Cool Campers (8 page)

“Whoa, dude,” Mark said, as we watched it soar farther and farther away.

“Duuude,” Graham and I said together. The word
dude
began to take on a whole new meaning for us. You could use it any time. If you were amazed by something, instead of saying, “Wow, look at that. It's so cool,” you could simply point and say, “Dude.” And if you didn't like the sandwich you ate, which I didn't, you didn't have to say, “Yuck, that tasted terrible.” You could just make a sour face, shake your head, and say, “Duuuude” really slow, which I did.

As we started to head down the mountain, Mark turned to Graham. “Dude, you might wanna put your shirt back on. You're looking kinda fried.” Graham was getting pretty red except for his freckles. They were turning green.

“Nah, I'm cool,” Graham answered. I knew there was no way he was putting his shirt back on unless Mark did too.

When we made it back to camp, it was almost dinnertime. We had spent most of the day on the mountain. In the cabin, Graham finally tried to put his shirt back on, but by then he was so sunburned he could barely move.

“Check it out!” Tiny pointed to Graham's chest. There was a weird, pale shape in the middle of his sunburn. We all stared at it, trying to figure out where it had come from.

BB squinted at Graham's chest.

“It's from the bear claw necklace,” he said, in his scientific-sounding voice.

“Wow,” Graham said, looking at himself in the mirror. “I must be part bear now.”

 

When we arrived at the mess hall, David immediately ran up to us.

“You guys are so dead,” he said. “I know it was you!”

Graham shrugged. “What are you talking about?”

“My underpants on the statue!” David was fuming.

Toad ran up. “Hold on, everyone. Let's just calm down and eat dinner.”

Now Flex appeared on the scene. “David, get back in line. I'll take care of this.” He walked up to Toad. “I understand your little tadpoles were responsible for last night's prank. I expect an apology to the Muscular Monsters.”

“What makes you think it was my guys?” Toad asked, although he knew it was us. “Did your boys do something to the Toad Claws that would make them want to play a prank on your patrol?”

Flex stood there, puzzled. He obviously didn't want to admit that one of his boys pulled the first prank. “Well, I hope you guys had your fun. Because at the Olympics on Friday, you're going to wish you hadn't messed with us,” Flex said.

“I don't know,” Toad said. “I think you're going down.”

Flex and his patrol laughed. “Lose to you guys? In your dreams.”

“Oh yeah? I'll bet you the Toad Claws beat the Muscular Monsters,” Toad offered confidently.

“You're on,” Flex agreed. “What's the bet?” Just then David jumped forward.

“The bet is that the losers have to wear underpants on their heads to the award ceremony tomorrow night!” I looked around at the Muscular Monsters. Most of them were bigger than us, and probably stronger too.

I was just about to step up, apologize for what we did to David's underwear, and end this whole silly bet when BB shouted, “It's a bet!” The rest of the Toad Claws cheered.

“I hope we look good with underpants on our heads,” I whispered to Graham.

BEFORE DINNER WAS
over everyone started gathering around Mark Herron's table as usual. But Mark stood up and announced, “Sorry, dudes. To welcome the girls to Camp Grizzly I will be performing at the marshmallow roast instead. See you there.” Everyone was a little disappointed, but we all looked forward to seeing what he was going to eat at the campfire.

We all hurried outside to the big fire pit. Fuzzy was already there getting the fire started. He asked our patrol and the Super Snakes to bring some firewood over from the side of the lodge. One of the other patrols was setting up a table where the marshmallows and graham crackers would be, while another was putting out cups and filling them with punch.

Just as the fire got big, the girls came marching down the trail.

Graham jumped for joy and pointed. “There they are! Come on, Raymond! I mean, dude!” We hurried down to meet them.

We looked all over for the girls we knew, but couldn't see anyone. Then we heard a familiar voice behind us.

“Wow, look at those scary Grizzlies.” It was Heidi, standing there with Diane.

Diane rubbed her hand through Graham's hair. “Yeah, but this one looks kind of puny. And I've never seen a Grizzly with red hair and a bad sunburn.”

“Dude, careful with the hair,” Graham said.

“Dude?” Diane laughed.

“Yeah, dude,” Graham repeated. “That's what we call people. Dude.”

“Okay . . . dudes.” Heidi smirked, then she and Diane giggled.

“What's wrong with saying dude?” I asked. “A lot of people say dude and think it sounds cool.”

“Sure, whatever . . . dudes,” Diane said. They giggled again. Graham and I looked at each other. I could tell he was thinking what I was thinking: that Heidi and Diane were making fun of us.

“And you're wearing a necklace now?” Diane added, pointing to Graham's bear claw.

“Of course,” Graham answered. “A lot of dudes, I mean guys, wear them.” Diane bent over to get a closer look.

“Where's Kelly?” Graham asked.

“What are you talking about?” Diane asked. “Kelly went to Camp Hidden Meadows. Didn't I tell you that?”

“No, you just said that you, Heidi, and Kelly were all going to camp.” He looked heartbroken.

“Oops, sorry,” Diane said. She didn't sound very sorry though.

“Last one to roast a marshmallow is a rotten dude!” Heidi called out, before running to the fire. Diane was right behind her. Graham and I just stood there.

“Okay, now I know they're making fun of us,” I told Graham.

“Well, maybe dude is something that just boys think is cool. Maybe it doesn't work with girls.”

After spending our marshmallows on sticks, we grabbed a couple of extras and ran over to Diane and Heidi. I started roasting my marshmallow.

“You're holding it too close to the flame,” Diane said. “It's going to catch on fire.”

“Will not,” I said. Just then my marshmallow went up in flames.

Diane hit me on the shoulder. “See, I told you.”

I kept it in the fire. “Well, I like it that way, all crisp and—” Unfortunately, before I could finish my sentence, my marshmallow fell off the stick and into the fire.

Heidi burst out laughing. “That's probably the way you like it too, all dirty and melted onto a burning log.”

I finally gave in. “Okay, maybe it's just a tiny bit too burnt.”

“Yeah, kind of like Graham here,” Diane said, slapping Graham on the back.

“Yeow!” Graham yelled.

While we all roasted another marshmallow, Tiny and BB walked up.

“Hello,” Tiny said. “I'm Tiny.”

“If you're tiny, then what's he?” Diane said, pointing to Graham. We all laughed, except for Graham.

“No, his name is Tiny,” Graham said.

BB adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. “And I'm BB. I like bugs.”

“Nice to meet you, BB. I'm Heidi, and I don't like bugs,” she said with a smile.

“Then you must be Graham's girlfriend,” BB said to Diane.

“I don't think so!” Diane snapped.

Heidi laughed. “Graham doesn't have a girlfriend!” she told BB.

“What do you mean?” BB turned to Graham, whose sunburn had suddenly gotten even redder. But before he could say anything, a shout came from the other side of the campfire.

“The moment has arrived!” Mark Herron's friend announced, standing on a rock. “The Amazing Mark is about to eat tonight's Herron's Heap.”

“Who's the Amazing Mark?” Heidi asked.

“Just some kid who eats anything,” I said. “It's kind of sick.”

“I want to see.” Heidi pushed her way to the front of the crowd. Diane stayed back since she was tall enough to see over everyone.

“All right, dudes,” Mark said. “I will begin with an ordinary graham cracker.” He held up the cracker above his head. Then he took a napkin out of his pocket and opened it up. It looked like he had squished a bunch of food from dinner in there.

“Now we will add the heap.” He set some peas on the cracker and smashed them so they wouldn't fall off. Then he put on a piece of chicken and smothered it in applesauce. “Dude, marshmallow, please.” His friend brought over a freshly roasted marshmallow, which Mark placed on top of the mess. Then just before eating it he shouted, “And what goes better with graham crackers than milk?” He poured some milk over the hideous cracker sandwich and took a huge bite.

There were a lot of oohs and aahs from the crowd. I thought the girls would be grossed out, but they weren't. When the boys started chanting Mark's name, the girls joined right in. Mark took one more bite out of the cracker creation. It was dripping down his chin. Everyone cheered.

Pretty soon it was time for the girls to go. Diane and Heidi couldn't stop talking about the Amazing Mark.

“Didn't you hear how many times he said
dude
?” I asked. “I thought you guys hated that.” Heidi and Diane looked at each other.

“I didn't notice,” Heidi replied.

Diane shook her head. “Me neither.”

When we got back to the cabin, everyone was ready for Roses, Thorns, and Buds. It seemed like all of the roses were either the hike up to Grizzly Peak or the Amazing Mark and his disgusting s'more.

Carl was the last kid to share. He pulled his finger out of his nose and stood up. He cleared his throat and said, “My rose was everything we did today. And my thorn is the word
dude
. No offense to some of you who are calling everyone
dude
, but I just can't take it anymore. It's driving me nuts.” A couple of other guys nodded their heads, but no one looked directly at us. Then Carl took a deep breath and continued, “And my bud is everything else we're doing tomorrow.”

Toad went last. He stood up and said, “My rose is the great hike we went on today. You guys are such an awesome patrol. I guess my thorn is getting you involved in that silly bet with the Muscular Monsters.”

“It's okay, dude. I mean, Toad,” Graham said. Then he mouthed “Sorry” to Carl.

“No, I should have been a better example to you guys. But that brings me to my bud: seeing Flex and the Muscular Monsters wearing their underpants on their heads Friday night!”

We all jumped up and cheered. “Har! Toad Claws!” we yelled, hopping in circles. After last night's adventure and today's hike, we decided to call it an early night.

Just before Graham and I stood up, Toad came over and sat down by us.

“Hey, guys. I just want you to know I've really enjoyed having you in my patrol. I don't know where all this dude stuff came from, but let me give you some advice.” Graham and I leaned in toward him.

“Just be yourselves, and don't try to be like anyone else. We've got a great patrol, and you've made a lot of friends here who like you for who you are. That's what camp is all about. Remember that.” Then he got up and walked down toward the lodge.

I looked at Graham. “What's that supposed to mean? How can the Amazing Mark get away with calling everyone
dude
, and when we do it, all of a sudden people think we're not being ourselves?”

“I know,” Graham said. “It's like everyone's saying that Mark can say
dude
because he's cool. But us, no way—we're geeks and should only say geeky things. I can't believe Carl complained about us. I wish I could say my thorn over again. I'd say it was seeing Carl pick his nose all the time.”