Count on Me (Bayview Heights Trilogy) (16 page)

And so the girl talked, about her values, about her beliefs, about her hopes and plans. Where appropriate, he made comments and answered direct questions, but he tried just to let her articulate her thoughts.

An hour later he stood in front of Zoe’s condominium door, Ashley by his side.

“She’ll be disappointed in me.” In the dim light of the porch, he could see Ashley’s eyes tear up.

“No, she’ll help you sort this out.” As he smiled down at the girl, he said, “You need adult guidance in your life now, Ashley. We’re here to give it to you.” During their talk, he’d advised her more than once to tell her parents, but she absolutely refused.

The door opened.

Zoe stood before them in jeans and a plain white cotton top. Over which she’d thrown a flannel shirt he recognized. It was one of his that he must have left here last year. Seeing it on her stunned him for a minute. Finally, he found his voice.

“Sorry to bother you so late, but I think this is something you’ll want to deal with tonight.”

Zoe transferred her gaze to Ashley. “Are you all right, honey?”

The young girl threw herself in Zoe’s arms, sobbing. “No.”

Zoe stared at Kurt over Ashley’s head with questions in her eyes.

“She needs to talk to you.” He reached out and squeezed Ashley’s shoulder. “Take care,” he said.

The girl turned. Still holding on to Zoe, she grabbed Kurt’s hand. “Thanks, Dr. Lansing.”

“We’re here for you, Ashley. Don’t ever forget it.”

He heard the door close as he hustled down the sidewalk. He tried to ignore the fact that he never thought he’d be at Zoe’s place again, never thought his life would entwine with hers like this.

Being at her house was hard, though, harder than he thought.

He stopped at his car and turned to face the condo on the bay. What the hell had she been doing, wearing his shirt?

o0o

AT MIDNIGHT Zoe rang Kurt’s doorbell. She’d just dropped Ashley off at home, and the Lansings’ old condo was only a few blocks from the Emersons, so she’d driven here.

 Poor excuse, girl.

Damn it, she was tired. And upset. Right now she wanted to shake Ashley for being so stupid. And she wanted to wring Evan Michaels’s neck. Since she could do neither, she gave in to the urge to see Kurt, to talk to him, to let him help her deal with this, just as he’d helped her sort out so many problems in the past.

She rang again. When the door opened, Zoe’s mouth went dry. Kurt stood before her in his glasses, forest-green sweatpants and nothing else. He looked so sexy, so male, she told herself to turn and run for her life.

But she had few emotional reserves left. She looked around at the porch. “I’m upset. I need to talk. Since you know about Ashley...” She shrugged. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” He stepped aside. “I was just reading in bed. Come on into the den.” He led the way to the back of the house. Zoe had spent countless hours here with the Lansings, and the familiar surroundings made her feel safe. Comfortable.

The fact that Mitch and Cassie had left their leather couch and chair put her even more at ease. “Cassie didn’t want this furniture?” she asked inanely.

“No, not yet. They’re going to take it once they’ve finished their basement.”

“Did you bring any of your own things?”

His eyebrow arched at her query. She’d avoided any personal talk for weeks. “Yeah, sure. My living-room furniture and kitchen set.” He cleared his throat. “My bed.”

Zoe nodded.

He sank onto one end of the couch. “You didn’t come here to talk about decorating, Zoe. Sit.”

She gave him a once-over. “Could you put on a shirt?”

Looking surprised, he stood and shrugged into the cotton shirt he’d thrown on the couch. “That better?”

She nodded, thinking of the shirt she’d had on when he came to the door. After her workout and shower, in a moment of weakness, she’d donned it. She’d also been looking at the photo album he’d given her of the trip they’d taken to the Bahamas. She didn’t often allow herself to wallow in her self-pity over what she’d lost, but she’d been weepy tonight, about him. Her only hope was that he hadn’t noticed the shirt.

“I wanted to thank you for helping Ashley.”

“Is that why you came?”

“Partly. The other part is I’m furious about this whole thing, and I need to talk about it. Nobody else knows, and I can’t betray a confidence, so…”

“You came to me.” He smiled. “It’s okay. I’m glad you’re here.” She stared at him. The darkness outside was broken by a sliver of moon, which sneaked in through the blinds. The room itself was dimly lit by two sconces in the corners. “How is she?”

“Better, now that she cried it out. She said you were wonderful.”

“I did what I could for her. What will she do, do you think?”

“I don’t know.” Zoe sighed heavily, toed off her shoes and curled her legs under her. “I don’t know how to advise her.”

He stared off out the window. “I don’t know what I’d want Lauren to do if she was in this situation.”

“How is Lauren?”

“Good. I saw her last week for dinner. I drove up to Binghamton.” When Zoe didn’t comment, he added, “She asked about you.”

“She’s a nice kid.” Zoe felt her insides tighten. When she was dating Kurt, she and the girl had shared some fun shopping trips.

“Evan Michaels is not pulling his weight here, is he?” Kurt said.

“No. I’d like to kick his butt for it, too.”

“Guys do stupid things, Zoe, especially when they’re under pressure.” He looked at her sadly. “I should know.”

“Is that how you rationalize what you did to me?” She didn’t know why she’d responded this way. The look on his face, the photo album, the shirt, a guy you couldn’t count on.

“No, I never rationalized it.” His voice was hoarse. “I was simply wrong.”

Closing her eyes, she threw her head back for a moment. “I couldn’t believe it, you know? I just couldn’t believe you’d do that to me.”

He said only, “I’m sorry.”

“I was in love with you.”

A muscle leaped in his jaw. He waited a long time before he said, “I loved you, too.”

That drove her from her seat. “Don’t tell me that! Don’t you
dare
tell me that now. You don’t hurt someone you love like you hurt me.” She stalked to the window.

He rose and followed her. “I was going to tell you that night,” he said achingly. “I was going to ask you to marry me.”

A ball of pain formed inside Zoe. She turned and stared at him, allowing the feeling to surface, ignoring the rapid rise and fall of his chest. “How can you say that? If you’d loved me, you wouldn’t have torn my life apart. If you’d wanted to marry me, you could never have gone back to Elizabeth.”

His eyes darkened with pain. “I made a mistake.”

“Stop saying that! It’s as if you think that makes it all right.”

He grasped her upper arms, and his hands clenched on her as if he was trying to control himself. “No, no sweetheart, it doesn’t. I know what I did was unforgivable. So I’m not making excuses for myself.”

His candor took the wind out of her sails. She went limp and stepped back. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t it?” His hands fisted at his sides. “Then why are you here?”

“To talk about Ashley.”

His expression was skeptical. “All right, then why did you almost faint when I was dangling on that harness last weekend? You were terrified for me. You still care about me.”

“Stop this. You’re fighting dirty.”

“You’ve given me reason to hope.”

“No, I haven’t.”

She saw the temper flare in his eyes. “Yeah? Then why did you have my shirt on tonight?”

Her face flamed. She just looked at him.
Oh, God, was he right? Was she giving him reason to pursue her again? Did she want that?

They squared off like enemies, staring at each other.

And then he reached for her.

o0o

A VOLCANO OF EMOTION, long dormant, erupted out of Kurt at the first touch of his lips on hers; it had been so long. Blood pumped like hot lava through his veins, scorching him from the inside.

He took her mouth, consumed her.

Just as ravenous, she devoured him. He felt her nails dig into his back. The beast inside had claimed her, too.

Eyes closed, he covered her mouth with his; reaching for the hem of her sweater, he dragged it up, then released her long enough to yank it over her head, unhook her bra, toss it aside and finally tear off his own shirt.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew she wouldn’t do this if she was sane, if she gave it any thought, but he was too desperate to care. So he did his best to keep her crazy. His hands gripped her bottom, lifted her up and toward him for another full kiss. Letting her mouth go, he buried his face in her breasts. She cried out and hung on.

With her, he stumbled to the couch and set her on her feet. She fumbled at his sweatpants, pushed them down. He tore at her jeans. When they were finally naked, he pressed her down to the couch and covered her. She moaned. His heart beat so fast he thought it might explode.

Passion clouded her eyes, and Kurt knew it matched what was in his.
I don’t care, I don’t care. I just want her.

She tasted his jaw, his throat, sucked there, took little bites. Neither spoke; grunts, groans and long deep moans created a sexual chorus of accompaniment to their fevered touches. He rose on his elbows, then reached down to part her legs. She opened up to him.

Without thought, he thrust inside her. She was hot and tight and wet for him. Tears burned behind his eyelids with the knowledge that he’d willingly given this up. Because of it, he thrust hard and long and more forcefully than ever before.

It only took seconds for Zoe to spiral, then shatter. Seconds more, and he, too, climaxed. It was earthshaking and tumultuous; she didn’t come back to reality for a long time. All she could think of when she did, as he collapsed on her, was that she’d had him again. Finally.

Sanity returned in degrees. He eased her to the inside of the couch and rolled onto his side. She whimpered when he withdrew and she curled into him. When she shivered, he dragged the plaid blanket from the back of the couch and covered them both.

Snuggling under it, she forced her mind to go blank. She didn’t want to think about what she’d just done and how cataclysmic it had been. In a few minutes she would. Not yet.

He seemed content to simply lie there with her, brushing his hand up and down her bare back, occasionally kissing her head. Finally he said, “What are we going to do, love?”

His question brought back the ghosts. He’d touched her like a man in love tonight, but he’d done the same thing the weekend before he’d gone to bed with his ex-wife. Suddenly images of him and Elizabeth were superimposed over what she and Kurt had just shared. She tried to banish them, but she couldn’t. He must have felt her stiffen.

“Zoe?”

“I can’t forget what you did.”

For a moment he didn’t say anything. “Would you be willing to try?”

She drew back. “No, I don’t think so.” Sitting up, she reached for her shirt. “I’m afraid, Kurt, and I don’t trust you.”

“I know.” He grasped her arm and she looked at him. His hair was deliciously disheveled and his face high with color. “I lo—”

She clapped her hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it right now.” She stood and finished dressing. “I think we should forget this happened.”

“No.”

“It’s my choice, Kurt. You gave up all rights to make decisions in this relationship when you slept with Elizabeth.”

Pain deepened his green eyes. “So you keep reminding me.”

Finding her shoes, she said throatily, “I’m going. Let’s not talk about this again.”

In minutes she was at the door and out of his house. She breathed in the night air and with renewed determination battled back the tears.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Abortion. Gay/lesbian support groups. Condoms. Counseling about safe sex in middle school. Parents, beware. Thanks to a new local establishment, these are the things your children can get without your even knowing about it. It’s no secret that I opposed the Bayview Heights Clinic for young adults…

KURT FINISHED READING the neatly typed, single-spaced letter, then looked up at Lacey Taylor, who sat across from him in his office. “When did you get this?”

“Today. We have to run it in the
Herald
, Kurt. I’m sorry. Bosco’s on the town council—”

“Damn. It’s not only inflammatory, but inaccurate. We don’t perform abortions.”

“But Planned Parenthood does abortion counseling for minors, right?”

“Yes, of course. All over the country, Lace.”

Her pretty blue eyes smiled sympathetically. “Hey, you don’t have to convince me. I think kids should have all the help they can get. I wish there’d been more places like your clinic when Kevin was in high school.”

Kurt nodded in understanding. Lacey’s brother had died in prison three years ago. Kurt didn’t have to be a doctor to know there was no cure for that kind of loss. “You must miss him.”

“Yes. I do. But his memory is one of the things that makes me support the clinic.”

“Thanks.” He knuckled the paper in front of him. “What can I do about this?”

“Write a rebuttal. We’ll print it along with the letter.”

“Bosco will love that.”

“We do it all the time, to be fair.” She smiled sadly. “The
Herald
wasn’t always fair, Kurt. Making it unbiased was one of my goals when I took over.”

“You’re referring to the articles your grandfather wrote against the high school.” Kurt had heard the story from Mitch. After he became friends with the Taylors, they’d talked about it openly.

“Yes. Grandpa admits he wasn’t being fair to Seth, and now he supports my editorial position fully.”

“Philip’s turnaround was amazing, wasn’t it?”

“People change.” Lacey focused on him. “And they can forgive each other.”

Did Lacey think Zoe could forgive Kurt? He couldn’t ask, couldn’t even think about last night. “
Sometimes
people forgive each other.” His gaze dropped to the letter. “I’ll write a response tonight.” Glancing at the clock, he asked, “Want me to drop it off at your house later?”