined hers, but his lips continued to hold hers captive.

And an eternity of time passed like that. Jowi was frantic after the first few minutes, clawing at the bands of steel that were Lorand's arms, writhing against the warm, soft stone that was his body, whimpering as the tide of flames lapped higher and higher until she was all but drowned. She'd never felt that way before without attaining immediate release, but this time there was no relief. On and on it went, building and growing without end—

—until suddenly, exquisitely, Lorand was beginning to enter her.
She raised her body to meet and welcome him, feeling as though she'd been waiting for nothing else. So large and hard he was, the most perfect of men, and as he fit himself within her she felt her talent reach to him without her conscious effort. Balance was the ruling aspect of her life, but where it was possible to bring balance to raging emotions, so was it possible to remove the balance in the most desirable way. Lorand groaned as he felt a rush of wild perfection turned just far enough to be out of his reach, but not so far that he couldn't eventually make contact. All he had to do was begin the most natural act between men and women, the most wonderful ever conceived of.

And that was exactly what he did. His stroking was so deep and hard that Jowi thought she would die of the pleasure. Her body worked to match his movement completely on its own, as her mind was too busy reveling in ecstasy to direct it. On and on it went, the perfect blending of man and woman, and when release came it
was long moments
in the ending. Jowi shuddered in incredible delight and clung to Lorand, and he held her so tightly that she never wanted to be released again.

When it was finally and completely ended, Lorand pulled over another lounging pad and lay down beside her. They were both breathing heavily and covered in the fine sweat of their lovemaking, and when she managed to turn to him he leaned close and kissed her nose.

"Somehow I knew it would be like that," he said, reaching out with one hand to brush her hair back. "It's now perfectly clear why you were the most popular courtesan in Rincam-mon. There can't be another woman like you in the entire empire."

"And there can't be another man like
you,"
she said with another of those smiles she considered so foolish, reaching out herself to touch his chest. "I've never experienced anything like that, and I wish you would tell me what you did. I know it sounds silly, but it was almost as if you were inside me in more ways than one."

"I was," he answered with a grin, putting his own hand over hers on his chest. "I've never even thought of using my talent in that way before, but I
needed
to be inside you in as many ways as possible. Physicians and surgeons are practitioners of Earth magic, you know, so you shouldn't be surprised. How do you think surgeons operate?
By cutting people open?"

"Of course not, silly," she responded with a laugh. "Any surgeon who had to cut people open would have very few patients. And you're
right,
I
should
have realized that that was what you were doing. I suppose I got sidetracked into thinking that Earth magic just covered soil and growing things and metal and animals.
Probably because you mentioned weaving strands of earth during your session.
I wonder why they didn't use something else."

"Probably because facility with one part of the aspect can be translated into facility with the others," he suggested with a shrug. "But with the testing authority involved, there's no way of knowing for certain. Those people are—a waste of time to talk about, especially when there are more important things to discuss."

"That's right, you did say you wanted to talk about something," Jowi remembered aloud, loving the sensation of his flesh against her hand. "We'd probably have more fun doing something else again, but you've had a hard enough
day
. We can talk for a time while you regather your strength."

"I like your enthusiasm," he said with a laugh, "but I admire your understanding even more. I agree that there are better things we might be doing with our time, but this is something that has to be said. Our futures are very uncertain right now, but there's always the chance that we'll somehow get through whatever is ahead and then find that normal lives are possible. If that does happen, I want you to know how I feel."

"I think I already know, because I feel the same way," Jowi said, once again nearly overwhelmed with shyness. "I've . . . never known anyone like you, Lorand, and I can't bear the thought of losing you."

"Yes, you do know how I feel," he said, smiling softly as he tightened his hold on her hand just a little. "That means we have nothing to discuss after all. If we get out of this mess with whole skins, we can be married right away."

"Married?" Jowi echoed, trying to understand what he could possibly be talking about. "I can't marry you, Lorand, not when I'll have a brand-new business to establish. After a while I'll have enough other courtesans in the residence that I should be able to retire, but that won't happen right away. I'll find it easier than Allestine does because I won't keep my people all but enslaved, but it's not something you do in days or weeks. I'll have to—"

"Jowi, listen to me," Lorand interrupted, the smile gone from his face. "Once we're married
I'll
provide for us, including any children we might have. That means you don't have to do a thing but be there with me. All this talk about establishing a residence is just—just—"

"Unnecessary nonsense?" she finished tonelessly, working her hand free of him. "And how unnecessary would it be if something happened to you, and I was left alone—or with children? My mother found a way to survive after my father died, by selling my brothers and sister and me. Until then we came close to starving, and sometimes I wished we'd died along with Daddy. I won't put any children of mine through something like that, and I won't go through it again myself. I intend to find safety and security in any way I have to, and I'm
more sorry
than you know that you can't understand what I mean."

"Unfortunately I do understand," he replied as she began to get to her feet. "I've seen women left alone in Widder-town, and what they had to do to survive was pitiful. But there's something
you
have to understand as well: I can't bear the thought of sharing you with other men. Call it selfishness if you like, but giving strangers what you give me when we share love—the very thought of it tarnishes what we have together, ruining the uniqueness of it for me. Isn't there anything else you can do to satisfy your need for security?"

"What?" she asked very simply, meeting his gaze
again.
"If you can think of something that will do just as well, I'll gladly choose that instead. If you can't. . . ."

She let the words trial off, but he still nodded to show he knew what she meant. Their happiness had disappeared like fog exposed to the morning sun, and there didn't seem to be a way to get it back.

"Let's both think about it," he said with a sigh after a moment. "It's not as if we need the answer immediately, after all, not when we haven't gotten even a single look at the competitions. If one or both of us win seats as Highs, there won't be a problem any longer."

"No, you're right, there won't, be," she said, forcing a smile and taking his offered hand after he rose. "But right now we'd better wash and get out of here. Others might be waiting to come in, and it would be rude to make them wait any longer than necessary."

He gave her a sound of neutral agreement, and they went back into the bath together. But not together, not really, not the way they'd been at first. They both had needs and wants they were chained to, and it was highly unlikely that their differences would ever be resolved. Jowi felt like crying her heart out, but that wouldn't have stopped the pain. As she let the warm water flow over her, she decided to save her tears for when she and Lorand had to part for good.

When that day came she would need more than tears to help, but she already knew she'd never get it. . . .

thirty-seven