Could It Be I'm Falling in Love? (55 page)

Chelle and Dwayne Blowers remain reunited.

They are the proud owners of a chinchilla, Chanel.

Cressida Cunningham refused Simon Cowell’s offer to be a judge on
Britain’s Got Talent
.

She runs an online advice service for youth enterprise and gives extra tuition to local school children, free of charge.

She remains the
Daily Telegraph’s
agony aunt.

After months of requests, Carmen Bonitta eventually agreed to marry Austin Jones. Simon and Woody are said to be organising the stag night, fitting it around Austin’s numerous production commitments.

Austin still, on occasion, shoots paparazzi with beer.

Nicola Blunt’s career continues to rise.

She is currently being headhunted by two major US news networks.

Woody and Roxy married in Lavender Heath in June.

It was a quiet ceremony, with only family and close friends in attendance. They did not sell their photographs to a high-profile magazine, but instead posed happily on the steps of the Dog and Duck pub. They are expecting their first child in the autumn – a girl.

Despite her growing bump, Roxy is often seen hurtling around the village, rushing to the aid of women facing a styling emergency or crisis in confidence. She has opened a tea shop, serving award-winning, vegetable-based cakes from behind the cleanest windows in Lavender Heath.

Woody continues to clean windows.

He hasn’t been flashed at in a very long time.

THE END

From:
Charlotte Van Wijk (Quercus Publishing)

To:
Nicola Budd (Quercus Publishing)

Nicola

Roxy Squires has been in touch again (see below). Please can you let her down gently?

Thanks

C

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

From:
Roxy Squires

To:
Charlotte Van Wijk (Quercus Publishing)

Hey Quercus people

It’s me again – Foxy Roxy Squires! Look, I know you said no to my book idea,
1001 Ways To Party (& Still Be At Work By 9)
, but I’m telling you – you’re making a serious mistake. It’s got stocking-filler written all over it. I’m talking an A-Z on living large and not getting fired – a handbook for the modern age!

Anyway, I thought I’d give you a second chance before another publisher snaps it up … so here are a few extracts to tempt you …

Rox x

If you fancy a Big Night Out the night before a big day in the office – don’t worry. You
can
have your party cake and eat it. Here are my tips on how …

Prepare, prepare, prepare

Before a big night on the sauce, you need to line your stomach. Marathon runners prepare for a race with pasta, but I’d rather leg it 26 miles than self-carb. Common wisdom recommends milk, but I find cream-based cocktails work just as well. White Russians do the trick…two large ones, around 6 o’clock.

Think trotters

If you’re already loved-up, or are in steady, civilian employment, you might feel able to party without heels. Trainers are a clubber’s best friend and help avoid next-day ‘broken feet’. But flatties aren’t an option for celebs. For anyone on the right side of the camera, don’t even think about less than 5 inches. Just remember to botox your trotters first.

Don’t forget your toothbrush

You’ve got a lot to fit into that handbag, so pay attention. Sunglasses? Check. Toothbrush & gum? Check. Brand new supplies of make-up? Check. You’ll need all this in the morning, so check again.

Put in the flirtatious groundwork

You never know when you’ll be needing a favour from the office security guard, so make sure you give him a cheeky wink on your way out.

OK, so now you’re partying. Don’t forget to party hard!